With her mouth half open, Baiyun stared at Dagong. She couldn’t believe her eyes how this soft spoken man could be such a confident speaker. She jumped up and down cheering for him. Among this excited crowd of students, she found friends, solidarity, and home. At this moment, her mother’s warning, her eagerness to go abroad and leaving home had all disappeared. She felt that she was so proud to be here, to be part of this exciting movement.
Longfe stood on a wooden stool and continued, “In the last few years, the corrupted officials robbed our people and created disturbance in our society. Isn’t it the time to change our country and its leadership?”
“Yes!” The crowded shouted.
“Do you think the officials who benefit from the corruption, and all others who take the advantage of lawlessness, will be qualified to lead us to a better society?”
“No.”
“So we as students have the responsibilities. Hu Yaobang is dead, and we have begun a student movement. Are we trying to create turmoil and chaos in society, as the government always accuses us of doing?”
“No.”
“But whenever we march, we stop the buses and disturb the pedestrians on the streets. Should we change the way we protest?” asked Longfe.
“We should.”
A new world appeared in front of Baiyun. She didn’t know what it was yet. But it was becoming clearer and clearer.
“Should we go and have some dinner?” Dagong awakened Baiyun from her ruminating.
“Sure. Let’s go to the #2 cafeteria.” Baiyun led the way.
As they were walking toward the cafeteria among many students on bicycles and foot, they ran into some of Baiyun’s friends. She briefly introduced Dagong and said he was a friend she met in the last march. Her friends smiled and didn’t ask any questions as though rumors had already flown around.
In the cafeteria, Baiyun bought a stirred-fried bok choy with Tofu while Dagong purchased an egg dish, two boiled eggs in soy sauce. They found a table and sat on benches across from each other. The cafeteria was noisy with many people coming in and going. Some students rushed in with a bundle of big-letter posters under their arms. Some Beijing citizens walked in to enjoy a slice of college life. It was like a county fair without animals.
“I thought you went to college. Did you say that you had a degree in physics when you took Yumei and I home from Tiananmen Square?” asked Baiyun.
“Yes. But that was 1975, which was in the middle of the Cultural Revolution. So it is not a real college education. You know that. We went to college to reeducate professors, not to gain knowledge, which is why I’m still a technician.” Dagong talked while chewing because he couldn’t wait to answer Baiyun.
“So you had a chance to go to a real college but got turned down due to your family background?”
“Yes. In 1965, I was 18 years old and a straight A student. Every college in the country had rejected my application including Beijing University.” Dagong’s voice was getting hoarse. Baiyun could feel his sorrow even though it had happened many years ago.
“What is your bad family background?” Baiyun became very curious now.
“My father was a dead capitalist businessman and my mother died right after I was born. I was raised by my aunt who passed away twenty two years ago right after the Cultural Revolution just started and after I was sent to Inner Mongolia for reeducation.”
She realized that Dagong was as old as Meiling’s former boyfriend Uncle Weiming with whom she was deeply in love all throughout her childhood. And then he disappeared forever which left a void in her heart ever since.
Baiyun stared at Dagong with her eyes moist. She was out of words.
“What’s the matter? Too sad?”
“No. I have suffered, too as a result of the Cultural Revolution. My father died in the labor camp during the Cultural Revolution and my mother had many boyfriends living with us. My classmates used to treat me badly because my father was a professor and my mother had a taste for younger men.” Baiyun couldn’t believe she had lied about her father being dead. But who would believe her if she told the truth to anyone, especially Dagong, a fresh new friend. If she did, he would think she was crazy to put up with that family. He would never talk to her anymore. So a lie was essential now and he would not find out as long as she didn’t invite him to her apartment. If the situation lent itself, she would deal with it then.
“What? Younger men? Wow. It must be very hard to live with them.”
“Not really. Sometimes it was fun. They liked to have parties except when one of them fell in love with me.”
“Really? Did your mother break up with him? Why didn’t you elope with him? It sounds like something I would read in a fiction.” Dagong stared at Baiyun in utter astonishment.
“Of course, not. I never did tell him I loved him, too. Besides, he could be thrown in jail for courting a minor and he had enough troubles himself already.”
“What trouble?”
“His father was a dead businessman.”
“Just like me. I know what is like being a dead businessman’s son, which means you can’t have the life you want to live and the girl you want to love.”
“Exactly. So mother broke up with him and kicked him out of my apartment. Then I never get to see him again.” Tears slowly rolled down on Baiyun’s oval face. She was surprised she could shed a few tears while telling Dagong this ancient story. She wiped it off with her shirtsleeves and forced a smile at Dagong.
“Let’s take a walk in campus, which might cheer you up. I hear music. It must be a concert.” Dagong stood up and tried to pull Baiyun up.
“Sure. Let’s go.” Baiyun wiped her face quickly and followed Dagong.
People rushed by them as they were walking toward where the music was. Some even carried their own wooden chairs or stools.
“A concert by Cui Jian!” People yelled while running. “It is in front of the Library.”
“Cui Jian? Who is he?” Dagong sounded really interested in.
“He is a famous rock & roll singer. He comes here on campus every week. At least, he is very famous here,” said Baiyun proudly.
“If he is famous here, he would be famous all over China soon.”
“As usual, Beida is the center of the rebellion.”
“Or the center of the renovation.”
“It is the same thing however you put it,” said Baiyun. She felt so much happier now. A good piece of music could either make people cry or cheer them up. “If you keep coming here, who know what would become of you.”
“You are right,” said Dagong looking into the crowd. “Let’s hurry so we can get good seats?” He grabbed Baiyun’s hand and started galloping.
As they approached the library where the concert was, it was harder to walk. They could see people standing and waving their arms.
“I guess standing seats only,” said Dagong.
“We would be lucky if we can see anything at all. But you can since you are tall.” Baiyun was a little disappointed.
“Finally being tall is useful. Not just a Big Dumb Guy. I can carry you on my shoulder if you want.”
“No. I would tip and fall into the sea of people since I’m so clumsy,” said Baiyun even though she wondered what would be like if Dagong carried her on his shoulders. “Can you see anything?” Baiyun asked.
“Yes. He is blinded-folded with a piece of red cloth.”
“I hear people humming, ‘A Piece of Red Cloth’. It must be the song,” said Baiyun.
“The lights are blinding so that’s why he is blind-fold. I worry about him. I hope he wouldn’t fall off the stage.” Dagong narrated. “He is playing a trumpet now. He is like Mozart and can play an instrument blind-folded. He has dancers on stage dressed in tiger skin suits and doing tiger walk.”
“I’m envious you can see everything and I can’t.” No matter how hard Baiyun tried to tiptoe, she still couldn’t see much. All she could see was tips of people’s arms stretching to the sky and t
he hair on their wobbling heads.
“Can you carry me?” Dagong didn’t answer. He was too engrossed in the concert. “Can you carry me?” Baiyun poked Dagong on the ribs.
“Oh. Sure.” He squatted down and let Baiyun climb to his shoulders. With some effort, he stood up. Baiyun screamed. Her body wobbled and she discovered that she was afraid of height. She held Dagong’s neck tightly in order not to fall into the sea of people and what was going on stage had transfixed her.
The red cloth on Cui Jian’s face was gone. Wearing a white baseball hat, a plaid shirt and a pair of kakis, he looked dreamy on stage among the artificial clouds and the tiger skinned dancers. At the end of the song, Baiyun shouted “Bravo” along with many others around her. She stared into the distance and could almost see her voice traveling over many black-haired heads bouncing back and forth. People around her looked at her in admiration. She had never felt so tall and so confidant. The shyness had totally disappeared as though an alien had inhibited her and taken control of her brain. With the help of the surrounding people, she came down at the end of the concert.
They held hands and walked back toward Baiyun’s dormitory where Dagong’s bicycle was parked.
“It is so much fun that I don’t feel guilty for not studying TOFEL tonight,” said Baiyun. She couldn’t stop smiling while skipping forward. Dagong had to walk fast to catch up with her.
“Like an old Chinese saying, there is no never-ending party. I will go back to my apartment and study TOFEL,” said Dagong. His face was rather solemn.
“You are right. We should go back to TOFEL study instead of partying all night,” agreed Baiyun as a good and responsible student.
“Even though partying all night would be great!” said Dagong.
“You are too old to party all night,” said Baiyun teasingly.
“Hey, you never know what an old guy like me can do.” Dagong stopped now. They had reached Baiyun’s dormitory. On the side of the building beside the entrance, Dagong held Baiyun by the waist and pulled her toward him. Baiyun’s heart was beating faster. What was he going to do? For some reason she knew. She moved her head closer staring at him with her two innocent brown eyes waiting for his lips to reach hers. A sound startled her.
“Hi, guys.” It was Yumei’s voice.
“Hi, Yumei.” Baiyun quickly moved away from Dagong.
“Oh, sorry. Have fun.” Yumei quickly walked into the dormitory door.
“Well, she stole our kiss,” said Dagong. “I need to go now. It will take me a while to get home.” He held Baiyun’s hands staring into her eyes. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then turned away.
Baiyun was standing in the dark feeling lost. How much she wished he would give her a long kiss. Yet she knew it might be too fast and too rushed. She needs to go to bed.
Chapter 6
At 2:00am on April 25th, Dagong arrived home after an hour and half bicycle ride. He pushed the squeaky gate to the four-corner yard open and saw someone sitting there smoking. As he walked closer, he realized he was Lao Liu with a cat lying next to him. OMG, Dagong said to himself. He wished that not a single soul in this yard had witnessed his coming home this late or this early. He somehow didn’t want to explain. He knew some day he had to explain to Baiyun he was married so he couldn’t marry her even though he was deeply in love with her. Of course, he didn’t have to tell Lao Liu about this.
“Lao Liu, why are you still awake, day dreaming?” Dagong tried to be humorous.
“Dagong? You are late, wild man,” said Lao Liu as though being awoken from a nap.
“Why are you still awake, dead man?”
“Wow, you are getting naughty, too. I guess it’s good for you. You used to be the dead man in this yard. Now I’m it. At least my flowers are alive.” Lao Liu stroked the cat. The cat turned around and seemed to enjoy it.
Dagong sat down next to Lao Liu and lit a cigarette.
“Zhang Ping has been looking for you this evening. She wanted to find you in Tiananmen Square. I told her that it was impossible to find someone there. After the memorial service of Hu Yaobang, so many people were hanging around the Tiananmen Square. It was like a county fair in giant scale. She didn’t believe me. Then I told her I had seen you talking to the students. She screamed and ran into your apartment sobbing. So be careful. If I were you, I would spend the night here in the yard,” said Lao Liu as he lit another cigarette.
“What happened to you? Have you gotten kicked out of your apartment, too for falling in love with your roses?” Dagong made a face.
Lao Liu didn’t answer for a while. Yes it was not quiet. The sound of water dripping down by the laundry hanging from the ropes in front of every apartment could be heard. The crickets and cicadas were chirping, celebrating the late spring night. Even some loud snoring could be heard through the paper-thin windows.
Of course, really loud shouting would soon drown this noise. A door was slammed open. Mrs. Wang was chasing Mr. Wang out.
“Where did you go today after work?” Mrs. Wang shouted. She wore a torn T-shirt and pair of holey shorts. Her long hair was disheveled. She waved a shoe in her right hand.
“I went to Tiananmen Square to see what’s going on?” Mr. Wang tried to run fast. “Be quiet or you will wake up everyone.”
“I don’t care. Do you know it is dangerous there?”
“Dangerous? I think it is safer than with you at home.” He opened the gate and wandered out.
“Ok. I don’t care where you go now. But tomorrow I want you come home after work before going off to some crazy political demonstration.” Mrs. Wang followed him to the gate and yelled to the darkness.
Dagong stared at Lao Liu and shook his head, and then waved at Mrs. Wang who was still breathing heavily from anger.
“Come and have a cigarette,” said Dagong.
“Sure. I need one.” Mrs. Wang sat down and started crying. “What am I going to do? We have four kids.” Her cigarette went out right away and she had to have Dagong light it again for her.
“Don’t worry. He will come home. Where would he go otherwise? He loves the boys. When did he come home today?” said Dagong. But in his mind, he could see Zhang Ping’s anxious face as she was asking about his where about.
“Eleven! What do you think he was doing?” Mrs. Wang calmed down a little.
“He might have been walking around at Tiananmen Square watching Poetry reading or a Rock & Roll concert or maybe he went over to a college to work with students.” Dagong was getting self-conscious.
“Whom are you talking about? Do you think that sounds like my husband? He goes to work and he comes home. He has never been interested in anything else. All of sudden, you think he has joined the prodemocracy movement? Is that absurd? I think he is seeing a woman.” Mrs. Wang whipped her long hair to her back and took a deep drag on her cigarette.
“I don’t know. The country is changing and people are changing.” Dagong turned to Lao Liu. “Hey. Why are you so quiet? Sleeping? Where do you think Mr. Wang has been going after work?”
Silence. Dagong tried to push him. “Hey, if you don’t answer, I will push you into the fish pound.”
“Ha….” Mrs. Wang started laughing hysterically while pounding the bare brick she was sitting on. “A dead cop in the fish pond. What a lovely sight! The government will have to send a new policeman to watch us here.”
“Stop. You will wake up everyone.” Lao Liu all of sudden opened his eyes.
“Ok. You don’t want me here. I’m leaving. I hear one of my boys crying.” Mrs. Wang got up, tripped on a gap between bricks in the yard, steadied herself, and walked quickly into her apartment.
Dagong could imagine Zhang Ping pushing down the door and charging toward him with a knife in her hand. Her face looked red with fangs. He knew that he was in hot water or would be in deep trouble if he kept going to Beijing University and “running” into Baiyun. But he couldn’t imagine not seeing her now. Life is short. If he is ready to take risks
in his life, now is the time, he told himself. If Zhang Ping kicked him out, he would just pitch a tent in the square.
Lao Liu lit a new cigarette. “That was a nice nap.”
“Are you awake? Where do you think Mr. Wang has been hanging out in the last few days?”
“The reason I didn’t say anything was I knew where he had been going,” said Lao Liu rather seriously.
“Where?” Dagong was getting very curious.
“He has been taking pictures of protestors for the police. I saw him in the official video. You see that’s why I didn’t say anything. We have a spy here. We have a spy in our yard.” Lao Liu was so angry that he stood up and started pacing. “You have to go to Beijing University tomorrow and tell them to be careful, Ok. I would like to get him arrested but you know I can’t. He is on the government side. Maybe I will have a chance in the future.”
“Ok. I will go to Beijing University tomorrow and tell them this. But I don’t think they would stop doing what they are doing. I hear that they are planning a march to Tiananmen Square soon to commemorate the May 4th student movement in two weeks. They are still trying to have a dialogue with the government and so far the government refuses their demands. They may have a protest march for that in a couple of days. I’m a worker’s representative for the Beijing Student Solidary Federation. I will go back there tomorrow to organize that,” said Dagong rather enthusiastically.
“You really like this movement, I can tell.” Then Lao Liu turned toward Dagong and looked at him in the eye. “Why? Why are you so brave this time? Who woke you up? Who brought you to life?”
“The students. I like them and I like freedom. Have you been to Tiananmen Square recently and looked around? Poetry readings, Rock & Roll concerts, acrobat performances and tarot card readings. People are enjoying themselves. Democracy has been around the west for several centuries and more than two hundred years in the United States. Do you think it is about time for it to shine its light here? It’s definitely not traveling at the speed of light. If so, it would have been here a long time ago.” Dagong stood up as though he was practicing a speech.
Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square Page 7