Seeking Shelter

by Angel Smits

  “No, Jace. I don’t want you to go away.” His image blurred. “I want the memories to go away.”

  Slowly, he lifted his arm and cupped her chin in the palm of his hand. His thumb slid carefully over her cheekbone once, twice, then down to feather over her lips. “I can’t erase them,” he said gruffly. “They are a part of you. Good and bad.”

  He wanted to kiss her; she knew it. The desire radiating from him was intense. But he barely moved a muscle except for the finger that caressed her lips.

  She could taste the rough skin of his thumb on her mouth, and her eyes half closed. “Jace,” she whispered, and leaned into him. Her eyes were shut how, the gossamer glow growing stronger inside her. Maybe she could chase away the ghosts of this place with Jace.

  He stepped back. “No. We’re not doing that here, Amy.”

  Her eyes flew open at his angry tone, such a startling contrast to his gentle touch. She stared up at him, looking more closely at his expression. Desire was there, but something else, too, something dark and...

  Amy frowned and pulled away from him. “I don’t think that’s what I asked you for.”

  “It’s what you want.” He didn’t move. “You want me to take you over there and erase the memories of another man’s body with mine. I’m not going to do that.”

  Her face flamed with the memories and crude images that came to mind. He was right. She had been hoping he’d do just that. Why wouldn’t he do that for her? “Why are you being so damned honorable?” She couldn’t look at him, but stared at the desolate garden again, not really seeing it.

  She heard him move this time. The dried grass whispered under his boots and against his jeans. He stopped at the old metal pump. Nothing but a painful squeal came out when he lifted the handle.

  “You have a lot of baggage.” He walked around some more, looking at the building, but not really seeing it. “Until you deal with it, you don’t have a future.”

  “Oh, and you do? You don’t even have a home.”

  “I’m not saying I do. But I don’t claim to be well-adjusted. You pretend everything’s fine because you run that store and provide a home for Katie. But you can’t be honest with her about who her father is.”

  “She doesn’t need to know the truth.” Amy’s gaze darted to where Jace’s boots trampled the grass she’d yanked out of the ground.

  “The details? No, of course not. But give her something.”

  “I can’t.”

  He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, it was a whisper. “This is where it happened, isn’t it?”

  Amy didn’t answer, but her expression must have told him the truth. Horror and rage filled his face. She didn’t have to tell him the details. He saw enough of the truth before him. He roared in anger the same instant his boot slammed into a terra-cotta planter. The pottery shattered, sending dirt flying.

  As quickly as it came, his anger vanished. His shoulders slumped and he started walking again, this time toward the door. When he reached her side, he paused. She thought he was going to touch her. He didn’t.

  “Get the hell out of here. And figure out something to tell Katie, ’cause when you can’t find a replacement dad, she just might go looking for the real one on her own. She’s as stubborn as you are, and you won’t be able to stop her.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  JACE WALKED OUT, the night air wrapping around him. He headed straight for his bike. Palming the key, he climbed into the familiar seat and sighed, not yet starting the engine.

  Since the day he’d first seen this motorcycle, it had been the one thing that was his. Only his. It was his home. His escape. And tonight, his salvation.

  He’d told Amy he’d stay. And he would. It might kill him, but he would.

  What was the matter with him? He’d come out here to check on her, to comfort her. Not scare her half to death.

  But seeing her agony, imagining the events that had caused it...he’d seen nothing but red. Hank’s confession last night suddenly seemed all too logical. Jace wasn’t sure he’d have stopped at just destroying the man’s knee. Maybe that was why Hank’d had someone else do his dirty work. Maybe he’d known he wouldn’t have been able to hold back, either.

  Amy wasn’t Hank’s daughter, but Jace understood the connection they had. He could see feeling that way about Katie if he stuck around....

  “Jace?”

  Amy stood in the open doorway, her arms wrapped around herself, looking small and lost against the giant house.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m going home now.”

  “Good.”

  The desert was far from quiet, but neither of them spoke. She turned and pulled on the door. The wood was heavy and she struggled with its weight.

  “Let me help.” He climbed off the bike.

  “No. I got it.” The latch clicked tight. She turned back around, but didn’t move. “I know you’ll follow me back to town. Thank you. I appreciate everything, Jace. I really do.”

  “But?”

  “But I’m not ready to share anything right now.” She nervously shoved her hair out of her eyes and pinned him with a pain-filled stare. “You’re right, I have baggage. But it’s my baggage. I have to take care of it.”

  Jace didn’t know what to say. Didn’t have a clue what to do. She was the strongest person he’d ever known. He wasn’t sure he’d have held it together half as well as she had. Hell, he knew he wouldn’t have. He’d chosen to run away more times than he wanted to count.

  But for the first time in years, he wanted to stay somewhere, wanted to stay with someone, wanted to belong. This time, he wasn’t the one walking away.

  And it hurt like hell.

  * * *

  THE DAYS DRAGGED ON. First one, then two, and soon the whole week was gone. Amy went about her business, Katie trudged to the school bus each day, and both Hank and Jace seemed to have vanished.

  Amy couldn’t face going back to the hacienda, so Caryn and Rick volunteered to box up the personal possessions. They both believed her when she said the memories of her mother were too painful.

  The Realtor offered more money if they left the furniture, and she agreed. The closing was scheduled. It was a done deal.

  She should feel relieved. Sitting in her office, punching numbers into the ancient adding machine, Amy almost laughed. She could actually afford a new one now. Maybe even that computer, with the sale of the ranch. There was a little money left in her mother’s estate, the store was holding its own and the safe deposit box was still waiting in L.A.

  She pulled out the key from the desk drawer where she’d hidden it. She hadn’t decided what to do yet. And for the first time, she didn’t feel comfortable turning to Hank for advice.

  Looking out the window at Main Street, Amy had never felt so alone.

  She stared unseeingly out the window until a movement caught her eye. Her heart leaped, then just as quickly fell. It wasn’t Jace. Just someone else on a motorcycle stopping for gas. She should have known. Even with all the windows closed, she’d heard the deep, throaty roar of his bike early this morning. It was the only way she knew he was still in town.

  A few seconds later, the school bus stopped at the corner and Katie climbed off. She headed toward the store, dragging her backpack on the ground the whole way. Amy sighed. She so wasn’t up to this.

  “Hey, sweetie,” she called when her daughter opened the front door.

  Katie didn’t say anything. Butcher came bounding out from behind the counter and nudged her hand. “Not now, Butch.” She headed toward the back of the store.

  “Katie?”

  “What?” she snapped. She’d never used that tone of voice before and it was startling. Her own nerves frazzled, Amy fought to keep from losing her temper.

  “Do not t
alk to me like that, young lady.” She followed Katie, who stopped walking. “What happened?”

  “Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens.”

  “Then why are you so angry?”

  Katie dropped the backpack and crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s not fair.”

  “What’s not fair?” Amy knelt down beside her and tried to put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

  Katie pulled away. “I want a birthday party.”

  The party again. Amy suddenly felt tired. Maybe with the money from the safe deposit box or the sale of the house, she should reconsider, never mind the fact that she didn’t believe in huge celebrations for six-year-olds. She’d hoped the princess party would fade from Katie’s memory.

  The Watsons had spent a bundle, but as the town banker, he could afford it. All the girls had been given princess dresses and crowns, and there’d even been a white horse they could ride. The tent alone, decorated with balloons, ribbons and enough bling to blind the entire state, would cost more than a year of Amy’s hard-earned wages.

  “We’ve already had this discussion.”

  “But I want one. I bet Mr. Jace would help you, but he’s not here anymore. If I don’t have a big party, no one will like me as much as they like Britany.”

  “That’s not true. Why do you want to be like her? People like you just the way you are.”

  “No, they don’t. They think I’m weird. Trudy Henderson’s mom and dad are divorced, but at least she has a dad.”

  The pain in Katie’s voice tore at Amy, and Jace’s words from the other night came back to dig a little deeper. It didn’t matter what the other kids really thought, it was how Katie felt.

  “If I can’t have a dad, why can’t I have the party?” Katie stomped her foot, emphasizing her mixed-up six-year-old logic.

  “That’s enough.” Amy felt like a terrible mother at this point, but this was too painful. She had to step back before she said something she’d regret. “We’ve discussed this and I’ve made my decision. I don’t want to hear any more about it.” She stood. “Head downstairs and start on your homework.”

  Katie’s eyes shone with tears and defiance. “I hate you! You make your friends go away. Why do you have to make mine? Why don’t you go away?” She ran down the stairs and slammed her bedroom door. Amy could hear her daughter’s sobs all the way up the stairs.

  But she couldn’t follow her. Not yet. Not until she had her own emotions under control, and the hurt subsided on both sides.

  The bell over the door gave a disgustingly happy jingle as a customer arrived. With a deep breath, Amy plastered a phony smile on her face and went back to work. “Hello, Mrs. Wilson.”

  Half an hour later, Mrs. Wilson finally left with her purchases. Several times, Amy had started to go downstairs to check on Katie. Every time, the woman came up with a question. Customer service was usually important to Amy. Today, it took a definite backseat.

  When she finally made it downstairs, she expected Katie to be on the couch watching TV, with Butcher beside her. Katie knew the dog wasn’t supposed to be on the couch, but when she was upset, she’d invite him up.

  They weren’t in the living room. Maybe she’d fallen asleep after her crying jag. The bedroom door was closed. Amy knocked softly, but didn’t wait for a response. Shadows blanketed the room. Katie wasn’t there.

  “Katie?” Not in the bathroom. Had she gone into Amy’s room? Nothing but more shadows.

  Amy’s heart pounded. She took a deep breath. Katie had to be here somewhere. She had to be.

  Amy checked every closet, every nook and cranny a six-year-old might hide in. In the apartment, the store and out front. No Katie. She’d called Katie’s name so many times her voice was raw. And then she found Butcher. The dog sat at the back door, his head on his paws. His eyes sad. That’s when she knew she wouldn’t find Katie anywhere here.

  Maybe she’d gone over to see Lisa. Amy hurried to the phone, having to dial twice with her shaking fingers. Finally, Lynne answered and Amy blurted out her question.

  “No, Katie’s not here. When did you see her last?” Lynne’s concern came through the phone line.

  She knew her neighbor would understand if she panicked, but Amy held tight to her control.

  “We had an argument. She’s probably still mad at me.” She explained about the birthday party, but left out the mention of a dad or Jace.

  “I could just kill Britany’s parents for that birthday party. If it’s any consolation, all the other parents feel the same way. What a waste of money. Anyway, what can I do to help?”

  “Try to think of any place she might be.”

  Next, Amy called Hank. She didn’t want to deal with him right now, but Katie was upset that he hadn’t been around. Maybe she’d gone there.

  “No, I haven’t seen her.” His voice rose and she could hear him moving around. “She missing?”

  “I don’t know where she is.” Amy’s voice came out in a sob. It was natural to lean on Hank, as she always had, and her strength wavered now. “We had an argument. She’s not very happy with me. Is...is Jace there?” Katie spent a lot of time following Jace around. Once before, she’d defied Amy and gone to the garage to see him.

  Maybe that’s where she was now.

  “Nah, he left earlier. Said he was going out for a run on the bike.”

  “Did he say when he’d be back?”

  “Nope.”

  Amy called Caryn. She called Rick. No one had seen Katie. No one had any idea where she might go.

  Amy reached panic stage when the clock hit two hours since she’d last seen her daughter. “Katie,” she screamed again from out on the back porch, feeling desperation tightening her throat. Butcher joined in with a plaintive howl.

  “Katie!”

  There was no answer, just the soft laugh of the breeze.

  * * *

  “WHAT’S THE MATTER?” Ellen Bishop, the dispatcher, stood as soon as Amy entered the sheriff’s office. She needed help. Her daughter, her baby, was gone and she couldn’t find her. Someone had to help her. Wasn’t that the sheriff’s job? But why did it have to be Gavin of all people?

  “I can’t find Katie,” she explained as Ellen hurried toward her. “She’s gone.” Amy knew her worry showed on her face. She couldn’t help it.

  “Now, don’t go borrowing trouble. The guys are all here. They’ll know what to do.”

  Amy cringed. Ellen always thought a man could solve everything. But maybe this time she was right. Not just because they were men, but because they were trained to deal with these types of situations.

  Amy hated the ancient police station. The only time she’d been inside had been after her mother’s death, when they couldn’t seem to figure out where she was supposed to go. Her stomach clenched. Amy didn’t want to be here, but she had to. She purposefully put one foot in front of the other and followed Ellen to Gavin’s office.

  Why did he have to have an office clear at the back? She shivered but kept moving.

  “Gavin,” Ellen called down the hall. “We’ve got a problem.” The older woman shoved open the office door, not bothering to knock. For an instant, Amy wondered who actually ran this place, Gavin or the dispatcher.

  But as soon as she saw the lawman, Amy lost all coherent thought except for the fact that Katie was missing. She hurried in, not bothering to sit down, barely managing to stop when she reached the edge of his wooden desk. “Katie’s missing.”

  “Now, Amy.” He actually had the audacity to smile at her, the smarmy, placating smile she’d always hated. “She’s probably off with a friend.”

  “Don’t be an idiot for once, Gavin,” she barked. “I’ve called all her friends. I’ve spent the last two hours searching the house and store. I’ve contacted the school. She’s nowhere to be
found.” Her voice broke. “She’s gone!”

  Gavin stood, actually looking down his nose at her. “Are you admitting that you need my help now?”

  “Don’t be an ass, Gavin,” she screamed, glaring at him across his desk. “Find. My. Daughter.”

  The man looked taken aback, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times like a fish out of water.

  Suddenly, footsteps sounded in the hall and all three of them turned. Hank made his way into the room, stopping beside Amy. Behind him came Caryn and Rick. Behind them, Lynne and her husband, Beau. And Jace brought up the rear.

  Amy could only stare at Jace. It seemed like years since she’d seen him. Since he’d held her. If it weren’t for the hardness of his features, she’d have flung herself into his arms.

  In the face of so much expectation, Gavin must have realized he had to do something.

  Jace’s words only punctuated that fact. “Do your job, Sheriff. If you can’t, we’ll contact the state police.”

  “They won’t do anything until she’s been gone over twenty-four hours.”

  “That’s too long!” Amy cried. “She’s only six.”

  “Don’t even go there, Sheriff.” The threat in Jace’s voice was lethal.

  Gavin’s spine straightened, and he glared at him as if he could kill him with a stare. Jace didn’t flinch.

  “Fine. Let’s start with search parties.” Gavin pulled out a well-worn map of the county and tacked it up on the wall.

  “We’ll head out north of town,” Rick offered, stepping up beside Caryn. She nodded in agreement.

  “Hank, you know the ranch best.” Gavin looked hard at the older man. “That’ll cover the south end. I’ll call Ralph. See if he can get his ’copter up.”

  Ralph used the expensive machine to herd cattle, since his ranch was one of the largest in the state. He could see everything from the sky.

  Amy stood there nodding, listening, her arms crossed protectively in front of her. It sounded good...like a plan. Suddenly, a pair of warm hands settled on her shoulders, and she knew instinctively who stood behind her. She shuddered, struggling with the urge to lean back against Jace. She couldn’t lose control now. She might not ever recover.