Irish
Page 4
“What about you?” she asked. “Would you find someone else?”
I shrugged. “Honestly? I probably would have continued on the way I have the last five years. But if you’re asking if I’d have ever taken an old lady or gotten married? Probably not.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Seamus. I never have. I waited for you, and when you never came for me, I decided I was going to come to you. I just didn’t expect…” She bit her lip. “My mom tried to warn me. She told me that you weren’t the same guy I’d met before. She said you were wild now, but I didn’t listen. If I’d just stayed home…”
“Hey,” I said, reaching for her hand again. “None of this is your fault, baby. Not even a little. You want to blame someone, you blame me. I was an asshole and you ran from me. If I’d handled things differently, then you never would have been on that road.”
“Seamus, I…”
“You’re grounded until you’re ninety,” growled a voice behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Tex and Kalani.
“Daddy, I’m sorry,” Janessa said. “I just wanted to come see Seamus, and I knew you wouldn’t let me.”
“So, you convinced your mom to let you go,” Tex said as he came farther into the room. “Do you have any idea what it did to her knowing that you were hurt? She’d let you leave, and then we get a call that you’re in the hospital.”
Kalani placed a hand on his arm. “You’re going to upset her.”
“We should keep her calm,” I said. “She already flatlined once.”
Janessa gasped. “I did?”
Tex glared at me and I winced. Probably shouldn’t have said that, at least not where Janessa could hear me. I had a feeling her daddy-dearest would be having a conversation with me soon, and might possibly use his fists to drive home his point. I didn’t think he’d care that I hadn’t made him cool his heels in the waiting room on purpose.
“I died?” Janessa asked softly.
“Yeah, sweetheart. You did,” I said, taking her hand. “Scared the shit out of me. I was talking to you, trying to get you to wake up, and the next minute you flatlined and a siren went off. When they kicked me out of here, I was scared you weren’t coming back.”
I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Kalani standing next to me.
“Thank you for being here for our daughter,” she said. “The nurses said you refused to leave her side.”
“They also said you’re her fucking fiancé,” Tex said. “And I know that can’t be true, so what the hell is going on? How is it Janessa is lying here if she was with you?”
I knew I had to tell them, that they would find out sooner or later. I only hoped it didn’t cause a problem between our clubs. With Tank’s sister married to Jackal, and my VP’s daughter married to Bull, the last thing we needed was a war starting between us, all because I fucked up. It was my fault, though. I’d almost lost Janessa because I was an idiot. Tex wouldn’t care that I was sorry.
“I fucked up,” I said.
“Seamus, I told you it wasn’t your fault,” Janessa said, sounding tired.
I focused on her, giving her hand a slight squeeze. She gave me a small smile, and then her eyes started to close. I felt my heart stop for a second as my gaze jerked to the monitors, scared shitless that I was about to lose her again, but it seemed she was only sleeping.
“You let her call you that?” Tex asked. “You earned the name Irish.”
My lips twitched in amusement. “As your daughter pointed out, I may have earned the name Irish with my club, but I haven’t earned shit with her and she’ll call me whatever the hell she wants. I’m paraphrasing, mostly.”
Kalani moved to Janessa’s other side and smoothed her hair back. “She never did pull any punches. Once she was secure with the Dixie Reapers, and the threat of the asylum was gone, Janessa got stronger and sassier. I sometimes wish I was half as strong as she is.”
Tex went to his wife, pulling her against his side. “You are one of the strongest women I know. Our daughter wouldn’t be half as amazing as she is if it weren’t for you. And if you hadn’t sacrificed yourself, she might not be here at all. I love you and so does Janessa.”
Kalani nodded but didn’t take her gaze off her daughter.
“Janessa came to see me, but I wasn’t expecting her,” I said. “I didn’t react well, so she ran. If I had handled things differently, she wouldn’t have been on that road.”
“It’s not your fault she showed up out of the blue,” Tex said. “As often as she’s talked about you, asked if you were coming to the compound, I should have known she would eventually come to the Devils’ territory.”
“None of us is to blame,” Kalani said. “The men who did this to her, that’s who we blame. I want them found, and I want them to pay.”
“Your wife is right,” I said. “Janessa said the men who beat her wore cuts, but she didn’t see a name. Only a skull with flames.”
Tex started swearing and pacing the small space. Good to know I wasn’t the only one alarmed. If the Dixie Reapers and Devil’s Boneyard came together, then maybe this could be handled before the Highway Patrol got close enough to ask more questions. Although, the look on the officer’s face told me that they might already know quite a bit.
Chapter Three
Janessa
It took three days before they moved me from ICU to a regular hospital room, but I still felt like I wasn’t any closer to going home. I’d been here another two days since then, but the doctor wanted to keep me a little longer. Not that the police wanted me to leave the area even when I was released from this horrid place.
That wasn’t entirely fair. The nurses and doctors had been great, but I was a lousy patient. Ever since the asylum, I hadn’t done well being in places like this. I wasn’t chained to the bed, and no one was hurting me, but it didn’t stop me from remembering. Every time I drifted to sleep and woke up alone, my heart raced and I had this sudden fear that I was locked away again. My mom had been diagnosed with PTSD after we’d been rescued, but times like this made me wonder if I didn’t have it too.
My parents had been taking turns sitting with me until I’d chased them both off. I loved them, but they were driving me crazy. I hadn’t had any alone time with Seamus since being moved from the ICU. As soon as my parents left the room together, Seamus claimed the chair next to my bed. He didn’t say anything yet, and the contemplative look on his face didn’t tell me much. I reached for him and he grasped my hand, but there was a distance in his eyes that hadn’t been there when I’d first woken in the ICU. It was like the Seamus who had poured his heart out to me had vanished once my parents entered the room. I wanted him back, but I didn’t know how to make that happen.
“Seamus, what’s wrong?” I asked, unable to take the pensive silence another moment.
“I’m surprised your parents left you alone with me. I don’t think your dad is too happy right now. I’d go so far as to say that if we weren’t in this hospital, he’d have tried to remove my balls already for daring to hurt his baby girl. Can’t say that I blame him.”
“Would you stop blaming yourself?” I asked.
“You can do so much better than me, Nessa. Why didn’t you go to college? You could have met some nice guy, someone educated. I’ve fought hard to get where I am, but there’s blood on my hands, baby.”
“Do you think my dad’s hands are any cleaner, Seamus? Or anyone else with the Dixie Reapers? They’re my family, and I know they keep me safe. Just like you would keep me safe.”
He smiled faintly. “I’m glad you have that much faith in me.”
“Seamus, I… I know you think I’m too young, but I’ve known for five years you were the one I wanted. That hasn’t changed. It hurt, seeing you with that blonde, and it hurts even more knowing there were others. A lot of others. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t bother me because it does.”
“I know, and I’m so damn sorry, Nessa. If I could take it all back, I would. I didn’t think I ever
had a shot with you.”
“So, what happens now?” I asked.
He laced his fingers with mine, then leaned over and gently kissed me. His lips were soft, yet firm as they brushed against mine, and I heard the heart monitor go crazy as my heart started racing. He chuckled softly and pulled back.
“Guess I shouldn’t do that again until you’re out of the hospital,” he said.
“But you do want to do it again?”
“Oh, yeah. I could kiss you all day long.”
I bit my lip, wondering if he’d think I was a bitch for saying what was about to come out of my mouth, but all things considered… “Seamus, I don’t want you to be offended, but considering your past, if we’re going to explore this more, I’d really like for you to get tested.”
He sat back, the smile wiped from his face. “That’s a fair enough thing to ask. I only wish you didn’t feel it was necessary, but I understand. For the record, I’ve never been with a woman without a condom.”
“I’m sorry for asking you to get tested, but I’d feel better if you did. I think we all know that condoms aren’t foolproof. Neither is the pill from what I’ve heard. There’s no guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy except not having sex. And while I’m sure the condoms kept you safe enough, what if they didn’t? Are you willing to chance it?”
What I was really asking was if he was willing to risk him carrying something and passing it to me, but I didn’t want to put it quite that way. I didn’t want to be a complete bitch about it, but I seriously was concerned. If he’d been with that many women, and they looked as skanky as the ones at the clubhouse the night I’d gotten in town, then I definitely wanted to make sure he hadn’t contracted something. I wanted to be with Seamus, but I also wanted to know for certain that it was safe for us to be together. If that made me mean, then so be it.
“If that’s what you want, then I’ll run over to the clinic after your parents get back. I’m sure those tests take a few days or more to get results back.”
“You don’t hate me for asking?”
He leaned over and kissed me again, briefly. “No, I don’t hate you, Nessa. It’s smart for me to get tested. I know a lot of the guys make it a regular thing every six months.”
“Maybe I should have one done too,” I said.
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes, but…” I looked at the healing wounds on my arms and thought about those men and what they’d done to me. “What if they infected me with something? They urinated on me, and who knows how clean their knives were?”
“I’ll ask your doctor if he already ran some tests. Try not to worry about it, baby. You’re already stressed enough without adding more to it.”
“You’re going to come back, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Your parents would probably like some alone time with you. There are some things I should take care of, but I’ll come back tomorrow morning. I also want to check in with Cinder and Scratch, see if they have any leads on who did this to you. The police don’t seem to have anything concrete and I want these bastards caught and punished. You know how the law works. They need hard evidence to make a move, and right now it’s just your word against theirs.”
“Be safe, Seamus. I don’t want to lose you,” I said.
“Baby, I’m not going anywhere. If you’re sure I’m who you want, then not even your daddy will get in my way. I won’t let him, or anyone else. You’re the only woman I want, Nessa. I should have come to you sooner, and I’m damn sorry I didn’t.”
I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. He didn’t have a full beard, but his whiskers scraped my palm. I had to admit I kind of liked him looking all rough and rumpled. He’d run his hand through his hair a million times, and it stuck out here and there. But it was his eyes that drew me in the most. Those eyes had haunted me for years, and they were no less potent now.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that he was the only man I’d ever wanted. I wanted to beg him to let me stay, to make me his in every way that mattered. Instead, I just looked into those mesmerizing eyes and smiled softly at him. If he said he’d come back, then I’d have to trust he’d be back. Yes, he’d hurt me, but part of loving someone was forgiving them. Although, if we were truly going to be together, the next time one of those sluts dared to touch him, I might have to kick a little ass and show those bitches they shouldn’t mess with the daughter of a Reaper and the old lady of a Devil.
I could hear my mom and dad coming down the hall and I tugged Seamus closer, pressing my lips to his again. “Come back to me,” I said.
“You’re going to have a hard time getting rid of me.” He smiled and stood as my parents walked in.
Dad gave him the death stare, but Seamus just gave my parents a wave and stepped out into the hall. After the door shut behind him, my dad approached the bed. The harsh look he’d given Seamus melted away as he came closer. Dad might not have been part of my life until I was fourteen, but he’d made up for lost time, and I had no doubt that he loved me. Unfortunately, he sometimes showed that love by being overprotective.
“Daddy, you know I love you, right?” I asked.
“Yeah, baby girl. I know you love me.”
“Then remember that I say this with love. Back off! You know how I feel about Seamus and all the dark looks you’re throwing his way aren’t going to do anything but make my life more difficult.”
Kalani patted his arm. “She’s all grown up, Houston. We can’t keep her locked away forever. You knew that sooner or later she’d want to live her own life.”
I wasn’t sure what surprised me more. My mom using my dad’s real name, since she usually called him Tex like everyone else, or the fact she was agreeing with me. I’d had to fight her just to get this far, and now she was siding with me? After the incident on the road, I’d thought they’d both try to put me on lockdown for the next twenty years.
“I was hoping she’d be more like twenty-five when she decided to go after a guy,” my dad said.
“I love you, Daddy, but since when has a Reaper or a Devil ever settled with a woman that old? Face it. You bikers like the young ones, which means I’m at the perfect age for Seamus.”
He snorted, but I noticed he didn’t argue with me. He couldn’t because he knew I was telling the truth. Even Mom hadn’t been much older than I was now when Dad had married her. Didn’t mean he had to like that I was right, but the sooner he realized I was all grown up and not just his little girl, the better. At least, it was better for me. I would always be a daddy’s girl, but I was ready to start my life, have a home of my own, and a man I could love -- and I knew the guy I wanted was Seamus. It had always been Seamus. “When they release me from the hospital, I’m not going home with you,” I said.
“Now wait one damn minute --” Dad was about to really get wound up, but Mom made him shut up.
“Let her speak,” Mom said. “And for once, actually listen to what she has to say instead of trying to steamroll her.”
“Fine,” Dad muttered.
“I’ve known for five years that Seamus was the only guy I wanted. I want to see if we can make things work, and for that to happen, I need to be here. Besides, the police would like me to stay nearby in case they think of more questions or need to me to identify any suspects.” I reached out and took my dad’s hand. “I love you, Daddy. You and Mom, but I’m suffocating at the compound. Please understand that it’s time for me to leave the nest.”
“If he hurts you, I’ll tear him to pieces,” my dad said.
“And he’s well aware of that,” I said. “The only reason he didn’t come for me sooner is because of you, Daddy. He was worried you wouldn’t approve of him, that you didn’t think he was worthy of me.”
“He’s not,” Dad said.
“And who is?” I asked.
My dad just shrugged, which told me enough. My mom sighed and hip-checked him so he’d move out of the way, then she leaned over and kissed my forehead.
“You will always be our baby girl,” she said. “But I understand that you’re ready to grow up. We love you, and you will always have a place in our home. If things don’t work out with Seamus, then you come back to us. We’ll leave your room just the way it is for right now.”
“Love you too. Both of you.”
A nurse poked her head through the doorway and smiled brightly. “Miss Rodriguez, your fiancé said you had some questions. I thought I’d see if I could answer them, and if not, I’ll page your doctor.”
I glanced at my parents before facing the nurse again. They might not want to hear what I was about to ask, but I couldn’t wait around for them to leave the room again. Besides, knowing my dad, it had already crossed his mind.
“I know what happened to me, and I was wondering if the doctors ran any tests to see if those men passed any diseases along to me? I mean, their knives could have been dirty, and I was told they urinated on me after I’d been cut. I can only imagine what types of things they could have given me.”
The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile. “Of course, you’d be worried about something like that. The doctors did request some tests, and they’ve all come back negative. You’re a very lucky young lady, even if you don’t feel like it right now.”
“Thank you,” I said.
My dad stomped out of the room and Mom just shook her head as she watched him. I had a feeling if we’d been at home, he’d have put his fist through a wall. Dad didn’t lose his temper often, and when he did, he never took it out on us, but he’d been known to put a hole or two in the sheetrock. He always patched it the next day and apologized to Mom. I think he worried about scaring her, even though he’d treated her like a queen since the day he’d found her.
“So you’re going to stay here,” Mom said after we were alone again. “Does that mean you’re going to stay with Irish?”
“Yes. I think we’ve come to an understanding of sorts. It doesn’t mean he’s claiming me right now, even though I’d agree if that’s what he wanted to do. I’m hoping we’ll get some alone time so we have a chance to figure out whether or not there’s an us. Like everyone keeps pointing out, it’s been five years, and we didn’t know each other all that well back then. We need the time and space to explore things a little and see if we’re a good fit.”