Seeking Shelter

by Angel Smits

  She knew his eyes were blue, and while the shadows made them look dark, they were very much alive and intense. She couldn’t glance away.

  She felt his palm graze her cheek and his fingers brush softly against her temple. His fingertips were rough, worn from the work he’d done on her kitchen. “Jace?” she whispered, leaning back against his supporting arm so she could see him more clearly.

  “Amy, what have you done to me?” He combed his fingers through her hair, then leaned in. His lips fit hers perfectly, warm, soft...yet wonderfully firm.

  Her eyes drifted closed, shutting out everything but Jace.

  * * *

  JACE COULD SPEND the night right here. With her. Amy, on the other hand, wasn’t used to sleeping outside on the ground. Pulling away from her was the hardest thing he’d done in a hell of a long time.

  “Come on.” He struggled to his feet and reached a hand down to help her up. “We should go before we run out of light.”

  Climbing up was much easier than going down. They made quick work of the walk to the lodge, and Jace stopped at her room, fully intending to go next door and watch TV, or something.

  When Amy turned to him and slid her arms around his neck, he froze.

  Despite the need that slammed through him, he held back, taking several deep breaths as he pulled away slightly. He could see her now, in the glow of moonlight filtering through the trees, and he waited an instant for her to look at him. When she did, the desire he saw in her eyes nearly did him in.

  “I want you,” he whispered. “But I don’t want to hurt you or scare you.”

  He wanted to make this special, and not just because she was Mac’s daughter, though that was part of it. The urge to protect her was nearly as strong as his desire.

  A frown flitted across Amy’s face, and he knew she misunderstood him.

  “I’m fine.” She smiled back at him and slowly ran a finger along his jaw. “Actually, better than fine.” She tried to draw him back to her, but he resisted.

  “Yes, you are.” He kissed her temple. Words failed him. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been with women before, but never had his emotions been so involved.

  “Stop thinking. Just kiss me.” Amy leaned against him. She burrowed her fingers in his hair and pulled him down to her.

  Jace knew he’d lost whatever battle he might have been waging. She tasted so good. And her warm skin felt amazing under his hands.

  The door seemed to magically open and they moved inside. Pale white moonlight spilled in through the sheers, splashing across the double bed, which seemed miles away. Until the door closed. Then it seemed to fill the room.

  Slowly, torturously slowly, Jace released the top button of her shirt. And then the next. The gentle swell of her breasts beckoned, and he cursed the fabric that barred him from seeing all of her.

  He finished the remaining buttons more quickly, and said a tiny prayer of thanks when he found a front clasp on her bra. Soon it was open and her pale pink nipple warmed his tongue.

  Amy’s hands drifted down his back and she tugged at his T-shirt, loosening it so she could slide her hands beneath. Her touch was heaven, and distracting, especially when she reached the waistband of his jeans and came slowly around to the front.

  He didn’t know how they got there, but he was lying on the bed with her. He stretched out alongside her, where he could touch her and her hands could reach him. The rasp of his zipper seemed loud and the brush of air against his lower belly made him gasp with pleasure.

  He buried the sound in her lips as he claimed her more fully.

  She tugged at his T-shirt, bunching it up until he paused and jerked it off over his head.

  He didn’t give her time to think or move before he was back. The feel of her bare skin against his was sweet and hot.

  Without his shirt, she found every inch of his shoulders and chest, greedily stroking and kissing. When her hands moved lower again, Jace resisted the urge to tug off his jeans, as well. Soon, even his deep calming breaths weren’t slowing things down. He didn’t want to slow down. But he knew he had to. He scooted lower, taking control away from that amazing mouth of hers.

  With his head against her chest, Jace could feel her pounding heart. He kissed the valley between her breasts before he moved away.

  Convinced that he’d lost his mind and what was left of his control, Jace shucked off his jeans and dug for his wallet.

  Amy had slipped off her shirt and bra and was working on the button of her jeans when he turned back to her.

  He grasped her wrist and stopped her. When she looked up, he held her gaze. And didn’t dare look lower or he’d be gone. He uncurled her fingers and opened her hand. Carefully, he passed her the foil packet, then closed her fist around it.

  “God, I want you.” His voice was raw. “But you’re in charge. I won’t do anything you don’t want.” He took a breath and made sure she met his eyes. “Ever.”

  “I’m...not...”

  “Scared? Yes, you are,” he whispered, dragging his lips along the line of her jaw to the tender hollow beneath her ear. “You should be. But I’m careful. Very careful.”

  * * *

  THE SQUARE PACKET in her palm burned Amy’s skin. She closed her eyes to keep her telltale tears hidden. He wouldn’t understand. He’d think he’d hurt her somehow, and would pull away. That was the last thing she wanted right now.

  Everyone back home took care of her, the way they thought was right. No one took the time to listen to what she really wanted. To them, she was Madeline’s daughter. The orphan. Katie’s mom. Storekeeper.

  For the first time, someone saw Amy the woman. She didn’t want this moment to ever end.

  “You’re in control, babe,” he whispered. “It’s your choice.”

  The traitorous tears slid from between her closed lids into her hairline.

  “Ah, I’m sorry.” Jace tried to pull away, but she wrapped her arm tighter around his neck. Slowly, she uncurled her fingers.

  “No...don’t go.” She swallowed hard and opened her eyes. She had to explain to him. Somehow. “I want this.” She breathed in deeply, slowly. “No one else listens to me. I want you.”

  And then Amy did the one thing she was sure he didn’t expect: pressed her lips to his, hot and demanding.

  Jace didn’t have to be asked twice. He pulled her close, moving above her, cocooning her body in his arms.

  She knew Hank and Caryn suspected that Katie was Matt’s child, but the details of that night were locked away in Amy’s memory. Where she had every intention of leaving them buried.

  But despite her intentions, they weren’t staying locked up.

  She trembled. The air turned to mush and wouldn’t fill her lungs. Fear, bitter and painful, erupted in her chest like a strobe light. A scream caught in her throat.

  Jace seemed to sense the change in her. He pulled away, putting several feet between them.

  Amy sprang off the bed, her foot connecting with something soft. His shirt. With jerky movements she picked it up and pulled it on to cover herself. His scent nearly overwhelmed her.

  Jace leaned against the headboard, watching her carefully. She paced across the room, the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. She couldn’t seem to keep from wringing her hands.

  Was she incapable of a normal relationship? Had Matt stolen that, too? Something inside her shifted, and rather than the hurt and fear she usually felt, this time anger welled up inside her. If she’d had something to pound, she would have.

  Jace swung his legs off the end of the bed and stood. “I’m sorry I scared you.” Regret shone in his eyes.

  “Oh, no. Jace. It’s...”

  “Not me, it’s you?” He laughed without humor. “Pretty stale line, there.” He grabbed his jeans from where he’d flung the
m and jerked them, back on.

  “Don’t,” she said before he’d finished. She didn’t remember reaching out, but her hand was against his warm chest. Neither of them pushed or pulled, but she knew this was a tug-of-war. Her fears. His confusion.

  “I was dating M-Matt, Katie’s father.” She fought the quaver in her voice and the urge to look away. Jace deserved her honesty even if it killed her. “I brought him home to meet Hank and everyone.” She couldn’t move. Couldn’t look Jace in the eye. She stared at his chest where she wanted desperately to bury her face and hide. “I wanted to show him my home, my world. He...” Her breath came out in short, painful puffs. “He forced me—” She couldn’t say it.

  “He raped you?” Jace spit the words.

  Amy could only nod. Under her palm, the muscles in Jace’s chest tightened. His hands curled into fists and she backed away.

  She knew he’d never hurt her. His anger didn’t scare her as much as her reaction to it did. She liked it. Too much. It was as if he really cared.

  Amy steeled herself to see censure when she looked up at him. But she didn’t see the condemnation or accusation she expected. Just the sheen of moisture in his eyes, and a frown of shock. He swallowed, but didn’t say anything or move away.

  She took a step forward. “I’m scared, Jace.” Another step. “I don’t want to be scared anymore.” She opened her other hand, revealing the crumpled foil packet. “Can we...”

  Jace took a single step. Only inches separated them now. “Make love?” he offered. When she nodded, he put his hand over hers and led her back to the bed.

  Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He didn’t touch her anywhere else, just kissed her and held her hand.

  Her heart twisted, not with fear, but in awe of his acceptance of all she was and had been through. She leaned forward and felt his arms gently wrap around her.

  * * *

  JACE GROANED INWARDLY. She was killing him. Literally killing him. What the hell was he supposed to do? He wanted her, wanted to be the guy she saw, the worthy man. But he’d never lived up to anyone’s expectations. What made him think he’d do better in this relationship?

  Amy chose that moment to look up at him. In the moonlight, her features were shadowed and beautiful. He wouldn’t be walking away anytime soon. He had to give it a shot. Instead of running, he reached out and took what she offered. First her hand...then her lips. Slowly, almost tentatively, he slipped his arms around her.

  All day he’d been telling her to trust him. Had been reassuring her. Finally, she was giving him that trust. Jace didn’t want to scare her. Not again.

  He felt her hesitate, but knew she was fighting herself, not him. He leaned into her, drawing his lips along her neck. “You okay?” he whispered.

  She nodded, curling her fingers into his shoulder to hold him to her. Urging him closer.

  This time when Jace picked her up, he didn’t lay her on the bed, but settled on the mattress, holding her against his chest. The evidence of his need pressed against her backside.

  He touched and stroked her until she whimpered. Finally, she pulled away and turned to straddle him. Her hands on his body and her lips on his brought him too close to the edge. He had to slow this down.

  He edged her away, then picked up the condom and started to sheath himself. But she pushed his hands aside and did it for him. He groaned when she curled her fist around him.

  “Amy...” he said through gritted teeth.

  With a smile, she leaned over him and whispered in his ear, “Now, Jace. Now.”

  Grasping her hips, Jace guided her inch by inch. Eyes closed, his head thrown back, he relished the soft heat holding him.

  She kissed him, and he felt her smile against his lips. She moved slowly at first, then he knew exactly when she stopped thinking. Faster. Harder. She drove them both over the edge.

  Gasping for breath, he held her, gently rubbing her back and urging her to relax. He tried to ignore his own jumbled emotions. He didn’t ever want to leave, but that was unreasonable...and something he’d think about later. Much later.

  Amy snuggled against him and he wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her. She sighed and leaned into him.

  For just a while, he’d stay with her. He buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes.

  And when he opened them again, bright morning light poured into the room.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  AMY WAS STILL ASLEEP, and Jace could only lie there and watch her, marveling. Last night had been... Hell, that wasn’t something he even wanted to try to put into words.

  He needed to get away to sort out his thoughts. Telling himself that he was going to get some breakfast, he slipped out of bed, dressed and left the room.

  The park was still quiet, though as he made his way toward the lodge’s main entrance, he saw several other tourists headed in the same direction. He took the first trail he found. He didn’t want to see anyone right now.

  The sun was barely above the horizon, and the early light painted the world pale pink and gold. His boots crunching against the gravel, he quickened his pace, glad for the cover of the trees.

  By the time he reached the edge of the canyon, the pink had grown to full gold. Beyond the cover of the trees, the air was cold, and he wished he’d grabbed his jacket. It hadn’t occurred to him that Arizona could get this cool.

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and hunched his shoulders against the morning breeze. Finally, he stood at the edge, and his breath froze in his chest—not from the cold but the awe. The cliffs. The colors. The sheer depth.

  Jace stood there for a long time, soaking it all in. This incredible place. Was it why he’d been able to sleep last night without the nightmares or claustrophobia nearly strangling him?

  Or was it Amy? Closing his eyes, he saw her as she’d been when he’d left. Asleep, her bare shoulders showing above the covers. He jerked his eyes open and focused on the equally amazing view before him.

  He could stay here forever. But soon he’d have to take Amy back to Rattlesnake Bend. And then what? He’d finished most of the kitchen remodel. The appliances were ordered and would be delivered in a couple of days.

  His original mission, to tell her about Mac, wasn’t coming along as quickly as he’d like. He hadn’t pushed it and she hadn’t asked.

  He shifted, trying to warm up, and as he moved, something metal brushed his fingers.

  Keys. More specifically, the key to Mac’s safe deposit box. Jace pulled the key ring from his pocket, and stared at it, its weight solid in his palm. He glanced over the canyon’s edge and envisioned himself chucking the thing into the void. But getting rid of the key wasn’t going to solve anything. It wasn’t the problem.

  Jace’s feelings about it were.

  He knew Amy wondered how he was paying for the kitchen. She’d frowned every time he paid for their food, and when they’d checked into the lodge yesterday. He should have told her about the money, but he liked the way things were between them.

  Money, that much money, always changed everything.

  Even last night, as she’d bared her soul to him, sharing her painful secrets, he’d resisted sharing his own. God, the things she’d told him. His hand tightened around the metal and he let it dig into his palm, knowing he deserved more than that miniscule, punishing pain.

  He was surprised at how angry he was at his friend. Had the old man ever thought of the situation he might be putting Jace in? Some of his anger dissipated. No. Mac had actually thought his daughter was forever lost to him. He’d given the money to Jace for him to build his own life, never thinking he might find Amy. But now that he had... Jace opened his hand again, staring at the key. He had to tell her.

  * * *

  SOMETHING HAD CHANGED. Amy watched Jace walk across
the small room, gathering up the few things they’d scattered around. His jacket. Her helmet. She’d heard him leave but hadn’t said anything.

  The coffee he’d brought back steamed, and the doughnuts were warm. The lodge restaurant was only a five-minute walk, yet he’d been gone over an hour.

  Maybe it had taken him that long to pick out the postcards he’d put in his pocket?

  Despite last night’s intimacy, she didn’t feel she had the right to question him. And the man who’d come back this morning was not the same one who’d held her last night. Saddened, she finished getting ready and followed him to the door.

  He led the way to the parking lot, still not saying a word. Feeling lost and disappointed, Amy trailed behind, trying to think of what to say. It wasn’t until she’d finished half her coffee and they’d reached the bike that her anger caught up with the caffeine.

  He straddled the Harley, turning and looking over his shoulder, just as he had yesterday. This time she wasn’t getting on.

  “Okay, what the heck happened this morning?” She crossed her arms. She wasn’t moving until he talked to her.

  “Nothing.” He looked away, his gaze unfocused. He wasn’t seeing the here and now.

  “Oh, that’s mature, and so helpful.”

  “What do you want from me?” He turned on her, not angry so much as puzzled.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Civility? Maybe some indication that last night was more than a cheap thrill. Because if that’s what it was, I’m not getting on that bike.”

  He had the decency to look chagrined. “No. It was much more than that,” Jace admitted. He stood, not getting off the bike, but reaching deep into his pocket. He pulled something out and spent a silent moment looking down at it. Slowly, he held out his hand, and she saw a small key nestled in his big palm.

  “What’s that?” His expression told her she might not want to know.

  This time he turned around, the leather of the seat groaning under his weight. “I haven’t told you everything.” His voice was so soft it hurt her to hear it.

  “What do you mean?”