Shalia's Diary Book 4

by Tracy St. John

  “Don’t do it, Shalia!” Oses yelled from the floor. “Don’t give in. I have no fear of dying. Once I’m gone, he’ll have no hold over you at all.”

  That statement alone told me Finiuld wasn’t above sacrificing Oses to keep me in line. Otherwise, the Nobek would have been telling me it really was a bluff.

  I stared down at Oses, meeting his eyes. Maybe he wasn’t afraid to be eaten alive by five monstrous Tragooms, but I sure as hell couldn’t handle it. Even if I wasn’t forced to watch it, I wouldn’t have been able to sign his death warrant. Oses was not going to die this horrible death because of me. I and my child needed him alive.

  Little Creep tittered. “You will obey my every order from now on, or this is the Nobek’s fate. You will watch him get torn apart by starving Tragooms who don’t give a fuck about anything but filling their bellies. Do you understand, Shalia?”

  My lips were numb. Finiuld had me. “I understand.”

  “Will you obey me?”

  “No!” Oses shouted.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Damn it, you swore! You promised me, Shalia!” Oses actually sounded livid that I would spare his life.

  Finiuld ignored him. “No matter what I tell you to do, you will do it? Because one slip-up, and he dies like this.”

  “I’ll do whatever you want,” I said.

  I had an instant to see Oses turn his head away so he didn’t have to look at me. Then Finiuld raised his device, and everything went black once more.

  February 15 or 16

  I woke back in my little habitat, curled alone in the shallow cave at the back of the room. I wore my clean shift once more. I sat up, blinking and trying to pull my thoughts together. I remembered Oses chained down and Finiuld threatening to let a bunch of Tragooms eat him alive. Terror coursed through me, and I looked for the Nobek.

  Oses sat next to our pond, his back to me. He had not put his vest back on, but he wore his kilt. I noted how he hunched, not sitting straight and proud as the man I know normally would have. I didn’t have to see his face to know Oses was in a bad way, psychologically speaking.

  I crawled out of the cave and stood. I had a suspicious look around, making sure the Little Creep was nowhere to be seen. That didn’t mean he wasn’t there, of course, but at least his ugly mug was nowhere in evidence. The other prisoners lay or sat around (or in the case of the Isetacian, hung from vines). They always cowered in corners when they knew Finiuld was present. It was as good an indication as I was going to get that we might not be graced with the Little Creep’s attendance.

  I went over to Oses and sat down beside him. “Are you hurt?” I asked. The question ‘Are you okay’ would have been the height of stupidity. Neither of us was okay.

  “You should have let me die an honorable death,” he said. His voice was cold and he wouldn’t look at me. It brought tears to my eyes, and I blinked hard to keep them from falling.

  “What would be honorable about being eaten alive?” I asked. “How can you expect me to watch while such a thing happened?”

  “I watched you thrash around screaming and crying while that gurluck tormented you through your collar,” Oses said. Now emotion was trickling in; a brutal anger that made his fangs descend. “You made me promise to let it happen, and I did. I didn’t lift a finger to protect you. I didn’t even threaten him while he hurt you. You promised you would do the same.”

  “So I should have let him set the starving Tragooms on you? I should have sat there listening to you scream and watching you get torn apart? I should have done that, knowing my sanity would break, leaving me as worthless as the Isetacian or the Plasian over there? Then where would I be? What about my—”

  I stopped just in time to keep from saying the word ‘baby’. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.

  Oses shook his head. “I can’t take care of you. I can’t protect you or anyone else, not from that monster. What is my life worth if I can’t do that? I might as well be dead, especially since Finiuld is now using me to harm you.”

  His fangs disappeared. Now Oses had an expression I’d never thought possible on his face: utter despondency. He was a man with no hope.

  It scared me to see him like that. Hell, I was terrified he might kill himself. He seemed determined to blame all our misfortune on him alone.

  I touched his arm, trying to reach him. “Oses, I’m sorry I gave in. I’m not strong like you. I can’t watch someone I care about be hurt the way you would have been. I can’t be the reason you die. It would destroy me.”

  The Nobek’s brows drew together. He finally turned to me, finally looked at me.

  “Do you mean that, Shalia?”

  I thought of how some part of me demanded I have an emotional connection to the men I slept with. I searched my feelings, made myself really look at them. I had sworn up and down not to get emotionally invested in any men I couldn’t join for life after the mess with Clan Dusa. I’d not fallen in romantic love; that much was for sure. Like with Betra, I had thus far managed to keep Oses at a distance as far as forever-love was concerned. Yet I felt a different kind of love for this Nobek who was suffering because he couldn’t protect me. Not happily-ever-after, but the strong, abiding love of a best comrade.

  “Fuck,” I breathed. “Yes, Oses, I mean it. I can’t stand to have anything to do with you being hurt or killed.”

  Oses grabbed my wrists and tugged them down, making me look at him. “Tell me it’s not love, damn you. You know if we get out of here, such a thing is an impossibility.”

  He sounded like me when I yelled at Betra for being stupid and falling for me. I almost laughed in spite of myself. Oses and I had a lot in common.

  “No, not that kind of love. You’re more like one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had and I just happen to fuck.” I groaned again. “It’s still too much of an emotional investment, isn’t it? As if things weren’t bad enough. You and that damned Imdiko.”

  Oses drew in a sharp breath. “Betra? Oh, Shalia.” He shook his head. “You couldn’t have picked worse. He’ll never join a clan, not when he can’t cope with a physical relationship with other men. Trust me, he’ll only break your heart.”

  “No kidding.” I had the urge to bash my head against the nearby tree. “Why do I keep doing this? Why do I have to pick the most impossible of men to latch onto, even when I manage to not go head over heels?”

  “That’s what I keep asking myself.” Oses gave me a wry smile. “The most impossible of men and the most impossible of women.”

  I stared at him, understanding what he was telling me. “Well hell, Oses. All we need to do now is find the Empire’s least likely Dramok to clan, and we’ll be set. We’ll be so happy between the moments we’re not driving each other crazy.”

  He snorted. “You’re forgetting I’m a career fleet officer, Shalia. I don’t know how to do anything else. Even if we could convince Betra and find a Dramok who could cope with his issues, I would be away for months at a time. That’s not the clanmate for you.”

  “No hope for any of us, huh?” My guts churned. Damn it, I knew better than to have allowed this to happen.

  Oses sighed and stroked my cheek. “I am not a suitable Nobek for you. You know the feelings I have for Betra. I want no other Imdiko. He doesn’t want me. Therefore, I cannot hope to clan. That means there can never be anymore between you and I than what we already have.”

  “I know.” The tree look better and better for me to pound my stupid thick skull against. “And yet as Betra told me, the heart wants what the heart wants. I’m beginning to think Kalquor may have to give up the traditional clan system. If half the other Earther girls are having my problems, we might have to insist on it.”

  “It could happen if our numbers increase, especially if there are plenty of females of the hybrid children born. I doubt the rules will change in our lifetimes, however.” Despite his bleak words, Oses smiled at me. It was good to see him do so. At least he wasn’t ready to offer h
imself as a main course to Tragooms anymore.

  “Don’t sacrifice yourself, Oses,” I begged him. “I need you. I’m selfish enough to ask you to put aside your honor for me. If you really do care, you’ll stay with me. Please.”

  He drew a deep breath. Released it. Then to my immeasurable relief, he nodded. “For now. It is too soon to give up hope that I may find a way to get us out of here.”

  “Yes,” I encouraged him. “I know you will, Oses.”

  “Until that time, I am your Nobek. You are my Matara, my woman to care for and protect.” He looked me over with a sense of possession. “My woman to love.”

  My eyes widened as his spicy arousal scent surrounded me. “Out here? In the open?” I swallowed. “Everyone can see us.”

  “Let them. I will claim you so all know you belong to me. Finiuld will be on notice that you are my mate and therefore, someone he should not threaten lightly.”

  I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea, but I also didn’t want Oses to think I was rejecting him. Hell, if it would keep him from sinking into that awful despair again, I’d do him while hanging from the Isetacian’s vines.

  “Can we at least go into the cave?” I asked. At least we’d have some semblance of privacy there.

  For an answer, Oses gathered me in his arms and stood. Every inch the primitive, conquering male, he carried me to the tiny shelter.

  He set me down on the grassy ground within our cave and stretched out beside me. He was between me and the opening, so no one could see me. Within that bit of privacy of big muscled Nobek, I slid my shift off.

  Oses sighed with satisfaction as I bared myself to him. All at once, I was glad I got over my shyness of maybe being seen by our fellow inmates or Finiuld. It was the first moment that approached happiness for the Nobek since we’d been captured. I would have given him a bounce in front of thousands just to give him that moment.

  He snaked his arm around my shoulders, pillowing my head on his bicep. “Wrists,” he said, wiggling his fingers in front of my face.

  I pulled a face as I let him hold my arms prisoner. “I’m not confined enough? You just can’t help but dominate, can you?”

  “No.” He kissed me, holding my wrists to my chest. “I can’t stand you being helpless against Finiuld, but I adore making you so for myself. I like you being vulnerable to me.”

  Oses shifted, bending and stretching to mouth my nipples. I’d thought I wouldn’t get excited given our situation. However, feeling his mouth on me, the scrape of his teeth and rough velvet of his tongue against my flesh, my lower parts began to bubble quite happily. Warm wetness seeped from my pussy as the Nobek sucked my tits with growing enthusiasm.

  “Oses,” I breathed, tasting his name. My Nobek.

  His free hand cupped my knee, the one closest to him. His hand traveled up my inner thigh, his rough fingertips kneading my softer flesh as it went. I whimpered and let my legs fall open.

  Oses licked my pebbled nipples in turn. “That’s it,” he whispered. “Give yourself up to me, my Matara. Surrender everything.”

  He kissed up my breastbone, skipping over my hands that he held in his powerful grip. Then he continued up until his mouth met mine.

  As Oses’ tongue invaded my mouth, his fingers reached my pussy. His kiss muffled my cry as he investigated my folds, spreading the growing wetness into every crevice and over my clit. Being on display while making love was not dimming my excitement at all. In fact, I think it made me more aware than ever that I was involved in carnal activity. The rasp of his calloused fingers had never been more poignant than they were right then as he explored. I swear I felt every whorl of his fingerprints. Sensation had been heightened beyond anything I’d ever known before.

  Oses broke our kiss and stared into my eyes. “My pussy.”

  “Yes,” I gasped.

  “Say it.”

  “It’s your pussy.”

  “Mine to play with. Mine to fuck, as hard as I want for as long as I want.”

  “Yes. Yours for whatever you want.”

  Two of Oses’ thick fingers slid inside me. His thumb brushed my clit. My entire groin seized and I arched against the ground beneath me.

  “That’s it,” Oses breathed, watching my face as he drove his fingers in and out and circled my clit. “I claim this pussy and I’m going to make it come. First it’s going to come with my fingers fucking it. Then it will come with both my cocks in it.”

  His thumb brushed over my livid clit. A wash of the purest, brightest excitement stabbed through the nubbin. My ass bounced off the ground and I made a strangled screamy sound.

  Oses’ dark, dangerous voice filled my ears. “My pretty pussy is so wet for me. It wants to come so badly. It likes how I fuck it.”

  I felt him curl his fingers, the tips searching. He found the cluster of nerves inside my sheath a second later, bringing heady, stomach-spasming pleasure. I kicked the ground and groaned between clenched teeth.

  “That’s it, pussy. You like that, don’t you? You want it even harder.”

  His fingers flew, rubbing strong and fast against my G-spot, providing nonstop friction. His thumb rubbed my clit at the same time. My guts felt like they were twisting, being wrung out like a soaked washcloth. I jerked violently against Oses, trying to come and get away from him all at once. My mouth opened wide as swelling bliss, fed by rapid-fire bullets of ecstasy, built up past the point of endurance. I screamed his name.

  “Ooooosssssssessssss!”

  “Yes, pretty pussy. You’re going to come now. Come for me.”

  Climax roared through my body. I was on fire, an inferno, burning up inside. At the same time it felt as if an earthquake was going off, shaking my insides into dust. I screamed and screamed and screamed.

  The intensity didn’t level off or let up even after the first few pulses of release. That was because Oses didn’t let up. He kept fucking me with those seemingly tireless fingers and rubbing my clit. He pressed his lips to my ear so I could hear him say, “More. I want my pussy to keep coming. Don’t stop.”

  I was frozen, my body unable to move as it strained to deliver ongoing orgasm. I could only lay galvanized, trapped in the circle of Oses’ arm as he made me come longer and harder than I thought a woman’s body could. I thought it might kill me. I didn’t care. It felt so damned good.

  I have no idea how long that gorgeous torment went on. I don’t know if Oses did that to me to punish me for not holding to our bargain. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case. He could be an evil genius when it came to getting payback.

  Then again, it might have been that he simply needed to exert control over something, anything. Being a Nobek and helpless was something he couldn’t handle. It’s a wonder he didn’t end up as insane as some of our fellow prisoners. I like to think giving myself over to Oses kept him from descending into utter madness.

  At last he stopped finger fucking my brains out. My breath came in ragged gasps as he held me and waited for me to recover. My stomach was sore from clenching so hard. My limbs were like wilted spaghetti. I’d never felt so wrecked in my life.

  “Good pussy,” Oses said when I began blinking at my surroundings with returning sense. “Now I’ll have a taste, and then you’ll take my cocks and come some more.”

  I didn’t even have the strength to whimper a plea for mercy. All my defenses were gone. I could only lay there and take whatever he chose to do to me.

  Oses moved down to kneel between my legs. He draped my trembling legs over his wide shoulders. I was aware that my breasts were now exposed to whoever chose to look into our cave, but I was much more cognizant of my lover’s face hovering over my pussy. His breaths were hot on my slit, making my skin pebble in gooseflesh. The hungry look on Oses’ face made fresh want stab into my guts.

  He inhaled deeply. “Look at you, so wet and juicy. And all mine. All mine.”

  The Nobek leaned down and lapped my pussy in a deliberate fashion. His eyes half-closed as he tasted me, like a
contented cat with a bowl full of cream. New warmth spread from the contact, sending stabs of arousal into the pit of me. I was still wasted from the orgasms he’d forced from me minutes before, unable to do much more than twitch and whimper.

  Oses licked and swallowed, licked and swallowed. When I didn’t cream enough for his appetite, he teased my clit with that wicked tongue of his to make me gush. Darts of supreme pleasure stabbed into my belly, making things start to coil. My breath came faster.

  My lover dipped his tongue into my entrance, seeking what he wanted from the source. He kissed me there like he would my mouth, making soft, moist noises. I trembled harder, feeling him enter me. Sensitive from the earlier fingerfucking, I felt every exquisite movement of his tongue.

  Oses urged me on to greater arousal with his voracious mouthing. My soft moans had turned to gasps within minutes. I still could barely move, my feet kicked a little and my arms would lift an inch from the ground before falling back. I couldn’t have been more helpless if he’d tied me up. And still he fed on me, sucking and licking and nipping until outright need began clamoring from my loins yet again.

  “Oses, please,” I whispered weakly.

  “Mmm,” he responded. “My little pet pussy is delicious. Nothing tastes better. I could devour it all day.”

  He went at me with more passion than before. My guts felt as if filled by thousands of butterflies, all beating their wings frantically to be set free. I wept with the beautiful torment of it. Excitement spiked higher. I was too exhausted to want to come, but Oses was driving me to the edge of climax once more. He would not be denied.

  After several minutes of continuous pleasuring, I was sobbing outright. My pussy pulsed with the need for release, desperate to orgasm even though the rest of me resisted. Seeing he had me right where he wanted me, Oses closed his lips over my swollen clit. He sucked hard, battering the distended bud with his tongue at the same time.

  I ignited. It felt as if molten lava poured from me, bathing all in fire. Finding some strength in desperation, my hips bucked hard between the ground and Oses’ face, trying to shake him off before climax destroyed me. He hung on, battening his mouth on me more firmly than ever, making me take the cataclysm.