“Because if you give, then nobody can touch you. Nobody can get to the real you. Nobody can hurt you. And most notably, nobody can say they don’t love you. You fool,” Neala seethed, “you’re scared to death of loving someone, aren’t you?”
“See, this is why I don’t get involved with women,” Dagda said. “They always get notions in their heads of something more. You can never just share your bed with a woman and have an easy goodbye. They always want more, more, more. It’s why I never stay the night, you know. Because of this.” Dagda swept out his hand in anger.
“This? Expectations of speaking honestly of feelings? Like that’s such a horrible thing?” Neala asked.
“It is. There’s no need to bring feelings into this. We had some fun, now we continue on our way. Stress relief, nothing more,” Dagda said, obstinate as the bull that wandered the pasture next to where they stood.
“Sure, Dagda. I get it,” Neala said, using every ounce of power she had to not let the tears that threatened seep into her eyes. “You’re a coward, is what I understand. Keep it light, keep it easy. That way nobody can hurt you – nobody can reject you again. Like your family did. Well, I have news for you, buddy: I met your parents and I have to say you’re letting some pretty awful people control a lot of your potential happiness. But, as you said, you’re an adult. I’m sure you already know all that. I’ll just move on with the mission and promise not to be getting any ideas in my head.”
Neala whirled to stalk toward the group, who were watching them argue with avid interest, and gasped when Dagda grabbed her arm. The sword banged against her side as he whipped her around and forced her to stare up at his enraged face.
“You met my parents? When? You didn’t think this was something you should share with me?” Dagda hissed. They stood there, two confused and enraged lovers, the mist falling gently around them as the waves crashed far below.
“It didn’t come up,” Neala said primly, knowing she was being a bit petty. But damn it, he’d hurt her feelings.
“Tell me everything, immediately,” Dagda said, looming over her in his rage.
“Oh, stop with the tough guy act,” Neala sighed and rubbed her fingers over her forehead, where a dull pain had begun to throb. “It was when I was searching for Sasha. The Domnua pulled some sly magick – first making an apparition of my father appear. I needed to forgive him to be able to move forward. Next up in their bag of party tricks were your parents. Delightful people, really. I’m glad we aren’t destined to be a couple because Christmas dinner with them would be hell, let me tell you.”
“What did they say?” Dagda demanded, and for a second, Neala caught that shift in his eyes – a little boy pretending nonchalance – before it was quickly shuttered once more.
“They just wanted to let me know how unsuitable they thought I was as a partner for their little boy,” she said. “And that I would be diluting their bloodline if you had children with me.”
“Of course. It’s always about the perfect bloodline with them,” Dagda hissed.
“I told them I forgave them for being small-minded and then went on my way.”
Dagda’s mouth dropped open. “You said that?”
“Aye,” Neala said, watching him carefully.
“To their faces?”
“Yes. I told you that, didn’t I?” Neala said.
“I bet they didn’t like that,” Dagda said, shifting from foot to foot.
“No, they didn’t. But I didn’t stay to chat, as the Domnua masquerading as them popped forth and I had to fight. Dag, they’re awful people. You can’t let them decide whether you’re worthy of love or not. You can spend your whole life wandering. But don’t you want something more? A partner – someone who will stick by you no matter what, someone who can become your own family?” Neala asked, her heart swelling as she realized just how much she’d come to care for this man.
Dagda paused for a moment, looking out over the horizon before once more looking down at Neala.
“It’s not worth getting hurt for. I won’t let someone have that power over me again,” he said, his tone brusque. “I shouldn’t have touched you. I’m sorry if I misled you in any way. But there is nothing between us other than what the goddess has entrusted me with – protecting your safety. I apologize for crossing a line that I shouldn’t have. It won’t happen again.”
“But…” Neala said, but Dagda shook his head.
“We’ve tarried too long. I’ve said my apologies. We must go.”
And that was the end of that, Neala realized, as Dagda stomped across the field to where the group waited, an impatient Loch looking for all the world like he would burst into flames if they didn’t get moving.
“What happened to head up, heart open?” Neala called after him, her words carrying on the wind.
Dagda turned.
“That’s meant for you. Not me.”
“Coward,” Neala called, but Dagda just shook his head and kept moving, the walls around his heart locked closed.
Chapter Forty-One
Neala followed Bianca silently down the steps that led down the side of a cliff to where several boats were docked far below. Bianca had looked over her shoulder a few times, a question in her eyes, but Neala had just shook her head and kept her stony silence.
Perhaps Dagda was right. She’d been foolish to start thinking there was more between them because they’d shared one night together. And it wasn’t even like they’d had sex. She’d let him pleasure her and that was that. No big deal. No muss, no fuss. Neala had known from the outset that Dagda was a man made for the open road, not for settling down. She’d been telling herself that repeatedly for a few days now. The fact that they’d shared a moment certainly did not mean there was anything more to it than that – a moment. It must be all this talk of pairing up and the tension they were under with this quest, Neala decided as they reached the dock. The adrenaline alone could get to anybody’s head.
Having had the walk down to work through it in her head and cool off a bit, Neala finally came to the conclusion that she’d been a bit silly. There’d been no reason to push the man about love just because a toddler with magickal abilities had some sort of secret message about it. For all she knew, the message could be for Dagda and someone else in his life. Neala barely knew the man.
What she did know was that relationships led to complications she wasn’t willing to deal with when she had an ever-expanding business to run. Circling right back to what she’d been telling herself for a while now, Neala decided she would take the “stress relief,” as Dagda had referred to it, as a fun diversion and ascribe nothing more to it.
“Hey,” she said to Dagda as they walked out onto the dock. Turning, he studied her silently. “Sorry about all that. You’re right. It was just a fun release of tension. You certainly weren’t my first, and won’t be my last. No worries on all of it, then, okay? Friends?” Neala held out her hand.
Dagda glared down at it, his expression even more furious. “Friends?” he said.
“Yes? Can’t we be friends?” Neala wondered where she’d stepped wrong now.
“So you’ve been with a lot of men? I’m just another one on your path?” Dagda said, his tone low but dangerous.
“I… what? I’m telling you I’m sorry for reading into anything and I think we can be friends. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Neala demanded, exasperated with this puzzle of a man.
“Fine,” Dagda gritted out, barely shaking her hand before he stomped to the end of the dock to help load the boat.
Neala blew out a breath and rolled the tension from her shoulders. She honestly thought she’d been giving him what he had asked for, and now he was mad at her once more.
“I need details – and, like, immediately,” Bianca demanded, grabbing her arm and pulling her close.
“Not much to say,” Neala said, still watching Dagda as he angrily checked out the supplies on the boat.
“That’s a load of shite,” Bianca commented
.
“We had a bit of a moment last night. I thought there could be something more. He doesn’t feel that way. I decided I agree with him and that we can be friends, and now he doesn’t seem to be happy with that either,” Neala summed up as quickly as she could. She rocked lightly on the balls of her feet as she considered the back and forth of what had just happened.
“Och, sounds like the man is scared.”
“I don’t have time or interest for scared boys in my life. If he decides to man up, I’ll consider it. For now, he’s just a friend,” Neala said, her tone sharp enough that even Bianca stopped talking for a moment, just raising both hands in acquiescence.
“Fair enough, girl. I’m here for whatever you decide or need.”
“Thanks, Bianca. You’re good for me,” Neala said, shooting the blonde a smile before moving to board the boat. “Let’s go get Gwen.”
“Finally,” Loch said.
Chapter Forty-Two
The ride out to Dead Man’s Island was silent, aside from the slap of the waves on the bow and the occasional cry of a gull swooping lazily above them. Neala couldn’t help but think how the island really was shaped like a dead man lying in his coffin, with his arms crossed peacefully on his chest. She sincerely hoped it wasn’t an omen about what they would find when they searched for Gwen.
She studied the island as the boat drew near, but didn’t see any sort of ruins or structures that could easily be hiding Gwen. It was likely that this Seeker was going to be much trickier to find, Neala thought.
“What did the clue say again?” Bianca asked from across the boat.
Neala dug it from her pocket, reciting the lines carefully:
To love or not to love
To live or not to live
Fire consumeth all
Shame goeth before the fall.
“Great, that’s just what I want to hear,” Bianca said. “Fire? What? She’s going to light the island on fire?”
“Maybe it’s because of Gwen’s cuffs? She can shoot fire?” Seamus asked, giving Neala another thing that she wanted to ask Bianca about. She felt as though she needed at least a week of stories to catch up on all the miraculous things these women could do. And to think, weeks ago she had barely believed in fairies –now there was magick and mermaids and calling down the wind… it was mind-blowing. What a world of possibilities they lived in, Neala mused, leaning against the railing and looking out at the island that now loomed ahead of them. With those possibilities could come so many things. At any turn she could meet a new love or decide to relocate and open a new business elsewhere. Life was about chance, but also about choice, Neala thought, her eyes straying to Dagda and then away. She’d been right when she’d said earlier that there would be another man after him. Perhaps never like him – oh no, she doubted she would ever meet someone like him again. But could she move forward and find someone in the future?
Absolutely.
“There’s a small dock ahead,” Flynn called from where he was driving the boat. They’d tried to make him stay back at the house, promising they’d pay for any damage to the boat, but he’d refused. Flynn knew these waters like the back of his hand and he felt personally responsible for delivering them safely to the island.
It wasn’t long before the boat was tied to the dock and they all piled off, packs on their backs, Neala with her sword at her side. Turning, she met Flynn’s eyes.
“Thanks for the ride. Are you sure you want to wait?”
“I’ll be here. If things get dicey, I’ll pull away from the dock and come back. I’ve added some flares to all of your packs. Send them up if you need extra help and I’ll call in the crew. We’re here for you in any way we can be.”
Such simple words, but they meant a lot, Neala thought as they fell into line once more and walked from the dock. They didn’t even know the man, nor his family, but the Grace’s Cove family had accepted them instantly into the brood as though they were one and the same.
Neala wondered if Dagda thought there was anything to what baby Grace had said about believing in love, which also seemed to coincide with the clue. She wondered just what form this line of questioning would take on their journey on An Fear Marbh.
“Neala, let’s go,” Bianca called.
She jumped, realizing that the crew had already forged up the hill, Lochlain leading them like a man possessed. “Coming,” Neala said, waving her thanks to Flynn and chugging up the path behind Bianca and Seamus, with Dagda bringing up the rear behind her. They climbed in silence for a while, unsure of where they were going, but staying quiet so as to listen for anything or anyone calling out or approaching them.
“It’s so quiet,” Bianca whispered.
“I know. It’s like it really is a dead island,” Neala whispered back. It was true, too, as there no herd of sheep dotting the hills, nor anything else making noise. Just silence, the wind sweeping across the cliffs, and occasionally the falling of a rock onto the shore below them.
Lochlain had stopped at the crest of a hill. More hills dropped behind him to the left, and a second path wound down a cliff’s edge to the right. They stood, clustered in a small group, and looked out at the massive island surrounding them. “I think we should spread out a bit,” he said.
“No,” Dagda ordered.
“He may be right, though,” Bianca protested. “Look at the size of this island. If we don’t have much time for Gwen, we need to cover as much ground as possible.”
“And if you get jumped by the Domnua? What then?” Dagda argued back.
Neala stepped back, cocking her ear as she thought she heard something. Was that someone singing? It was intoxicating, pulling her in, the warm voice and notes of the song seeming to envelop her entire being, warming her to the core. Helplessly, she followed the song, running to the cliff’s edge, and with zero hesitation, Neala dove headfirst into the cold water, the song pulling her deep into the sea.
Chapter Forty-Three
Even the shock of the cold water couldn’t shake her from the reverie she drifted in, so entranced by the song was Neala. It was like it called to every aching part of her soul – the shadowy bits that ached for love and acceptance – and promised that if she just opened up and gave love a chance she could be whole. Neala closed her eyes and let herself sink, not caring about anything anymore, so long as she could listen to this song.
When hands grabbed her, she jerked her eyes open, surprised to see what looked to be an arm and fins dragging her from the water, moving so fast that there was no doubt this creature wasn’t human.
Neala sputtered at the surface, shocked by what had just happened. She heaved for breath, her entire body shaking in shock.
A woman, stunningly beautiful in a regal, otherworldly way, floated before her in a tunnel that had just enough light for Neala to make out the woman’s features.
“That was foolish,” the woman said.
“I… I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt intoxicated by the song,” Neala admitted, finally realizing the depth of what she’d done.
“A siren’s song is virtually impossible to ignore. Gwen’s is particularly powerful. She was calling to you, and you answered – but at a risk to your own safety. I’m only glad I was here to save you. We must go under, once more, and I’ll pull you with me. Can you hold your breath again?” the woman asked, her tone serious.
Neala could only nod, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that by all appearances it seemed as though she was having an actual conversation with a real-life mermaid.
“Now,” the woman – er, mermaid – ordered, and all Neala could do was gulp air before, once more, she was submerged in the salty cold water, being dragged through darkness, until, just as her lungs were beginning to burn with the need for air, she was dragged to the surface.
“Mother!”
“Gwen, you’re safe,” the mermaid said, swimming to the shore where Gwen crouched and hugged her. Neala stumbled up the rocks, desperate to get out of the water.
She stood panting in the pale light of the cave, and looked at the curvy woman crouching by the water.
“You must be Gwen,” Neala said.
“Aye, I am. And you’re the Seeker?”
“I’m Neala. Was that you singing then?”
“You heard me!”
“Aye, that’s a hell of a voice you’ve got there. I don’t suggest you be using that unfiltered anywhere or you’ll have thousands of men at your feet,” Neala grumbled, pulling off her now-sodden sweater and wringing it out. The cold began to set in and she shivered.
“You’re freezing,” Gwen said, coming over to examine Neala.
“Water’s a bit chilly for my liking,” Neala admitted.
Saying nothing, Gwen closed her eyes and turned, bringing the intricately carved bracelets on her wrists together. A flash made Neala throw her hands up, and to her astonishment, a cheerful fire began to burn in the corner of the cave.
“I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that earlier,” Gwen admitted.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen something so amazing,” Neala admitted, moving to sit near the warmth of the fire to stop her teeth from chattering. “Though the mermaid is right up there.”
“I am Amynta,” the mermaid said, “mother to Gwen.”
“Pleased to meet you, Amynta. Might I just say that I think you’re one of the most magnificent creatures I’ve ever seen in my life?” Neala said.
Amynta beamed at her. “That’s kind of you.”
“It’s the truth,” Neala said, then looked at Gwen. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
“Och! Did that man tell everyone? I swear I’ll throttle him when I get out of here.” Gwen crossed her arms and fumed.
“I think it just kind of came out. But I’ve never seen a man as desperate to find his woman as that one. You’ve got one very scared and very lovesick man on your hands,” Neala said.
04 Sphere Song - The Isle of Destiny Page 16