One True Mate 7_Shifter's Paradox

by Lisa Ladew

  Ella freaked, running after him. “Troy, we agreed, no scruff of the neck carrying, especially not as a human! Didn’t Trevor tell you!” Evie allowed herself a small smile. Poor Ella was having conniptions with the young and it was not going to get any better.

  Troy was out though, right to his room. He carried Track in, who was laughing and giggling, and trying to grab ahold of Troy’s fur, jumped up onto the bed and curled up around Track, telling him in ruhi, It’s ok, Track, you're fine just the way you are. You don’t ever have to shift if you don’t want to. Track may have spoken back in ruhi, but Evie couldn’t catch it. Another baby snarl, maybe. Evie’s focus shifted back to Ella in the other room. She had called Trevor in and told him what had happened. Trevor was telling her to let them be, that Troy was right, she was making too much of it and that sometimes these things happened, you couldn’t rush them. Ella’s unspoken fear was very clear in her eyes. Trent and Troy would never shift, and Ella did not want to imagine Track as never being able to.

  The picture blurred again, making Evie dizzy, and she caught a glimpse of Harlan, then a swoop that told her time was passing, too much time, too quickly. She focused, hard, not wanting to miss anything, wanting to see someone other than Harlan for the first time in decades. Troy, show me Troy.

  He was asleep on his bed, a black wolf curled in a circle around a pudgy human baby, also sleeping. Evie stared at the two males, one young one not, one human, one not, one large, one not, and wondered for the first time if she had any influence from the meadow. She’d always considered herself just an observer, but maybe she’d always had it wrong. Maybe what she was actually supposed to be doing was more… steering. “Rhen,” she said aloud to the meadow, addressing the deae by name for the first time in her life. She’d never been one to seek Rhen’s guidance or pray for her council, not even after she ended up in the meadow. The two of them got along just fine as long as they each did their own thing. “Rhen, isn’t there anything that can be done to help Track shift? Look at him down there, so vulnerable. This is that age, isn’t it? That special age where the pups need to shift by. Can you help him?” Evie pulled back from the scene in the Ula slightly to watch the colors of the meadow for a sign that Rhen was listening. Nothing. The meadow was completely still, not even a bird flew or an insect buzzed. No sourceless wind blew, no sunless light shone. The meadow had gone a queer and stilted gray. Maybe that was a good sign. She tried again. “If you were down there helping him shift, not doing it for him, I know you don’t do that kind of thing, but I imagine if there were something that could be done that could, I don’t know, help him along, some sort of hormone or scent or something that—” she was babbling. She didn’t know what the hell to say or do, but she didn’t know what else to do. Why was she being shown this if she wasn’t meant to intervene in some way? She didn’t have any real power, but she knew the female who did. Had her own special, fucked-up relationship with her, and it was about time Evie started acknowledging it.

  A scream from the Ula.

  Evie snapped her attention back that way. Troy was gone, and in his place on the bed was a naked male Evie had never seen before, curled up next to a dark wolf pup with a white, curved renqua on his shoulder, two curves, like the front of a ‘B’.

  Ella was still screaming, but it cut off all at once, and the adult male on the bed was blasted against the wall, his body twisting so that his renqua showed…

  Ella rushed into the room, snatched up the wolf pup who was unharmed on the bed, staring wide-eyed at his momma, and ran to the doorway before turning around and staring. “Troy, oh my God, is that you?” she said.

  The big male on the bed only groaned, his hands flopping ineffectively at his sides.

  “Trevor!” Ella shouted, but most everyone in the house was already on the run, skidding to a stop at the doorway, craning to see Troy. Trevor was in first, then Wade, while Trent and the others watched from the hall.

  Whoa, what a mess. Only Harlan stayed with Leilani, sitting next to her bedside, his head in his hands. The house was in an uproar and Evie had trouble tracking everything from Rhen’s meadow. She squinted and tried to will time to slow down there.

  “What’s going on?” Leilani whispered, eyes wide.

  Evie hadn’t realized she could see what Evie could see. “That big guy on the floor? That’s Troy. He’s never shifted before, been a wolf only for 30 some years.”

  “Whoa, what happened?”

  Evie shrugged. “Not sure.” Probably a coincidence. There hadn’t been young for so long, maybe that was all he needed all along. The adults shifted to familiarize the young with the process, to trigger their own shift, so why couldn’t a new young shift trigger an adult shift?

  Everyone was trying to touch Troy, to help him. His neck stretched long as he tried to howl as a man. It didn’t work. He couldn’t get his body to work. Evie knew exactly how he felt. He crawled into the bathroom, then shut and locked the door behind him, blocking everyone out, obviously struggling with his body.

  Evie watched, fascinated. This had not happened last time, before her and Leilani had changed everything. Troy pulled himself up to the mirror and stared at his face for long moments while the others called to him from outside the door. Ignoring them completely, he ran his fingers over chiseled face, through wild, too-long, hair, and a beard that nearly reached his nipples. He looked good, handsome, a bit like Trevor, but his hair wasn’t as dark, and his body was leaner, packed with solid muscle you could tell had never seen a barbell. No, these weren’t pampered, cushy muscles. These were solid, hard-won muscles from the life of a wild wolf. She snuck a peek at his package. Goodness, she hoped he was a shower, not a grower or someone was gonna be in trouble.

  “Where’s Jaggar?” Leilani said, craning her neck to try to see behind the knot of people in the hallway.

  “He hasn’t come back yet,” Evie told her, pulling away from the fascinating scene in the Ula. This was a talk they needed to have. “And he needs to. You can talk to him from up here, you know. He might not know it’s you, but you can soothe him, heal him, and even communicate a little in his dreams.”

  Leilani looked down the path that led nowhere, pointing away from the meadow. This was Evie’s favorite place to watch Harlan, the place in the meadow where she could see him the best. “What’s he like?”

  Oh. Wow. Evie had been so caught up in her own drama she’d never even thought about how all of this was affecting Leilani, or how she’d figured out he was her mate. Or had she? Evie hadn’t told her.” Jaggar? He’s the best. Super smart. A little intense.”

  Leilani wrapped her arms around herself and stared off into space. “He won’t want me,” she said, her voice sad and far away.

  Crap. We need the couch and pillows again.

  They showed up neatly, like they’d always been there. Evie took one more glance at the Ula—Troy had clippers and was shaving off hair and beard and requesting food and clothes be brought to him in the bathroom in ruhi. Potato chips, chocolate, candy, soda, just like Leilani’s food requests, then curled her arm around Leilani and led her to the couch.

  “Let me tell you all about Jaggar,” she said, curling into the pillows, snuggling Leilani up next to her as they stared up at the pink sky and Evie tried not to agonize over what was going on without her. This was her place right now.

  “Jaggar is the baddest of the badasses. Smart and tough. Always has to do things the hardest way, and you as his mate will need to understand that. It will color your relationship in ways you can’t imagine.”

  If he came back. And if Leilani would leave the meadow.

  39 - No Wonder

  Evie sat cross-legged in the center of the Path of the Catamount, staring at the Ula, wondering if she could decide to go to the Haven, when something caught her attention. Harlan was out with Crew and Mac and Rogue, heading to Mrs. White’s shop one more time. They’d gotten an anonymous tip that Mrs. White was there. Harlan wanted answers from her.

 
What had caught her attention? She looked away from the Ula and listened hard to the meadow. Empty? Not empty, but Leilani was no longer there. They’d both fallen asleep on the couch and when Evie had woken, Leilani had been gone but Evie could still feel her. She was probably in her little glen with her recliner and her books and her watercolors. Except she wasn’t anymore.

  Somehow, she had left the meadow in the last few minutes.

  Show me, Evie whispered, suddenly terrified, certain she knew who had gone back in time to get her body.

  Burton.

  No wonder he’d gone moonstruck.

  Trevor’s house. Looked normal. It was a few days after Troy had shifted and things seemed calm, except Troy was now knocking all the males over when he saw them, super enthusiastic to see them but not quite in control of his big body yet. He stayed away from the females and the young and hadn’t said a word yet, except the ones he whispered to himself in the mirror of the bathroom, with the door locked. He mostly kept his mouth clamped tightly shut, like he was afraid what might come out of it. He’d already ate candy till he puked twice. Evie would have thought once would be enough.

  Troy was in the kitchen, hair short, beard gone, wearing someone else’s uniform but looking good in it, pulling all the food out of the fridge, throwing glances at the stove like he was trying to decide if he should try to use it.

  Trevor, Ella, and the young were upstairs in the twin’s room. Trent, Dahlia, Cerise, Conri, and Remington were in with Leilani’s body. Evie stared hard at it, trying to figure out if Leilani was in it. If she was, she was sleeping.

  The front door opened. Burton walked in.

  Oh no.

  Trent, don’t let him in, don’t let Burton in.

  Trent shook his wolf head and looked around the room, then loped to the window to look out. Trent, it’s me, it’s Eventine, don’t-

  But Burton was already in the room, crossing to the bed. Everyone in the room looked at him but no one made a move to stop him and when he made it to Leilani’s bedside, her eyes opened slowly, her hand moved, and she touched him. Evie watched, fascinated and horrified at the same time. She’d never seen the time travel from this perspective and oh Rhen, if it worked….

  Nothing happened for a moment, and Evie almost breathed a sigh of relief, but then Burton… rippled, rather like the meadow, and he had Evie in his arms, her head lolling, no muscle tone in her body at all. He stared down at her, his face creased in pain, his eyes leaking. He sank to the floor, gently set Evie down, and collapsed over the top of her, his big body shaking.

  No. Evie searched her own face. Empty. Slack. Dead?

  Where was Harlan?

  Show me, she whispered

  Pink, black, blood red, ripple, and then there was Harlan in the truck, all of them, coming back, turning onto the road leading to Trevor’s driveway. It had been a wild goose chase, Mrs. White had not been there and he was going to see he was going to see…

  Crew! She screamed at him, all composure gone, her 50 odd years of cultivating calmness in the face of crisis, destroyed. Crew, my body, it’s in the bedroom with Leilani and you have to get it and have the dragen burn it before Harlan sees it.

  Crew, sitting in the passenger seat of the big white, diesel truck Harlan was driving clamped his hands to the sides of his head, his face scrunched in pain. “Eventine, no,” he moaned. “I can’t do that.”

  Harlan stared at him, eyes wide. He floored it, the truck shooting down the road at a breakneck speed. No, Harlan was going to kill someone. Harlan’s realization, then stark dismay was all Evie could focus on. They rocketed down the road too fast-

  “They did it,” Crew gasped, still holding his head. “Her body, Harlan, Evie doesn't’ want you to see-”

  “Is she alive?” Harlan roared, the word ending on a growl that told Evie her mate was about to lose his mind.

  “Don’t let him in there,” Evie moaned to the meadow, holding her own head. She wasn’t in that body. It was going to die. They hadn’t even gotten an antidote to the poison. They’d had to have gone back to the point just before she died, once she’d passed out… Burton could not save her…

  Crew held his head, his eyes squeezed tight shut. “Evie says not for long, she says she’s not in that body and it won’t make it.”

  ***

  Harlan pressed the pedal all the way to the floor. He would see his Evie one more time, kiss her lips, and then he would-

  Nowl.

  I got you hoss.

  His wolf sat back on his haunches and howled so loud, so long, and so soulful that Harlan could hear it with his ears. Mac and Crew both shot upright in their seats and even Rogue looked around, rubbing at her chest.

  Mac spoke from the backseat. “Shit Harlan, I’m right here, you could have told me to tell Graeme with your words.”

  Crew’s dropped his hands to his lap and shot Harlan a look, then held on tightly as Harlan swung the truck into the driveway so fast it felt like they went up on two wheels. “Me, too, Harlan, right here, what in the hell was that?”

  Harlan tried to keep his hands to himself, he needed them to keep the steering wheel straight, as he drove way faster than he dared down Trevor’s driveway. “If someone doesn’t call Graeme right now, I’m going to kill you all.”

  “Already done. He’s there with her now, spilling his blood into her mouth,” Mac said.

  Crew confirmed. “Yep, I can see him through Trent’s eyes.” He held onto the door handle tightly. “Slow down, Trevor doesn’t need a hole in his house.”

  But Harlan, didn’t, couldn’t. Then he did. Truck stopped, in park? No idea, hit the ground at a run, someone else can handle, in the front door down the hallway into the room, and there she was.

  Eventine.

  Cinnamon curls, looking exactly as he remembered her, wearing her uniform, like she’d been working when she succumbed, eyes closed, face tight, sprawled on the floor, the dragen there, bending over, his front leg held to her mouth. She sucked swallowed sucked swallowed, muscles working mechanically, arms and legs and body limp, only her mouth having any tone. Dragen blood. In her stomach, pumping in there, doing… what?

  Harlan’s guts dropped to the floor. No. No. He backed up. Hit the wall. Wanted to touch her. Couldn’t. Couldn’t go to his Evie. Not possible. This was all a nightmare that couldn’t possible end well. Burton there, tears on his dark cheeks, his face a rictus of pain. “I couldn’t help it, Harlan, I’m so sorry. I had to… I had to try….” Harlan couldn’t answer. Couldn’t look at him, could only stare at his Evie, helpless and still on the floor, so different than she had been in life. This couldn’t possibly work, there was no way. She wasn’t going to make it. She was dead. She was dead. He’d accepted it. So how could she-

  Eventine’s face relaxed and what little lip tone she had relaxed, a dribble of Graeme’s blood dribbling out of the corner of her mouth. Harlan went to her, his fingers flexing, his hands opening, closing, he was going to touch his Evie one more time. You never got a second chance at a first love, and this was not a second chance, it wasn’t and he wouldn’t allow himself to hope, not even for a second. This was… this was nothing but a knife blade between his ribs. Twisting, seeking out his heart.

  Burton wandered away from him as he went to his Evie. The room was completely silent, Leilani still in the bed, eyes closed, Cerise, Dahlia, Trent watching him. Who else? The house was full and people crowded at the doorway. He didn’t care. He went to his Evie, knelt next to her. Graeme, transformed, backed up, moved away. Burton smashed a chair against the wall in the corner, but Harlan didn’t even look that way, barely heard it, barely heard the soft cries of the people around him as they went to Burton, tried to comfort him.

  Harlan gathered his Evie up in his arms and waited for her to die again.

  ***

  Evie stared at her body from Rhen’s meadow, shaking her head in denial, horrified at the blank expression on her mate’s face. If her body died again, that was it for Harlan. He w
ould not make it through this.

  She couldn’t believe they’d done it. It couldn’t possibly work. This was not what was meant to be. This was not how it was supposed to go? Was it?

  She stared, her mind working furiously remembering the advice she’d given Leilani. Aim and jump. Could it really be that simple? She closed her eyes, felt for her body, but could not find it, could not remember what it felt like. She could see it with her eyes when it was shown to her, but inside her own consciousness, there was nowhere to jump to. Nowhere to aim for.

  Had the body died already?

  She tore her eyes open.

  Show me, she whispered, but nothing happened.

  Show me. I need to see.

  Still nothing.

  “Rhen,” she screamed at the meadow, whirling to stare at the fucked-up metaphor that was her home.

  The meadow wavered. Disappeared. Evie stood in darkness. Rhen had turned her back.

  Ok then, it was time. The Haven, or the Ula.

  Evie closed her eyes but still felt no body to aim for…

  …

  …

  …

  A light, like a spotlight beam, slicing through the darkness, from the Ula to the Haven, shooting straight up past her, wrenching tears from her with its strength.

  Harlan’s love, so clear and strong she could see it, a steel cable of unwavering devotion.

  Evie closed her eyes and tipped forward into the light.

  40 - Unable to Do Anything But Run

  Harlan held Evie in his arms, standing in the middle of the room, waiting for her heart to stop beating. He could feel it, the pulse of blood through her body, pushing against him. Breath whooshed softly in and out of her lungs. The body was alive. For now.