by Jane Price
I hit send then and the only thing that I could do was wait. As the hours passed me by, I figured that Julia was not going to respond back to me, but I jumped up in glee once I saw her name on the screen.
Michael,
I have to give you some credit; at least you have the decency to feel shitty about what you’ve done to me. I really don’t want to see you right now because I’m still hurting. However, if you can follow simple instructions then I’d be willing to hear you out. I want to go to MY favorite restaurant. You know Shelley’s right, the restaurant that you hate? You will not touch me or call me anything but Julia. If you feel that you can restrain yourself and do what I’ve asked then I’ll go to dinner with you. Tomorrow night is the only night I have free.
Regards,
Julia.
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. She was right though, I hated Shelley’s with a passion but for the chance of seeing her, I’ll swallow my pride. I sent her a quick email telling her that I can behave myself and follow all of her rules. I told her that I will pick her up from her mother’s house at 7 and I hit send. I couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy. I had to keep reminding myself that this didn’t mean that we were getting back together, but at least she was willing to communicate with me.
Deciding that showering right now would be the best thing to do. I haven’t showered in days and the smell was starting to take its toll on me. Walking cheerfully into the bathroom, I discarded my clothes and turned on the shower head. The hot shower relaxed my tense body and I began feeling at ease. I just had to make it through the rest of tonight and tomorrow until I saw her again.
I exited the shower feeling refreshed when I heard my cellphone ringing in the next room,
“Hello,” I said without looking at the caller ID.
“Hey man it’s me” Jacob my closest friend since college said.
“Open the door, I’m outside.” I quickly put on a t-shirt and shorts and opened the door for Jacob.
“It’s time to get off your ass man! There’s no point in sitting here feeling sorry for yourself.” Shoving a bag of beer into my hands, he pushed passed me and walked into my living room. I closed the door behind me and followed him.
“What the hell am I supposed to be doing then?” I asked falling onto the sofa. Putting his feet on the table like he was the man of the house, Jacob grabbed one of the beers out of the bag once I put it on the table.
“You shouldn’t be acting like a little girl crying about how you’ve fucked up.” Jacob really did know how to make someone feel more like shit. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t so blunt. “You and Julia been together for ten years and yeah you fucked up, but it’s not every day a man tells his woman about his fuck ups.
She’s gonna give you another chance, just give her some time.” I grabbed one of the beers out of the bag and popped it open. I wasn’t so sure about that, but I knew that Jacob was right that I needed to get off of my ass and stop walking around like my dog just died.
“You might be right,” I said as I chugged the rest of the can.
“Julia emailed me today and said that she’d be willing to talk if I follow some rules.” Jacob snorted, reached onto the table, grabbed the remote, and turned on the game.
“Women,” Jacob said with a disgusted expression on his face. I shook my head; he really didn’t want to follow anyone’s rules but his own. “Sorry man, I know you want to talk about your feelings, but I can’t miss this game.” I laughed. Jacob was the only person who could come over to someone’s house to attempt to make them feel better, but then leave them hanging for something interesting on TV. I cracked open another beer, placed my feet on top of the table, and enjoyed the game with Jacob.
Chapter Two
Jacob left after the game mumbling something about losing a bet. Before he left, he slapped me on the shoulder and told me to grow some balls. I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot and for some odd reason, I slept like a baby. Having someone here with me to take my mind off of the situation really helped. It’s been a week since I’ve last seen and spoken to Julia so tonight was extremely important to me.
“Hey Mike,” Nathan called out as I made my way into the office fifteen minutes early. I was starting to feel a little down again, but I managed a small smile and greeted him back.
“Hey Nate, how’s the wife and kids?” Nathan sighed and sat down in his seat.
“The baby is growing up fast, she’s starting to walk now and getting into everything and breaking all my shit.” I laughed at him. Kids seemed to be walking earlier and earlier these days. I’m pretty sure she’s seven months. “And Christina might be pregnant again!” Nathan slammed down his paperwork and I couldn’t help but to laugh a little harder.
“Hang in there,” I said as I made my way to my cubicle. I needed that laugh, even though it was wrong, I was happy that other people were having a hard time like I was.
I spent the rest of my day handling projects that I neglected to do a week ago and I avoided Elizabeth as much as I could. We both worked as paralegals at a law firm so avoiding her for most of the day was a miracle considering we worked on the same floor. I couldn’t look at her because even though I was mad at myself, I was mad as hell at her also. She knew that I was engaged, but she came onto me and ultimately got me to sleep with her. I know that I could’ve easily kept my junk in my pants, but the woman was quite enticing. When I saw her as I was about to go on my lunchbreak, I froze.
“Hey,” Elizabeth said looking me dead in the eyes. I looked over her head at the clock, it was 12:36.
“Hello” I said as normal as I possibly could. I was flustered but I didn’t want her to know that. I tried to walk passed her but her slender hand reached out and grabbed my arm.
“Michael” she sighed “Let’s talk about what happened”. I released the breath that I didn’t know I was holding and looked back at her.
“There’s nothing to talk about. We fucked, I was drunk and it won’t happen again.” I said as quietly as possible. Her soft features contorted with pain and I almost felt bad for saying that to her. “Almost” being the key word. Her eyes began watering and I thought she was about to start crying, but the tears refused to fall.
“I deserved that” she said fixing her posture “But please, I want to speak with you and apologize appropriately.” She shuffled back and forth on her feet and this time I sighed.
“I told Julia what happened between us and she dumped me. People mess up every day and it sucks that I had to mess up with you. Like I said it won’t happen again. There’s nothing for us to talk about.” I saw something flash in her eyes when I mentioned that Julia had dumped me, but I was too stressed out to read too much into it. Without waiting for her reply, I turned on my heels and walked away.
Everywhere I went to grab some food was crowded and I mentally cursed myself. I hadn’t eaten an actual meal in a week and I was starving. The only thing that I ate was just random meat that I pulled out of the refrigerator which obviously wasn’t a proper meal. I felt like my stomach was eating itself. I needed to find someplace to eat fast! After walking for fifteen minutes, I finally came across a subway that was not as crowded as the other places. I didn’t really find subway filling, but it was better than nothing.
I ordered a foot long subway club with a turkey breast chopped salad. At least this time I’d be eating something a little better for my nutrition. I sat down in my seat at the back of the restaurant eating in silence as I watched young lovers walk in and out of the place.
“Subway never gives you enough food,” the teenage boy said as he held hands with what I assumed to be his girlfriend.
“But the food is good. I don’t want anything else. Come on please,” the boy sighed and said fine.
They were more than likely on lunch break from school. I watched them as they flirted with each other, unable to keep their hands off of each other. The boy appeared to really hate the place, but he put up with it because of his girlfriend. They remin
ded me so much of Julia and me at that age. I smiled as I realized we’d come a long way from that stage in our lives. The couple left as quickly as they came and I left soon after them.
I walked that long street back to the office with my hands in my pockets. I was trying to come up with conversational topics so that things wouldn’t get awkward after Julia and I spoke for a while at dinner. I shook my head in disbelief, I didn’t even know why I had to do that since Julia and I spent the last ten years together. I could hear Jacob saying, “I can’t believe you are going all out for a woman like this” I laughed to myself “I just want everything to be perfect” I was starting to feel too emotional, so I took my hands out of my pockets and hurried back to the office.
When I got home later that day, I ran quickly into my bedroom to pick some clothes out for tonight. I was starting to see why women spent so much time looking for something to wear when they went out. I thought a suit would be too formal, but jeans were out of the question. I decided to go with a simple black dress shirt with some khaki pants. I wanted to look good for Julia, but I didn’t want to seem like a complete stranger to her.
I showered and shaved. When I looked into the mirror, I noticed that I had a slight tan. My hazel eyes scanned all over my chiseled face and I looked more close to normal than I had been looking for the last several days. I toweled dried my hair and spiked it up a little. When I was completely dressed, it was 6’ o clock. It’ll take about thirty minutes to get to Julia’s mother’s house and around fifteen minutes to get to Shelley’s. I thought it’ll be best to maybe stop by a store and buy Julia flowers but I changed my mind, I didn’t want to appear too out of character.
I drove the freeway in utter silence and decided to turn on the radio. I just needed something to distract me from my thoughts and concerns. When my phone began ringing, I turned the radio off and answered it.
“What’s going on Jake? You know I’m about to go out with Julia” I said without saying hello.
“Yeah, yeah.” Jacob said, “I never asked, where you taking her?”
“Shelley’s.”
“Shelley’s? I thought you hated that place.”
“I do, but that’s where she’s wants to go so that’s where I’m taking her.” I heard Jacob sigh before he shouted into the phone.
“Whipped!” I really didn’t want Jacob to kill my mood.
“I’d rather be whipped instead of at home alone jerking off” Before Jacob had time to come up with a comeback, I hung up the phone. “That’ll teach him” I said laughing.
When I finally arrived in front of the house, I took in a deep breath and exited my car. Whipped or not I had to make a good impression. When I knocked on the door and Julia opened it, I was at a loss for words.
She was gorgeous wearing a lime green short dress with black high heel shoes. Her hair and her make-up was done expertly. Her brown eyes scanned over my body in the same manner that mine did hers. She poked out her lip in a way that made me think that she was pouting. “You look good” she muttered under her breath and a wide smile spread across my face.
“Thanks, you’re always gorgeous so it’s not surprising that you look good too.” She told her mother that she’d be back later and closed and locked the door. We walked awkwardly back to my car and I held the door open for her. She said nothing as her slim body slid into the seat and I shut her door once she was all the way inside of the car. I walked around to my side with a goofy grin on my face like I had just hit the lottery or something.
“We’re going to Shelley’s right?” she asked once I began driving.
“Yeah, that’s where you want to go right?” I asked glancing at her from the corner of my eye. She nodded and sat back into her seat looking oddly out of the window at the passing cars. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if I should start with small talk now or wait till when we were at the restaurant. The awkward silence was killing me and I wanted to make sure she was having a good time. I decided to break the silence, “So how have you been?”
“Fine” she said too quickly not even looking my way. Ouch! The coldness from her voice stung me a little bit, but I continued on.
“Well, I’m glad one of us is fine.” Julia turned and looked at the side of my face and sighed.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” she paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve been miserable as hell, but don’t think that it means anything. I’m still pissed off” her high pitch voice cracked when she said that. She almost sounded like she was going to cry. I felt good that she was affected as much as I was about our breakup.
“I’m miserable too, but at least we get to see each other now.” I looked at her and flashed Julia a quick smile just as I pulled into the parking lot of Shelley’s. When we entered the restaurant, we noticed that it was packed, I was glad that I made reservations that morning.
“Do you two have a reservation? We’re pretty crowded at the moment and will not be able to seat people for another two hours.”
I honestly didn’t know why this restaurant was so popular; I found the place to be quite nauseating.
“Yes, my name is Michael Christianson.” The host looked through his list of names and smiled at me.
“Please follow me.” He grabbed two menus and led us to the back of the restaurant which was a little more secluded.
“I’m impressed,” Julia said once we were seated and the host was out of ear shot. “I’m surprised that you made a reservation. You normally made me do things like that.” I looked through the menu, unimpressed but still attempting to find something remotely interesting to eat.
“Well, I did it for you. I’m sitting in a restaurant that I hate for you.” I said and Julia blushed as she looked away from me. The restaurant got a bit noisier as a group of women made their way towards our direction.
“Dorian just irritates me so much sometimes” one of the women said and I looked their way because the voice sounded familiar. The host was sitting four women, two I recognized as being women from work. One of them being Elizabeth! My face turned pale as a ghost when her eyes landed on mine.
Chapter Three
“Are you alright?” Julia asked when she heard me gasp.
“I’m okay,” I managed to bite out. The waiter came back then and asked us if we’d ever been there before and what would we like to drink. I asked Julia as nicely as possible to order whatever she wanted and I excused myself to go to the men’s room.
I was thankful that no one was in it. “What the hell is she doing there?” if I had any more reason to hate Shelley’s, I had one then. I was glad that Julia had absolutely no idea who Elizabeth was, but I knew that Elizabeth would understand right away that the person that I was with was Julia.
I turned the faucet on and quickly splashed water into my face. I had to calm myself down; it wasn’t as if I was doing anything wrong. I just didn’t want Julia and Elizabeth to be in the same place at the same time. I finally was able to compose myself and I went back to Julia. She looked at me in confusion.
“Are you feeling okay, Michael? Do you really hate being here that much?” I shook my head. Of course I couldn’t tell Julia the real reason why I was disheveled, but I came up with a response that was close enough to the truth.
“No, I thought I saw something gross which freaked me out.” I quickly changed the subject. “So what did you order?” Julia gave me a sheepish smile.
“I ordered Macon Blanc. I hear it’s a pretty good wine.” I knew that the wine varied in prices and I inhaled sharply. ‘I’m doing this for her so swallow your pride’ I thought to myself. “And I know how much you hate trying something new so I ordered something that had chicken inside of it. You really need to try different things.”
“I’m working on that every day.” That wasn’t a complete lie; I was working on things about myself that would entice Julia to come back to me. I looked around trying to see if Elizabeth was near us, but I couldn’t find her. Maybe they weren’t seated as close as I t
hought they were.
“Do forgive me if I am not as adventurous as you.” I said sarcastically and Julia smiled a sincere smile. She was quite adventurous with her appearance. She had long hair one day and would cut it short the next day. Julia was an artist and she looked at her body as a canvass presented to her from God to create new and beautiful things with.
“I can tell,” she said as a frown plastered onto her beautiful face. “I hate to admit it but I really do miss you.” I could see now that she was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her. She chewed on her glossed lips and breaking one of her rules I reached my hand out to her. She hesitated to take it, but her small hand enclosed into my larger one.
“I know that I hurt you and that you don’t trust me,” I said clearing my throat. “But I need you to understand that if I didn’t truly love you, I wouldn’t have told you what I did.” I knew that didn’t make the situation better, it wasn’t like she caught me with Elizabeth but I told her and that had to count for something. “We can take it slow and start over new,” Julia stared into my eyes with an unreadable expression on her face so I continued.