by Jane Price
I knew which one he was talking about. The night of prom when I found him with his pants around his ankles with another girl. That seemed like so long ago, but being betrayed seems to cling to a person. As the silence threatened to take over, Colt changed the subject.
“So you never said why you came back.”
“I didn’t.” He raised an eyebrow like he used to when we were kids and he knew I was bullshitting him. I sighed and gave in. “I guess I only proved that I could be tough in a place like this. When I tried to make it on my own I realized I wasn’t quite as tough as I thought.” Man, it hurt to say that out loud. Those crystal blue eyes looked kind and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I guess if anyone knew how hard it would be for me to admit that it would be Colt.
“At least you tried. Most people aren’t brave enough to leave their safe life behind. At least you won’t have that regret.” He said with a shrug.
I gaped at him. “What the hell are you talking about? I could have used a little of that support when I told you I was leaving in the first place.”
“I was supportive.” He said innocently, but his goofy smile gave him away.
“Liar! You were so mad. So mad that you cheated on me with Tracey Collins. On prom night.”
He cringed. “I didn’t cheat on you. Technically we were broken up.”
“For 3 hours! That hardly even counts.”
“Like it didn’t count that you were dating Bobby Cliffton when we first slept together?”
“Dating is a strong word. I would say we were more like close friends.”
“I seem to remember he felt differently, as demonstrated by him professing his undying love for you in the middle of the lunch room.”
Despite myself, I laughed. Actually laughed, and it felt like it had been a long time since I had something to laugh about. We both laughed until we started earning looks from the couple down the bar.
Wiping at my eyes I said, “Well, I guess we’re both terrible people. Poor Bobby, I haven’t thought of him in years. I wonder where he is now.”
“Don’t feel too sorry for him. I heard he made a fortune selling stocks or something. He’s living the high life in New York and probably doesn’t lose too much sleep over you anymore.”
“Well at least one of us made something of themselves.” I said, and just like that the humor sapped from my body, leaving me drained. The booze, the past, the bleak future, they all teamed up until I couldn’t stand being here anymore. Those kind eyes were on me again, but they did little to comfort me this time. I needed to leave and lick my wounds in private, away from all these reminders. I slid from my stool, but my legs betrayed me and I gripped onto the bar. I glared at the empty highball glass in front of me.
In an instant Colt’s arm slipped around my waist, steadying me. I hated needing help. I shoved my elbow into his ribs and smiled, satisfied, when he groaned and shrank away from me. Even with all those tanned muscles covering his arms Colt was still soft in the middle. I guess it was good that hadn’t changed. Swaggering from my small victory I did my best to strut away from the counter and Colt and all the other reminders I wasn’t ready for.
My success was short lived and, like everything else in my life right now, it came crashing down around me. Literally, as my feet faltered and I careened into a table and sent us both crashing to the floor. Sitting on the sticky floor amongst the splintered table just seemed a little too much to handle. The universe wasn’t satisfied with merely crushing my dreams, it had to shove me all the way down. I buried my head in folded arms, defeated.
From above me I could feel Colt moving around just before strong arms hoisted me from the floor. Standing me on my feet, he wrapped a sturdy grip around me. And I let him. I hated that I didn’t try to push away from him. I hated that I let my weight sink back into him while he led me away from the bar and down the hall that led to the bathrooms and back exit.
I was expecting him to lead me out the door and into the back parking lot, so I was surprised when he turned us into one of the bathrooms. I wasn’t too crazy about that, either, but Colt was as stubborn as they came and I was beyond arguing. Without loosening his grip on me, Colt kicked the door shut behind us and turned the light on with his elbow.
Colt sat me on the counter. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
The shrug I gave him as an answer didn’t seem to cut it. Colt slammed his hands down on either side of me, body leaning into mine. His face was a mixture of anger and something else. Disappointment, maybe? Colt rarely took anything seriously enough to get mad about it, so I couldn’t imagine why he was so angry about an ex getting too drunk at the bar.
The burn of his stare made me shift. I forgot how intense his stare could be. Countless times he’d fixed me with those eyes, more powerful than a truth serum. It used to make my heart race and heat build low in my belly. Add that to the list of things that hadn’t changed.
I couldn’t take his eyes on me anymore and I turned my head away from him, “The real world just handed me a beating. I’m humiliated and a failure. How am I supposed to act?”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. The Calleigh I knew was a lot tougher than that. And you sure as hell wouldn’t act like your life was over just because something didn’t work out.”
“Well maybe you didn’t know me all that well.” I bit out, turning back sharply to face him, ignoring the spin of the room before it caught back up with me. His face was only inches from mine and I could feel his warm breath on me. I held his stare this time, a silent challenge. Slow seconds ticked past until finally his expression softened.
“You’re stronger than that, Calleigh. I know you are because I used to know you better than anyone.”
I shook my head and looked away. Maybe he did, but that was a long time ago. I wasn’t in the mood to rehash old wounds with Colt right now.
His hands moved from beside me, gliding along my thighs, “Maybe I still do.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, surprised by his hands on me and overwhelmed by the powerful surge through my body. I hated that he could still do that to me, and through the fog I was fighting to keep at bay I tried to make sense of it.
“I’m not the same person I used to be” My voice was barely a whisper as I stole a glance up at him. His hands inched further up my thighs until his thumbs met at the apex. The ache that was building ignited and I clenched down to intensify the swell of sensations as his thumb hovered over the trembling bundle of nerves.
“I’m not so sure about that.” He said while he began drawing a lazy circle over my clit, liquid heat pooling against my will. I writhed under his hands, not yet sure if this was his idea of a joke and frustrated that the pressure was not quite enough to satisfy the ache that was building. A smile unfurled on Colt’s lips and he nuzzled his face close to mine, his stubble rough on my cheek. Against my ear Colt murmured, “Let’s prove just how well I know you. If I remember correctly, you would still like it if I kissed you here.” Warm lips pressed to the sensitive skin under my ear, followed by the sting of a nip. I clenched my fists and repressed a sigh, not wanting him to be right.
Undeterred, Colt nibbled his way down my jaw, pausing where my pulse thrummed fast at my neck, giving me away. I felt him smile against my skin as he moved further down, peppering my skin with soft brushes of his lips. From my leg, his other hand travelled up until they met at the low v of my shirt. His finger lightly traced the skin he found there.
“If my memory serves me you were pretty fond of this too.” He said, hooking a finger in the collar of my shirt, drawing it down and shoving it aside to reveal my lace covered breasts. I knew what came next. It was one of my favorite things because it was one of Colt’s favorite things. I watched as he swiped his thumb across the sensitized skin, my nipple pulling tight in response, before slowly pulling down the fabric of my bra, exposing my breasts to his greedy eyes. Seeing him admire me with that hunger turned me on way more than the act itself
.
Colt thumbed my erect nipple gently before taking my breast in his palm and raising it up to his waiting mouth. Desire shot straight through to my aching sex as his tongue began making a swath around my nipple. The constant rub of his thumb on my clit began to speed up and I knew this was turning him on. One more thing that I was happy hadn’t changed. Between Colt’s lips and the increased pressure on my needy clit I couldn’t sit still any longer so I closed my eyes and let my hips rock in time with his motion.
My relief was short lived when Colt stopped his torment and straightened. He gripped my hips in his hands and pulled me close to the edge of the counter. As he slipped the button of my pants free, I raised my hips to allow him to pull them down my legs. The cool bathroom air was a contrast from the warm wet of my panties, but that was quickly remedied by Colt’s rough hands on the inside of my thighs and the renewed dampness between my legs. I should feel ashamed that I craved what he was going to do next, but I just felt relief.
Perched on the edge of the counter, he spread my legs wide and leaned between them. The first stroke of his finger was gentle, a soft brush against swollen flesh, and this time I couldn’t help but let a low moan slip past my lips.
“I guess we know you still like that.” He said, pressing his finger past my folds, beginning a steady pace. His thumb pressed against my clit with every inward stroke and I buried my face in his neck, the dank smell of the barroom bathroom replaced by the scent of his skin. The want in my sex was kindled by the closeness of his body, the strong familiar hands, the connection to something intimate.
Hair stuck to my face, damp from my breath coming in heavy jags, when Colt pulled away from me. He kept his hands on my legs and moved lower, pausing at my chest. He tenderly licked each tight bud he found there, the heat of his mouth providing a foil to the chill in the room, before he crouched down between my wide spread legs. Colt kissed each thigh and I shivered against the touch.
The intimacy of the act, the sweet mixed with the sensual made me feel more exposed than being stripped half naked. I held my breath as Colt moved in closer and began to lick and kiss that sweet spot. His tongue traced my slit. Once, twice. My need growing with each pass. I delved my fingers into his dark hair, fisting it in frustration. I felt the vibration of his low chuckle against my skin before Colt’s tongue finally lapped and suckled my flesh.
Tremors radiated out from my sex, building with a powerful intensity. I reveled in the waves of pleasure, letting them wash over me. Letting them wash away some of the darkness I had let seep in. I shamelessly rocked my hips into him, a silent surrender to his challenge, until my body tensed against his ceaseless efforts and I found release.
My breath came in pants. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cool mirror. My head swam and I was sure it had more to do with Colt’s head resting on my thigh than it did with the liquor. I was feeling remarkably sober right about now, in part, I suppose by having someone touch me like they knew me when I didn’t even know myself anymore. After a moment Colt stood and fixed me with that intense stare that left me just as uncomfortable as before.
“You seem to remember quite a bit.” I said with a shy smile when the intensity threatened to become too much.
“Some things are hard to forget.”
Colt was still close to me, his eyes searching mine. My head was starting to feel too heavy to try and figure out what he was looking for. Finally pulling away, Colt turned on the tap and began cleaning up. When he was finished, I let him pull me from my spot on the counter, and with shaky hands I pulled my clothes back on.
“Come on, you lush, let’s get you home. How did you get here?”
“I drove.”
“Looks like I’ll be driving you back. We can get your car tomorrow.”
“No, I’ll be fine, you don’t have to take me home. I really didn’t have that much to drink.” I lied. I wasn’t able to drive, no matter how carefree I was pretending to be, but the thought of being stuck in close proximity to Colt for another excruciating 10 minutes seemed unbearable. The fact that he just went down on me in the bathroom after not talking to each other in years was beginning to sink in. Along with it came the shame, the euphoria. Things that my cloudy brain wasn’t able to process.
“Nope.” He said, ignoring my protest and leading me out of the bathroom and through to the back entrance. The thick night air stuck to me, churning my stomach, making me forget about the jagged concrete sidewalk outside the door. I stumbled into Colt and he grabbed my hand and pulled me along, cutting me a sideways glance.
“Would you believe me if I told you that wasn’t because I was drunk?”
“Nope. Now if you told me it was because you were dazed with pleasure, then maybe I would.”
I snorted. I was already regretting this.
*****
The clanging of pots jarred me awake. Remaining motionless I cracked open my eyes, surveying. I was in my bed. Not my comfy queen sized bed with the 800 thread count sheets, the lumpy twin bed that my cat had kittens on when I was 9. The sun had already gone past my window, making it close to noon. I was still dressed in last night’s clothes, and my head felt like someone was tap dancing on it. So this is what it feels like to be hung over at my age. Not a fan.
I winced as the sound of another pot clanged below me. A not-so-subtle hint from my mother. I sat up slowly and swung my legs over the edge of the bed and as I did I caught the smell of pine and sweat, the events of last night slowly unfolding in my drowsy mind. I wasn’t sure what parts were real and what was distorted by my liquor filter but I remembered the drinking, the song. I remembered Colt.
I didn’t want to know what he thought of me now. When I left after high school it was in a blaze of glory, happy to be leaving my small town life and small town rebounding boyfriend behind. Now I had returned with my tail between my legs and it looked as though Colt was making sure he got a front row seat to watch me suffer. Not only that, he was going to play dirty. I brushed away the memories of his hands, delicate on my skin. A cheap trick. If he thought I’m going to be duped he had another thing coming. I’m not a naive girl anymore. Unless I’m drinking, apparently, in which case I’m an idiot.
At least I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself anymore. Yep, feeling like a slut was much better.
I gathered my courage and stood up, ignoring the pain that shot from my left hip, most likely from my collision with the table last night. I didn’t have time to worry about that right now. I wasn’t going to give Colt Miller or anyone else the satisfaction of seeing me pine. Not anymore. Today I was going to do something with myself.
Peeling off last night’s reminder, I headed for the shower. The hot water stripped my skin of his touch and the feel of his lips that covered most of my body. I stood under the steady stream for far longer than I could have in my old apartment, reveling in all the hot water. By the time I got out I was beginning to feel like myself again.
Pairing my favorite camisole and jacket with my only pair of clean dress pants, I sat in front of my mirror, and began to carefully apply my makeup. I uncapped my eyeliner and made a plan for the day. Judging by the way my hand was shaking I would have to start with a very large cup of coffee, after which I would head over to the city to the employment office and start applying for any and every job I could. I would have to drive about 30 miles to get there, but I could use that time to figure out where I wanted to go from here. Plus a decent latte would do me some good.
I finished my makeup and started in on my hair, gathering it low in the back and twisting it into a soft bun. Giving myself a once over in the mirror I felt a hundred times better than when I woke up, minus the throbbing at my temples. I slipped on a pair of low heels and picked up my purse which had been discarded on the chair near the bed. Confirming that I had all the essentials- phone, credit card, gum- I paused. No keys.
Checking and again not seeing them in my purse I bent to search the floor. Once again coming up empty I stood and tried to retrac
e me steps. I remembered seeing my keys when I fished out some cash to pay at the bar, but now they’re gone. Somewhere in between there I lost my keys. The only place in between was Colt. The optimism I held for the day began to drain as realization took hold. I must have lost my keys in Colt’s truck. Shit.
I grabbed my phone and called the bar, just in case they had fallen out while I was there, but no one had seen them. My next call would have to be to Colt. The thought of seeing him again made me nervous. And angry. There was no way I could see him without a caffeine fix. I headed out of my room and down the stairs, hoping my mom had some muffins left over from her quilting meeting yesterday.
I rounded the corner into the kitchen and saw my mom pulling a pan of scones from the oven. She set them on the counter and bustled across the kitchen to tend to something on the stove, her apron fluttering around her, her voice narrating a quiet dialogue between her and the pot. The warm smells drifted to me and my stomach rumbled its approval. Judging by all the food covering the counters I could only assume she was having company.
As she cooked I poured a cup of coffee and sat at the island. Cookies were cooling on a tray and I reached for one, mouth-watering in anticipation, when she finally turned and jumped in surprise.