by Ali Parker
"Hey. Were you leaving a message?" His voice was gravely and filled with sleep. He sounded impossibly cute.
I lamented over not being there to wake him up myself. "Yeah. I just wanted to see if you were still planning on going with me to Dantana."
"The art gallery?" He let out a loud yawn.
I pulled the phone from my ear and smiled. "Yeah. That's the one."
"Absolutely. We can check it out and then grab something to eat."
"Okay. Am I picking you up or-"
"No. I'll come by the apartment and get you around six. That work?"
"Yeah. And then tomorrow morning, we're going to Dallas. I'll pick you up for that trip."
"Okay." There was an odd pause.
"Something wrong? Are you wanting to drive yourself?"
"No. No, that's not it."
"Then what?" I stood up, feeling less sure about myself by the second. It would seem he wasn't the only one that needed to get over insecurities and grow up.
"It's just that my father and Damon don't know about us."
"Really?" I couldn't hide the surprise in my voice. "I'm pretty sure your brother does."
"Yeah, but my father doesn't, not fully. I know him and Damon are hoping that we’ll get together, but I need to tell him before we just surprise him by showing up as a couple."
"We're not a couple. At least not yet." I pressed my hand to my hip, not sure why I was so offended by the conversation, but I was.
"You know what I mean, Erica."
"Not really, but you can explain tonight. I'll see you around six. Someone just knocked on my door. Enjoy your day off." I let him squeeze in a parting word before hanging up the phone.
It was going to be a long weekend, and one that was sure to honestly define how I felt about taking the next step with him. If he hadn't told Kent how he felt about me, how serious was he? They were close... like my father and I used to be.
If he were still alive, there wasn't much he wouldn't know about Matt.
The fact that Kent was in the dark with Matt and I becoming more than friends spoke volumes... or maybe it didn't. I wasn't sure.
***
"Hey, pretty girl." He turned toward me as I opened the door and got into the car.
"Hey. The traffic bad on the way over here?" I buckled up and stiffened a little as he leaned over and pulled me into a warm kiss. It only took a second of being pressed against him to loosen me up. How lame were my standards?
"Not bad at all. I'd drive anywhere to get to you though." He wagged his eyebrows before moving back into his seat. "So tell me about this gallery. I haven't heard much about it."
"It's locally owned, like a lot of the galleries around here. The artist actually lives in Paris, but his sister runs the gallery here for him. His pieces are abstract, complex, hard to decipher."
"Hmmm... sounds like my kind of guy."
"Very true." I clasped my hands in my lap and sunk back against my seat. "I'm so glad this week is over."
"I bet." He reached over and wrapped his hand around mine. "I'm looking forward to the weekend."
"Me too. It'll be nice to get out of here for a while."
"Who's watching Zek?"
"Lanie said she would do it."
"That's great, and are you planning on staying at my place tomorrow night or you want me to get us a hotel?"
"I think it might be best if you stay at your place and I get my own hotel. I'm on a business trip, and even though Kent is your father, I don't want him thinking less of me." I shrugged. "I mean, maybe it's a good thing that he doesn't know that we're working through our feelings together. It's not very professional of me to-"
"You're upset." He pulled his hand back into his lap. "I knew it. I knew the minute you hung up on me earlier that you were upset about me not mentioning us to my father."
"No, it's fine." I glanced over at him as the tightness in my chest got worse. "I get it. Honestly."
"It's not fine, but I don't want to drag my family in the middle of this until you and I settle on whether we're together or we're not. My dad already thinks I’m a flake. This will only make it worse. You mean a lot to him at the company and he’s on edge that I’m going to mess that up."
"And who's making that call?" I moved my arms up to wrap them around my chest, as if I could protect myself from the oncoming fight.
"We both are, Erica." He pulled onto the freeway. "Let's just have fun tonight. Can we? I know you’re tired of thinking about everything that happened. Let’s forget about it for one night and just enjoy each other’s company. I love being with you."
"Yeah, okay. You’re right." I let out a long exhale through my nose and reached up to turn on the radio. We could have fun together and not think about the consequences, but he would be ten shades of pissed when the night ended with a quick hug at my door and him headed home to jerk off alone. I wasn't making another move until I understood where we stood together. My heart couldn’t handle it.
"Cool." He let out a sigh and turned toward the art district. "You're gonna love how the portrait of you turned out. I'm a little tense about sharing it with anyone besides you."
"Oh yeah? Why?" I glanced over toward him as sadness filled my chest. We weren't going to move past our immaturities and ever become anything solid with the way we were headed. He wanted to pretend that we were together until it got too real, too uncomfortable, and then he would back off, leaving me standing there, holding the empty bag that I believed to be our future.
"Because, baby... You're insanely hot. That picture is going to give every man in the room a woody." He snorted. "I'm just not sure I want all that competition."
I let the conversation die, because the way my mood was souring, he wouldn't have wanted to hear my response to it.
"This it right here?" He pointed to the art gallery ahead of us.
"Yeah. That's it. The woman who runs it is a little odd, but you'll appreciate why. She lives alone with ten cats and a million abstract paintings." I smiled and unbuckled as he parked the car.
"Hey." He turned and reached out, grabbing my hand. "You okay? I feel a shift in our evening. I just want to make sure that you know that I plan on talking to my father about us."
There was no 'us’, but I was getting blue in the face from saying it.
"I'm good." I reached for the door and got out, feeling for the first time since meeting Matt that maybe we weren't evenly matched. He was brilliant and funny, and fucked like a wild man, but there was more to life than a few chuckles and a hot romp in the sheets. Where would he be when I needed him most?
How would he present me to other people? Like my father, who would flaunt me around as the best thing since sliced bread, or like my mother, someone to be brought in the limelight when it best served her or silenced when it didn't?
I was sure a couple of weeks ago, but now... not so much.
"You staying the night with me?" Matt touched my lower back as we walked to the door.
"No. I need to wash clothes and pack tonight. Maybe when we get back." I reached for the door and walked in, not giving him a chance to respond.
As much as I wanted to forget the fear of loss, I just couldn’t. There were no guarantees in life, but I needed more than he’d given so far. Maybe then I could step back into the unknown with him and really give ‘us’ a try.
Chapter 33
Matt
She was pulling back - big time. Where I was the one trying with all my might to prove myself to her, the more I pushed, the farther she seemed to pull back. She was fine with sex, but talking about the relationship? No.
I brushed my fingers by my lips as I pulled up to the private hanger. She was supposed to pick me up that morning, but I was running a little behind and didn't want to put her in a frenzy because of it.
I needed a new tactic. Damon would know what to do.
After parking, I grabbed my bag and walked to the plane as anticipation danced in my stomach. No matter what happened between us, I
was pretty sure she would forever have an impact on me. There hadn't been a time over the last two years of her working for my father at M&B that seeing her hadn't left me tingling, excited, scared.
I walked up the stairs and nodded at the flight attendant before turning my attention on Erica. Her hair was in a loose bun and her dress was business-like, but a little more casual than what she wore in the office. Long legs that went on for days and cream-colored heels that looked good on her. I could almost imagine her in nothing but her garter and the heels, laid across a bed, moaning for me.
"Morning." I smiled and moved to sit down beside her. "You sleep good?"
"Yeah." She turned to face me, her expression peaceful. "Really good."
"Awesome." I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "About last night-"
"No. I need to apologize. I don't care if Kent knows about us dating or not. It's probably best that he doesn't."
"Wait. We're dating now?" I snorted and reached over to squeeze her knee.
"Sounds better than fucking, right?" Her smile brightened up the inside of the plane.
"I actually like the sound of us fucking."
She chuckled and shook her head. "I don't know what we are, but I'm tired of thinking about it."
"All right, then I'll just keep working to steal your heart and your panties and you just relax and try to forgive me. Deal?"
"Yeah. Maybe." She smiled and turned her attention to the flight attendant. "Do you have coffee made?"
"Sure do. And for you, Mr. Bryant?"
"Mr. Bryant is my father, but yes, I'll take a cup too." I leaned back and let my eyes run along her legs as she looked out the window. "You look incredible today. So far beyond beautiful it hurts."
"You're just being sweet." She turned back to face me, her blue eyes filled with far too many questions.
One decision to leave and not call and I was back to square one. Why? Something in her past? I had to know.
"I am a sweet guy. You've tasted me. You should know." Just talking about it had me getting hard. She blushed. The softer side of her. I sighed internally like a love-sick fool. "Tell me about your love life in the past. Any one name repeated over and over in your little pink diary?"
"It's black, and you mean someone besides you?"
Score. At least I was in there.
"Why am I not surprised that it's black?" I laughed as she did too.
"I haven't dated many guys." She shrugged and fiddled with her dress. "And I haven't been with anyone seriously since college."
"Me either. The college part. I rarely date guys." I winked and reached out to take her hand as the flight attendant told us to hold off on the coffee as the flight was taking off.
"I was with my childhood sweetheart from sixth grade, when I started dating, to my senior year in college. Ten years." She turned her head to look back out the window. "Ten long, good years."
Bingo.
"And what happened?" I pulled her hand to my mouth and kissed her fingers. My body was tight with anxiety over this shit swirling between us and the fact that she hadn't stayed with me the night before, but I understood it. She was protecting herself. I could respect that, though the alpha inside of me still wanted to tear down all her walls and prove myself worthy.
"I don't know, honestly. One day he came in and said he didn't feel it anymore, which was funny, because I hadn't felt it for years." She shrugged. "After making the commitment to be with someone forever, you would expect it to last a lot longer than ten years. Guess I misunderstood what forever meant."
"Or you were with the wrong man." I reached over and touched the side of her face, wanting to apologize again, but knowing it was futile. She'd have to learn to trust me through my actions, not my words.
"Maybe so," she mumbled, her eyes moving around my face as if searching for something.
I moved over toward her and slid my hand deep into her hair, tightening my grip just a little as I leaned down and kissed her a few times. I brushed my nose by hers and breathed in deeply.
"I missed you last night, but I know why you didn't come home with me." I kissed her again. "I'll prove myself to you, Erica. I promise."
She touched the side of my face, drawing me down for another kiss. She was battling herself on whether to reject me, or keep me forever. The real forever. I could sense indecision all over her.
"I like that you're willing to try." She kissed me again, pressing her tongue against my lips as if knocking on the door. I opened up and groaned a little as her tongue slid by mine. So delicious and sweet. It wasn't going to take much and I'd have her in the back of the plane, worshiping her beautiful body and trying to heal her soul in any way she would let me.
The flight attendant cleared his throat. "Um... coffee?"
We jerked back and laughed. Maybe the worship could start later that night if I played my cards right.
My brother would be a great resource for how to play the game altogether. Maybe.
***
"Are you sure you're okay with me staying here?" Erica glanced over toward my father as he nodded.
"Yes. Karen and I had Martha make up a bed for you and everything. It's just overnight, and you know you're always welcome in my home, Erica." My dad moved forward and pulled Erica into a hug before glancing over at me. "How are you? Behaving?"
"Never." I wagged my eyebrows and moved up to hug him. The smell blasting out of the kitchen left me feeling like home would always be my dad's house, no matter how old I got. "Where's Damon? Bethany?"
"They're out back. Let's get your luggage stowed away and you can join them." Karen moved to pick up my bag. My stepmother was petite like Bethany. I chuckled and picked up the bag.
"No way are you toting our stuff. Just lead the way, and I'll put it up." I took Erica's bag from her as my father wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Red or white wine," he asked her while leading her into the kitchen.
"Both?" She laughed and the sound filled me with warmth. Why the hell was I running in the opposite direction of her for the last two years? Right. Fear of being consumed by her. Too late. She was all the fuck I thought about, and it didn't seem like that would be changing anytime soon.
"How are you?" Karen glanced over her shoulder. "I mean, like really? You moving up to Seattle is a big step. I'm proud of you."
I smiled. "I'm good. Just trying to work through things with Erica, and settling in, but I'm really good."
"I'm glad to hear that." She opened a door and moved back to let me go in.
"Thanks. I'm doing much better in the office setting than I would have thought. I hate being in a tiny box and only having a computer to look at, but my team has been awesome. They're a bunch of artists too, so we have some good conversation, and the design projects are honestly pretty cool. I could see myself surviving there for at least another month."
She chuckled and pulled me into a hug as I turned around. "Just a warning... your brother and Bethany are in wedding mode, so every conversation they have has something to do with the wedding."
"Did we set a date yet?" I squeezed her and moved back as she turned to walk out into the hallway.
"Yes, but I'll let them fill you in on all of it." She lifted her hands and walked toward the kitchen. "You would think it's happening next week with all the discussion about it, but I'm pretty sure they're looking at early December."
"This year?" I almost swallowed my tongue. No way the two of them would be able to pull together a wedding in a month.
"Yep." She glanced over her shoulder and gave me a look. "Maybe you can talk some sense into them."
"Right." I lifted my eyebrow. "Because I'm the sensible one in the family."
She chuckled. "It's not even a destination wedding. Bethany wants it here."
"Oh. Wow. So a big wedding?"
"Not really." She waved me away. "Go talk to them about it. It'll be good for them to have a new person to share all of this with."
"Sounds like fun." Or not. I wa
s grateful that things had worked out with Bethany and Damon, but wedding planning sucked. No matter who was involved.
"There's my little brother." Damon walked toward me with a big smile on his face.
I couldn't help but return the gesture. "What's up, bro?"
Erica was sitting next to Bethany out on the patio, the two girls both having big smiles on their faces and seemed to be laughing. I loved how well she fit right into the mix, like she belonged there.
"How is it? Working for M&B? Having Erica as your mistress? Living in the art capital of the States?" He pulled me into a quick hug and moved back, patting my chest. "You loving it or scared shitless?"
I took a moment to think about it. Oddly enough, for the first time in a long time, I wasn't scared at all. I was worried about the situation with me and Erica, but not scared.
"I'm actually good." I shrugged. "I got a lot of shit to work through with Erica, but otherwise, I'm good. Job is all right, apartment is amazing and Erica is everything I could imagine wanting in a woman."
"Awesome. So you guys are together now?"
"Um... no." I ran my hand down my face as he growled.
"What? Why the fuck not?" He glanced behind him and back to me. "Did she not accept your apology for that stunt you pulled a few weeks back?"
"She accepted it, but she's still processing it. She's got some baggage in her past around men getting up and leaving her. It was probably the one thing I shouldn't have done. Had I known, I would have called after leaving that Monday, but I didn't." I slipped my hands in my pockets and drew in a deep breath. "I don't know what to do to speed things up. She's pushing hard against me every time I try, but I keep trying."
"Good. Don't relent." He nodded toward the kitchen. "Grab a beer with me."
"Sounds good." I followed him in and moved to lean against the counter as he grabbed two beers from the fridge. "I'm in love with her for sure, but words aren't working. I'm going to have to figure out how to show her how I feel, and that I'm committed."
"Good." He handed me a bottle and popped the top on his. "You told me how to get Bethany back, and it worked. You remember what you said?"