I don’t have to wonder—unfortunately I know firsthand.
Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “Who knows?”
“Do you want to grab a coffee or something sometime?” he asks, smiling down at me.
“Oh. Ummm.”
“Just as friends,” he corrects himself, but looks slightly disappointed at my answer.
“I don’t think so,” I say, being honest with him. “I don’t think my boyfriend would be happy with that.”
Plus, I have no plans to see you ever again.
“Right,” he murmurs. “Of course you’d be taken. I’m glad you’re well, Lana. Your man, he’s a lucky one.”
We say an awkward good-bye, then part ways.
Seeing William makes me miss Tracker. I don’t want to go backward; I want to go forward.
And Tracker is my future.
If I have to fight for him, I will.
* * *
Tracker and Arrow are standing next to their bikes outside the clubhouse. They must have just come back from somewhere. They both stare at me as I get out of my car and approach them.
“Hey, Lana,” Arrow says, eyes crinkling, then he leaves me alone with Tracker.
“Hey,” I say, looking into the blue eyes that I miss every second of every day. “Can we talk?”
“Got a call about you today,” he says, an unreadable expression on his face.
“A call about what?” I ask, shifting on my feet.
“Someone saw you out with a guy,” he says, jaw clenching so tight it looks painful.
“Are you kidding me?” I ask. “I was at the mall and ran into someone I knew in high school.”
“Who?” he asks, studying me.
“Some guy. William. I had a crush on him back in the day and he screwed me over,” I snap.
“Do you want me to beat the shit out of him?” he asks casually, like he is asking me what I wanted for lunch. “You should have called me. What’s his full name?”
“Umm, no. But thank you for offering,” I tell him.
“Offer still stands,” he says, smiling a little.
“Who saw me? Do you have spies everywhere, or have you got someone following me? That’s a little stalkerish, don’t you think?” I say, annoyed.
Tracker avoids the question. Instead, he nods. “You wanna go inside, or you wanna go for a ride?”
I eye his bike longingly and he chuckles. “Ride it is.”
On the back of his bike, my arms wrapped around his chest, I close my eyes and feel like I’m home. We ride for over an hour before coming to a stop at a scenic view, overlooking the ocean.
“I don’t like that you let other women touch you. You had to have known in the back of your mind that we would want to get back together,” I blurt out as soon as we’re both off his Harley.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I wasn’t thinking, Lana, I was just feeling. Hurting. I wanted to forget, and I guess I told myself we weren’t really together, so it wasn’t cheating.”
I narrow my eyes at his convenient logic.
“I know I fucked up,” he adds. “I told you. I’ll never ever turn to another woman, no matter what happens between us. It was fucked-up and not the mentality I want to use. Some bikers do cheat, but I’m not one of them, at least not with you. Never with you. I don’t even want anyone else, okay? I guess it was almost like trying to go back to what my life was like before you entered it, but it was bullshit because I don’t want to go back. You’re my life now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Okay,” I say slowly. “I hooked up with someone too, so you can’t be mad, going by the rules you made.”
He smirks. “No, you didn’t. You’re not that type of woman, Lana.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “See. How is this fair? I’m a good woman, so I get screwed over and am just supposed to forgive you for everything?”
“I forgive you too,” he says. “For keeping shit from me. We’re also going to have a long talk about anything else you’ve been keeping to yourself. I want to know everything. And now I’m directly asking you, so you can’t get away with your sneaky little omissions.”
I open my mouth, then close it when I can’t think of anything to say. “I think that’s everything. Oh, except I actually went to high school with Allie. She was a bitch then, just like she is now.”
“No shit?” he says, looking surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug, looking down. Then explain my history about Allie and William in detail. “She didn’t remember me at first. She made my life a living hell, so I didn’t want her to have something else over me.”
He comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He presses his lips against my neck, and says, “Fuck her. You’re ten times the woman she’ll ever be. God, I’ve missed your smell.”
“Don’t push me away again like that, Tracker,” I warn. “If we fight, then we fight, but the way you just cut me out? It really hurt. You were an asshole and I didn’t deserve it. If you’re going to do shit like that again, then I don’t want to do this with you.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, okay? And I never say sorry, so know how much I mean it. I can be a dick, all right? But fuck, only you have the power to hurt me like that, and I didn’t handle it very well.”
“You think?” I all but growl.
“I said I’m sorry,” he says in a gentle tone filled with regret. “It won’t happen again. I don’t know what the fuck else I can say to make you forgive me.” He pauses. “Don’t even think about getting even though. I’ll kill any fucker you try and let near you.”
My lip twitches at that. The thought never even crossed my mind, but it’s interesting that it did his. “If you even look at another woman—”
“I didn’t even look at another woman, I only wanted you,” he says. “I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. Trust me, she’s nowhere near as good as you, so it didn’t fucking work, then I pushed her off me. I knew I’d fucked up right then and there.”
I elbow him in the stomach. “I hate you! You’re such a pig, Tracker!”
“Just being honest,” he grumbles. “Fuck, I can’t win, can I?”
“Not when some other bitch had her mouth on you! Did she lick over your piercing like I like to do?” I ask harshly, even the thought of it infuriating me further.
“Lana—”
“I seriously hate you,” I yell, cutting him off.
“Well, I love you enough for the both of us. Now give me a kiss,” he demands. “Haven’t had those lips in too fuckin’ long. I’ve been dreaming of them, Lana.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he growls, cupping my face in his hands. “Don’t tell me no unless you mean it.”
“Did you kiss anyone else?” I ask, looking him right in the eye.
“No,” he says quietly, tightening his hold on me. “One blow job. One. That’s it, I swear it. And I regret it. I was just so angry, Lana. I didn’t even come. I pushed her off me and went to my room, feeling fuckin’ disgusted with myself.”
“You will regret it when I’m done with you,” I vow.
He chuckles. “My bloodthirsty woman.”
“Still don’t like you,” I snap. “You better have gotten tested since you had some random woman’s mouth all over you.”
“I did. I wouldn’t put you in danger. I’ll always be honest with you, even when the truth hurts,” he says. “I don’t want any lies between us. I don’t want to hurt you either. I don’t like seeing the pain in your eyes.”
“We messed up,” I say on a sigh. “Both of us.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s too late,” he says, turning me around and kissing my mouth. “This will never be done with. Never. We’re not perfect, but as long as we aren’t giving up, then fuck it, we can make it work.”
“That easy, huh?”
“No, not easy, I just want you that much, so I’m willing to put up with all the shit I know you’re gonna throw my way.
”
We kiss.
Lots.
Then head back to my apartment and make love.
* * *
For the first time ever, I turn Tracker down for sex.
We’re in my kitchen, and I’ve just finished cooking breakfast.
“Why not?” he asks, not sounding angry, just curious.
I look at Evie. “I’m not having sex in front of her. Scar her for life!”
He looks down at Evie and calls her a cock block, sounding amused.
“Do you want to come to Rift tonight? I think Faye is going.”
“What about Anna?” I ask.
“Not sure,” he replies. “You’ll have to call and ask her.”
“I will.”
“Did you have to put a pink sparkly collar on the dog? She’s meant to be a man killer, not a fairy princess,” he comments, staring down at Evie.
“She can be a guard dog and look good at the same time,” I reply, making him close his eyes and shake his head at me.
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Rethinking us getting back together already?” I tease.
“Never.”
“Good answer.”
“It’s the truth,” he says, crouching down to pat Evie. “I better get going, had a missed call from Sin. I’ll come pick you up tonight.”
He kisses me, his mouth lingering. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you too,” I reply dreamily.
“Call me if you need anything.”
“What if I need something now?” I ask, playing coy.
He looks down at Evie.
“In the bedroom,” I suggest. “Meet you there.”
I start running to my room, but he catches me and throws me over his shoulder. “As if your short legs could outrun me.”
“I have long legs for my height!” I argue.
He chuckles. “Compared to mine?”
“Maybe I wanted to get caught.”
He slaps my ass, the sound echoing throughout the room. “I know you wanted to get caught.”
“Now that you have me, what are you going to do with me?” I ask, putting on my best sultry tone.
“Hmmmm,” he murmurs, throwing me down on the bed. He glances at the mirrors on my bedroom sliding doors. “I think I’m gonna fuck you from behind, watching your face and pretty tits in the mirror.”
I clamp my thighs together. Yeah, I might like this idea.
“And then what?” I probe.
“Then, I’m gonna pull out, go down on you, tasting your sweet pussy. After you come, I’m gonna lie you down on your side, sliding into you until both of us come again,” he says in a low tone. “Then I’m gonna get back to the clubhouse before Sin kills me.”
Two hours later, Tracker leaves.
There’s my exercise for the day.
TWENTY-EIGHT
TWO WEEKS LATER
ANNA, Faye, Jess, and I are at the clubhouse, cooking a huge dinner for the men. Several members from other chapters are visiting, and we want to be good hosts. Faye got the call first from Sin.
“Yes, they’re all here with me,” she says into her phone, sounding worried. She looks us over. “Anna, Jess, Lana, and me.” She pauses. “All right.”
She looks up at us. “We’re not allowed to leave the clubhouse under any circumstances.”
“Why?” Anna asks, putting down the potato peeler. “What’s happened now?”
“No idea,” Faye replies. “The men are still coming to visit, so let’s get this food made. I’ll grab my gun in case anything does happen.”
“Clover?” I ask.
“She’s protected,” Faye replies.
We watch her with wide eyes as she leaves to get her gun.
The woman is badass.
I look to Anna. “What are you going to get? Knives?”
She laughs, and pulls some brass knuckles out of her bag. “I have these babies.”
I roll my eyes. “Where the hell did you get those?”
Faye walks back into the kitchen. “I’ll go talk to Blade and whoever else is here. Lana, can you speak to Vinnie? He’s in his room last I saw.”
I walk to Vinnie’s door and knock. No answer. I try again but nothing. Turning the doorknob, I find the door unlocked, so I open it and peer inside. The bedroom is empty, so he must be in the bathroom.
“Vinnie?” I call out. I knock on the bathroom door, but there’s no answer. Turning the knob, I find it locked. What the hell is going on? I rush back out to the women.
“His bathroom door is locked but there’s no answer,” I say. “Something feels wrong.”
We all share a look.
“Anna, get Blade. He’s out front working on his bike.”
Anna nods and runs to the front yard, her brass knuckles in her hand.
“It could be nothing,” Jess says, glancing to Faye.
“I guess we’ll find out,” Faye replies, walking to Vinnie’s room with her gun in her hand. “Jess, call Sin and tell him to get here now just in case. I have a bad feeling too.”
Jess nods and grabs her phone as Faye and I enter Vinnie’s room.
“Fuck,” Faye bites out, her tone laced with panic.
“What?” I ask, following her gaze. “Shit.”
There was blood.
Sliding from under the bathroom door.
We both run to the door, trying to open it, banging on it, trying to kick it down—everything to no avail.
“Is there a window we could get in from?” I ask. Tracker’s bathroom has a window I could fit through; maybe Vinnie’s is the same. All I’d have to do is push out the screen.
Anna runs in with Blade.
“What the fuck is going on?” he asks.
We point to the blood. “Can you kick this door open? We need to get to him, now!”
We all move aside as Blade kicks open the door. It takes three tries, his huge biker boots denting the door until it finally gives.
What we see when we open the door shocks the hell out of all of us.
It isn’t Vinnie inside his bathroom.
It’s Allie.
And she’s dead.
* * *
The men arrive.
Vinnie rides up on his bike—apparently he was with Sin the whole time, not in his room. But the question is, who killed Allie, and how did they get into the clubhouse?
The men are pissed. On edge. Wondering who was behind this shit.
They check the entire compound from top to bottom, and someone takes Allie’s body away. The bathroom is cleaned by a professional. Then the men head to the off-limits room to have a club meeting, or church, as they call it.
Guests from other chapters start to arrive, and when they hear what happened, they vow to help with whatever they can. The party atmosphere isn’t there anymore, of course, it’s more a business, we-have-shit-to-get-done vibe, but we still make sure everyone is taken care of, well fed, and watered.
When I finally sit down, I start to process Allie’s death and seeing her lying like that on the floor. Blood was gushing from her head, like she’d been hit with a crowbar or another sharp object. Her eyes were half-open and staring blankly ahead. Shit. I didn’t like the woman, but that didn’t mean I wanted to see her hurt, or dead. Did someone kill her, or did she slip and fall? Feeling guilty over all my uncharitable thoughts over the years, I stare down at my hands, wondering what Tracker was going through right now. At one point, I knew he cared for her, maybe even loved her. She’d been living here for so long, all of the men were used to having her around. I scan the room. How was everyone dealing with this?
After what feels like hours, Tracker resurfaces, looking tired and angry. He stands in front of me, and I rest my head on his thigh. He runs his hand through my hair, cupping my head against him.
“Come take a shower with me,” he says, his voice rough. I stand and walk with him to his bathroom. When he stands there, looking a little lost, I undress him and turn the shower on. When the te
mperature is right, I lead him inside, then undress myself and join him.
“Are you okay?” I ask, picking up the soap and washing his body.
“Fuck.” He sighs. “I didn’t love her but . . . Christ, Lana. I didn’t even know where she was all this time. She was killed because of us, and she wasn’t protected by us. I don’t even know what to feel. She hurt you, so there’s no way in hell I’d want her back in the clubhouse, but I didn’t want her dead.”
“I know,” I tell him softly. “I know. No one expected something like this.”
He lets his back sink down the wall, until he’s sitting on the tiled floor.
I sit next to him, rest my head on his shoulder, the water droplets raining on us.
Bitch or not, Allie was Wind Dragons.
And everyone is feeling her death.
* * *
A few days after Allie’s funeral, the club gets some information. Zach, one of the members from another chapter and Rake’s friend, found out that Allie was staying with another man after she was kicked out of the clubhouse. And that man is the vice president of the Kings of Hell MC. Slowly the puzzle is being pieced together. Did Allie turn to them? Or did the man seduce her? She might have gone to them for revenge, knowing the Wind Dragons didn’t like the Kings of Hell in their territory, or maybe it was a coincidence? I seriously doubt the latter, but hope it wasn’t the former.
“So what are you going to do about the Kings of Hell?” I ask Tracker.
“We organized a meet with them tonight. They haven’t even told us what they want, why they’re here, so first we find that out. Go from there,” he answers, putting on his boots, then glancing up at me.
“You doing okay with all this?”
I nod. “Yeah, I mean, as well as any civilian can.”
That gets a small smile out of him. “You aren’t a civilian anymore, Lana, you’re my old lady.”
“Right,” I reply, running my hand down my arm. “I’m okay. I’m here for you, whatever you need, whatever the club needs. I’m all in.”
He stands and places his hands on each side of my face. “What I need is for you to stay safe. Don’t leave here unless you’re with two of the men. Two, all right? At least until we know more. Tonight while we’re at the meet, this place will be on lockdown. No one leaves and no one comes. So prepare for that.”
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