They were on the bed, and she was in his arms, but the sexual tension had relaxed. He shrugged. “Yeah. I’ve finally decided that I’m leaving the army. I’m tired of war, tired of sending kids out to face God knows what. It wouldn’t matter whether I did it from the battlefield or a desk job in Georgia.”
He was purposely making her relax, taking them back to where they were earlier in the day. Friends.
It wasn’t entirely working with her, so she knew how hard it must be for him.
“Was it like this with...your ex-fiancé?” Her damn curiosity made the questions pop out. It was totally inappropriate, but she wanted to know.
“Which feelings are we talking about?” he asked.
“The lust part.”
He laughed until he choked. “God help me, I never know what you’re going to say next.”
She started to chuckle. It was a totally inappropriate thing to ask, but it lowered the tension, although that wasn’t her intent. She really had wanted to know. She realized she was jealous of that unknown woman, and she knew that her jealousy was ridiculous.
“No,” he said. “I can honestly say it was not like this. It was more civilized.”
“I’m not civilized?”
“Not entirely,” he said, leaning down to kiss her lightly on her mouth. “But I like it.” He paused. Then he said, “You’ve given me more than you know. In the past few days, I’ve discovered there’s more than the army. There are other things I want to do, but I didn’t know what direction to take. I’ve been thinking about what you said. About working with kids. I’m going to investigate the possibilities.”
Her hand tightened around his. “That makes me happy,” she said, and she meant it. “Isn’t it what you wanted years ago? Before you joined the army.” She paused and then added, “I watched you with Nick and Danny. You would make a great coach.”
The conversation relaxed her. His hand took hers. “I meant what I said, Jenny. I like you. A lot. I’ll not ask you to do something you’re not comfortable doing.”
She swallowed hard. “The problem is I would be comfortable, too comfortable. More than comfortable. But I’m afraid of hurting you...and me.” She felt tears forming in the back of her eyes. She had to escape the room before they spilled out.
“I should go,” she said. She grabbed her blouse and bra and walked to the door.
She closed it behind her. What a total idiot she was. What a mess.
She went into the bathroom and doused her face with cold water. She thought she heard the shower next door, or maybe it was just in her head.
Her body was on fire. She stepped into the shower and ran it cold.
After drying herself while shivering, she crawled into bed. Her body still craved what had been denied it.
Why had she run as she had? She wasn’t a virgin. She was an unattached grown-up. It was the fierceness of the desire that scared her. She’d never felt that before.
She’d been a coward. Plain and simple. She didn’t like that image of herself.
Was it because she feared losing her freedom? Or was that only an excuse to avoid any kind of meaningful relationship? Was it something deeper? Was she afraid to love because she didn’t trust it? Because she’d felt unloved by her family and didn’t really believe anyone could love her? She’d read enough about psychology to know it was a possibility.
Whatever it was, she knew she’d just run away. Again. It was unbearably painful. And probably very stupid.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
AFTER JENNY LEFT the room, Travis stared at the door for a long time, wanting to knock and continue what had almost started. Then he backed away. Why pursue something that had damn little chance of finishing satisfactorily?
But he ached. It had taken every smidgen of will power to stop the natural course of things. To sit there with her when his body was on fire.
He’d seen the agony in her eyes, though, and knew she was right. They couldn’t have a casual affair. And neither was ready for anything more.
He left the bed and sat in the uncomfortable motel chair and looked out over the parking lot.
Not a great view, but he was too tense to pick up the book she’d been looking at. He couldn’t sleep right now, not on the bed where Jenny had sat. She had so obviously wrestled between want and rationality. Just as he had.
It was just as well that her cautious side won out. He didn’t have protection—something he would remedy tomorrow. Just in case. It had been a long time since he’d needed it. He hadn’t wanted to expose himself to the dismay he’d seen in his ex-fiancé’s eyes.
Beautiful. He chuckled as Jenny’s exclamation re-created itself in his mind. With that one word, she wiped away Dinah’s initial reaction. He knew the scars hadn’t bothered Jenny, hadn’t turned her away. Maybe because she had one herself. But she was right. Her scar made no difference to him. If anything, they’d endeared her to him even more.
She’d obviously suffered a terrible wound, along with memories of that little girl. When she mentioned the nightmares in Covenant Falls, he’d thought it might be a ploy to go with him. Now he knew they were only too real. He also knew now that she detested revealing her vulnerabilities, and it had been a hard admission for her to make.
He should have known. There was damn little guile in her.
There was so much about her he didn’t know. He knew little about her family other than they apparently disapproved of her choices and not much more about other parts of her past. Had she been engaged? In love? Was that why she was so leery of relationships? What made her keep wandering?
He just knew that she made him feel alive again. That in mentioning those few minutes of tossing the ball with Josh’s stepson, Nick, she’d awakened something inside him. Excited him for the first time since his injuries. Reminded him of his adolescent goal to be a coach, to work with kids, to inspire kids as his high school coach had inspired him.
Maybe it took someone like Jenny to remind him of his old dream. He’d buried it for a long time, but now maybe he could revive it. Maybe it wasn’t too late.
Was he too old now? He was in his late thirties, and he felt much older. What would the requirements be? He decided to check it out on his iPad. He tried to tamp down a growing enthusiasm. He’d had a close relationship with his coach, who knew the problems he had at home. There had been missed practices when his father had wanted him at the farm, doing chores or taking care of his younger brother. The coach had allowed him to work around the requirements.
He did a search for requirements for high school coaches in Colorado, although he had no idea where he would head next. Requirements were probably similar in most states.
A bachelor’s degree. Apparently, any would do for coaching only. A teacher’s certification would be required for any teaching duties.
Worth investigating. Maybe he would call Josh tomorrow and ask what he thought of the idea and if he knew of any possibilities in the area.
He got into bed. They would have a long day tomorrow. First the session with Dr. Payne, and then a long drive through Texas.
Hours in a closed space with Jenny. When they started the journey, he’d thought the hours together would cure him, that they would get on each other’s nerves. They hadn’t. The initial attraction had, instead, intensified.
He doubted he was going to get much sleep that night. He closed his eyes and tried counting horses jumping over fences. Sheep just weren’t going to cut it tonight.
* * *
JENNY HAD EXPERIENCED a restless night. It had taken some time before her emotions settled down, even after doing her shoulder exercises with the darn rod.
She felt like a fool for running away.
She’d fled his room because her feelings for him were frightening in their intensity. Even now she could barely wait to see him, to watch those very sexy lips curve into tha
t slow smile that could charm a dragon.
To keep her mind off him, she thought about Anna at the ranch and her big brown eyes. She remembered Karen’s words that older dogs were difficult to place in homes. What if she never found one?
And Charlie of the tender heart would fall in love with her. The thought relaxed her. She finally drifted off and woke up to rays of sunlight creeping into her room.
At 7:00 a.m., she sat on the edge of the bed and wondered if it was too early to call Karen. She didn’t think so. With all those dogs to look after, she probably rose early.
Jenny had put Karen’s number on her cell phone before leaving the night before and now she called her.
Karen answered after a few rings.
“Hello,” Jenny said. “This is Jenny Talbot. I hope I didn’t call you too early.”
“No, not at all. I’m always up by six.”
“I thought so.” Jenny paused. “I was wondering if...maybe I could adopt Anna.”
There was a long silence, and her heart dropped. “Don’t you travel a lot?” Karen said.
“I’m staying with my sister, Lenore, and her daughter. My niece, Charlie, loves animals. She’s always wanted a dog. I checked with Lenore last night, and she thinks it’s a great idea.” Jenny paused. “She’s a real estate agent and is at home most of the time for Charlie.” She hurried on. “Anna would have a wonderful home, even when I’m on the road.”
Another hesitation. “How would you get her there?”
“She could go with Travis and me,” she said, crossing her fingers. “We can stop by after talking to Dr. Payne. Probably around 1:00 p.m. or so.”
“You’ve had experience with dogs before?”
“Yes,” Jenny lied. It was in a good cause. For Charlie, her sister and Anna.
“You’ll have to sign papers, taking responsibility, and promise to return her if for some reason it doesn’t work out. There’s also an adoption fee. It helps take care of the shots and medical examination.”
“Of course,” Jenny said. “How much?”
“A hundred dollars.”
“That’s fine. I would like to donate, as well, to your dogs for vets program.”
“I’ll expect you after lunch,” Karen said.
Jenny said goodbye and hung up before Karen asked more questions.
She sat down and wondered how she was going to broach the subject with Travis and convince him to add another passenger to the trip.
She washed up and put on some jeans and a T-shirt.
She knocked on the adjoining door. No one answered, so she grabbed her key and headed for the breakfast room. She was in sore need of a hefty cup of black coffee.
Travis was already sitting at a table, eating a waffle. She looked around. It was the same waffle machine that was at the other motel. “The dining room is only open from noon on,” Travis explained. He was very matter-of-fact, as if nothing had happened last night. Had he felt the same thunderous feelings as she had?
“You should have knocked on my door,” she said.
“I didn’t want to wake you. I figured you would know I would be here.”
“I didn’t have the same thoughtfulness,” she replied, miffed. “I pounded on your door.” She went to the counter for coffee before sitting with him.
“You’re quiet this morning,” he observed after a few moments.
“I have a problem,” she announced.
“Want to share it?”
“I want to adopt Anna.”
It took him a minute to comprehend, and then he raised one of his eyebrows.
“Anna?” he said after a few seconds.
“The little black dog at Karen’s house,” she said.
“The one that liked your lap? At least she’s smart.” He stared at her. “But what is a roving reporter going to do with a dog?” he asked.
“I’m staying with my sister who has a condo in Denver. She said she would look after Anna when I’m traveling. She has a daughter—my niece—who has always wanted a dog. She’s serious and responsible and would take great care of her.”
“Is that the call you made last night before you came to my room?”
She should have guessed he would have remembered that. He seemed to remember everything. “Yes,” she admitted.
“You didn’t say anything then.” His eyes were cool, his voice flat.
“I wanted to talk to Karen first. I called her this morning. She agreed.” Jenny couldn’t hide the triumph in her voice.
“Have you ever had a dog?” he asked with that darn raised eyebrow again.
“No,” she replied honestly. “But I know they require a lot of care.”
“Why that dog?” he asked. “There’s thousands out there that need a home.”
“I don’t know.” But she did. Anna came to her. Anna had picked her. She didn’t know why that was so important, but it was.
“What about our trip?” he said logically. “You can’t leave her in the car, even for a few minutes, because of the heat. And I thought you wanted to learn about the programs. You can’t do that while watching a dog.”
She knew all that. She felt they could find a way, but it was his car. His trip. His mission. She was here on sufferance. If she was honest with herself, and she usually tried to be, she’d placed him in a difficult position.
“I thought about that. Alternatively, I can ask Karen if she can keep Anna for a few weeks until I can get back or make some kind of arrangements.” Jenny knew it was iffy. She didn’t know when she could drive again, and she’d heard too many horror stories of dogs being injured, lost or dying while transported by planes to consider that.
“If you don’t mind,” she asked gingerly, “can we drop by Karen’s so I can talk to her about it, sign papers, pay the fee so she knows I’m serious?”
He nodded, his gaze not wavering from her face. “It’s on our way out of town.”
It was not the helpful, enthusiastic response she’d hoped for. She stood, not wanting to show her disappointment. She went to one of the tables and selected a few pieces of fruit and a bagel and returned to the table. The bagel was dry, the fruit overripe. She played around with it but couldn’t eat.
Last night, the prospect of adopting Anna seemed so clear; now she saw the points she’d missed.
She didn’t usually do that. The story had always been the most important objective in her life, and right now the story was the equine therapy programs. So why was she becoming so emotionally needy, first with Travis and then with the dog? She’d never been that way before. Maybe the shrapnel ripped away the shield she’d constructed around her heart.
“I’d best get back to the room,” she said with her brightest smile. “I want to wash some clothes and dry them on your back seat if that’s okay.”
“They have a washer and dryer here,” he said. “I have some clothes in there now. You have plenty of time. We don’t need to leave until ten thirty.”
“I’ll do that then,” she said. “Do I need change for the machine?”
“No, it’s a freebie. Apparently many of their guests are service families here for ceremonies, to greet soldiers returning from, or leaving for, deployments. Their stays tend to be longer than a night or two.” He paused and then added, “The dryer is down the corridor to the pool.”
She nodded and turned toward the door so her face wouldn’t show her disappointment.
When she reached her room, she walked in and leaned against the wall. The warmth she and Travis had shared last night had faded. Walls had gone up on both sides. He was right about Anna. It was impractical. She’d known it, but the last two days had been so magical, she’d thought nothing was impossible.
She was, though, going to get Anna. If she had to hire someone to drive the dog to Denver, she would.
Remember the story, she r
eminded herself. That was what was important.
* * *
TRAVIS WATCHED THE light fade from Jenny’s face as he’d punched holes in her proposal. It simply wasn’t workable.
It was September. The air was cooler now, but some days, particularly in West Texas, New Mexico and Arizona, could be extremely hot. No way could they leave a dog in the car, not even for a few minutes.
Dammit. For some reason, that dog had become important to Jenny. Was it because Anna had been alone in the corner before making a beeline for Jenny? He’d already recognized that she was drawn to underdogs, human or animal. It had been clear in some of the articles she’d written. Hell, he was no psychologist. He just knew some of the light went out in those eyes, and he felt responsible.
But a dog? Dammit, it wasn’t practical. They would be stopping overnight at two of the ranches. Most ranchers had dogs of their own and may not welcome a canine interloper.
But, like Karen, he’d noticed the sudden attachment between Jenny and the dog, as well as Anna’s determination to go with her.
He also thought of Jenny’s years of wandering. Maybe she needed to be needed more than she knew. As strong and competent as she was, perhaps that was a part of her she’d refused to recognize.
He could call and ask the destination ranches whether it would be acceptable to bring a dog with them.
He looked at his watch. It was a few minutes before eight. He had three hours before their appointment at Fort Hood.
He picked up his laundry and headed for his room. He made calls to each of the ranches on his schedule. None objected to a tagalong dog. Two said their young children would be delighted.
It was after nine before he finished the last call. He stepped back into the hallway and knocked on her door.
The door opened. Jenny stood in front of him in bare feet. Wet curls framed her face. No makeup. She was in a well-worn shirt that reached past her hips. She looked...irresistible. “I’ve just washed some clothes and was about to take them to the dryer,” she said.
“You can dry them in the car.”
She gave him a quizzical look.
The Soldier's Homecoming Page 20