by Ally Blue
“You should eat a little something, so the ibuprofen won’t upset your stomach.” Rafael started opening cabinets and scanning the contents. “Here. Crackers.” He grabbed a half-empty sleeve of saltines and set them on the table. “Eat a few, at least.”
“Yeah, okay.” Nat grabbed Rafael’s hand and planted a kiss on the inside of his wrist. “Thanks. For everything.”
A sweet warmth shone in Rafael’s eyes, making Nat’s pulse race. “Sure. I’m glad I could help.”
For a long moment Nat couldn’t look away from Rafael’s face, reflecting his own heart back at him. He pushed to his feet and leaned close to whisper in Rafael’s ear. “Better get out while the getting’s good. I don’t have to be in till this afternoon. I’ll see you then.”
Rafael glanced toward the couch, where Nat’s dad was grumbling in his sleep. “Text me when you get in.” He planted a closed-mouthed kiss on Nat’s lips, fingers toying with his hair like always. “I’ll see you later.” He started to say something else, stopped, and smiled. “Yeah. See you.”
Nat watched him leave, then slumped back into the old chair, one hand planted over the hard, tight warmth in his chest.
“Cut,” said Rafael. “That’s a wrap.” He glanced at Anna, who gave him a double thumbs-up. He grinned. “Great job, everybody. Thank you.”
The set erupted into the usual post-shoot whirl of activity. Heart hammering with nerves and elation, Rafael turned to face Anna. “Well? What do you think?”
“I think you did incredibly well. There are a few things I would’ve done differently, but I don’t think that’s anything you need to worry about. Every director has their own style. Yours isn’t the same as mine, and that’s fine.” Smiling, she squeezed his shoulder. “I like what I’m seeing here, Rafael. In fact, I’d love for you to direct an entire episode at some point. If you’re up for it.”
“Up for it?” He laughed, not even caring that he sounded positively giddy. “Hell yes, I’m up for it. Just tell me when.”
“Well, it’ll have to wait a little while. Everything’s planned out for the next few months. But I have something in mind.” She hooked her arm through his elbow and led him toward the exit. “Come on. Let’s go get a coffee and we’ll talk about it.”
Rafael floated along beside her, grinning like an idiot because he couldn’t help it. Over the last couple of weeks he’d finally started working alongside Anna in an apprentice role, and it was pure heaven. Not only did she appreciate his previous work, she had a sharp eye for how to utilize his particular talents on Wolf’s Landing. His first try at directing a scene on his own today had gone better than he’d dreamed. And now it looked like he had a real shot at a career. All thanks to Anna.
“I can’t thank you enough for this chance,” he said as they took their flat whites and went to find a spot to sit. “I mean, getting to direct an episode of Wolf’s Landing? It’s a dream come true for me. I can’t believe this is my life right now.”
Laughing, Anna pulled out a plastic chair at a miraculously empty two-person table and sank into it. “I hope you still feel that way when you’re on the twentieth take of the first scene and wondering if you can manage to get it all done in the time you’ve given yourself.” She pointed her almond biscotti at him. “Which, by the way, is never enough. But you make it work. And that, my child, is the bitter yet addictive essence of TV directing.”
Rafael snickered into his cup. “I can see that. Nothing like successfully conquering a challenge to make you want to keep doing it.”
“Exactly.” Anna’s phone chirped. She pulled it out of her pocket. Her expression turned stormy when she saw whatever was on the screen. “Oh hell. Not again.”
“What is it?” Belatedly realizing maybe it was none of his business, Rafael backpedaled. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me, obviously. I was just curious.”
“No, it’s not a secret or anything. Would be better if it was, actually.” She held her phone out to him. “Look.”
He took the phone, dread sitting like a boulder in his stomach. The online chatter since Solari had come out hadn’t always been kind, to put it mildly. Solari had put on a brave face for the public, but privately the ugliness was getting to her. If the trolls and haters had ramped it up . . .
And, yeah, they had. #GayLanding was the number three trending topic on Twitter, and while the show’s supporters were doing their best, right now the hashtag dripped disgust, disdain, and a frightening level of hostility, mostly leveled at Solari.
Another dyke on #GayLanding. Are normal people out of style now? Disgusting.
Bitch need da D. Fuck out da lesbo.
Burn in hell, moslum cunt
Who got vid of Alecia & her gf, I pay cash $$.
Feeling sick, Rafael handed Anna’s phone back to her. “Jesus.”
“Yeah.” Anna gulped coffee, her gaze focused on nothing. “I know she must’ve seen it. This crap’s been going on ever since the press conference, but it’s gotten a lot worse in the last couple of days. And I’m afraid it’s going to get her in trouble with Finn, which could be bad.”
As in losing-her-job bad, Rafael knew. Anna’s co-executive producer wasn’t the nicest guy in the world, and he didn’t like it when his stars’ personal lives caused bad publicity.
Rafael’s phone meowed on the table beside him. A quick glance showed an incoming text from Solari. “Speaking of which, that’s her. She wants me to bring her a chai and some yogurt before she has to be on set.”
Anna’s eyebrows pulled together. “She didn’t say anything about the Twitter business?”
“Nope. But she wouldn’t say anything in a text.”
“No, I guess not.”
He pushed his chair back and stood. “Could we get together another time and talk about your ideas for an episode for me to direct?”
She nodded. “I’ll email you with the details. Let me know if Solari needs me, okay?”
“Sure thing. Thanks, Anna.”
He headed back toward the coffee bar as Anna’s phone rang. It was a minor miracle she’d gone this long without anyone calling her, actually. Too bad they hadn’t gotten around to discussing her thoughts about the episode she wanted him to direct.
Me. Directing an episode of Wolf’s Landing. Holy shit. It was no exaggeration to say that such a thing could launch his career.
An electric thrill ran through his bones. He couldn’t wait to tell Nat. He’d been even more quiet and reserved than usual ever since the fight with his dad. If Rafael’s news could make Nat smile again, even for a moment, he’d call it a victory.
He fetched Solari’s chai and a nonfat, sugar-free lemon Greek yogurt—her favorite—and hurried off to her trailer. A couple of burly security guards paced the perimeter, put in place by Anna since things had started getting nasty online. Both of them knew Rafael on sight at this point. The one currently on the door side—Vaughn—let him by with a quick nod. Man of few words, that one.
Rafael climbed the steps and knocked. “Solari? It’s me, I have your tea and yogurt.”
“Oh good. Come in.”
Her voice sounded stuffy. Worried, Rafael opened the door and shut it quickly behind him, in case anyone outside had a zoom lens or something. One look at Solari’s face told him she’d been crying. And he figured he knew why.
“Oh, honey.” He crossed the small room, set the cardboard tray on the table, and sat on the sofa beside Solari. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, and tears leaked from her red, swollen eyes. Heart breaking for her, he pulled her into a hug. “Don’t listen to all those jerks. People are ignorant and mean, especially when they’re jealous and unhappy. Everyone who knows you loves you. Never forget that.”
She laughed, the sound needle sharp. “I know. And I’m grateful, believe me. But sometimes it’s simply not enough.”
Oh crap. This wasn’t about any online bullshit.
Rafael sat back enough to study her face. “What happened?”
“Gina h
ad to fly back to LA late last night. And of course I knew she would need to return to work at some point. I would never hold that against her.” Solari’s lips curved into a sad smile. “She was so relieved to be going back home. She tried to hide it, but I could tell. And the thing is, I can’t blame her. I’m used to living in a fishbowl. She isn’t. And the stress of it has already put such a distance between us, Rafael. That’s the worst part. It used to be that whenever we were actually together, we were fine. We were good. But ever since that press conference, we’ve fought constantly, over nothing at all.” She sighed. Rubbed at her swollen eyes with one hand. “This is exactly what I was afraid would happen.”
“I’m so sorry. What can I do to help? Anything you need, anytime, let me know.” He took her hand in both of his. “You know Nat and I are here for you, right? We love you.”
She gave him a watery smile. “I know. I love you both as well, and I’m so very grateful for your friendship.” She squeezed his fingers. “How is Nat? He’s seemed so preoccupied lately, ever since that night at Ma Cougar’s. I’ve been worried about him.”
What to tell her? If Nat hadn’t said anything, Rafael didn’t think he should. “There’s some tension between Nat and his dad,” he hedged. “Plus you know his dad has some health problems. All that’s kind of weighing him down.”
“Oh. I see.” Her dark eyes shone with sympathy. “I’m so glad he has you, Rafael. He keeps everyone else at arm’s length, even his friends. But I think you and he have become quite close, and I think that’s good for you both.”
Warmth flooded Rafael’s veins, like it did every time he thought of Nat. “I know it’s been awesome for me. I like to think it’s been good for Nat too. I hope so. He’s become very important to me.”
A smile brightened her face, chasing away some of the sadness. “I’m so happy to hear that. For what it’s worth, I do believe that you’ve become important to him as well.”
Rafael’s heart turned over. He wasn’t ready to put a name to his feelings for Nat. He only knew that it was something deeper than friendship. “I came out here for my career. For the chance to maybe work with Anna. And that’s happening, which is awesome. Better than I’d ever dreamed. But I never expected to find someone like Nat. I mean, we’re still new, but it feels right. You know? And I didn’t expect that.”
“Oh, my darling.” Solari framed his face in her palms and pulled his head down, resting their foreheads together. “Life’s surprises can be beautiful, or terrible. Learn to cherish the good ones.”
He clung to her small, steady hands. She was right. His relationship with Nat wasn’t something he’d planned. But it was good. It made him happy. Nat made him happy. And maybe it was time they talked about the future. How to keep going when the day inevitably came that Rafael had to go back to Hollywood. Because as much as he loved it here, he didn’t intend to spend his whole life as a PA. He had bigger plans for his future.
Tomorrow, he promised himself. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.
At least, that was Rafael’s plan. Life, however, had a way of screwing things up. Between his duties with Solari and his part-time apprenticeship with Anna, Rafael was run off his feet, and Nat’s filming schedule had exploded lately. Meaning they hadn’t spent as much time together as either of them would’ve liked.
In fact, a whole week passed between Rafael’s vow to discuss their future with Nat and the next time they were able to spend more than a few minutes alone.
It was a warm, sunny Saturday in early May, the kind of day that drew even the most diehard couch potato outdoors to enjoy the flower-scented breeze and the sparkle of sunshine on the water. Rafael had suggested a hike up to the same hilltop where Nat had taken him before, and Nat had readily agreed.
This time, Rafael insisted on carrying the backpack with the food in it. Which kept getting him narrow-eyed glances from Nat. “Seriously, Hollywood. You should let me carry that.” Nat helped him scramble over a huge tree that had fallen across the forest path. “It looks heavy.”
“Well, it’s not.” Rafael answered Nat’s raised eyebrows with a defiant glare. “I’m not a complete weakling, you know. I can carry a backpack.”
A slow smile spread over Nat’s face. “Uh-huh. You don’t want me to know what’s in there.”
Damn. Busted. He’d brought wine, homemade empanadas, and decadent chocolate tarts from Cookie Crumbles. A strange but special meal to complement the speech he’d been practicing in his head for the past few days.
Not that he was going to admit that.
He lifted his chin and did his best to convey the sense of looking down at Nat in spite of being several inches shorter. “Maybe I want to prove to a certain werewolf I know that I’m more than a pretty Hollywood face.”
The teasing gleam in Nat’s pale eyes softened into a fondness that made Rafael’s heart thump. Nat sidled closer, slipped his arms around Rafael’s waist, and pressed against him. “You’re way more than that.”
Joy blossomed in Rafael’s chest, stealing his breath. Framing Nat’s face with his hands, he tilted his head for a kiss. And it felt like a dream, like a fairy tale, kissing in the brilliant green forest, no one around but the two of them, the sun breaking through the branches in fitful bursts and birdsong ringing in the air around them. Rafael wondered if they’d fallen into their own time bubble, drifting along forever in this one perfect moment.
Nat broke the kiss and trailed his lips down Rafael’s throat. “I hope you brought supplies.”
“Supplies?” Shivers raced over Rafael’s skin when Nat nibbled the sensitive spot where his neck curved into his shoulder. “Mmm. Do that again.”
Nat obliged, biting hard enough to tear a gasp from Rafael. “C’mon, don’t play dumb. You know. Supplies.”
When he got it, the knowledge of what Nat wanted to do on the hilltop sent all the blood rushing from Rafael’s brain to his crotch. “Oh. Supplies.” He clung to Nat, head spinning. “Um . . .”
“That means no, doesn’t it?”
Rafael’s cheeks heated. “Well, honestly, public sex never occurred to me.”
Nat laughed, his breath warm and soft on Rafael’s neck. “I don’t know if you could really call it public. It’s pretty unlikely anyone else’ll be up there.”
“True. Still . . .”
“Still, we can consider this me popping your public sex cherry?” Nat lifted his head and grinned.
Rafael snickered. “Whatever makes you happy, Wolfman.” He caught a stray strand of Nat’s baby-fine hair and gave it a tug. “Let’s get going. Now that you brought up the possibility of getting some action, I want to hustle on up there.”
Heat chased away the amusement in Nat’s eyes. “Who says we have to wait? Maybe we can’t fuck, but I can sure as shit imagine you sitting on that log there while I suck your dick.”
The mental image hit Rafael like a runaway train. His knees wobbled. “You have a hell of a way with words.”
“’Cause I like to use my mouth.” Nat sank to his knees, slowly, his gaze holding Rafael’s the whole time. “What d’you say, Hollywood? You want me to suck your cock? Right here in the woods?” He lowered his head. Buried his face in Rafael’s crotch and breathed deep. “Mmm. Smells like you want me to.”
Oh God. Rafael threaded his fingers through Nat’s hair. His pulse thudded in his ears. “I could totally go for that right now, actually.”
“First things first.” Grinning like the wolf-demon he was, Nat rose gracefully to his feet and started pulling off his clothes.
For Nat, watching Rafael watch him undress was a huge turn-on. The way Rafael’s round cheeks flushed, the way he sucked on his plump lower lip and stared at Nat’s too-thin chest with unfiltered lust smoldering in those dark eyes . . .
“I like how you look at me.” Nat tossed aside his T-shirt and toed off his shoes. He lifted his feet one at a time to take off his socks, enjoying the feel of the cool leaf litter on his bare soles. “Like you want to eat me up.”
Oh, hell yeah. “I’ll allow it. After I make you come.”
Rafael’s eyelids fluttered. “Ah.”
God, Nat loved that helpless little sound. Loved that he had the power to turn Rafael silent with desire. He’d never been able to do that before. Not with any of the few casual sex partners he’d had, or the girl he’d thought he was in love with back in high school. Not even with Lem, who’d been a great lay, and—for a little while—a friend.
For the first time in his life, he felt good in his own skin, and he liked it.
His gaze still locked with Rafael’s, he stepped forward until their bodies almost touched. He could see the rapid pulse throbbing in Rafael’s throat. Lust and something else—something sweeter, something that Nat couldn’t bring himself to name directly, even in his own mind—shone in Rafael’s eyes. Rafael reached out to rest his palms on Nat’s hips. His hands shook, and Nat fell a little bit harder.
Chest tight, Nat ran his hands over Rafael’s shoulders, caressing the strong, hard, streamlined muscle under Rafael’s shirt. He grasped the backpack straps, lifted, and eased them down Rafael’s arms, smiling at Rafael’s unresisting compliance. Turned-on Rafael was as adorable as he was sexy.
The backpack went clink when it dropped into the leaves. Nat spared half a second to wonder what in the hell Rafael had in there, but he couldn’t be bothered to think about it for too long. He had more interesting things on his mind. Like getting his mouth around Rafael’s delicious dick.
He sank to his knees like he’d done a few minutes ago. Rafael’s cheeks flushed red under the sparse stubble Nat found so charming. His fingers found their usual spot in Nat’s hair, his eyes drifting shut when Nat pushed his shirt up and nuzzled his belly. “God, Nat.”
“Mmm.” Nat drew a deep breath spiced with skin, soap, sweat, and a hint of woodsy cologne. And over it all, the heady, drugging scent of Rafael’s arousal. “You smell good.”