“Rainmaker sounds intriguing. Is he trained?”
“Of course, he’s trained. After all, he’s my horse,” Gloria said and she waved her hand like a ballet move across the three dogs heeling in unison beside her to remind me of her training prowess. “But he is a handful and not for inexperienced riders. My stable hand refers to him as Brain Wracker, not Rainmaker. I find it only mildly funny.”
Gloria gave me this speech in her deep, confident voice without smiling. I couldn’t tell if she was kidding or what, so I just said, “Bring on the stallion!” Something fun might happen today after all.
I could tell by her smile that she liked that response. Maybe she’d get so interested in the horses and the sunset ride, she’d forget to ask about the case.
“We can talk about all your findings in the Yellow Flower investigation as we wind our way through the Sedona trails on my favorite ride,” she said, squelching that thought like a baby mosquito slapped flat during its very first bite.
At least I’ll be riding some kind of fabled golden stallion while I tell my sorry tale, I thought as we sauntered down the hill to the north of her property. Geo’s warning about telling a good story rang in my ears and I tried to position what I was going to say in my head in readiness. Gloria had released the three dogs, letting them run. They glided in and out among the pines playing some kind of doggie hide and seek, their golden, feathery tails waving like flags in the air. Every once in a while Snack would leap straight up in the air when Kachina would get the drop on him, sneak up behind him, and snap him lightly on the tail. He’d try to gain the upper hand, but she was older, wiser and still very fast.
Just like Gloria, I thought, as shortly later we’d saddled our two steeds with Western saddles and were preparing to mount. Gloria explained that All That Glitters was the registered name of her mare, but Gloria called her Glitter Girl. Magnificent was the word that came to mind when looking at either horse. They both had snowy white manes and tails. Their thick tails touched the ground and their manes hung well below their necks. Glitter Girl’s color was the standard glossy gold most people associate with the palomino coloring. Brain Wracker er Rainmaker’s coloring was more on the dark, coppery side with a smattering of lighter gold dappling across his rump and shoulders. He had huge, almost black, wide set eyes, a striking white blaze down his face and four white stockings reaching just about knee height on each leg. I was sure he was worth more money than I could ever imagine. He flared his nostrils and snorted at me as I approached him to get on.
“Anything special I need to know about this horse before I mount him, Gloria?” She was already astride Glitter Girl surveying the Sedona countryside.
“He has more issues than a magazine rack,” Gloria said smiling, “But since you are a self-professed top notch rider, and he needs some exercise, I think it will be a great match. Be forewarned that he does like to rear when you first get on and occasionally he takes the opportunity to rear again and do a little bucking at key points in your ride, especially if we pass a mare in heat, at which point he turns into a fierce stud and is nearly unmanageable, but I’m sure you can handle him.”
I was strong and experienced, so this description didn’t bother me too much except for one thing, “Does he ever rear over backwards?” A horse willing or crazy enough to rear completely over backwards to dump the rider puts both the rider and the horse at great risk. It’s hard to get off in time, especially on a Western saddle, before you are crushed by the weight of the horse crashing down on you. Further, the horse can break its back or incur other harm to itself during an over-the-top backwards rear.
“Only twice in my experience,” Gloria quipped and turned Glitter Girl to face the trail heading out. “Both times the horse and I came out of it alive as you can see.”
I gulped, gathered the reins, grabbed the saddle horn and swung neatly up into the saddle. Rainmaker stood trembling—a piston winding up to explode. Then he crouched back on his hind quarters like a loaded spring and flung his front hooves into the air pawing and scraping at the sky. I gripped with my legs to keep from being thrown off backwards, then I pulled his head down and in, squeezed my heels with authority into his sides and commanded him to Behave! in a stern voice. He leaped forward down the trail after Gloria. I’d successfully survived rear number one. It promised to be one hell of ride on so many levels it was mind-boggling.
Brain Wracker proved to be a prancer and a dancer. Some horses are so enthralled with themselves and have so much pent-up energy that they can’t really walk like normal horses; they move in more of a dancing motion. Brain Wracker was one of those. My favorite! We pranced and danced our way down the trail leaving Gloria’s stables behind us and heading further north. The trail started out in the pines, but soon we were traversing a thin trail along a mountain that fell what looked like miles down into a chasm. Rainmaker couldn’t care less. He pranced and snorted and danced along as if we were on a four-lane highway instead of a skinny little trail on a cliff. I just hoped he was smart enough not to lose his footing during all of his cavorting. The three dogs were cautious too. I turned in the saddle to see all three of them following us single file, with Kachina in the lead.
As time went by, I began to trust Rainmaker’s instincts more. After traversing the thin trail, we veered off and followed another trail up through a wooded area and over a hill. Once over the hill, we emerged on a wide gravel road with sweeping vistas of red Sedona rocks on three sides and a forest behind us. I figured we might still be on Gloria’s property as we hadn’t gone through a gate or fence yet. Once we reached the wider space, Gloria reined in Glitter Girl and motioned for me to pull up beside them for a talk. I’d much rather get into a bucking/rearing contest with Brain Wracker than mosey up beside Gloria for a little talk at this point in my short career, but there was nothing left for me to do; I was forced to comply. I pranced and danced my horse up to get even with her, converging my story in my head as we swayed back and forth.
“I assume you’ve made no progress in the acid case, or I would have heard from you earlier this week,” was the opening gambit of her conversation.
This was an inauspicious beginning, for sure. For some reason managing the stallion successfully, though, had given my bullshit powers wings. I muscled in Rainmaker almost to a steady walk, to keep pace with Glitter Girl and responded, “Actually, Gloria, we’ve made remarkable progress in just a week’s time.”
“Have you identified the culprit?” she asked haughtily.
Offensive moves with Gloria were better than defensive. “From the over one thousand two hundred potential suspects in your company, we’ve narrowed the field down to four distinct possibilities in less than one week’s time,” I lied through my teeth, swaying along beside her.
“Four is not one. I need to identify the culprit and deal with him or her immediately to protect my company from further harm.”
Yoohoo, and how about protecting the public? I wanted to say, but even Brain Wracker knew that was a dumb move, so I continued unfazed. “My partner in the Dick Agency, Geo, has helped me plant listening devices on the four suspects. Of course, you need to deny any knowledge of this if it ever comes to that.”
I had her undivided attention now as I proceeded, “And we are now combing through the audio tapes performing searches on certain key words, such as: hydrofluoric, acid, corrosive, poison—words along those lines. So far, we’ve uncovered a reference to the word acid and Geo is conducting further research as we speak. As you know, Gloria, research takes time and listening to audio tapes takes many hours. We just need a little more time to conduct our research and nail the perpetrator.” I noticed Gloria sat up straighter in the saddle when I said nail the perpetrator. It was on her wish list of Things to Do Quickly.
“How much time?” she ventured tentatively.
Yay, yay, we had her! Geo’s repackaging plan had worked.
“At least through this Sunday, Gloria.” I figured if Geo and I didn’t have a suspec
t by then, we might never have one, and I didn’t want to be stuck in the lotion factory job for God knows how long listening to the bottle cap whirring and thunking my life away while Geo and I combed through a thousand suspects. “Here’s the deal, Gloria: tomorrow we’ve all been asked to work overtime. As you recall, the acid lacing incident occurred on an overtime Saturday in the first place. Now that Geo and I have so effectively narrowed the field down from over a thousand suspects to only four and we’re able to comb through the audio tapes searching for more clues, we finally have a chance of nailing the perpetrator to the wall for good. Further, the set up in your factory tomorrow will exactly recreate the original crime scene. I’m hoping the perpetrator reveals himself or herself in the act and we catch them red-handed—and your problems will be permanently over.” There were so many what ifs in the plan that it held water like a busted sieve, but Gloria honed in on the words permanently over just as I hoped she would.
“I’ll agree to this plan on one condition, Sammy.”
I was all ears, but her one condition took me completely by surprise.
“I’ll agree if you and Rainmaker can outrun Glitter Girl and me to that tall ponderosa pine way down the road there.” She pointed out a tree that rose about ten to fifteen-feet higher into the air than the others. It stood beside the road well over a half mile or more away.
“On your marks. Get set. Go!” she yelled and took off like lightning. All Brain Wracker and I could see were Glitter Girl’s butt and flying hooves kissing us good-bye, with Gloria’s yellow hair, and Glitter Girl’s amazing white tail sailing out behind them as their pace quickened with each stride.
Well, fuck me, both Brain Wracker and I thought in unison, this can’t be happening! And I wound up Rainmaker, like the powerhouse he was, and asked for him to beat the shit out of the two receding females in front of us. Brain Wracker immediately wasted a lot of time rearing and pawing in the air, which I summarily pulled him out of, then he decided to execute two high bucking-bronco moves, and I pulled him out of those too demanding sternly, “Do you want to prove yourself or not, you big, silly oaf?”
Apparently his answer, was a resounding Yes, because after the second buck he landed, rewound himself and shot forward like an arrow drawn back to its furthest taut position then released to finally fly straight and true. The big, silly, magnificent oaf of a stallion took off like a bat out of hell. We began flying over the hard gravel road and all I could hear were his hooves pounding and pounding away. I looked down to see the ground flying under us in a blur, with his long, white mane flapping me in the face. We were flying so fast my eyes were beginning to blur too as I squinted up to check the progress of the ladies. We’d begun to gain ground rapidly, but they were still way ahead of us because of their unexpected, or should I say cheating, start. I glanced to my right to see where the dogs were, but I couldn’t see them. I figured they were behind us trying to figure out what the grownups were up to this time.
I quit worrying about them and focused all my attention on my stallion. “You are going to have to lengthen your stride, Big Boy, if you expect to catch up to those girls,” I whispered in his ear. He gave me more speed, but it still wasn’t good enough, so I lifted the long reins and began slapping them from one side of his shoulders to the other. This action surprised and maddened him. He didn’t know whether to throw me or run faster. I watched his ears twitch as he made his decision. Luckily, he chose Plan B: run faster, and he switched his pace up into hyper-drive like a madman racing against time. Nothing was going to stop us now! He was racing to prove his studly-ness and I was racing to prove myself, justify my career choice and gain one more day towards winning one of the biggest paychecks of my life. Driven by these private motivations, we flattened ourselves out and ran with everything we had in us. We overtook the ladies who were losing steam by now, just before we reached the tall ponderosa at the side of the road.
As we beat them over the finish line, I had no hope of stopping Rainmaker until he decided on his own to slow down, so I just let him run right on by Glitter Girl, the tall ponderosa tree, and Gloria. I waved to them as we sped on by and continued to fly down the road. Rainmaker pounded and pounded on, but eventually, he began to slow, truly spent and breathing hard. Me too, I thought, as I gently circled him back to rejoin the ladies, patting him on the neck crooning, “Good boy. Good boy. You were magnificent!” Which he had been.
Gloria was smiling broadly when we returned to them. I could tell that she probably loved her silly, prancing stallion more than any other horse in her stables, and she was beaming from ear to ear as we sidled back up to where she sat on her spent and breathless horse. I was smiling too—the unlikely team of Genius Geo, Brain Wracker and I had earned at least two more days’ reprieve on the investigation. My meeting with Gloria had been a success!
I remembered to look around for the dogs. They were just now loping up behind us all safe and sound. All was good with the world.
In this happy state of post-adrenaline super-high, Gloria gave out an invitation, “Let’s all go to my favorite lookout now and watch the sunset.” We all followed her lead down another little trail marked by the tall ponderosa pine where we made an abrupt cut-off to the left away from the gravel road. We crossed a wide meadow that had turned a yellowish green so late in the year and the slight wind made wispy sounds as it gusted through the grass. The November air in Sedona always smells crisp and clean, but riding along on our post-adrenaline super-high, the sights, sounds and smells seemed to shoot up into some kind of paranormal range. As we departed the meadow and entered into the forest beyond, the scent of pine, sage and creosote swelled into my senses, and I could hear the clomping of the horses’ hooves on the soft pine needles that covered the trail. A bird twittered here and there as we wound our way down through the pines following Gloria.
A short time later, Gloria beckoned for us to follow her through some dense bushes. I couldn’t really see any trail at all but Rainmaker and I dutifully followed. Rainmaker didn’t like the scratchy sensation as we plowed through the sticker branches and neither did I, but when the obscure trail opened up on the other side, it had been well worth it. We had emerged onto a flat, wide overhang that shot out twenty or thirty feet in front of us and was about fifty feet long composed of solid red rock. A few red rock formations adorned the sides, and as I looked out beyond, one of the most amazing views I’d ever seen in my life spread out before us, the entire north view of Sedona from a great height: meadows, mountains, red rocks and a slowly setting sun. Clouds of all different colors curled through the sky: light blues, indigoes, purples, and streaking through it all—a startling, unforgettable pink. An aura of pink also rimmed the rock formations, and a hawk floated lazily through the sky gliding on updrafts. We just sat on our horses drinking it all in. Even the dogs sat on their haunches and gazed out at the awesome view, their tongues hanging out. Sometimes life was really good, and we all knew it—this was one of those moments. We captured it forever in our memories like a snapshot.
After a while of peaceful silence, Gloria advised that we’d better all head back while there was still a little light. Retracing the skinny trail along the first precipice we’d encountered could be quite tricky on a crazed stallion in the dark Gloria said. I laughed tentatively not knowing if she was kidding or not. I wasn’t too worried because I figured my mount was completely spent, but as we turned to go he suddenly rushed up behind Glitter Girl snorting and sniffing her rear end. Then he leaned back his head curling his upper lip way back exposing his teeth and the pink flesh on the underside of his lip. Next he sniffed her tail again and began licking her flank.
Gloria noticed his antics, “Glitter Girl is coming into heat and that’s starting to push his stud-mode buttons.” She added proudly, “These two horses have created several winning offspring together. You can see photos of them on my web-site ‘Golden Glory Palominos.’ Glitter Girl’s cycle is sometimes off and she comes into heat at odd times of year. Apparently
, she’s coming into off-cycle fertility now and Rainmaker can sense it.”
I would certainly do as she advised and visit the her palomino web-site. Looking at both the palominos now walking side by side along the gravel road I could easily imagine how talented, beautiful and expensive their progeny might be. Brain Wracker could imagine it too because he’d begun to snort and prance once again. He wanted to make more progeny on the spot.
“Time to get home and lock him up in the stallion pen,” Gloria said. Then she added an unfortunate addendum to that remark, “While we ride, tell me about your four suspects.”
I gulped, but I felt too good and too high not to be able to bullshit my way easily through the ride home. I did tell her that I thought Fredric Gadston the Third wasn’t doing her any favors as either her HR Director or the head of Security. I didn’t elaborate on the sordid details, but I gave her fair warning.
She dismissed Fredric as a suspect saying they had too long a history together for that to be possible, and she knew him too well, but she did want him to manage her lotions business more carefully in the future. In fact, she said, because of my earlier concerns, she’d already invited him up tomorrow to take a ride with her similar to the one we’d just taken and she was going to gently discuss improving management practices at Glory’s Organic Lotions factory. Apparently, Freddy was a rider too, or at least professed to be one when in the presence of the overpowering sway of Gloria.
I sensed a rare and somewhat refreshing element of guilt in Gloria’s discussion of Freddy, as if she had somehow contributed to his business failure in the now defunct concierge service they’d try to start up together. I wanted to tell her that Fake Freddy was a pure nut cake, plain and simple, who needed to be fired ASAP, but I held my tongue and let her retain her beliefs. I was sure she could manage her own guilt better than I could. Who knew what all their history held? Besides, I had enough on my platter trying to solve the Yellow Flower investigation in only two more days when the reality of our progress was much more aptly described as nothing, nada, zilch—as opposed to the load of BS, per Geo’s repackaging guidance, I planned on unveiling for Gloria during our long ride back to her place.
Trudi Baldwin - Sammy Dick, PI 02 - Acid Test for Yellow Flower Page 14