by Lauren Wood
I put my hand up like it was supposed to stop him and I tried to figure out what I was going to say. I can’t think when he is looking at me like that and I needed to be able to think. It was one of those moments when it was rather necessary.
“I had my drink, now I’m going to bed Chris. Let’s get a good night sleep so that we can tackle the work we have tomorrow.”
“I don’t need much sleep Molly.”
“Well I do and if you get close to me, I’m not going to get any.”
“So you admit that there is something between us?”
He sounded like he was happy about it. That was the last emotion that I was and I was more confused than anything else. I wanted him here and with me, but at the same time I wish he hadn’t come back to mess with my head. The fact that all of this was because of some money, a sell out and an inheritance just made it all the more complicated. I needed to get away from Chris before he made it ten times as bad.
Chris didn’t come any closer and of that I was thankful. He had a way of pinning me with his eyes, but I relented and went up the stairs. I should have run, but I wanted to have some dignity left. All that changed when I had to take a bath later to get the raw feeling of need out of my body. He made me crazy, it was that simple.
I got upstairs and I was able to breathe a little bit. He wasn’t following me up and I was able to have a few moments to myself. I went to take a shower, thinking that it would help me clear my mind, but instead it only made things worse.
The hot water felt like good as it fell on my erect nipples and it wasn’t long before I was just as needy as when I started out this day. My mind went to his fingers and hands touching me, his lips on mine and it didn’t take much to push me to touch myself. With my eyes closed, it felt like it was Chris, though my fingers weren’t as talented as his were. He had a way of making me feel like I was going to explode and turn into an inferno at any moment. It wasn’t that good, but I came just the same and started to feel a little better after my temperature went back down.
I left the bathroom feeling a little guilty and the more I thought about what I was made to do, the more nervous I got about it all. What the hell had I been thinking bringing him to my house? I should have known better. At the time, it made all of the sense in the world, but now I wasn’t sure what in the world I was going to do. Maybe by the end of the week I would be happy that he was gone. I would have failed his parents, but I can only do so much. I can only take so much rather.
Chapter 13
Chris
I went upstairs not long after Molly went up. I was hoping that I would catch her in the hallway and convince her that we had a lot of catching up to do and it was the only thing that made sense, but she was in the shower when I got up there.
While I was passing, I heard a soft moan that I’d heard before and I stopped to listen to her for a moment. It wasn’t hard to figure out what it was that she was doing in there and so help me I wanted to burst in there and finish what I’d started. I would feel much better than her own hands.
But I was a guest and Molly may not look different, but she wasn’t as quick to fall into my arms. The restaurant proved that her body was still mine, whether she liked it or not, but it was her heart and mind that I had to convince, not my own. I knew what I wanted and was willing to take as long or as little of a time as I had.
I tried to lie down, telling myself that I was doing what she asked of me. She made it clear that she didn’t want to start up with me again, even though she was so turned on she had to take care of it herself moments later. This was what bothered me so much and the sounds of her pleasure that were trapped in my ears.
It was impossible to sleep. I mean fricking impossible. I had too many thoughts and images running through my mind. It was too much for me to lie down and try to make it go away. It wasn’t going away. Molly wasn’t going away and this room and bed even smelled like her. Everything about this place was oozing Molly and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I was filled with far too much energy, so I went downstairs to where she’d told me that she wanted me to do the trim and I got started. I wasn’t able to cut much because she was still sleeping, but I got a game plan figured out and started doing all of the measurements. I was on my fourth cup of coffee when she came downstairs and I was left in a trance as she descended the stairs slowly. There was just something about her and the smile she gave me won me over and made me forget why I was down here in the first place.
“Good morning.”
“Morning Molly. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
“No, it’s usually what time I get up. I like to get up before the sun so I can watch the sunrise.”
I nodded at her and watched her move passed me and into the kitchen. She had a way about her that never went away. She was like magnetic and I was the metal that was stuck drawn to her no matter where and what I was doing.
“I made some coffee a little while ago, so it’s still pretty fresh.”
“How long have you been up?”
I didn’t want to tell her the truth, so I left it open and just said that I had been up a while. She didn’t need to know that it was all because of her that I couldn’t sleep. I had gotten some progress done and would be able to get a lot more done now that I didn’t have to be quiet.
“I see that you are already back to work. I’m surprised you remember how to do this stuff after having been in the city for so long. I’m sure that you have maids that do all of the work for you now.”
She was just trying to mess with me now and if I was honest, she was. I hadn’t become some soft-handed man while I was away. I just had to work out in a gym now instead of outside in the crisp air. The look was the same, but I have to say that getting it done this way was more enjoyable.
“I am capable of everything I was before. I don’t think I ever heard a complaint from you.”
“That’s true, you didn’t. You always took good care of me.”
“I’m trying to take care of you again.”
She went right to what I was thinking about and she got that beautiful pink blush to her face. She did remember, as much as I did. It made the night before a little easier, but there was still part of me that wasn’t happy with the speed at which Molly was working to make it change. I wanted her now. I didn’t want to wait for her to want the same.
Molly looked damn good this morning. I miss waking up to her hair slightly wild and the smile on her lips that she had now. It was lopsided, but so much what I was used to. Her body was not covered very well with her shorts and a small camisole that had a low cut in the front. She was trying to entice me. I was sure of it.
“Do you want me to make some breakfast or do you want to just get started?”
“Breakfast would be nice.”
“Anything in particular?”
She was talking about food, but when I nodded my head that I did have something in mind, I had to scramble for something to say bcause what I wanted I couldn’t say out loud.
“What I want isn’t on the menu.”
That look was back to her eyes and I knew we were on the same page again. It didn’t mean that it was going to help my cause any.
“Do you ever think of anything else?”
She was being serious and when I told her there was nothing else that I could think about right now. Fuck, this woman had my head all messed up. “You haven’t lost your touch Molly.”
“It’s just an omelet Chris, not too fancy.”
“Yes, but everything you do is done well. I remember you could make a ham sandwich taste amazing.”
“It was the spiced mayo.”
“I don’t know what it is that you do, but it’s always been better than I thought it would be.”
“Don’t they have good food in the city?”
“Yes, but nothing is the same. I miss Alaska sometimes.”
“Ready to change your mind and stay?”
She was relentless and it made me feel bad.
I did want to stay, just like I had before. I could stay in bed with Molly for the rest of my life. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. She wanted more, as did I. “It’s going to take more than some reminiscing to get me to stay Molly.”
“So what would it take for you to not sell the land and for you to stay in Nome where you belong?”
“I don’t know that there is anything that would make me stay. I almost stayed for you. I wanted you to come with me.”
“This is my home.”
I sighed loudly and nodded my head like I understood. I’d heard this before.
“That’s what you said before.”
“And that wasn’t enough to keep you.”
She had the same look of pain as before. She always took it so personally, but it wasn’t supposed to be that way. I’d left to fulfill family obligations and to see what was out in the world. Nome was a place to come back to for holidays, but it wasn’t a place that I could stay. There wasn’t enough to keep me there.
“I don’t want to argue Chris.”
“We aren’t arguing Molly. This is a fight that we’ve already had.”
“I know. I just wish it had all ended up differently. Haven’t you ever thought about what would have happened if you wouldn’t have left?”
“I do, but have you thought about what would have happened if I would have stayed?”
Chapter 14
Molly
I shrugged. I’d thought about it a lot of times, but there was still part of me that did. Chris didn’t need to know that though. He didn’t need to know that I still yearned for him in more than one way. I wanted him so badly that it actually hurt and seeing him this morning cemented the fact that I was wrong to bring him here. I wanted to help, but at the end of the day he was still going to leave and then I was going to have to go on without him again.
“I have.”“I’ve thought about it many times. I almost came back several times, but something would come up and remind me why I was in the city. I had to give up love for work and money.”
“You already had money. So was it worth it to leave?”
I wanted him to say that it wasn’t and that he had been so wrong. This is what I badly wanted him to say, but he didn’t. He wasn’t worried about me when he was gone. He had forgotten about Nome and everyone in it, including me.
“I don’t know Molly. I try not to look back too much. It doesn’t help anything.”
“No, I guess you are right. I’m going to get started on some of the cutting while you finish up.”
I walked out of the kitchen and back to where Chris had everything out for the trim. I needed to get my mind off of what we were talking about. I had to forget about us or I wasn’t going to be able to make it through the week. I’d already thought about just signing the land over to him because it was hopeless, but then again, I didn’t want the land sold to some commercial place that was going to fill Nome with a bunch of tourists that we didn’t need. I was torn between the two and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to stop it. I had to try though, right?
Chris came in and we talked a little bit after a long stretch of silence. I wanted to say so many things to him, but because of how everything was going, I was sure there wasn’t a point. But I couldn’t help it.
“I really wish you would stay Chris.”
“What would I do here Molly?”
I shrugged. “What everyone else does here, live.”
It didn’t sound like much and he gave me a look like he didn’t understand why that was enough. It was for me and many others here. We weren’t worried about changing the world or making tons of money. We were worried about family, love and having a good time. It was clear that his priorities did not include any of that.
Chris moved towards me. We’d been at it for hours and we had kept our distance. I had done it to keep myself safe, but with his hands on my shoulders, it was hard to forget that he was touching me. I wanted him to touch me, no matter how badly it affected my head. It messed with it. He messed with my emotions and my mental wellbeing. It wasn’t something that I could stop.
“I don’t want to talk about this the whole time I’m here. I am not going to be here long.”
“I know. You’re right.”
I sat down and tried not to let his words bother me. At least he was being honest with me. I appreciated it, even if the words hurt me so much.
My eyes were getting blurry from being upset and I hid my face so that he wouldn’t see it. My back was turned to him and I felt his hands on my shoulder again.
“Let me make this better for a little while Molly. I don’t know how to make this right, but I can make it right for right now. Let me at least do that.”
His words were hard to ignore and I knew that I didn’t want to tell him no. I stood up and gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. Chris held me above the waist with his hands clasped behind me and I was pulled in against his hard body. I had felt him before, but this was the closest that we had gotten body on body since he had been back. I forgot how he felt, how big he was compared to me. He was huge and so damn solid. Every part of him made me feel shrunk down, but I had always liked it. I always felt so safe in his arms and now was no exception. Chris had changed my life completely again and this time it was for the better. Whatever way this worked out, I would never need to worry about money again.
When I pulled back and looked up at him, he moved down to kiss me and I didn’t want to stop it. I never wanted him to stop and when his lips met mine again, I melted a little bit more. I could feel my legs and knees getting weak and I tried to play it off like I wasn’t desperate for him, but I was, I really was.
My mouth was hungry and I made him move down to my level and then he was lifting me up into his arms. He picked me up like I was nothing and I wrapped my arms around his neck so that I didn’t feel like I was going to fall. I knew that I wasn’t, that he wasn’t going to let me, but it was hard to fight the urge.
He moved his mouth off of mine and went in for my neck. It was sensitive and he knew that it was a delicate spot for me. It was also the spot that turned me on the most.
I shivered and dampened from the initial touch of his teeth on my neck. I loved the way it felt as they grazed across my sensitive skin. It was hard for me to make no sound and there was no reason this time that I had to hold it in.
“I miss those sounds. I’ve wanted to hear them so badly.”
His words made me realize what we were doing. It was so easy to get wrapped up in Chris that I forget for a few seconds that he will break my heart again. I pushed against him.
“What? Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I don’t. You are as talented as ever, but I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t remember you being this hot and cold.”
“I’m not usually that way. I’ve been trying my best to stay away from you because I know what happens.”
“Why is that such a bad thing? You need it.”
While it was true, I didn’t want to admit that he was right. I did need it, so damn bad. I knew how good it would feel and ever since seeing him again and Chris moving in, my body has been on high alert. I didn’t like being this way, but he was the only one with the key.
“I do, but it has consequences. It’s just not enough. I’m sorry if that is why you came here. I didn’t see any of this coming and I have no plan. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t Chris and with Lila what happens matters more than ever.”
“I don’t see how I can prove it to you.”
I didn’t know either and I shrugged. He growled at me. “I can’t wait anymore Molly.”
He moved back to kiss me and before I could think to stop him, I was lost in his kiss. His tongue was taking over my mouth, pushing in between my lips. His hands held me against him fast and there was not an inch of my skin that wasn’t touching him.
“Tell me that you really don’t want this and I will stop pursuing you.”
The
sound of his deep voice and the slight breeze of a whisper on my earlobe was more than I could stand. There was no way that I could tell him that with a straight face, even if I could find the voice for it. I was too far gone now.
“I can’t.”
His kiss deepened and I felt him moving me until the side of the house was on my back. His hands were making quick work of the button on my pants and he was pulling them down enough to get his hand down to the heat and wetness that I knew was there. I was so damn turned on and for once I didn’t want to refuse what I desperately needed. Even if it was only for tonight or a week, it had to be worth it.
His fingers rubbed on my clit and made me jump with each pass. I tried to squeeze my thighs together as the feeling got more intense, but he held them open roughly. His mouth was back on my neck and I swear I was going to faint. My legs weren’t going to be able to keep me up much longer.
Chris seemed to notice and after I cried out with pleasure, he started to lift me up and I stopped him.
“Dammit Molly, I really can’t stop this time. I’m going to explode.”
“No, I mean can we go inside?”
Relief melted my reserve. I didn’t know what tomorrow was going to bring, but tonight I wanted to be in Chris’ arms, just one more time.
Chapter 15
Chris
Her answer was all I needed to hear to calm down. I couldn’t wait for her anymore and if she had tried to stop me, I can’t say what I would have done. It was the last thing that I wanted to do and now it was time. She had lasted longer than I’d thought she would, which was not exactly a good thing. I was over the wait and I was over not having her in my arms. I needed her there like I needed my next breath. I had to have her and as I led her into her house, I knew that this was the moment that I’d been waiting for since coming here. Ever since I heard the will reading and heard Molly’s name, it was this moment that I was waiting for. I had to have her and I was practically trembling with the idea of her in my arms again. Finally.