by Billy Wong
Loreen considered her simple-minded brothers' assumptions. "Wow, that's actually pretty deep thinking for them. Okay, let's go." They turned to leave.
Just then a familiar giant figure appeared in the door to block their path. "Your Highness," Fiona shouted, "let's kill them now! Rose is wounded, and her friend no match for us! This is our chance for revenge, for the Laros family and everyone else!" Wilner moved as if to resume the fight with Rose, but Loreen shot him a disapproving look and he shook his head.
Fiona raised her halberd like she meant to attack anyway, but Rose stopped her with the simple words, "Swing that thing, and your line ends today." At this, the giantess did not lower her weapon, but neither did she try to stop Rose and Loreen as they passed. Leaving the pair behind, Loreen laughed over Rose's mistaken reason for visiting Wilner, and after binding her wounds they continued on back to Loreen's house.
"Does this mean if there is another war, we'll be on opposite sides?" Rose asked.
"Oh, I could never stand against you! Maybe I could be your spy or some such, if it comes to that. So Rose, or should I say Paladin, what brings you all the way up to Coblan? Shouldn't you be back home raising your kids?"
Rose told her all that'd happened since they last saw each other. After hearing the story, Loreen said, "It's terrible what happened with Finn, but it's wonderful that you managed to have kids together before you lost him. I always wanted to have children, but nobody wants me as I am now."
Rose tried to cheer her up. "You're still young. You'll find somebody, I'm sure."
"Young? I wouldn't have thought to hear that from you. I'm thirty-four already!"
"That's still not too old. You've just got to look. Me on the other hand, I don't know if I'll ever trust another man enough to give my heart to him."
Loreen recoiled. "Rose, no! That would be tragic, when you're such a great person and more than ten years younger than me. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you."
"I don't know if I deserve happiness or not, but I certainly don't have it. Maybe this is fate's way of punishing me for the thousands of men I've killed, who had lives and families of their own."
"Don't say such things. You did it in honest battle, and more men would've died had you not been there. You have so many years ahead of you, you shouldn't look back on your life with regret already."
Rose chuckled sadly. "You may think I'm young, but I don't feel young at all. My body hurts so badly at times, I'd wager most women thrice my age don't suffer so much chronic pain. I've killed thousands of men, and when I have nothing to do I ponder what they could've done for the world had they lived, thoughts which hurt all the more knowing they'll never come true. Worse are the friends and allies I could've saved, had I been a little smarter.
"But of course, and I know it's selfish of me to think so, the worst of all is that the man I want to be with forever finally accepted me for who I am, only to make himself something impossible to reconcile with our love, by choice no less! And I still, still love him in spite of that bitter betrayal, a hopeless love which has ironically driven me from his side, for I can't stand the strength of my futile longing in such proximity to him. So yes I'm young in years, but the pain I've felt, of all kinds, feels like too much for a lifetime. But I wonder if I really have as many years as you think, or if the mold guys like Joghra and Wilner come out of will finally shape one I can't beat."
"Don't talk so despairingly, Rose. I hate that shit, makes me want to cry."
Her steps slowed as she realized how depressingly she'd been talking. "Sorry. I know I shouldn't be spilling all my insecurities onto you, when I was the one who was supposed to be saving you. It's just the last couple months have been so damn hard!"
With a warm smile, Loreen put her hand on Rose's great shoulder. "Don't worry, my friend, you'll make it. You're too strong, your spirit won't be broken by this pain. Just hang on, and don't lose hope. Think about all the joy you've had, even if you've also had your share of pain. You've been in bad circumstances before, but you always made it through, and you'll do it again. It's terrible what you're going through, but like your physical wounds, the pain will become bearable with time. You've still got friends, and your children. Things will be looking up again soon enough, I'm sure."
Though her friend only reinforced what she'd been trying to tell herself, hearing the words spoken soothed Rose more than she thought possible. "I'm already feeling a little better," she admitted, "around you."
Loreen laughed. "Glad to know I'm such a good motivator, because I'll be needing it here in Coblan. Say, Rose, you're huge. Did you eat a cow or what?"
Giggling, Rose tried to grab her friend. Loreen darted away and kept her distance from the newly cheerful Rose until they reached the latter's home, where they ate humbly, yet with delight. The ache in her heart could no longer keep her natural smile from her face, and Rose, in spite of herself, knew happiness again.
#
"Why didn't you fight with me?!" Fiona demanded. "We could have won! We could have killed her!"
Sitting calmly in his chair, a simple one serving in his throne's place for the time being, Prince Wilner replied, "Now, is this rambling any way to talk to your monarch?"
Remembering herself, Fiona said, "I'm sorry, Your Highness. But you must understand, I thought you would want to take vengeance on Rose for nearly killing you, foiling all your plans of conquest, and throwing our nation into disarray. Why didn't you stand with me in getting the payback we deserve?"
"Fiona, think about it. If we had attacked Rose, who do you think Loreen would have sided with, us or her? I do not wish to lose any more of my strong warriors, when there are so few left. Moreover, it would have been a great danger for us to continue the fight with Rose, for even when I fought her with the aid of your father, we were only able to manage something of a draw—and your father died, as I would have without the aid of magic, while Rose lived. I do believe we could kill Rose together, but why take such a risk? Is revenge the only thing on your mind? If fate is willing, there will be other, better chances for such. If not, it is an insignificant matter to allow one enemy to survive. Our country is what matters in the long term."
Fuming, Fiona growled, "She destroyed your country's hard-won order, and you won't dare taking a risk to destroy her?"
Wilner glared angrily at her impetuousness. "And what happened in Gustrone, when you happened upon a wounded Rose and Finn only to back off when you might never have a better chance? I think you are the coward here, who dreams of seeing Rose's death but has not the courage to try and bring it about herself."
They'd been hurt, but there had been two of them dammit. "Your Highness, I am shamed by your accusation. Let me go from here to kill Rose, so I can disprove this cowardice you attribute to me."
The prince looked sadly at her, and warned, "If you go, you will never come back."
"Your Highness, I swear I won't fail you. The spirits of my slaughtered family won't allow it. I will be back!" With those words, Fiona turned and strode out the door. But she wondered herself if she'd ever find the revenge she so longed for.
#
The visitor surprised Derrick with her urgency, and also her patriotic Sevrian dress. The strange woman had come looking for Rose, and he wondered what she wanted. Was she a Sevrian official, or another warrior seeking fame or revenge against his accomplished friend? It didn't matter much, for Derrick sent her away with the honest declaration that he had no idea of where the warrior was. He'd last heard she visited her mother, but nothing since then. Hopefully, she wasn't just running around picking fights with anything she thought dangerous enough to justify it.
He felt a little guilty now when he spent time with Julie caring for Jacob and Amber together, for the two of them had begun to treat the kids like they were their own. Julie always said since their parents aren't around, they needed someone to fulfil their need for guidance. But what if they taught them wrong in Rose's eyes? Still, the temptation was tough to resist, and
Derrick and Julie carried on with their foster parenting.
#
Lying in bed in the Dunwal inn, Rose wondered when she would finally go home. She wanted to see her kids again, but feared to confront Finn, whatever he'd become by now, and she decided she'd wait a little longer. After all, she was also still banged up after her battle with the giant snapping turtles which had become the bane of the Dunwal fishermen. She was resting comfortably in her room, enjoying a fine meal bought with the handsome reward she'd gotten, when a lean, muscular black woman burst in. She brandished a spear, and wore Sevrian blue and gold.
"What do you want?" Rose demanded of her rude visitor.
Instead of answering, the woman thrust at her. Rose leaned neatly aside, and grabbing the spearshaft kicked her attacker hard enough to lift her off her feet. Rose waited for her to stop vomiting on her knees before asking again, "What do you want?"
"My husband! I want my husband!" the fallen woman begged desperately.
"Who is your husband?"
"Joghra, give me back my Joghra!"
"I don't have your husband. He's in the prison in Gustrone. What gave you the idea I would be dragging him around with me?"
The woman coughed. "They told me you, Rose Agen, defeated him and took him hostage. So I came to find you, and challenge you for the right to keep him."
Not much of a challenge, though she had guts. She really thought she could beat the warrior who beat her husband? But it made sense she wouldn't know a thing about how Kayland's government worked if she was from the fringes of Sevria, distant from the heart of its society. "Are you from one of the smaller islands?"
"Yes, and so is my husband. I wish I could have been there for him. When he traveled around the world, I had to stay home and watch over our children. But after I heard you'd defeated him, I decided to save him, for our family needs its man."
Rose felt a surge of sympathy for the woman, as she'd lost her own man so recently. In addition, the woman's ignorance of the situation called to mind her own inability to comprehend Finn's motivations. So though the memories of the physical agony Joghra caused her were still clear, she quickly thought up a plan.
"I'll do what I can to help. You need to talk to your husband. Get him to swear on behalf of the Sevrian army never to invade our lands again, and I promise I'll put in my best words to get him released and back in your arms."
The woman was taken completely off guard, and demanded suspiciously, "And why would you do such a favor for me, an enemy, the wife of an enemy?"
Rose was hardly going to tell the painful story, and probably end up shedding tears before this stranger who might take it for a sign of weakness. "I know what it's like to lose a husband. Come on, why would I trick you? I could just capture you now if I wanted to."
That was enough for the Sevrian. The two women traveled to Gustrone together, Rose wondering if Finn had left yet. Speaking with Prince Lawrence, they were able to arrange for Joghra's release, and gain his promise that Sevria would never send troops into Kayland again while he led their army. Hatred flashed in his eyes as he looked back at her a last time before leaving, and she questioned if he'd keep his word. But there were representatives of both nations at the meeting, and the agreement had been put into writing. Sevrian custom put a high value on honor, and Rose did not think Joghra would break his word outright. Still, she wondered what loophole he might find to exact revenge on her.
#
She returned to the Center for Magical Study shortly after, her heart longing deeply all of a sudden to see her children again. The staff stared in surprise, most happy to see her back, some still annoyed at the way she'd left them. She paid little heed to them, charging upstairs in a rush to hold Jacob and Amber once more. As she entered their room, she saw a girl about Derrick's age sitting in a chair, coddling Amber in her arms.
"Are you their babysitter?"
She looked up. "Yes, my name is Julie. And you are?"
"Their mother," Rose stated proudly.
"So you're Rose. Derrick talks about you all the time, saying how great and kind and brave you are—he never mentioned quite how big, though."
Aware of her unusual fatness, Rose just laughed. "I'm not exactly in peak shape right now. I haven't had too long to lose the pregnancy weight, you know."
Julie smiled as she handed Amber to her. "It's good that you're back. These kids need their mom. Boy, everybody else seemed to need you too, when you left. Me and Derrick have had a wonderful time with your kids, though. They're adorable babies."
Amber began crying, having been held by Rose for all of thirty seconds. "Damn, I'm bad," she groaned.
Julie giggled. "Derrick is just as bad. Don't worry, I'll keep helping you. I know what you do, and I think it's great we have such an amazing lady of a protector."
"I'd be really grateful for the help, but isn't it a lot of trouble?"
"I like your kids. I like Derrick, too. So it's a nice thing that we can take care of your kids together, when you're not able to."
Rose smiled. "I'm sure Derrick likes you back. So I suppose I'll be like the daddy instead of the mommy, at work while you guys hold down the fort?"
"Well, you don't have a problem with it, right?" Julie asked nervously.
She shook her head. "No, it works out pretty well for me. But I do want to have a role in raising my kids. How about when I'm here, I'll take care of them—or try—and when I'm away, you guys will. That sound okay?"
"Of course. They're your kids, after all. Should I leave you alone?"
"If you want to. I don't really have a problem with you staying, but..."
"Oh, I'll go. Bye, Rose. Bye, kids."
"See you later!" Rose stayed there with her children, and held them until they fell asleep. As she put them to bed, Derrick appeared at the door.
"Rose! You're finally back!"
"So you finally got a girl, huh Derrick?"
"W-what are you talking about?" he stammered.
With a sly grin, she whispered, "Julie likes you."
"Oh. Er, you think I should ask her to dinner or something?"
Rose shrugged. "She seems pretty eager to get to know you more, though you're doing that plenty while babysitting together—but then, I'll be taking care of my kids more now. And I'd want you to take me out if I were in her shoes. Go for it!"
"I'll ask her tomorrow. So Rose, what did you do while you were gone?
"Killed giant monsters, dismantled criminal groups, fought Prince Wilner, and got Joghra released from prison," she said with a chuckle. He stared at her. "What?"
"Good old Rose, never a dull moment with you, is there?"
"Hey, you wouldn't expect me to take my broken heart curled up in bed crying, would you?"
At her reminder of the trauma she'd been through, he asked with concern, "Are you better now? You must have hurt so bad..."
Rose's mouth went dry. "I still do, whenever I think of it. I wish so much that I could have him back, and when I remember my last words to him—darn, I was cruel! But I just couldn't understand, and still don't. I wonder where he is now, and what he's become..."
"He never let any of us understand. But yeah, I miss him too."
"Not as much as me. Think we should go find him?"
"I'm pretty much stuck here. Plus, he's your husband."
"He's probably a dragon by now." She shuddered. "Who knows how his personality's changed? All the ones I've met were full of evil. I don't know if I could fight him, if that's the way he's turned out."
"Yeah, but you'll never know if you don't see him."
Rose frowned. "Even though I'd be risking my life?"
"You risk your life all the time. Just this time, it'll be for the sake of your love rather than other people."
"Yes, that's true. Still, I don't think I'm ready to confront him. Maybe someday."
Derrick gazed with compassion at her conflicted face, but tried to sway her. "You don't even know where he is right now. How do you plan on find
ing him? Maybe you had better start looking, if you want to do it."
"It depends on how much work he puts into hiding himself. Maybe the next time we hear about a dragon sighting, it'll be news of Finn."
"So you're not going to go after him?" he asked, disappointment on his face.
Rose knew he wanted her to go, and wondered if wishing to spend more time with Julie had something to do with it. She'd actually expected, and feared, that he would be angry with her for saddling him with babysitter duty, but apparently meeting Julie had made it a highly desirable activity for him.
"It's not like I'd have much direction in trying to find him. I mean, I'll keep an ear out for any dragon rumors. But I'm not going to go blindly hunting for him. I want to be with my kids, too."
He seemed to realize his own hidden motives and hung his head. "Sorry for being selfish. You should do whatever you think is best. So you're going to stay here for a while, and not go out to fight evil again?"
She smiled. "I'll probably only go when something important catches my attention, not just seek out trouble of any kind. I've got other things to take care of these days. But if another great threat rises—yes, I'll eagerly fight them!"
Derrick hugged her then. "I'm glad you're back, Rose."
"I'm glad to be back. So, you need me to help you teach?"
He laughed. "You may be the greatest warrior anywhere, but your magical ability isn't much better than most of the newbie researchers, and most of them know nothing!
Rose took no offense, but smiled enthusiastically and said, "Then teach me! I'll join a class tomorrow, while Julie takes care of the kids. Hope I won't distract the others too much!"
"You'll be okay. They'll feel you're just like one of them once they how bad you are!"
"Sounds about right. See you then?"
The scholar hugged her again. "Be there!"
Rose went to Finn's old room, and felt her heart beat against her ribs at the memories from the last time she'd been here. She looked around, curious to see if there might be a hint as to where her husband might have went. Though she had told Derrick she'd wait for a clue, she had no problem with searching her own dwelling for one. Most of what she found were books written in the magic language, which she could hardly read. But then she found an atlas, and began to flip through its pages.