by Lisa Ladew
Harlan leaned in close, letting go of his lover’s hands just long enough to grasp her by both soft hips and pull her in to him even closer, then a cup and a kiss for each gorgeous nipple, then grab those hands again, those creeping hands and hold them tight behind her back and run his free hand through her hair, through the curls, pull a little bit as he leaned in close, whispering something that he wasn’t quite sure what the words were, but the tone and the meaning were, “Holy shit, Evie, I am going to fuck you so good, it’s going to be all hard and pounding and biting and scratching until you tire just a little bit, and then I’m gonna pull you all in close to me and slide my hands along your body, just the fingertips, just the glide of my skin on your skin, making that art, creating that music, writing those stories, and I’m gonna go slow inside you and the velvet pull of you will make me helpless to do anything but bite you and ravage you and take you again and again-” Her breath was coming faster and deeper and her hips were losing their rhythm, stuttering, and the little moans and breathy yes’es from her were driving him mad. He let go of her hands and dropped his hands to her hips, stilling them, stilling her, wanting to know if he could feel the heat of her body through both their clothing but she managed to free her hips with a small cry, jerking them forward harshly, and with one press against him her body tightened and she cried out, sighing, moaning, keening, the orgasm rippling over her face, spilling out of her with a fierce beauty that he could scarcely handle. Emotion filled him. Something so overwhelming he tried to hold it back, keep it at bay.
Too late, Harlan realized the door was open and someone was watching them. Burton or Jaggar? Which would be worse? Jaggar, definitely Jaggar. No, Burton. A quick check told him Evie’s shirt was unbuttoned but not open, her breasts pressed against his chest anyway.
It was Jaggar in the doorway, and in his arms he held presents. A wrapped box with a dark bow in one hand, a fistful of flowers in the other. If it had just been Jaggar standing there, present-less, maybe Harlan would have been able to keep himself from doing what he did, but with those tokens in Jaggar’s hands, Harlan was helpless to control himself.
Jaggar needed to know that Evie was done playing children’s games, done letting Burton keep her locked into an age everyone knew she couldn’t possibly be. There could be no possible doubt in his mind just exactly who Evie belonged to.
Harlan.
She was Harlan’s mate, and Jaggar’s days of sniffing around her were over. Harlan angled her so if she opened her eyes she wouldn’t see Jaggar, then dropped his mouth to her collarbone, gaze on Jaggar, whispering in her ear, “You’re so beautiful, so perfect, so soft. Any wolf would be lucky to have you, but you’re mine, all mine.”
Her breathing quickened from relaxed to yearning and she squirmed in his arms, reaching for him.
“No Evie, it’s your turn again, if you’re a good girl.” He kissed. Held her hands. Licked. Bit lightly, then switched sides, showed his fangs, eyes on Jaggar, pulling her shirt away, poising his fangs just over her renqua. Pressing. Barely puncturing the skin while he kept Evie pulled in to him and let her grind all she wanted. She moaned at his teeth on her skin.
“Say you’re mine. Say you’ll always be mine, say you’ll never even look at another male,” he rasped into her ear.
Harlan stared into Jaggar’s eyes, nodding slightly over and over as Evie did as she’d been told, her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed, her cinnamon curls pouring down her back. “I’m yours Harlan, your mate, only your mate, and I will never look at another male, I’ll always be yours, even death won’t part us, I swear.”
“Good girl,” he said softly. “Now you get your treat.”
He angled his Evie how he wanted her, putty in his hands, hips forward, head back, encircling her, pinning her arms at her sides, then raised his eyebrows at Jaggar. You sure you want to want to see this?
Jaggar didn’t. He turned, his face a stiff mask, then disappeared down the hallway. Harlan kicked the door shut again, locked it, then saw to his female.
30 - Past - Mating Day
Evie woke in the room off of her office quickly, her eyes popping open, like she’d just shut them the moment before.
Her mating day.
It would be simple, only her and Harlan. She’d had the judge sign the papers the day before, declaring her legally 18 since her last birthday, and they would go to the courthouse first thing that morning. Harlan had something planned for after, their first true mating and of course her claiming, and she didn’t care what else, as long as she was with him, and then they would go to Burton, tell him they were mated, and that he didn’t have to worry about her anymore.
She untangled herself from her mate and went out to her office to start her day, thinking her stomach hurt, but she didn’t have time for that. She drank a glass of water but by the time she got to her breakfast, her stomach was too jumpy to eat, and her mind was fuzzy.
She doubled down mentally, skipping breakfast, going over the morning’s business so she could take a few days off with a clear conscience. Her head swam, but she forced herself to think, to act. A letter from Jaggar on her desk. She’d already read it a dozen times, and she would read it a dozen more, she bet.
Evie,
I’ve already started and stopped this letter many times on the bus on the way to boot camp, so I hope I finish it one of these times and send it to you before I get there. I’ve heard they don’t let you do mail for a few weeks. I know you know that I’ve had a crush on you for a few years, and I didn’t want you to think I left because you’re with Harlan now, although I’m sure it could be construed as a trigger. It’s not that I ever thought we would end up together, but it’s more because you’re the only female I’ve ever known who didn’t agitate the Beast. It was easy for me to be with you, in a way that I can’t be with anyone else on the planet. Something about you makes me quiet inside and that’s the only reason I’ve stayed in Serenity for so long. You’ve been a good friend and I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye, but now I have to find my own way, discover what, besides the Beauty, soothes the Beast. You were never my Beauty, but you were the prettiest thing in my life, and you were my friend. I will never forget you.
Yours, Jag
Evie stared at the letter for a long time before folding it up and putting it in her pocket, wondering if she would show it to Harlan, or burn it. The letter made it sound like Jaggar believed he would never see her again, like he would never return to Serenity. Which would be a disaster. She should show Harlan, but she wasn’t sure how he would react. He’d been strange about Jaggar since Jaggar had disappeared and news had come in that he’d joined the Army. She would tell him though. Later. Tonight.
And that was the last clear thought she had.
Harlan helped her to the courthouse, so worried about her, not wanting to go through with it. She insisted. Their pagers went off again and again. Evie dropped hers in a garbage can, she didn’t want to know. I do. I do. Her head swam. Their pagers again, again. Everyone calling Harlan, everyone calling her. Female shiften were dying all over the world. Half of the police force was out, and oh Rhen, Burton was right, Burton was right, Burton was right....
31 - Just in Time for a Kiss
Back to the Present
Evie was on her back in the big bed, the not-swan bed that was too big for just her. But it wasn’t her body, she had to remember that. She was in Leilani’s body, which felt like a santa-suit to her, too big, not hers, she just couldn’t get it to do much.
Leilani’s eyes were worse and Evie struggled to see out of them when she could get them open. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there, how much time had passed since Harlan and Jaggar had pulled Leilani out of The Roosevelt and brought her to Trevor’s house, set her up in Trent’s room, in Trent’s king-size bed with its silk sheets and its bed of gray pillows. Two days, she thought, maybe three, and the drugs were slowly clearing from Leilani’s system, but things seemed to be worse, not better, for Leilani’s
body. Remington was a constant figure in the house, checking on Track, Treena, Kendra, and Leilani. Evie tried daily, hourly to communicate with anyone in the room, but without Leilani there to run her body, Evie hadn’t been able to do it yet. She would never stop trying, but if she hadn’t managed in another day, she would retreat to the meadow and convince Leilani to try again to return to her body. Eventine refused to consider the possibility that Leilani wouldn’t be in the meadow. That would be a disaster, and it was why Evie heading back to Rhen’s meadow was an absolute last resort. What if she couldn’t get back by herself?
She studied the room for the hundredth time through Leilani’s ruined eyes. There was a lot to look at. Trent’s room, he’d rather sleep in the forest, they said, so Ella’d had his room decorated to look like the forest to entice him to spend more time in it.
The males and their mates made their way in and out of the room, talking about life, her, the young, and everything that was going on. Evie wished Leilani were there to feel the love that had been showered on her since she’d been there. Leilani could use love in her life. She got daily massages, hair washings, makeup applied, her sisters read to her, they talked to her, told her stories and read her books. They’d moved couches and chairs into the room so someone would always have a place to sit with her, and someone was always there. Jaggar and Harlan never left the room.
Evie blinked hard, dragged her eyes open. It felt like she was dragging them forever, but they only opened a sliver. Still, she could see the ceiling. It was painted a light forest green, the green of newly budded grasses, with vines and leaves hidden around the edges of the room. The walls, likewise, were a forest green, but a darker one. Actual vines twined with white twinkling lights surrounded the room at the junction of wall and ceiling, all the way around in a rectangle. It gave Evie something pretty to look at as she struggled with Leilani’s body. From what she’d heard Ella had suggested it, and it had been a project they’d worked on together. Who knew Trent was such a romantic at heart? Evie liked it. Liked being here, close to everyone, in the thick of things, even if none of them knew she was there, even if they all looked down and all that they saw was Leilani.
Rhen’s meadow had let her see what was happening here in the lives of these shiften and OTMs that she loved, but she’d never been able to experience it. Never been able to feel the love, hear the voices, smell their scents as they spoke and moved about their days.
Evie had been an outsider. Essentially, she still was, but now she was on the inside.
A female came into Evie’s vision, looking at Leilani with concern in her eyes. Evie outlined the features, the hair. Dark hair, tall, pale like Snow White. Ella. She shall be Queen, Crew had said about Ella, which Evie had always thought was a strange word for him to use. The shiften were not a society who had any use for “royalty.”
Mother would have more accurately described Ella. Evie had seen her soothe two young at once, and hug Dahlia at the same time, while she answered questions from Cerise about the young and gave Trevor a list of Honey-dos a mile long.
She was the same age as the rest of them, but she’d matured into her role as the mate of the Lieutenant of the KSRT and the first one true mate found nicely. She’d been in the room talking to Leilani more than anyone else, even though Leilani didn’t respond.
Ella had Track in her arms. She was speaking to someone out of Evie’s field of vision, but Evie was studying Track and couldn’t hear what was being said.
The baby boy squirming in Ella’s arms, trying desperately to get to the bed, holding out his chunky arms to her, did not look one month old. Six months maybe, at that robust age just before they start crawling. But no, he was only one month old. Special angel genes or something. He was dressed in a simple white onesie. His eyes were a deep steel grey and locked on Leilani’s face. Ella wrestled with him, then finally gave up and put him on the pillow next to Leilani. Oh wow, he was crawling already. Not well, but he pulled himself closer to Leilani’s face using her hair and rocking on his knees. Ella yelled something out the door, something about Cerise, don’t let Treena up there! And then a tiny howl, adorable, but heart-wrenching at the same time. Treena had fallen off of something and wanted her daddy with the desperation of the very young.
Ella rushed out of the room, and then there was someone else there, her eyes on Track. Dark hair, big eyes, haunted expression. Dahlia. She watched Track with her hands out, hovering around him, like he might launch himself into the wall, headfirst, at any moment.
Track crawled up onto Leilani’s face and peeled open one of Leilani’s eyes, wide. He stared into it like it was a window and he could see Evie in there behind it.
Thanks, buddy. I was having issues with that.
Track grinned, showing one white chicklet tooth peeking out of his lower gums.
Rowr, he growled inside his mind in a passable cartoon wolf growl, projecting it to her. He chomped his gums together and a bit of slobber leaked out of his mouth onto Leilani’s eyeball. Evie winced. Ooh, sorry, Leilani. He’s breastfed, it’s probably no big deal.
So he was born speaking ruhi, even though he had no words yet. Interesting. Most young who were going to develop the ability did not develop it until at least ten, sometimes puberty, sometimes not till they mated. Only about half of the shiften population ever learned it at all.
So that was two of the young born speaking ruhi. Actually, Kendra’d had had the ability while still inside her mother. Evie bet Treena knew it, too.
She wondered what their renqua were. The dragengel wouldn’t have one but the wolfengel would… wouldn’t they? She hadn’t heard a whisper yet. She wondered if he had shifted yet. Ella had been worried because he hadn’t, the last Evie heard, even though Treena had shortly after the surgery in which they’d been separated.
Surely she would have heard if either of the young had a star renqua. Everyone would have been talking about that. A new Citlali had not been born in 29 years, and the old ones were losing their sights. Prophecy rarely came through anymore.
Track let go of Leilani’s eye and it flapped closed. Evie struggled with it. Open. Open. She wanted to see…
Harlan entered her field of vision at the end of the bed and she sucked in a breath. She couldn’t see much more than a blur but she caught the silver and the black and a bit of his male scent.
He looked so good, even blurry. So strong and right and real. He’d aged so well, a true silver wolf her mate. If only she could touch him…
Evie moved Leilani’s fingers. She was getting it. She could get it. She could turn the head, move the eyes a bit, and the mouth. Would she be able to talk to someone soon? A few more days? Surely they had time.
Another male appeared next to Harlan. Jaggar. Her friend. She’d missed him, too, writing him long letters in Rhen’s meadow then reading them to him while he slept. All her theories about military strategy, all their discussions about the importance of things like a Golden Bridge, which was an out for the enemy. They’d spent many pleasant hours discussing the paradoxical of war and strategy. When Jaggar had been trying to break Grey’s code, Evie had helped him as much as she could. It was hard from the meadow. She’d had divine knowledge that could help him, but even though he instinctively knew what she was whispering inside his mind to be true he couldn’t accept it from her in that way. Couldn’t accept anything that sounded like his dead friend talking to him. So she’d feed him ideas, then have to wait while he explored his way to seeing them himself. Weeks, sometimes.
Evie concentrated hard, trying to hear what was being said around her and keep Leilani’s eyes open at the same time. Jaggar was upset. He shook his head. Harlan’s hands were up. Trying to calm Jaggar.
Leilani’s eyes drifted closed and Eventine forced them open again. They shut again. Evie felt an uncontrollable exhaustion pulling at her from Leilani. The body needed to sleep so much. And it shut down all her senses. Evie was left in a dark room until it woke. The eyes shut, the sound faded. Evie relaxe
d and let the body shut down. Leilani needed the rest. But the second it woke, she’d be working on talking, on moving again. She had to talk to Harlan.
No, you just want to. But what do you think that will do to him?
Evie sat in the quiet dark room and contemplated that question. What was her ultimate fate? To head to the Haven, wait for Harlan there? Yes, as soon as she… did whatever it was she’d been born to do. So would telling Harlan she was there help anything? What would it do to him to lose her a second time? But Leilani would tell him she had been there. Wouldn’t she? Assuming Leilani ever spoke a rational word to anyone. Fear and sadness for the relationship of Jaggar and Leilani gripped at her, wanting to sink her, smother her in listlessness, in guilt and shame, and she resisted as best she could, until Butterfly nudged her.
Let it pass
Let it pass. She would try.
***
Harlan slumped in the chair next to the bed Leilani was sleeping in. Not sleeping. Her right hand rhythmically opened and closed, and sometimes she bent her elbow slightly, but her eyes were closed. She hadn’t spoken to anyone yet. Remington had said she might never speak again, that he had no way of knowing if she’d sustained brain damage from the shock treatment she’d been getting.
Jaggar had looked like he’d rather be sticking hot needles into his eyes than hearing that news. Which was worse? A dead mate or a brain-dead mate? Harlan stood and paced. He’d gotten grumpy as hell over the years. Who the fuck asked a question like that, even in their own mind? Shit. He didn’t need to think anymore. Just stay here, keep Leilani safe, do what was asked of him.