“Heard what?”
Sarah’s mouth quivered. “I’m really sorry, Jake. I saw it on my Telly right before I got here and I thought you knew. I’m so sorry, I know how badly you wanted to be president. This is all my fault.”
Jacob’s face felt fuzzy. He didn’t like the way she was talking about his campaign in the past tense. “What do you mean ‘wanted to be president’?”
Sarah stared at the ground. “Well, you know after I called Catalina an A-word, and after that stupid traitor dumped me from the campaign, Mick went and gave a speech talking about the ‘Earth Menace’ and how dangerous Earth is to Astrals. I know he doesn’t mean it and is just trying to get Astrals all riled up, but it worked. People got really upset, talking about how Earth is going to go to war with Astrals.
“And then…” She wiped her eyes and cleared her voice. “Then he announced a new rule, which he had pushed through the Election Council.”
Jacob’s heart was racing. “What rule?” he asked.
Sarah sighed. “Earthers aren’t allowed to run for president. No one is going to be allowed to vote for you. He stole the election.”
Jacob leaned back slowly and lay down on the ground, staring at the sky. It wasn’t happening. It couldn’t possibly be happening. He felt sick, exhausted, and drained. Everything he had worked for. All those campaign events and speeches and interviews. All for nothing. Mick had done it in just a few hours. He had outsmarted him, and all of Jacob’s efforts were in vain.
He had come so far. After Sarah’s gaffe he really thought he was going to win. He had pulled pranks and eaten corndogs and was about to win fair and square. He had made Astrals get to know him, and even made them think he was one of them.
Of course Mick would stack the deck against him. Mick couldn’t win on his own, so he had to cheat.
He felt Sarah’s hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jake.”
What are we going to do?” Dexter asked.
They were sitting aboard Praiseworthy flying aimlessly through space while they tried to figure out where to go and what they could possibly do about the situation. Catalina didn’t think it was likely that they would be able to sway the Election Council, and an appeal to the king would be futile because he had already handed control over to the council. Jacob figured there was only one possibility remaining.
“Catalina should take my place,” Jacob said. “I’ll be a special adviser or something. She’s an Astral, she can be president.”
Catalina smiled. “That’s really sweet, Jacob, but I don’t want to be president. That would be so boring. I want to be a princess.”
Jacob gritted his teeth. “Catalina, you are really smart. You could be president. Don’t you want to be something? You’d rather just let your brother win than try and be your own person?”
Catalina shook her head. “Jacob, darling, I’m not one of those people who doesn’t realize how good she has it. Being a princess is wonderful.”
“But how are you going to be princess if Mick is president? He’s getting rid of the whole monarchy. Isn’t it time to give up the princess thing?”
Catalina shook her head again and tried to look confident, but Jacob sensed she was questioning herself. “Oh, well. I… I know how to take care of my brother. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
Jacob rolled his eyes. It didn’t make any sense. It seemed like she was in total denial that her old life of tea parties and crowns was coming to an end.
“At least I got to spend time with you, darling!” she said. “How are we going to get married someday if we don’t get to know each other?”
Jacob looked over at Sarah Daisy, whose face was bright red and who looked capable of extreme violence.
“So I guess this is it then,” Jacob said.
Jacob’s Telly buzzed to life. He looked at it, and when he saw who it was, he felt like he was going to faint.
“It’s the king.”
“The king? Really?!” Dexter said.
“The king is calling you?!” Sarah asked.
“He’s sending me an invite to talk at the palace.”
“Answer it, silly!” Catalina said. “And tell Daddy I say hello!”
Jacob took a deep breath and said, “Accept” and felt his mind whisked away to Planet Royale. He found himself in the garden with the king, who was staring at a fountain and was dressed in bright red robes. There was a light rain falling and the king didn’t seem to mind, but Jacob found it very strange to be standing in the rain without feeling the raindrops or getting wet at all.
“Hello, Jacob,” the king said.
“Hi,” Jacob managed to say, looking around the garden.
The king stared at Jacob for a while and then said, “Have you ever wondered why Astrals like you so much?”
Jacob furrowed his brow. “Um… No?”
“You came into the election at an enormous disadvantage, given the skepticism Astrals have about people from Earth. And yet you made an impressive comeback, particularly given your… slow start. Why do you think that was?”
Jacob had been so consumed by the campaign that he hadn’t even really thought about it that much. “Well,” he said. “I guess I realized at some point that I needed to be myself and trust my instincts. And that even if I was going to lose I should at least just get that one thing right. That started working.”
The king looked impressed. “Quite right,” he said. “Quite right. Though sometimes even one’s best isn’t enough, is it?”
Jacob didn’t know how to answer that, and the king turned and walked away. Jacob followed, and they arrived at a statue of a spaceship. The king stared at it for a moment before turning back to Jacob. “I suppose you’ve heard about the rule that bars Earthers from running for office. What do you plan to do about it?”
Jacob hadn’t thought there was anything he could do about it, but since the king asked, he started thinking. “I guess I can try to get it overturned. Or maybe steal your time machine and go back and stop Sarah from saying the A-word.”
The king smiled. “That’s what I thought you’d say. But Jacob, I don’t think the situation calls for that type of a solution.”
Jacob waited for the king to tell him he could just go back to his life on Earth. To let him down easy, tell him that it was a good run and that he was proud of him. A part of him would have found it a terrific relief for the king to just say that Jacob had done well, but there was nothing he could do and everything was over. Even the king didn’t have power in the new era, so it was time to go home. But another part was mad that Mick was taking away the Astrals’ first chance to choose their leader instead of inheriting one. It was going to be Mick Cracken or nothing. Mick had seen to that.
“Jacob, the new rule says that no Earther can be president.”
Jacob nodded.
“But you’re not an Earther. Well, not entirely.”
Jacob felt his entire body go numb. Of course he was an Earther! He grew up on Earth and his parents were… He stopped his train of thought and thought about his father and the strange postcard and the pipe he had found on Planet Paisley and how Jacob had always suspected that his father might actually be lost in outer space. If Jacob wasn’t “entirely” an Earther, that meant…
“Jacob, you are half Astral. And you are still very eligible for this election.”
Just two Earth days later, Jacob found himself competing in the third Battle Supreme. The final battle was administered at the sole discretion of the king, who had given away no hints of what he had in store for Jacob and Mick.
Jacob had barely gotten used to the fact that he was still in the race, and he was incredibly furious at Mick, who had reached new depths of dirty deeds and bad sportsmanship, even by Mick’s extremely low moral standards.
But Jacob knew he had to focus on winning the last battle. It was anybody’s election to win, particularly since Astrals had taken very kindly to the announcement that Jacob was partly one of them. Mick was clinging to the nar
rowest of leads in the polls.
The king stood up from his throne and the room hushed. Jacob detected just a hint of melancholy in the king’s demeanor, but he still held himself with his usual confident and regal bearing.
“Welcome, everyone, to the third Battle Supreme. Before we begin, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for bestowing on me the honor of leading such a wonderful community of space humans for all these years. I have no reservations whatsoever about leaving Astrals in the care of one of these two fine young men. There can, of course, be only one winner, but I have every confidence that whichever of them you choose to lead you will do so with honor and dignity. Thank you, thank you, everyone.”
Jacob immediately stood up and clapped, and others in the room followed suit. After a moment, Mick grudgingly stood up and clapped as well.
“Thank you,” the king said, and Jacob noted a new glint in his eye. “Now, you are all probably wondering what we have in store for the last Battle Supreme. Well, it is quite simple. I want Jacob and Mick to show us which of them wants to be president the most.”
There was a murmur in the crowd. Jacob glared at Mick, who met his eyes and smirked.
“They say that where a man’s treasure lies, there you’ll find his heart. Michaelus Crackenarium, the physical object you value the most is your spaceship, Mick Jr.”
The smile on Mick’s face waned. Jacob knew he hated to hear the sound of his real name.
“Jacob Wonderbar, the physical object you value the most is your grandfather’s pipe.”
The king snapped his fingers, and images of both objects were projected onto two large screens. “These are live recordings. I have rigged the spaceship Mick Jr. and the Wonderbar pipe with explosives.”
The king handed small handheld devices to both Jacob and Mick. “And these are the triggers to the explosives. The first candidate to blow up their prized possession will show us that they want to win this election more than their opponent. The third Battle Supreme starts now.”
At that, the king sat down.
“What?” Jacob gulped.
“Whoa,” he heard Dexter say in the audience.
It couldn’t be true. The king really wanted him to destroy his dad’s pipe? Jacob had so many memories about that pipe, and now that he knew his dad really was an Astral, it meant more to him than ever. It had belonged to his grandfather, an imposing man Jacob’s dad had said was German, but Jacob realized in his flash that the reason his grandfather had had a faint accent must have been because he was an Astral. The pipe was Jacob’s connection to space and to his Astral heritage, and no matter how much he wanted to win the election, and no matter how frustrated and disappointed he was by his father, that pipe was bound up with so many emotions and memories and mysteries. His mom didn’t take many pictures when he was growing up, and there wasn’t any trace of his father left. He couldn’t bear to press the trigger on the one thing he had left that belonged to his dad. It might as well have been a choice to blow up his own father.
He glanced over at Mick Cracken, who was clearly doing some soul-searching of his own. A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. Jacob knew Mick loved that ship more than anything, and after Jacob had defaced it, Mick had used the time in the shop to not only restore it to perfection, but to add still more enhancements.
Neither of them wanted to destroy the object they prized the most, but Jacob had a feeling that Mick would go first.
And when he thought about it, Jacob had to admit that Mick probably did want to win the election more than he did. Mick wanted it more than anything in the entire universe. He had been the one to convince the king to have elections, and he had been thinking about and preparing for the election for his entire life. The more Jacob thought about it, he realized there was no doubt about which one of them wanted it more. It was definitely Mick.
But then an image of Earth popped into his head. Could he really be so selfish that he wouldn’t blow up a pipe when it meant saving his planet?
Jacob didn’t know what to do, but he knew he had to trust his heart. He could lose the battle and still win the election. He had to be himself.
Mick held up the trigger, and Jacob heard him whisper, “Three… two…”
“Stop!” Jacob shouted. He threw his trigger away so there was no doubt about his intentions. “Don’t do it.”
The room silenced, and Mick paused.
“There’s no need to blow up your spaceship. You want this more than I do. I’m forfeiting this battle. You win this one. But just this one.”
Mick raised his fist in triumph and basked in the applause, and the sight of Mick Cracken’s patented smirk almost made Jacob run over and blow up Mick Jr. himself. After a few moments of gloating, Mick suddenly realized something and said, “If anyone tells Mick Jr. about this, I will have you arrested when I’m president.”
“I’m still going to win,” Jacob snapped.
The king stepped up to the platform and signaled for attention. “Splendid show, candidates, splendid show. However, I must remind Candidate Wonderbar that it isn’t within his rights to forfeit this battle, as I am the sole and final judge. And I haven’t yet had my say.”
Jacob wasn’t sure where the king was going with his speech, and from the murmuring throughout the room, he could tell he wasn’t alone.
“In my experience, the best leaders are not the ones who desire power the most, who crave attention, or who most want to be in charge. Leading isn’t about winning, it is about doing what is right. The best leaders are humble, selfless, and wise. They might not even really want to be leaders in the first place. This Battle Supreme was a test of the challengers’ humility. I intended all along to reward the candidate who wanted to win the least, because the less you want to be a leader, the better leader you shall be.”
The king paused.
“And therefore I declare Jacob Wonderbar the winner of the third Battle Supreme.”
Sarah, Dexter, and Catalina screamed their applause. The rest of the room started speaking at once in confusion.
Mick slammed the trigger to the ground, and yelled, “I hate you!” at his father. The room quieted. Once again, Jacob had seen the king step on the dreams of his own son, and even though he was grateful for the victory, Jacob was beginning to wonder if the king was as fair and good as he had once thought. It seemed like a trick designed solely to humiliate Mick Cracken.
Even though he had just won the third Battle Supreme and the presidency was tantalizingly close, Jacob couldn’t help but feel a little bit bad for Mick.
As Jacob finished up his speech laying out his vision for a new Astral nation that was at peace with Earth, it felt surreal knowing that he was at his last campaign event. It was the night before the election, and he had come so far. He’d been gone for two Earth weeks, and the next day he would either be voted president of the universe or… nothing.
Leader in charge of everything that exists, the first president in Astral history… or just another seventh grader at Magellan Middle School.
He tried picturing the future, and it was like there were two screens, one where the Astrals voted him president and he lived on Planet Royale and passed laws and was the most important and powerful person alive. And then on the other screen was homework and school and substitute teachers and chores and other drudgery, but also more time with his mom and Sarah Daisy and Dexter Goldstein, and shooting hoops until it got dark and laughing at the movies and summer vacations doing whatever he wanted.
Jacob stared out at the crowd that had gathered on Planet Royale to hear him speak, and he just felt so tired. He found Sarah in the crowd, and when they locked eyes he remembered their conversation before they blasted off.
“What if you win?” she had asked.
What if you win?
What if you are in charge of every planet and every person everywhere? What if you can’t sleep at night because you’re thinking about the hungry people out there and the sad people and the hurt peopl
e and the ones who want to blow up planets because they’re crazy and they’re all your responsibility? What if you never have time for fun and your friends and relaxing and everyone is constantly criticizing you because they think they could do your job better?
What if you win?
Jacob did his final waves to the crowd and ducked backstage. He stood in a corner and put his face in his hands and tried to make sense of what he was feeling. The room was a tangled mess of activity, but Jacob just wanted to disappear. Boris was scurrying around pushing people and checking badges to make sure everyone was authorized to be in the room, Dexter was teaching Rufus how to do a cartwheel, and Catalina swooped over to give Jacob a hug.
“Darling, that was amazing! I think it was your best speech yet! I agree that Astrals shouldn’t be scared of Earth! I did some research, and you even have some passable fashion designers.”
“Thanks,” Jacob mumbled.
Over Catalina’s shoulder, Jacob saw Sarah Daisy enter the room and stop, her face slowly turning red as she saw Jacob hugging Catalina.
Jacob broke the hug and cleared his voice. “Hey, everyone?” he said. The room immediately silenced, which Jacob found incredibly strange. Who was he to make everyone quiet at the merest sound of his voice? He was just a seventh grader from Magellan Middle School who liked corndogs and happened to have a father from outer space.
“Hey, everyone, I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for this campaign. I just really, really appreciate it. You didn’t have to do it, and you did it, and that means so much to me.”
And as he looked out at everyone, he realized how far everyone had come for him and how much they had given up. How much time and energy Catalina had put into the campaign, how Dexter had found his own way back and taken care of the monkeys as best he could, and how even Sarah Daisy returned to help him out for the final days of the campaign.
They did it all for him. And if he somehow came up short when the votes came in, all of their work would be for nothing. He would fail them and everyone on Earth. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to face it.
Jacob Wonderbar for President of the Universe Page 13