“Did it used to?”
Thinking about it, Tempest admits, “When I first started, it did. So busy and hectic you feel…I don’t know…important? But after a while my days got so loud I sought out silence.” We make way for a skateboarder, and she watches him ride off before we continue walking up Houston. “Like that guy. I wasn’t having any fun, and I lost myself.” Cutting the air with her flattened hand she says, “I never found myself, that’s a more accurate way of describing it. I was so busy that I couldn’t find my heart. Yoga gave me that, and I get to give it to other people.” She jogs her thumb at me. “You had something to do with it.”
My voice is deepened by interest in more things than this. “I did? How?”
“You started that charity and stopped modeling. Remember when you said that you’re helping kids understand basic personal financing in order to have more power over their future? Don’t let this go to your huge ego, but I was really impressed by that. There you were, making money off of your pretty face, and you decided you wanted to help other people make money instead. Teenagers don’t understand money.”
Locking eyes with her I agree and add, “Or how the whole system works. They don’t teach it in high school. If you don’t have get a chance to go to college — or you’re not drawn to college for whatever reason — and your parents aren’t good with money — which few people are — and they pass down to you what little they know, it’s throwing chum to sharks.” Touching Tempest’s lower back for a hot second, I move us out of the way of an approaching group of tourists. “You’re in debt for life. You start thinking money is evil. When really, money gives you freedom. It makes you more of who you are, whether you have it or you don’t. If you’re an evil bastard and you have freedom, yes, you’ll hurt people. But if you have a lot of money, and you’re a good person, you can help more people.” Glancing to a tattoo parlor we pass I take note of two customers in chairs getting inked under florescent lights, the artists' backs to us. “You have any tats?”
“Not yet, but I’m going to.”
My eyebrows lift. “What’re you gonna get?”
“That’s my personal business.”
“Is it going to be visible?”
“Sometimes.”
I stop walking. “Like when your clothes are off sometimes?”
Tempest eyeballs me, a smile tugging. “Like when my hair is up sometimes.” She points to the back of her neck. “Right here.”
“Ah.” I continue walking.
“Be careful, Josh, I might think you’re flirting.”
“Definitely not flirting.”
Rolling her eyes, she laughs, “Oh believe me, I know! I was kidding.”
We turn left on 6th Avenue with Soho to our left. Tribeca, where I live, is up ahead. Where is she going that we’re heading in the same direction for this long. There are a lot of restaurants between here and home. Bars, too. The thought of it has my blood on fire.
She didn’t change after class, but a date at a dive bar wouldn’t matter since she looks great, and it’s a warm night out. Coming from a yoga class — one that she owns — would be considered hot to whoever is waiting for her, if he had half a brain. “Meeting your brother?”
“No.”
A fist tightens around my groin, but I have to ask, “A date?”
Tote swinging slightly, Tempest glances to the sidewalk. “No.”
“Chris is with Bennett tonight. Nax is at my place watching a movie with Zia and the boys.”
“Why are you so curious?” She gazes at me from the corner of eyes I’ve tried many times not to look at.
“Just asking.”
“I do have other friends.”
“Where are you guys eating tonight?”
“In a living room.”
My steps slow. “You’re going to…someone’s apartment?”
“Yes.”
I change the mat to my other arm. “But it’s not a date?”
“If it were?”
“Just asking.”
“I already answered.”
“So it’s not a date.”
“No.”
“No, it is one?”
“Josh!” Tempest laughs, “It’s not a date. And I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but quit it.”
We walk in silence to the corner of Canal where the A, C, E train stops. For eleven blocks I’ve waited for her to veer off and say goodbye, when it hits me what’s really happened. “Zia invited you to my place for a movie!”
Tempest walks sideways on Canal Street as the light stops traffic for us and thirty-plus other New Yorkers heading in both directions. “Josh…what about my cousin reading you the riot act makes you believe she’d invite me to your apartment for a fun night of rudeness and popcorn?”
Ignoring the rudeness comment I step onto the sidewalk with her and explain, “They brought you over last time. It could happen.”
She cries out, “When?! When did they bring me…” and her face goes dead, eyes darting to me, incredulous as it dawns on her what happened that night.
As the smell of old french fry grease permeates our nostrils from the garbage behind Black Burger, I solve the mystery for Tempest Tuck. “Yeah, you and I never got in a cab that night. I was sound asleep when they woke me, and not Bennett. But I would have liked to have seen you dancing on the bar. Hard to imagine that.”
Appalled, Tempest stops in front of a bus stop ad with the model’s face scratched out. “Are you telling me that my cousin dropped me off at your apartment like a sack of potatoes?!”
“Drunk potatoes.”
“I’m going to kill her!”
“Eh, it was months ago.”
“Not for me! I just found out right now!”
Tempest stews in anger and embarrassment as we pass Nancy Whiskey Pub. “Isn’t this the least grammatically correct pub title you’ve ever seen?” When I get no smile, I offer, “Okay, is it worse that she did that, or that you lied about knowing how you ended up there?”
“No!”
“But you admit you did lie.”
She stammers, “I was in a very uncomfortable position,” looking very cute while grasping for dignity, “I had no idea where I was, which is a very precarious place for a woman to be. I’m not sure if you can understand that, to be awoken by you when I thought I was in my own bed!”
Sucking in air through my teeth I switch the yoga mat back. “Another lie. And here you call me rude. At least I’m not a liar.”
Smacking my arm, she stops walking. “What’s another lie? That’s what happened!”
Turning on my heel I face her in the middle of Tribeca Park, one of the few stretches of dirt and plants that pets make the most of during their daily walks in the concrete jungle we call home, and remind Tempest Tuck, “I took your heels off when I put you to bed. I set them neatly beside it so that when you woke up you could find them. Yet, there they were on your pretty feet that you always paint a different color, under the covers when I so-called woke you up.” She follows me as I start walking, steps slower and sheepish. I glance back to add, “Oh, and that was my gum you were chewing.”
“Maybe I got it from my bag!”
“Did you?”
“No.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“But you weren’t sure.”
“You blew a bubble. I checked the pack. You took two. I know how much gum I have. Although I’ve gotta hand it to you, I’ve never been able to blow a bubble with that brand before. Guess I needed two sticks.”
“This is me.”
I freeze and look at a building I pass every day, but the cafe/gift shop just past Tribeca Tavern is closed this late on a Sunday. Pointing at the sign, I raise my eyebrows.
Tempest grabs my finger and directs it to the apartment building next door. “This is where I live.”
I stare at her as she lets go of my finger, brain scrambled by the close proximity of this building to my own. Stepping back I look up at a design dating back to the la
te 1800’s, renovated into one of the reasons I love this neighborhood best. “But you live in Brooklyn.”
Tempest’s light brown eyes become softer. Vulnerable. “I moved in with my grandparents to start my business without asking for money. I can pay one rent, not two.”
“When was this?”
“Does it matter?”
“Were you living here a couple of months ago, when you were at my place?”
“It was after that, and I’m not lying. I only lied about what I did because, as you may have guessed, I had no memory of the night before and I was embarrassed. When I heard your voice, and Will’s, I ran back into your room. I didn’t know what else to do!” Tilting her head, she smiles, “Were you wondering why I needed your coat if it was to walk just a couple of blocks?”
Stunned, I shake my head. “No, wasn’t thinking of that. Have a good night then.”
“Did you want your coat back?”
Turning on my heel I mutter, “No,” and for the short rest of the walk home I look around me in wonder, finding it hard to believe I’ve been living my lonely life every day and had no idea she was right there this whole time.
Chapter 14
Nax walks into my place, shoving my extra key back into his jeans pocket. “You rang?”
“I need you to do something for me.”
He flops onto my couch, throwing toned arms behind his grinning head, and big feet onto my coffee table. “Anything.”
“Your movie completes filming when again?”
“One week from today. Unless we go over.”
“Cool.” I pull my flyer from a kitchen drawer and toss it to Nax frisbee-style.
He mutters, “Good throw,” and reads in silence until his blue eyes darken with suspicion. “This is Tempest’s retreat in Sorrento.”
“So you knew about it already.”
“Of course I did.” He tosses it onto my coffee table, moves it with his boot heel to see it better, arms flying back behind his head, long body stretched out. “Don’t worry. I would’ve given you more notice.”
“What?”
Jogging his chin to the flyer Nax shrugs, “You thought I was going to ask you to watch Joe while I went off to Italy. But don’t worry. We’re not going. Liz is coming to town, and I want to spend as much time with him as I can so I’m staying here. Plus, Zia has to work. Especially if we’re going to take off for our honeymoon. This isn’t our trip. I would’ve told you way in advance.”
“No no no.” Sitting in my armchair I lean on my elbows. “I want you to watch Will because I’m going to that retreat.”
Nax’s arms release as he sits up straight, dropping his boots to the rug with a thud. “Come again?”
“I’m going to Sorrento.”
Nax makes a meal of his lower lip, staring at me from under confused eyebrows. “Tempest will be there.”
“That’s why I’m going.”
We’re silent until Nax jumps to his feet. “Holy Tuck, this is incredible!” He grabs my shoulders, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I’m just going to see.”
“See if you two have something worth flying to Italy for?!”
I shrug, “You could say that.”
“See if you two have something you can leave Will for a week for, and not be terrified he’s going to hurt himself?!”
“Now that’s not nice.”
Nax clamps my arms like he wants to tear them off. “Nice? Who cares about nice when something this real is going down? It’s all I can do to not throw you across the room and caterwaul Hallelujah!”
“Not sure why I’d need to be tossed for that.”
“I’d almost given up on you guys!” He paces, dragging a hand through hair that needs a barber, movie shoot days long and impossible to schedule anything else around. “I thought for sure she’d have broken through when I left her here that night, but nothing came of that.” Stopping in front of my T.V. Nax demands, “How did this happen?”
I stand up. “Wait, you brought Tempest here to set us up?”
“Well yeah! You’d never been alone with her so I thought, she’s passed out. Can’t fight me. Here’s my chance!” Nax laughs, “Tempest could’ve slept on the couch. Zia’s place is huge.”
“Are you shitting me?!!”
The door swings open and in walks Will with Elliot and the dogs. Seeing Nax they both get excited, “Is Joe here?”
My buddy’s shoulders slump, but the smile remains in his eyes. “Sorry guys, he’s still in California. Coming back next week though. But hey, guess what? You’re going to spend a whole, what is it?” Nax snatches the flyer up, reading, “Eight nights, so that’s Nine days with me when he gets here. Probably ten with layovers and time changes. Might be just me for a few of those days, but we’ll manage, right?”
Will walks up and takes the flyer. “What’s this?”
“Uh…” Nax looks at me.
“I wanted to see if it was possible first.”
“It’s possible.”
“Great,” I dryly toss back. “Thanks.”
My son looks from Nax to the flyer to me. “Are you going to Italy, Dad?”
“Will, can we talk for a second?”
Nax takes the leash from my son. “Elliot and I will give the dogs a longer walk, right Elliot?”
“Why do we have to leave?”
“This is a big talk.”
“Big talk,” he repeats, following Nax out. “Will, if you need me, you can call.”
My son nods, “Thanks,” reminding me of my friends. He’s almost a teenager — a year to go — and it’s going to be too soon that he becomes a man. It’s times like this that remind me that he’s not just an extension of me, but his own person.
As the door shuts, I sit on my armchair.
“Dad, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong exactly. But I need to discuss something that’s uh…hard for me to talk about.”
He clasps his hands and sets them onto his lap. “Okay.”
“You know how much I miss your mom.”
Will frowns. “I miss her, too.”
“I’ll always miss her.”
“I hope not, Dad.”
My eyes narrow in surprise. “What do you mean you hope not?”
“I don’t think she’d want you to miss her forever.” Will says with an earnest look in the eyes he inherited from Leah. Reminding me so much of her he wisely says, “It’s too painful. I don’t think she’d want us in pain, do you? Mom never liked it when we hurt.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Your mom would never want you in pain, William.”
“Or you.”
A sharp breath fights back my tears. “I’ve got something to ask you, and it’s okay if you say no. The flyer, the trip to Italy — it’s a yoga retreat.”
“Yeah, I read it. But what’s a yoga retreat?”
Dragging my hair back I stare at the flyer, wondering if it’s okay to really want this. “It’s like a vacation. but with a lesson plan for relaxation.”
Will scrunches his nose. “That doesn’t sound fun.”
“I wouldn’t have thought so either.”
“Then why go?”
I struggle for how to say this, blinking at him. If he says no, I’ll accept that. It’s Will first. It has to be. I have a responsibility as a father to give him a foundation that will create the man he is meant to be. His mother was supposed to help balance that, but we didn’t get the fairy tale. Am I wrong to want one? To think maybe Tempest might be someone we could both love? “Will, I’ve been scared of asking you this. Your dad has been scared of a lot of things since your mom left us here alone. I know that’s been difficult for you to understand since I was never like that before. Losing her made me doubt everything. Made me forget the courage I used to have. I know you know this, but it’s important for me to say it aloud: I’ve been a wreck for a long time. Over-protective of you. No fun to be around. Closed off. Depressed. I’ve been afraid
of losing you. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of life. People helped me through it and I’m starting to see light at the end of a very dark cave I’ve been living in. Nax came and stayed with us. Helped get me on track. Christina woke up my desire to help people again. But lately I’ve been waking up to something I didn’t know I wanted. Something I’m not sure I believe I should want.” Tears jump to my eyes and I bow my head. “It’s okay for a man to struggle as long as he gets to the other side.”
“You’ve been doing better, Dad.”
On a deep breath I smile, “Thank you. What I’m trying to say is, I’ve been thinking about dating someone.”
Will sits back on the couch in surprise. “Online dating?”
“No!” My swinging arm dispels that idea. “Not that. It’s Tempest who’s running that retreat, and I thought I’d fly over there and see if there’s something between us.” I lock eyes with my son, Leah staring back at me from him. “Would you hate me if I tried to love again?”
Will burst into tears and leaps off the couch, running into my arms. “I want you to be happy! I hate it when you’re sad.”
I rock him, tears falling onto his soft hair. “You like Tempest, right?” He nods into my chest. “You feel guilty for saying that?” He nods again, sniffling. “That’s okay if you do. I do, too. I knew your mom better than anyone. If she’s watching us, and I believe she is, there is no way she’d want us to be alone. Your mom always said that men need women to balance them out. Like with a lot of things, I’m starting to believe she was right.”
“Can I go to Italy with you?”
I look down into his wrecked face. “Not this time, buddy.”
“Why not?! I like Tempest!”
“Yeah, I noticed,” I smile, pushing shaggy bangs from his face. “But the problem is I’ve treated Tempest pretty poorly. I did that because I was attracted to her, and didn’t want to be. I was so good at fooling myself that she believes I hate her. So I have to go and win her over, if I can.”
“Can’t I help?”
Grimacing, I admit, “It’s possible she’s not as interested as I thought she was in me. It could be bad for her to have to say no to both of us. I don’t want to put her in that position. Or you. So I’m not making any promises with this trip. I’m just…giving it a try. But I didn’t want to go without your blessing. And I couldn’t ask for that unless I had Nax’s word that he could take care of you. Bennett’s got a lot on his plate right now. Plus, Nax is nicer anyway.”
Every Single Thing About You: A “Tuck Yes” Love Story - Book 3 Page 8