I warned him before he left, ‘But we’ll always have cameras on us, so we can’t do anything naughty.’
‘Naughty? Huh?’ he said, laughing and leaning in a little more towards me. He smelt great. What was it about a man’s smell that made me go weak? First it was Acqua de Gio and now it was Davidoff. I liked!
And then he leaned in and kissed me. At first, it was a gentle hesitant kiss, but when he saw that I was reciprocating, he moved his body in. I reached out and held the back of his head and he pressed my chest closer to his body. He held me tightly and kissed me deeply. It was romantic and passionate. Gentle and strong. Soft and supple. Something I hadn’t felt for a very long time. The warmth from his body permeated into my skin and I felt myself tingle. I could feel the longing in his body. We were lip locked for a few minutes when it dawned on us that we were on national television. He let go of me gently, still not caring whether the world was watching and I looked into his eyes and smiled, suddenly not caring either. If there was an art to a perfect kiss, Karan would have been the van Gogh of it! And then suddenly, I realized Aditi was right, the best way to get over a man, was to find another one. All along I had thought only Arjun kissed well, and now I knew I was wrong.
Karan made me realize I had lived my life by other people’s rules for too long. It was time that I explored my sexuality on my own terms.
I looked at him with a twinkle in my eye and said, ‘Yes Dr Karan Raparia. Naughty!’ And then got up and walked away. I looked back at him and he was watching me walk. God, I hoped my arse didn’t look big in the swimming costume. Still, I tossed my hair back and looked at him and I knew he was checking me out. I was a new woman!
Then the interviews started, which was the norm before, during and after every task. We had to answer questions and Karan was asked if he was happy to be going on this date with me. He looked right at me and said to the camera, ‘Oh, I’m definitely looking forward to it.’
The girls were burning, but my body was already on fire.
Then Karan did something nice. When no one was looking, he went and wrote a note for me on a piece of paper and put it in my jacket pocket. On the way back to the House, in the bus with the girls, I found it. It read, ‘I’m so glad you won. I wanted to see you again. I need to repeat our kiss.’
I was really looking forward to our date once again. Maybe Karan was my second chance with Love.
Thirty-three
Back in the House, the girls started fighting again over who was going to use the showers first. A few of them went into the three bathrooms while the rest of us sat around in the large drawing room sofas and chatted.
‘My body is screaming in pain,’ said Shalini, the girl from Lucknow, who just a few days ago was wearing a full sleeve salwar kameez, but had shed it for the tiny shorts today.
‘I need a drink,’ said Shweta, the biker chick from Bangalore. We all looked at her and she replied in a hushed whisper, ‘I know we’re not allowed, but I smuggled some in.’
And then we were all in it. We all wanted some of that alcohol.
‘First, we need to cover all the cameras here. At least in this room,’ I said, organizing the whole thing. So we all got up and walked to the respective cameras and threw our jackets over them. We muffled the microphones in a similar fashion with other pieces of clothing and cushions around. Then we sent Shweta to her room to get the alcohol out. She came back with a large bottle of vodka.
‘See, it will never smell on us and we can all have a little bit,’ she said in a conspiratorial whisper.
I wanted to throw my arms around her and hug her, but refrained—it might be taken as a lesbian act and I would be voted off, if nothing else!
We all sat down with a large peg and began to chat. The tension just evaporated with this common factor called Smirnoff, as we bonded against the producers and opened up to each other.
‘So, Kaveri,’ started Pooja, the web designer from Hyderabad, ‘where are you supposed to be going on that date with Karan?’
Before I could reply, another woman intervened and asked me, ‘How did you finish the task so quickly, yaar? How did you rig it?’
‘I didn’t rig it. And I have no idea,’ I replied. ‘I guess I’ve always loved nature and I used to go trekking with my dad when I was young. I hadn’t done that in a long time and I just got into a rhythm … it was fun and I kept going,’ I shrugged my shoulders.
‘So Karan likes you,’ added Ramneek, the girl from Delhi who was working in the hospitality industry.
‘I don’t really care,’ I said, acting indifferent. But I knew I did. It was a nice thing to hear that a man preferred you over nine other women!
‘Are you crazy? Why don’t you care? We’re all supposed to be competing for the love of this man,’ spoke Meher, the costume designer from Mumbai.
‘You know what? I don’t care too much either. He’s kinda stupid,’ spoke Anandita, the Bengali woman who was a theatre artiste.
Then the women who had gone for their showers came out and joined us. But none of us wanted to move. ‘Hey! What are you guys having?’ asked eighteen-year-old Namrata who walked in first. ‘I also want!’ she spoke in a high nasal tone. I could just imagine her being a total brat in a rich household, having got everything she wanted from her rich daddy, including the spot in this show.
‘You’re not legally allowed to, darling,’ said Pooja sarcastically, and who had probably just turned legal enough to drink.
‘Oh ya?’ said Namrata. ‘Then I won’t share my smokes with you!’ and she went and got a packet of cigarettes and lit up extremely seductively in front of the others. Shweta got up and snatched the packet from her while handing her a glass, ‘Stop being such a bitch. Here. Baby!’ Then turning to me she asked, ‘So what do you really want from Karan, Kaveri? Sex? Marriage? A baby to take home?’ Everyone laughed at her joke. She lit up a cigarette and held it while plonking herself back on the sofa.
I just smiled. ‘No, babe,’ I said casually, ‘I don’t want any of that stuff. I’m here to meet interesting people. And I have.’ And then I raised my glass to the lot of them.
‘So you don’t care if you get eliminated tomorrow?’
I shook my head and said nonchalantly, ‘Not at all!’ I didn’t want to give away my secret.
Misri, the Punjabi girl who was half Parsi and a model, lit a cigarette as well and said, ‘I want to just make this a platform to go on to TV serials, you know.’
‘Me too,’ said the reticent Anandita, ‘I’ve been doing theatre for far too long and I’m not going anywhere. I need to make money. I can’t live on roles for the soul.’
Shweta laughed, ‘That’s what they call it? What a loser you are!’
‘I’m here to get married,’ said Ramneek, the Delhi hotel girl, suddenly. Shalini, the woman from Lucknow, stared at her. I could sense she also felt the same way, but she didn’t want to say it out loud to give away her feelings. So she got up and muttered she was going to take a shower.
Ramneek continued, ‘I’ve been single for too long. I’ve gone through the matrimonial ads, the Internet and the friends of friends’ thing. But nothing has worked out. The men I’ve met have been mostly losers. Not to mention ugly.’ She took a long sip of her drink and continued, ‘I’m ready to settle down. And Karan seems like a nice guy. He’s intelligent, caring, NRI, doctor, rich! What more could a girl ask for?’
‘Are you serious?’ asked Meher, the costume designer and continued without a response, ‘There are so many better men out there than Karan. I mean, you don’t know anything about his parents, his background, if he has a girlfriend stashed away in the US.’ I could make out that Meher also wanted to marry Karan, but was dissuading Ramneek from doing so.
Namrata butted in here, ‘Oh, he had a girlfriend. A steady one.’ We all looked at her. This eighteen-year-old was giving the rest of us information! ‘Ya he told me on our meeting. But he said it was over some time back. And oh ya, I forgot to mention, he kissed me!’ We w
ere all in shock. She seemed smug and content.
I could see that some of the women were taken aback and would take up the issue with Karan the next time they met. I didn’t know how to feel. I had begun to feel this fondness for him, but if he was just being a Casanova, then maybe I would have to back off and treat this like it really was. Just a show. Before the girls could grill Namrata further, one of the producers came in and gave orders for us to get ready for the elimination round. He also brought in some dresses for us that were sponsored by a leading brand store. We all had to shower, get into make-up and these gowns and head downstairs in half an hour. So we all rushed and forgot about the camaraderie that the alcohol had induced a while ago. But I could hear Ramneek crying in the bathroom later. This show was teaching us a thing or two. It had made me even more confused. If all these girls wanted Karan as their husband, who was I to have a fling with him and ruin the whole equation. And Karan was a fling. He could never be a husband for me. And suddenly I felt guilty. How could I not distinguish between Love and Lust? It was time I grew up.
Half an hour later we were on the steps of the House for the elimination. Karan and the producers were also present. Aniruddh walked in from the side entrance and said his lines to the camera, ‘Well, the winner of today’s task was … Kaveri!’ a little applause and I was called down to stand next to Karan. Aniruddh continued, ‘But while we get to Kaveri and Karan’s date later, Karan, you need to make a decision right now. There will be an elimination. But we also have a twist.’ Here, there was a dramatic pause for effect. ‘Not one girl, but two, will be eliminated tonight!’
The girls wore a shocked expression. They hadn’t expected this. Aniruddh continued, ‘The girl with the lowest score on both tasks will be eliminated first. Now this is not Karan’s decision. It is based on a point system. The girl I will call out must immediately pack her bags and leave the House. And the first girl to go is …’ Here again, there was another pause and everyone waited with bated breath, ‘Meher.’ My God. I was shocked as were the rest of the inmates. She was the most classy dresser, and voted amongst the top three probables. But she was the first to go. Apparently, she had burnt her food and she had come last in the task today. She hugged a few girls, blew Karan a kiss and walked up towards her room to pack her bags. A camera followed her while the rest of us looked on surprised.
‘Now the time has come for Karan to pick the person he is most incompatible with. So Karan, after meeting everyone, who do you think should leave the House.’
Karan looked sheepish and smiled, ‘Well, I think all the girls are superb. They’re so unique in their own way.’
Aniruddh now insisted, as was the norm, on elongating the process, ‘But we need to know one name, Karan.’
Karan took a deep breath. I could hear the ‘tension music track’ playing in the background. Then he looked straight at the girl who had caused havoc a few hours earlier and said, ‘Namrata.’
Namrata looked shocked. She must have thought that after her make-out session with this man, she would have definitely survived this elimination. She stood there with her eyes wide open and jaw dropped. Then, instead of hugging anyone, she took out her middle finger and showed it to Karan and stormed off into her room. I almost burst out laughing, but the producers looked stern and so I just pursed my lips and looked down.
Aniruddh announced that the rest of us could relax till the next task, while Karan and I were sent off for the date. But when the producer yelled, ‘Cut!’ I was told to go rest and that the date would happen the next day. I would have to wear the same clothes and be ready by 7 p.m. Karan left without saying a word to anyone and we all went upstairs. I realized that he was also affected by the elimination process. He was getting close to the girls. And I was just one of them. I went to my room to crash for the night. But I could hear the girls sitting in their room discussing the elimination and analysing it in great detail. The game had begun, but now I wanted something else. I wanted to get out.
Thirty-four
Karan picked me up at seven in the evening and instead of going for a quiet dinner, we went to a New Year’s Eve party that had been arranged by the channel. It was a red carpet event with a host of television stars, models, the press and photographers. Most of the producers were huddling around Deepa who was waving her hand and a few went off to get her something. There were cameras on Karan and me as well. Karan behaved like a movie star as soon as he stepped out of the car that had been sent to pick us up. This was a side to him I had not seen before. I was shy and nervous. I followed him, pleading with my eyes to not be left behind. I felt awkward and out of place. But I knew I was looking pretty. The gown and the make-up that had been applied earlier in the evening, along with the jewels given by Gitanjali, made me feel like a princess. At least people were taking my photograph along with Karan’s. I didn’t feel like an old cow as was mentioned by the producers and girls yesterday.
The rest of the girls were also there. But I was Karan’s official date. We went to the party and the cameras followed us around as we met people and gave out bytes. We met TV stars from a variety of shows and were introduced to a few models who had gone from the ramp to TV and then to the silver screen. They towered over me and were wearing tiny clothes that showed off a lot of cleavage, legs, back or other body parts in ample amounts. I knew if Aditi were here, she would have fit right in. But I had always felt shy in public places and that side was emerging again. I needed to get a drink to feel at ease. I told Karan I needed a drink and he went off to get me one.
In the meantime, a reporter came up to me and asked, ‘Hey, you’re the chick who’s on the date with Karan, right?’
I nodded.
She continued, ‘So how does it feel to fall in love with a man who’s loved by nine other women?’
Suddenly I got my confidence back. I knew what I had to do. I turned around and said, ‘Love, sex and romance are all different things, dear. Don’t ever get them confused!’ And I threw my head back and laughed. She giggled nervously for a bit and said, ‘Great! I’ll see you around.’ With that she went off.
Karan made me dance, which the cameras captured, along with our every move. But after that, the cameras left us alone and we could be natural. Or at least that’s what we thought. I realized later that the hidden cameras captured our conversation and played it on national television which made the episode the highest rated on that channel for the show.
‘Finally!’ he said and came and sat next to me on the bench. It was a starlit night. The crescent moon shone brightly and we watched the traffic go by. He then turned and kissed me.
‘It’s about time!’ I said naughtily. ‘What took you so long?’
‘I didn’t know if I was allowed,’ he winked.
‘Oh honey, of course you’re allowed,’ I said seductively. And then he turned and put his hand behind my head and pulled me towards him and gave me a slow, deep kiss. His tongue touched mine so softly, as if it was asking permission. I turned towards him and mumbled ‘mmm’.
We stopped after a few minutes and looked at each other. Then I turned and took a sip of my drink and said very indifferently, ‘You know you have to eliminate me.’
His look showed he was completely baffled with my statement.
I then asked, very casually, ‘Tell me, Karan, which of these girls do you really like?’
He looked at me and said, ‘Besides you?’ And here he smiled and continued, ‘Um … Ramneek’s interesting. My mom will be happy with her … Shalini is so diametrically different … Pooja is intelligent and would be able to continue her career in USA …’ he was talking as if the girls needed to adjust to his life and he would never adjust to theirs.
‘See, darling, you’re confused. You came here to get married. To find a correct bahu, according to what Aniruddh told us on the first day. And you know I’m not that. So why are you wasting your time with me?’ I asked, matter of fact.
He tried to defend himself, ‘But I like you!’
He swerved around and looked at me, ‘I’m not supposed to explain to the girls why I eliminate them.’
I kept quiet. Then I said with affirmation, ‘Karan … seriously, how about you eliminate me and save yourself some pain later?’
‘Kaveri, I don’t know what to say,’ he felt dejected. I had hurt his ego. Here was a twenty-five-year-old man who had come onto a show looking for some fun and to pass time. He had not expected to get emotionally involved with the women or that a woman would be rejecting him!
‘I thought we had something special,’ he said.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ I said, mischievously, ‘Why don’t we do something very special before we go our separate ways?’
He looked up at me. I raised my eyebrow and smiled. He looked around and pointed to the party where the journalists were and said, ‘With the reporters here?’
Just then, we saw a hot air balloon on the lawns at the back with a man standing near it. We both thought of it at the same time. We went down the stairs and to the man there. The signage said, ‘See Mumbai by night’ and it charged a ridiculously high price, which was why no one was going for it. But we told the man that it was for our reality show and that the producers would pay for it. So he agreed. After showing us the safety measures, he sent us off on the balloon! I couldn’t believe it. It was quite an escapade. We told each other stories, laughed out loud, pointing to places that were our favourite haunts and what we’d done there.
‘Oh my God, see that house? That was my first girlfriend’s house.’
‘I didn’t know you’ve lived here?’
‘Oh yes, till I was five.’
Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas Page 17