A second later the door swung open. ‘I don’t want his shitty breakfast.’
Sam took one look at Erin’s wet cheeks, her red-rimmed eyes, and held back the sarcastic retort she wanted to deliver. Still, the thought of Ryan downstairs, weighed down by misery, was too painful for her to leave this alone. ‘Why are you so mean to him?’
Erin shrugged, the casual gesture not fooling Sam. ‘Don’t act like you didn’t hear what I said downstairs.’
‘I heard what a tough time you’ve had, yes, and I’m sorry.’ She paused. ‘Have you ever considered how it was for Ryan, when he was your age?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean it’s tough, living with an alcoholic parent, I can see that. But he had to go through it too. The difference is, I suspect there were many times he had to take care of you, as well.’ She made sure to catch Erin’s eye. ‘That’s a lot to put on a teenage kid.’
Erin moved to shut the door on her. ‘I don’t need to listen to this.’
Sam put her foot in the way, stopping her. ‘I think you do. I think you need to ask yourself why Ryan has no qualifications. Why he left you when he was eighteen, because it sure wasn’t to do what most smart guys his age would do and go to university.’
‘Just goes to show what you know. He didn’t like school or studying. Didn’t even go out with his mates. He preferred sitting in his room, playing on his computer.’
‘Maybe he didn’t prefer that,’ she countered quietly. ‘Maybe he felt he had no choice.’
Erin blinked, then turned away sharply. ‘Go away.’
Sam sighed. What had she expected? That Erin would magically start to soften a stance built from nine years of resentment? ‘Okay, I’ll leave you to get ready.’
She was halfway down the stairs when she heard Erin shout through the closed door. ‘Tell Ryan I want a cup of tea and eggy bread.’
Feeling the pleasant hum of a small victory she went to rejoin Ryan, who was stirring a pan on the small hob. ‘Erin says she’d like tea and eggy bread.’
His head snapped round, his expression a curious mixture of shock, puzzlement and tentative hope. ‘She did?’
‘Yep. Why the surprise?’
‘Eggy bread.’ A small smile curved his lips. ‘It’s what I used to make her years ago.’
‘When you still lived at home?’
‘Yeah.’
‘When you used to get on?’ she added softly.
He nodded. ‘She was easy to please in those days. She’d have had eggy bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner if she could.’ His face twisted. ‘Sometimes she did.’
‘But look at her now,’ Sam said firmly, desperate for him to stop beating himself up. ‘At the young lady you helped to nurture. How strong and capable she is. How beautiful.’
‘How stubborn. How mouthy.’
Better. Sam smiled. ‘She’s not afraid to stand up for herself. It’s a good thing. Not unlike her brother.’
He laughed then, a sound that warmed her inside. ‘Careful, Sunshine. You’re close to admitting you like me being a stubborn git.’
‘No, I’m not.’ Shaking her head, she pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. ‘I’m saying I like you. All of you. Very much. Even the parts that make me want to scream.’
The sexy smirk was back. ‘I like making you scream.’ But then his face turned serious, his eyes more intense. ‘You know I like all of you, too, don’t you?’ He trailed his thumb across her lips, his eyes darkening. ‘More than like, in fact.’
Her heart jumped, but before she could reply, before she could tell him it was more than like for her, too, they were interrupted by the smell of burning.
‘Bugger, bollocks.’ He lunged at the pan of charred scrambled eggs, lifting it off the hob. ‘Shit.’
She couldn’t help it. She started to laugh. ‘I think I’ll take the eggy bread instead.’
‘You seriously think that’ll go any better?’ He proceeded to scrape the eggs out of the pan and onto the waiting toast. ‘Serves you right for distracting me.’
He shoved the plate at her and she bit into her lip, desperate not to giggle because he looked so frustrated. ‘Thanks,’ she managed. ‘I love burnt scrambled eggs.’
‘Piss off and eat it.’ The warmth in his eyes, the affection in his tone, drowned out the sting of his words.
‘Are you allowed to tell your boss to piss off?’ Erin appeared in the doorway, dressed in skinny jeans and a T-shirt, her dark hair still wet, her face looking finely beautiful without makeup.
Sam gave her a level gaze. ‘I’m not his boss here.’
Ryan clattered the egg pan into the sink. ‘Sam tells me you want eggy bread?’
Erin raised her chin as she answered, as if daring him to comment. ‘Yes.’
He ignored the bait. ‘Coming right up.’
Half an hour later they were back at the hospital. While Erin rushed ahead, Ryan held onto Sam’s arm. ‘You should head back. I’ve taken you away from the office for long enough as it is.’ He jammed a restless hand through his hair. ‘I’ll catch the train when I know Mum’s okay and Erin isn’t on her own. Then I’ll work through the night to get the beta version finished.’
‘I’m not going back until you come and tell me how your mum is. Take as long as you need.’
She sensed his hesitation. ‘If you don’t go back soon, everyone in the office will know where you spent the night.’
Anxiety knotted her insides, but it wasn’t enough to change her mind. She didn’t just want to stay until she knew everything was okay, she needed to. ‘We’ll worry about that later. Go and say hello to your mum. I’ll be in the waiting room when you’re ready.’
Still he didn’t move. Instead his eyes travelled over her face, before staring into hers. ‘I don’t know if I said it enough, but thank you.’
‘You’ve said it plenty. Go.’
Still he hesitated, his gaze drifting to her mouth, as if deciding whether to kiss her or not. Just as she started to anticipate the feel of his lips, he turned and strode off. Leaving her feeling acutely disappointed.
Chapter 31
He’d wanted to kiss her. It was only the realisation that kissing her in public was a no-no for her that had held him back. Even as Ryan raced through the doors of the hospital entrance though, desperate to see his mum, part of him was back with Sam.
I like you very much.
It wasn’t the first time she’d told him that, and like was good, right? Especially considering it was only a few months ago he’d overheard her saying to Lucas, ‘I know Ryan isn’t likeable.’
But. But.
His feelings had moved on from like. In fact, he was pretty certain he’d tumbled head-first into love. Considering Sam was only just coming out of a traumatic breakup, that she was so hesitant about their relationship she wanted to keep it quiet, oh, and that she was most definitely way out of his league, falling in love with her was neither clever nor sensible.
Yet from the day he’d realised he was working for the woman he’d had an unforgettable one-night stand with, falling for her had been utterly unavoidable.
And now he was left with his mind a mass of jumbled emotions, and his heart so full it hurt.
He shoved aside the messy thoughts as he approached his mum’s bed, relieved to see her sitting up and chatting to Erin.
‘You look a lot better.’
She glanced up and smiled. ‘I feel a lot better.’
‘Good.’ He bent to kiss her cheek.
Immediately she touched his face, her familiar brown eyes searching his. ‘Thank you for coming back to see me. For taking care of your sister.’
He sighed, placing his hands over hers. ‘I told you before. Don’t thank me for being a son, or a brother.’ When she nodded, he stepped back and went to sit on the opposite side of the bed to Erin.
‘I’ve talked to Erin and we agree you need to get back to work.’ He opened his mouth to protest but his mum held up her hand. ‘Erin’s fri
end Hayley is coming round to stay with her tonight and the doctor said I can go home tomorrow.’
‘She did? That’s great.’
‘Apparently I’m a model patient.’ A cloud passed over his mum’s face. ‘Shame I’m not a model mother.’
‘Hey.’ Ryan clutched her hand. ‘Don’t ever think that. You went through a crap time. It would have broken most people but you pulled through.’
‘Booze pulled me through.’
The heavy pressure on his chest was a familiar sensation. It was how he always felt when he thought of her drinking. ‘You don’t need it now. Maybe the heart attack is the shove you need to make you realise that.’
‘Maybe you’re right.’ She looked him straight in the eye. ‘I’m going to try.’
He’d heard it before, but Ryan gave her an encouraging smile. One day, he kept telling himself. One day, she’d mean it. ‘I can’t ask for more than that. I love you.’ He glanced over at his sister, who for once wasn’t looking at him as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him. ‘Erin loves you. We both want you around for a long time to come.’
His mum sniffed, eyes welling. ‘Since when did you turn so mushy?’
‘Since he’s met Sam.’ Ryan snapped his gaze to Erin, who shrugged. ‘Come on, I’m not stupid. She’s more than your boss.’
He could feel his mum watching him. His sister watching him. Crap. What was he supposed to do now? Look them in the eye and lie to them both? ‘She’s a friend.’
Erin rolled her eyes. ‘A friend you want to sleep with. If you’re not doing it already.’
Rubbing at his forehead, he wondered how the hell to get out of this conversational minefield. He almost wanted Erin to go back to not talking to him. Almost. ‘Look, it’s true I fancy Sam. She’s strong, ballsy, funny and incredibly attractive. She’s also smart enough not to get involved with the likes of me.’ It wasn’t far from the truth. She certainly didn’t want to get involved with him publicly.
‘Yet she took time away from running her company to drive you here last night.’ His mum frowned. ‘Hang on, where is she now?’
Ah. Uncomfortable with the question, Ryan shifted on the bed. ‘She’s in the waiting room. She wants to hear how you are before she leaves.’
A look he couldn’t quite decipher came and went in his mum’s eyes. ‘Would she mind … I mean, do you think I could …’ She trailed off, shaking her head, eyes avoiding his.
‘Do you want to meet her?’
Her eyes darted back up to his. ‘Only if you wouldn’t be embarrassed.’
‘Embarrassed? Because you’re in a hospital bed?’ When she shook her head, he leant forward, choosing his next words carefully. ‘Don’t start making stuff up in your head that isn’t real. If you want to meet my boss’ – he emphasised the word – ‘I’m sure she’d love to drop by.’ Because he now guessed what was worrying her, he added. ‘And I’d be happy for her to meet you.’
Pleasure trickled into her eyes and she smiled. ‘Right then, you go and fetch her. Erin, love, be a sweetheart and bring me a mirror. And a hairbrush. Oh, and have you any blusher in that handbag of yours? Maybe some lipstick?’
Chuckling to himself, Ryan went to hunt Sam down.
Sam made two calls while waiting for Ryan to come back. The first to Becky, letting her know where she was, and why.
‘Is this a new service you’re providing to all of us, or is it reserved for special employees?’
‘Very funny. He wasn’t in a fit state to drive and even if he was, his car is a heap of junk. It would have been lucky to make it.’
‘Think he managed the drive a few weekends ago.’
Sam huffed. ‘Okay, okay. I … he … look, I was there when he got the call. I wanted to help.’ If there was one thing worse than lying to a friend, it was knowing the need to lie was entirely self-induced.
As if she knew she wasn’t getting the full story, Becky let out a soft sigh. ‘Tell him I’m glad his mum is okay.’
The next call she made was to the investor who’d threatened to pull out yesterday – was it really less than twenty-four hours ago? ‘We’re working on a beta version which we’ll have with you shortly.’
‘You know I only deal with hard facts. When, Sam, when?’
She winced, unwilling to lay more pressure on Ryan’s shoulders. ‘By the end of the week.’ It gave them two working days, and potentially the weekend because she could always argue she’d not specified the end of the working week.
‘Fine. I look forward to finally seeing this updated app I have so much money invested in.’
Feeling horribly conflicted, she ended the call and sat back against the seat. She loved her company, but right now she resented it for making her hassle a man who was trying to take care of his family.
‘Hey.’ At the sound of Ryan’s voice, she lurched back upright. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ She pasted on a bright smile. ‘How’s your mum?’
‘Good, thanks. In fact …’ He glanced down at his feet, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Then laughed softly. ‘Shit, this is probably going to freak you out, but she wants to see you.’
‘She does?’ Surprise mixed with pleasure, alongside a hefty dollop of oh my God. This was Ryan’s mum.
‘You don’t have to.’ He’d obviously taken her muted response as a lack of enthusiasm. ‘I can see it’s weirded you out.’
‘Don’t be daft.’ She gave herself a mental shake. ‘I’d love to meet your mum. I mean, you’ve met mine.’
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘True. Look, I’ve not told Mum you’re … we’re …’ He sighed, shifting on his feet. ‘She knows I fancy you. That’s it.’
Guilt pricked at her. ‘I’m sorry. I know you hate lying. It’s okay if you want to tell her.’
‘Tell her what, exactly? We’re having an affair but actually it’s all a big secret so I can’t say anything?’ He huffed, glancing away. ‘It’s easier this way.’
And there it was again, she thought as he led her back towards the ward. The unease she knew he felt at being asked to keep their relationship quiet. She hated that she was the one making him do that. Making him go against his moral code.
But people were human. They talked. Secrets accidentally slipped out and before long everyone knew your business. People who were supposed to respect you, people you worked with, who worked for you, suddenly knew you’d been cheated on, maybe even before you did. They knew when you’d been humiliatingly betrayed. And slowly the respect turned to pity.
Her stomach churned and she placed a hand on it, trying to quell the rising nausea.
‘Are you okay?’
She gave the past a determined shove. ‘I’m good.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Something’s up, but I’ll have to let it pass. Mum’s just round the corner.’
What did it mean that he knew her so well he could tell she was lying? She couldn’t remember Damien ever reading her like that.
He pushed open the door to a small room, just inside the ward.
‘Mum, this is Sam Huxton, my boss—’
‘Hi, Maggie, I’m Ryan’s friend,’ Sam cut in, hating the boss reminder, even though he was only using it to protect her desire for secrecy. ‘We spoke on the phone once but it’s lovely to meet you in person. How are you doing?’
Maggie shook her hand and gave her a warm smile. ‘Grand, thank you, lass.’ She glanced at Erin, then at Ryan. ‘Why don’t you two go and get yourselves a drink? Leave me and Sam to have a chat.’
Sam bit down on a smile as she saw Ryan’s expression turn wary. ‘Now wait a minute.’
Maggie waved her hand at him. ‘Shoo. Sam and I are going to talk in private.’
He wasn’t happy, that much was obvious, but he dutifully walked out, Erin trailing behind him. Sam gave a low whistle. ‘That’s impressive. He never does what I ask him to do.’
Maggie smiled gently. ‘Oh, I doubt that very much. From what I can see, he’s got
a real soft spot for you.’ Before Sam could panic about how to reply, Maggie was talking again. ‘I know I must seem daft, wanting to meet my son’s boss when I’m laid up here in a hospital bed.’
There was something about Maggie’s searching look that drew the next words from Sam. ‘I’m more than his boss.’
Maggie gave her hand a quick squeeze. ‘I know, dear. Not that he’s said anything, mind, but why else would you bring him here last night?’ She watched Sam carefully. ‘I think you have a soft spot for him, too.’
It wasn’t hard to admit. Not when her actions had made it so obvious. ‘I do.’
Maggie’s smile was one of quiet satisfaction. ‘Then I hope you won’t mind me telling you a bit about what he had to put up with when he was a kid. He’d hate me for saying it, but you’re the first woman I’ve seen him show a real interest in and I don’t want him to scare you off. Not before you’ve had a chance to see the real him.’
Sam started to laugh. ‘Oh, he’s shown me plenty of his scary side, trust me.’ She gazed at Maggie steadily. ‘And I’m still here.’
Maggie grinned broadly. ‘I knew, even from that short chat we had in the car, that I’d like you. You have backbone. Just like he does.’ She sighed, sinking into her pillow. ‘Now then, what has he told you already? That I’m an alcoholic? That he had to leave home to work because I’d lost my job and the bank was threatening to kick us out of the house?’
‘I know you’ve had a tough time,’ Sam replied quietly. ‘And that he loves you.’
Tears welled in Maggie’s eyes and she wiped at them, shaking her head. ‘He’s a daft sod.’
‘Actually, he’s incredibly bright,’ Sam cut in and Maggie laughed.
‘Aye, you’re right.’ Her face sobered. ‘But that’s not thanks to me. He thinks I don’t know he was bullied at school because he couldn’t go out with the other lads. Not while he was taking care of me and Erin. And of course the things they’d say about me, calling me names. It can’t have been easy for him to hear all that. It’s no wonder he ended up in so many fights. No wonder he used to bunk off school and shut himself in his room, just him and his computer.’
The New Guy Page 24