by Billy Wong
She shrugged. "I just wish people wouldn't try to emulate my example so much when they're around me. It's way too dangerous."
Ashleigh frowned. "You're a good inspiration, though I'd agree it could be taken too far, but I didn't see that here. We all did what we had to do to stay alive."
"Derrick told me you made a remark comparing you ignoring your head injury to my ways. You could've gotten yourself killed, Ashleigh. I saw how messed up you were after that fight."
She sighed. "Don't worry so much. I'm not a baby. I made it through okay, didn't I? It was a little bump on the head. It's not right of you to chide people for their decisions, when you never listen to your own friends' warnings for the sake of your health."
"Who told you that?"
"Your friends and Brandon. I know you're going to argue that you always come through, and you do, but it's not your place to tell other people how far they can push themselves. The decision is theirs to make as yours is yours. If they make a fatal mistake, yes it's sad, but it's not your fault and you needn't get so worked up over it."
"I know. Sorry about the lecture, I know you're an experienced warrior and can handle yourself. I was just making an observation, having seen how hurt you were from that blow. You could barely function at the party. But it really affected me, when a man once told me I was to blame for all those who died trying to follow in my footsteps." Justin, a soldier whose uncle and brother's deaths he blamed her for.
"That's wrong," Ashleigh said firmly. "I always say, if you didn't do it, you can't be blamed for it. When people make mistakes, it's on their shoulders alone."
Rose thought her logic quite attractive, since it'd take much of the guilt off her shoulders should she adopt such a view. But she knew she wouldn't. "But what about the things you could've done, that you didn't? You don't think there's some responsibility to take action, that someone can be faulted for inaction? I've always thought so. I wouldn't be the warrior I am if not for that idea."
Ashleigh smiled. "You're a better person than me, I'm sure most would say. Still, I like my life without such complicated questions of right and wrong. But everybody's different, and I don't doubt your way works for you. After all, you're one hell of a lady. I hope your friend gets well. I wouldn't want you to bear that burden of guilt, too."
"Thanks. It's nice to meet somebody who understands, even if we don't agree on everything. Good luck with Brandon."
Ashleigh chuckled. "That's something I'd look forward to. See you later, Rose!" The blonde walked away, and though Rose felt happy with their talk, her fear for Julie only grew stronger.
#
Derrick disregarded the odd looks his way while he made his way towards the Hullel hospital. Entering the rather small wooden building in his borrowed clothes, he went straight to the director, a plump middle-aged man named Charles who he'd met several times when he lived here. "Derrick, how do you do? Are those women's clothes?"
"I got robbed. Listen, I need the magic amulet right away. I know this is odd, but I'll give it back as soon as I can. I really need it, it's to save my love's life."
Charles took on an uncertain look. "I'd be glad to lend it to you under normal circumstances. But an injured boy is using it now. He fell off a roof and hurt his neck. He might never walk again if we don't heal him with the amulet, before it's too late."
What?! Why now? Derrick couldn't believe his luck. A fainting dragon, a broken bridge, a robbery, and now this? He didn't want to leave a boy crippled for life, but his concern for Julie's survival outweighed that. "Please, I know it's a tough choice, but my problem goes beyond walking. A life is at stake, and she can't possibly hold on for much longer. I promise I'll give the amulet back the moment I can!"
"It'll break his mom's heart to take it away."
Derrick looked down, but said, "The boy might still be healed, if he's treated later. As long as he's alive, there's hope. But there'll be no hope for Julie soon. Please, I think I can get the amulet back to you a day after Julie's life is out of danger!" Though, that was only if Finn could fly by then.
Slowly, Charles nodded. "If you're sure, I at least owe it to Rose to hand the device over—gods know how many times she's saved Kayland, not mention she gave it to us in the first place. But it will be a painful deed. Fine, I'll fetch the amulet. It's not so unfamiliar for a doctor, to face a dreadful choice like this." He disappeared, and guilt began to gnaw at Derrick's heart only to be pushed aside by hope for Julie's salvation. Returning, the director handed him the amulet. "Go, Derrick. I've no heart to talk to you now after what you made me do. So save your love, and take joy in her."
Derrick hurried away, not wanting to face Charles or the boy's family himself. He borrowed some money from Lise and bought the strongest horse he could, then a map, and found another path around the gorge he'd bridged. He made it past the perilous pit without a hitch and rode his steed hard back towards Resnick, covering three days' worth of fast walking in one. Then he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs, and only managed to flee after taking a bite on his calf which soon began to itch terribly. But he took that minor hassle in stride, knowing the healing amulet already began to repair the wound. He rode for two more days, only covering five days of walking distance as his mount grew tired. Then, two days' walk from the fort, the horse collapsed and died.
Looking down at the dead steed, Derrick fell to his knees and started to weep, wondering if fate truly didn't want him to save Julie, if death's intent to take the girl could not be thwarted. But like many strangers he'd met, in this time of despair he thought of his friend Rose, the indomitable warrior who always got up no matter how hard she fell, and fought on despite mortal anguish until even the most invincible foes were reduced to dust. Remembering all the troubles he'd faced together with her that were so much greater and more terrible than anything he'd seen in the past six days, he stood and walked, knowing he only needed to go on for two more days.
#
Julie looked up from the bed, and Rose was stricken by the sight of her friend so frail and weak, unable even to raise an arm or turn over under her own power. "It's been a week," the dying girl whispered. "Where is he?"
She smiled, and hoped Julie couldn't see the tears in her eyes. "Derrick will be back soon, you'll see. Just hold on, okay? One more day, what do you say?"
"You promise?"
Despite attempting to deny it to herself, Rose knew the wounded redhead probably couldn't survive much more than a day the way she was going. "Yes, I promise. So be strong just a little longer."
Julie had no more words, her strength failing again as she drifted off into a sleep too close to death. Rose sat there holding her limp hand and wondered what good her great strength was, if all it availed her was to survive only to see those she cared about suffer and die around her.
#
It was nearly impossible to resist scratching his itchy calf, but Derrick pushed on down the road, having slept no more than three hours last night and all but destroying his legs as he ignored all fatigue in his hurry to reach Fort Resnick. At this point, he'd resigned himself to encountering more obstacles set by fate in its attempt to thwart him, and resolved not to allow them to kill his hope.
Thus when it began to rain like to drown the world, Derrick slogged through the mud undaunted, trusting in the magic amulet to save him from illness. It shocked him to see lightning bolts raining down all around him at one point during the storm, but none hit him, though he once had to dodge a falling tree. In the night, while he took shelter inside a huge hollow log, a deadly viper slithered into his pants. Woken from his restless slumber, he held still until the serpent left of its own accord. When morning came accompanied by a bright sun and he soon saw Fort Resnick in the distance, he dared to think he'd beaten fate. He'd survived eight trials, and didn't think there was room for five more to make thirteen, the next fateful number. His spirits rose further when he saw an ally thought dead on the road.
"Graham," he greeted the druid, "how are y
ou? Where did you go? We all thought you were dead!"
Graham replied in a cold tone. "I was gaining enlightenment." Without further explanation, he leveled a glaive the color of dried blood at the baffled Derrick and came forward.
"Why would you want to kill me? We fought together!"
"The Earth Mother demands it," he said evenly, "defiler of the world."
"What?! This is about our use of magic? You were never this extreme in your methods before!"
"The Earth Mother told me personally what I had to do. I did not wish to harm fellow human beings. But because the highest of powers demands it, I know it right."
"You really think a god spoke to you?"
Graham's voice held not the slightest sliver of doubt. "I saw her face in the depths of the earth." He attacked. Derrick parried one blow from the heavy glaive and dodged another, but had no room for retaliation against his far more skilled opponent. The next slash shattered his sword, then the druid drove the wide blade deep into his body below the ribs. Watching him crumple to the grass, blood gushing from the mortal wound, Graham said, "The first goes down." Derrick's world fell away.
#
Julie forced the weakest smile Rose had ever seen. "One more day, huh? Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think it's happening. Don't let Derrick get too worked up, okay?"
Rose knew her cheeks were covered with tears, but doubted the girl could even see them anymore. "You'll make it. Feel my strength, Julie. It's all yours to have. Take it, and live." She held her hand in a grip like an iron vise, barely remembering not to squeeze so hard as to crush the delicate bones. That Julie did not reply and seemed to feel no pain from her tight grasp hardly encouraged the dismayed Rose, who could barely stop herself from breaking down completely in front of her dying pupil.
In her unbearable anguish of the past couple days, Rose had begun to blame Derrick for insisting on going himself and not coming back on time, though the fact Finn too had gone missing made her also worry for both of them. But she didn't believe they were dead, especially Finn, because she felt she'd somehow know. Still, she wondered where they were, and couldn't help but think she should have been the one to go. Sure she was hurt bad, but she knew she'd still have been stronger and certainly more savvy in traveling cross-country than even a fresh Derrick. Damn his sentimentality!
But it'd been her fault too, of course, her fault for knowing these things and yet letting him have his way. Had her pain and fatigue so impaired her judgment, or had she really been afraid to face Finn again after their awkward parting at the cave? She didn't know, but either one was unacceptable, and she knew she'd be beating herself up forever if Julie died.
Just as she thought this she noticed Julie's breathing growing rapidly more labored, and knew the end was nigh. But she wouldn't let it come without a fight. Calling upon her limited knowledge of healing magic she started chanting, trying desperately to recall correctly the words Finn attempted to teach her so many months ago, when he'd been her beloved human lover and not the ill-tempered dragon he was now.
She knew she must have gotten something wrong, but it was too late to stop and start over again. Putting herself totally into the magic, Rose harnessed energies channeled with inadequate skill through sheer will, a will which had defied certain death time and time again. Though she couldn't heal the damage, she managed to bolster her friend's vitality to preserve her life for some precious time. When she finally stopped, her senses failed her and she fell facefirst onto the still Julie, gasping while she struggled to hold her own tortured soul fast.
As her hearing returned, she realized Julie's breathing had steadied again, and whispered, "See? I told you you wouldn't die."
Her heart soared as the girl asked deliriously, "Are you okay, Rose? You look as bad as when you fell out of the sky in Gustrone and went splat on the stone!"
"I got back up then—eventually—and I will now. You just rest, and I'll stay right here with you and ward you from the reaper." Feeling less helpless than she ever had since finding Julie so near death, she laid her dark mane upon her student's moving chest and slept.
#
Derrick didn't know how long it took before he awakened, but he did, and thanked the healing amulet for saving his life. Clearly the druid's glaive had missed his heart, because that would have killed him instantly. But he thought it might've damaged a lung, for it still hurt to breathe and he occasionally coughed blood, though he supposed that would heal in time. It must've only been a slight nick to his lung, in any case, because the amulet worked quite slowly and here he was already able to stand up and walk. It was time to save Julie now, but he also smiled at the thought of what Rose might do to the treacherous Graham once he told her what'd happened.
Walking close to Fort Resnick, Derrick felt surprise to see Rose sitting on the parapet. He rushed inside, hurrying up to the wall. He was even more surprised as the big woman walked to meet him with an unreadable expression and threw her huge arms around him. Only now did he hear her sniffing, and pulled away to see fresh tears stream down her face. His heart sank as he recognized these were no tears of joy at seeing him back, but ones of immense sorrow. No, it couldn't be... that couldn't be why she cried, could it? But deep inside he knew he would share her sorrow in seconds, once he heard the words.
"What happened, Rose?" he asked while his soul prepared to break.
Her face contorted with grief to the point of being near unrecognizable, Rose stammered, "Y-you, what the hell were you doing?! Why didn't you come back? S-she was so strong, Derrick, even if I did help her a bit. She hung on for two weeks—two weeks! I promised her you'd be back in two days. What happened?! I-I... how hard it is to bear seeing a friend die painfully for so long!"
For a moment Derrick stood, trying to deny to himself what he had heard, to tell himself it wasn't real. Then reality broke through his will and he joined her in crying, bawling louder than a baby as he buried his head in her massive chest. His tears soaked her shirt, and he felt her breast heaving with spasms of grief against his face. He finally managed to choke out words. "T-two weeks? What, how?"
"Two weeks," Rose confirmed in her broken voice. "I held her here at the last—I wouldn't let her go, I kept my faith in you! But two days ago I woke in the morning to find she'd died when I wasn't watching, damn it! The reaper stole her like a coward from me, even I was helpless to stop him."
"I've been unconscious for a week," he marveled, dazed with grief so strong he thought it would kill him soon. "Rose, how did you 'keep' her?"
Sobbing, she asked, "Why do you care? Your love is dead, this is no time to speak of magic. Mourn, Derrick, I'll take care of whatever else needs to be done. Gods, I should have gone; she'd be alive then, and us not in such a pathetic state."
He didn't even realize what he was doing until he did it, but he punched her in the gut, a blow with all his strength amounting to a sore hand for him and only more bitter tears from her. Ignoring the pain, he screamed in her face, "Yes, you should have! You told me so, you knew, so why didn't you stop me?! I failed, and she died for it, when I know you would've succeeded and killed him. What foolishness from me, in my cowardice! I'd kill myself now, if I had the courage."
"Don't talk like that, Derrick," Rose pleaded between sobs. "You're not fit to die, too young and too good. You, cowardice? You were overly brave, if anything. Him, who?"
"I'm a coward because I made you stay, ass that I am, to avoid the helpless feeling you suffered so. The him I speak of is Graham, the druid who fought with us before. He tried to kill me when I was hours from here, and only the magic amulet saved me. I wish it hadn't, then I wouldn't have to bear this anguish."
Though Rose shared some of his grief, he despised her for not understanding him when she said, "You mustn't quit, you have so much more to give the world. If there's anything never to do, it's give up on life. I'm going to kill him, Derrick, for both of you."
Taking off the magic amulet, he threw it at Rose, and as if letting him ven
t his rage she allowed it to hit her full in the face. "Rose, who cares about the world? It's an ugly, inconsiderate place full of meaningless death and suffering, and ruled by fate which plays cruel tricks on puny mortals like us. What can I do, any of us do, to change that? The knowledge I once held so dear will be gone in what amounts to a blink of an eye. Nothing we do means anything. We're only waiting to blow away into dust, after all."
Rose wiped her eyes, and Derrick could see he'd hurt her as badly as if he plunged his sword squarely between her ribs. But he didn't feel any sympathy for the stupid idealist he once called a "friend"—a useless word—who now bawled laughably, "How could you say that, Derrick?! Of all people, I never thought such words would come from your mouth, not when you risked everything so many times just for the sake of learning, knowing, experiencing more of life. This isn't part of you, Derrick. It's only the grief and anger speaking. It'll pass, I know it will. It must."
"Not part of me? What am 'I?' I'm what I want to be, as you'd say. Well, I don't want to be what I used to. I don't really want to be anything right now."
"No," Rose breathed. "That's not true. What you want is to have Julie back, to be what you were before. But only since you know it can't be, you embrace despair."
"Yes, it can't be."
"It might be the wrong time to say this, but you'll find another one day, I'm sure. Let's mourn now, but not give up hope."
Derrick felt slightly calmer, and began to hear the wisdom of her words. But all he could picture in his mind was Julie's slow, tortured death. "All right, I'll try. Let me go to her. I need to tell her how s-sorry I am for letting her down. I hope she can hear me somewhere, whether or not she has the goodwill to forgive me—I know I don't. Thank you, Rose. You were the best friend, and protector, we could have asked for."
"But it wasn't enough, was it?" she sobbed, her turn now to lament. "It never is; I'm such a failure. All those times saving the kingdom, and I couldn't even save one person who I cared about—not Julie, not Finn, not even you. All I'm good for is killing, I know now. I'm so sorry for thinking otherwise."