by Harley Wylde
Mom smiled faintly. “That’s a very adult thing to say. I’m proud of you, Janessa. I know I was against you running off and coming here, and it hurts knowing you were attacked, but maybe this is what you need right now. Best case, you discover that he’s everything you’ve dreamed about and the two of you become a couple. Worst case, you find out you aren’t well-matched and you come home, and this time you can look at the guys around you with open eyes.”
“You just want me to hook up with a Dixie Reaper so I’ll be close to home. The only one I don’t consider an uncle is Saint, and he’s more like a brother than a boyfriend. Sorry, Mom. You’re just going to have to deal with the fact I won’t be living at the compound all my life.”
“You know I love you and just want what’s best for you. If you think that’s Irish, then I hope you’re right. Your happiness means a lot to me,” Mom said.
“You’re the best mom ever, you know that, right? You didn’t have to protect me at the asylum, you didn’t have to treat me like your daughter when you married my dad, but you’ve always made sure I was cared for and loved. I don’t care if we don’t share the same blood. You’re the only mother I remember, and the only one I want.”
My mom sniffled, and I saw her eyes start to fill with tears. She gave me a smile and squeezed my hand. “I couldn’t love you more if I’d given birth to you, Janessa. You’re a gift that I’m thankful for every day. I’ll miss you if you decide not to come home.”
I gave her a sly look. “You know, you’re not that old. At twenty-seven, you could easily have another baby. Maybe two. I don’t think Dad would argue if you said you wanted more kids. The two of you are awesome parents, even if Dad can be overbearing at times. Besides, Noah and Clayton could use a little brother or sister.”
“Noah was a miracle. Your dad and I discussed it and decided that it would be better if we didn’t have more kids, then Clayton came along as a complete surprise. Your dad hasn’t advertised it, but he had a vasectomy after Clayton. He’d talked about getting one after Noah, but he missed his appointment. My pregnancy with Clayton was rough, and the doctor said it would be best if we didn’t have more babies.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I had no idea. I’d thought you just didn’t want more right now.”
She sat in the chair next to the bed and reached for my hand again. “The three of you are a blessing to me. As much as I would love a houseful of kids, it just wasn’t meant to be. Besides, keeping up with Noah and Clayton is a full-time job.”
“Speaking of… where are they? You and Dad have been here almost twenty-four hours a day since I woke up in ICU. Who’s taking care of my brothers?” I asked.
“Scratch and Clarity offered. The boys have been having fun with their two sons. Noah is thrilled someone else has his name.”
“How weird is that?” I asked. “It’s not like Scratch didn’t know about Noah. Did he just like the name or something?”
“From what Clarity said, they had planned to call him Nolen but somewhere between the labor and delivery, when the forms were filled out, Noah was put on his birth certificate so they just went with it. He’s a cutie,” Kalani said.
“Hard to believe that it wasn’t all that long ago none of the bikers we know had kids, and now it seems they’re popping up everywhere.”
Mom arched a brow at me. “And if you and Irish hit it off, you’d better use double protection or you’ll be next on the list of mommies. If the Devil’s Boneyard men are half as potent as the Reapers, you’ll be knocked up if he just gives you a certain look.”
I snickered but knew she wasn’t wrong. At nineteen, I wasn’t ready for kids yet. I loved my brothers, and I’d babysat them plenty, and it had proven to me that I needed a little more time before I had one of my own. But I definitely wanted children someday. I figured Seamus would prefer not to use condoms -- didn’t most guys? -- but we hadn’t discussed whether or not I’d be on birth control. Even though I was a virgin, I’d been on the pill for four years. When I’d turned fifteen, my periods had been so heavy and painful, Mom had asked Dr. Myron if there was something that could help.
My brow furrowed as I realized I hadn’t been taking them since I’d been in the hospital. I’d packed them, but they were probably in my bag, wherever that was. I knew my truck had been impounded so it was possible my bag was still in the truck. I didn’t know what length of recovery I would have before Seamus and I could be intimate, but I should probably talk to the doctor before I was checked out, whenever that would be. The last thing I needed was a surprise pregnancy.
I didn’t think Seamus would be too thrilled over having a baby right away either. We hadn’t really discussed children, but after he’d been kicking up his heels the last five years, I didn’t think he wanted diaper duty our first year together. If we even decided we had a future. As much as I thought I loved the man, maybe living with him would make me change my mind. Maybe I’d built him up in my head to be something he wasn’t, or maybe we just wouldn’t mesh well at all and would fight constantly.
I was trying to look at this logically, even though I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him to never let me go. I hadn’t done a single impulsive thing in my life, until I’d come here uninvited, and look how that had turned out. No, I needed to keep my head on straight and not rush into something. If life had taught me anything, it was that making a rash decision could have bad consequences. Not that I was sorry my dad had knocked up my mom, because I was really grateful to be alive, but my grandparents had tried to ruin my dad’s life and had damn near ruined mine, all because of two impetuous kids rushing into something.
Whenever I got out of this hospital, I’d go with Seamus and we’d talk and get to know one another, as adults this time. I’d just have to remind my surging hormones that I needed to go slow. It wouldn’t be easy, especially since his kisses were so damn addictive. Already, I was looking forward to the next time I could feel his lips on mine. And if that felt sinful, I could only imagine how wonderful the rest would be. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy moving slowly with Seamus. If I fucked this up, my parents would never let me hear the end of it.
Chapter Four
Irish
The last few days, I’d rushed to get things ready for Janessa to come home with me. The hospital was finally releasing her. She’d been in ICU for several days, then in a regular room another four. Her bruises were starting to fade, and her cuts were scabbed over and nearly healed, except the few that had required stitches, but even the sutures had been removed from those. The doctor had cautioned me about her bruised ribs, but had said that intimacy wasn’t out of the question if we were careful. My heart had started racing at the thought of having Janessa in my bed. I didn’t want her to feel rushed, though, not after we’d been apart for the past five years. We were pretty much strangers, even if she had starred in my dreams for so damn long. Innocent ones at first, then after I’d realized she was legal, the dreams had shifted and I’d stopped thinking about her as a kid.
Which was probably why I found myself in the shower, the hot water beating down on me as I gripped my cock. Just thinking about Janessa made me hard. I braced a hand against the tiled wall and closed my eyes, wishing it was her hand on me. I stroked the shaft, long hard pulls, and imagine what she’d look like on her knees, her big eyes staring up at me. I groaned as I pictured her with pre-cum painting her lips before she sucked me. It only took a few more tugs before I was coming, jets of cum painting the shower wall, and even then I wasn’t satisfied.
My breathing was labored and I stared at my cock in frustration, since I was still mostly hard. It wasn’t the first time I’d jerked off since reconnecting with Janessa, and I doubted it would be the last. I didn’t kid myself and knew that she would need time to recover. The last thing she needed was me bending her over every surface in the house the second we walked through the door, even if that thought had been fueling my fantasies the last few days.
I got out and dried o
ff, wiping the steam from the mirror. I hoped she’d be happy here, that she’d like our new home. When the new compound had opened and everyone had moved from our previous location, Cinder had given each patched member the option to have a house inside the gates. Scratch still kept his Victorian in town, and Jackal seemed content with the home he shared with his family. Everyone else had opted to have a house built, including me.
I hadn’t seen myself settling down at the time, and now I regretted it. I’d asked for a small two-bedroom, but if things worked with Janessa and we had kids someday, then we might need more room. Which was part of what I’d been working on while she was waiting to be released. I knew we’d want more space, something that we could make into a real home. A house that Janessa would be proud to call her own.
Cinder and Scratch had agreed that if I was seriously thinking about taking an old lady that I would need something bigger. They’d offered me a different home and said they’d have my current one remodeled for someone else to use later, unless anyone wanted to claim it as is. I knew there were a few brothers who swore they’d never have kids. I’d had the Prospects move my shit from my house over to a new location. There had been a vacant four-bedroom farther down the road from the clubhouse, but now I had a lot of empty rooms. I’d wanted everything to be perfect when I brought Janessa home, but it wasn’t meant to be. At least I had my bedroom and living room furnished, and I’d already put all my bathroom shit in here.
I glanced at the counter and saw the razor I seldom used, my comb, and the few other products I used. Janessa had liked the cologne I’d worn back when we’d met, and I’d never been able to change after that. I’d kept wearing it, if only because I knew she’d liked it. I’d caught her sniffing me a few times since we’d reconnected, so it seemed she still liked the scent.
I had a true bachelor pad before this house. I didn’t even own fucking plates, or I hadn’t until now. Not only had my furniture and few possessions been moved to the new house, but I’d also gone shopping and bought the essentials, like cookware, plates, and other kitchen shit. I’d also picked up some new towels and bought some girly scented crap for Janessa. I’d remembered she smelled like cherry blossoms before and picked a few things in that scent, hoping she still liked it.
Clarity and Josie had made some suggestions on stocking my fridge and pantry. I probably should have just asked Kalani, but I wasn’t sure how she and Tex felt about their daughter staying with me. Well, I knew how Tex felt. He was fucking pissed about it, but by some miracle, Kalani had convinced him to let Janessa live her own life.
There was no way in fucking hell I was putting Janessa on the back of my bike, not right now. I’d already arranged to use one of the club vehicles until we had her truck out of the impound. Tex hadn’t been able to pull the truck, something about Janessa having to sign off since her name was on the registration, which meant they hadn’t allowed anything to be removed from the vehicle either. I’d need to make room in the dresser for when she did have her things.
Just the thought of whether or not she wore cotton or lace had me groaning and looking down at my wayward cock. Fuck if the thought of her wearing barely there scraps of cloth didn’t make me hard as a fucking post again. I glanced at my phone on the counter and saw that I was about ten minutes ahead of schedule, which meant I had just enough time to attempt exorcising the demons before I saw Janessa.
I dropped my towel and reached for the lube I kept in the bathroom, then slicked my shaft with the cool gel. My hand didn’t feel anywhere near as good as I imagined Janessa’s would, or her mouth. I stroked faster, my grip a little harder as I chased another orgasm, but I knew it probably wouldn’t be enough. Since seeing her again, nothing was as good as the real thing would be. I groaned as I came, my dick twitching in my hand. It took me a few minutes to clean up myself and the bathroom, then I finished getting ready and left to get my woman.
The black SUV was comfortable enough, but I hated riding around inside a vehicle. I much preferred the wind in my hair and the thrum of my bike between my legs. But for Janessa, I’d suffer through the torture of being in a metal box on wheels. When I got to the hospital, I parked at the curb near the door and waited. Tex had assured me he’d get Janessa down to the car. He’d convinced Kalani to hang out with Clarity and the kids. I hoped like hell he didn’t plan to follow me home. I didn’t want him hanging over us like a dark cloud when Janessa saw the house for the first time.
Tex wheeled Janessa out of the hospital, and I jumped out of the SUV. I pulled open the passenger door, then stood back as Tex lifted his daughter into the vehicle. He buckled her in like she was still a little girl, then gave her a kiss on the forehead. When he backed away and shut the door, he turned to face me. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes, as well as the promise he’d fucking kill me if I hurt his daughter. I could respect that. He stared at me a moment, but didn’t say a word, then he turned and walked off.
I blew out a breath and got behind the wheel of the SUV. Janessa gazed at me with a smile curving her lips. I reached over and took her hand, then lifted it to kiss the backs of her fingers.
“Alone at last,” I said.
“I love my parents, but I’m glad they’re giving us some space.”
“How much space, exactly?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I think they’re staying in town for at least a few days. Noah and Clayton were having fun playing with Scratch’s kids. Honestly, I think this is the first time Mom and Dad have been away from the compound overnight since Clayton was born.”
“About my house…”
“What about it?” she asked.
“I just moved so I don’t have all my rooms furnished yet. It’s kind of bare. Didn’t want you to be disappointed when you see it. I have all the important shit like towels and kitchen stuff.”
“Seamus, I don’t care about that stuff. I just want to be with you.”
“I, um, only have one bedroom set up. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I could feel her staring at me as I drove toward the compound. I didn’t know if she was pissed that I said I would sleep on the couch, or if she just didn’t know what to make of the entire situation. The quiet was a little disconcerting, but I was clueless as to what to fucking say. I wasn’t used to driving around with a woman. I’d never allowed one on the back of my bike, and I’d sure as hell not been in a closed vehicle with one. Not in a long-ass time anyway.
At the compound, Killian opened the gates and waved us through. I’d have to talk to Cinder about tightening security with Janessa at my place. Jordan lived here with Havoc, but she could also take care of herself pretty damn well. It wasn’t often that Clarity or Josie stopped by, but I knew they got together around town all the time. We hadn’t had a woman visit the new compound before, especially an unclaimed one, except the club sluts. If the assholes who hurt my woman found out she was still alive and might be able to ID them, I had no doubt they’d come for her. I didn’t like the thought of the Prospects not checking to see who they were letting into the compound. Yeah, I was in a vehicle owned by the club, but it wasn’t unique. What if someone driving an SUV just like it had pulled through the gates instead of me?
I didn’t kid myself. I was low on the totem pole, but I was sure that Cinder would agree that Janessa needed to be protected at all costs. I hadn’t made her my old lady yet, but it was a possibility, and she was a Reaper’s daughter. We had a truce with that club, along with a few others, and if Janessa got injured on our watch there would be hell to pay. Even if I never made anything official, she was mine. Would always be mine. Whether she agreed to be mine permanently or not, she was the only woman I’d ever consider my property.
I pulled to a stop in front of my new house and tried to judge Janessa’s expression to see what she thought. The woman wasn’t easy to read at all. She got out of the car, whimpering a little and clutching her ribs. I cursed and went after her.
“You couldn’t wait for m
e to help you out of the car?” I asked.
“I’m not an invalid, Seamus.”
“You have bruised ribs and you’re still healing. You aren’t an invalid, but you also aren’t at full strength. Everyone needs help sometimes, Nessa.”
She sighed and looked from me to the house again. Without waiting for help, because she was apparently a stubborn-ass mule, she let herself inside, then wandered from room to room. I shut the front door and twisted the lock, not wanting any surprises. I waited in the front entry, thinking Janessa would come back this way when she’d finished looking around. I was wrong. I heaved a sigh and went in search of her, smiling a little when I saw her stretched out on the bed. She’d obviously found my clothes since she’d pulled on a T-shirt and didn’t seem to have anything under it. She was more beautiful than I’d imagined, and I’d imagined plenty over the past year.
“I see you found something to wear,” I said.
She cracked an eye open and looked at me. “After wearing that horrid hospital gown for so long, I was ready for something comfortable. It was nice of the hospital to let me have a pair of scrubs since the police kept my clothes as evidence, but they felt weird.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t go straight for the shower.”
“Are you saying I smell?”
I opened and shut my mouth. Well, I’d stepped in it that time.
“No, you don’t stink, Nessa. I just figured you’d want to relax and maybe smell like something other than antibacterial soap.”
“I think I want a nap,” she said. “Are you okay with that?”