Relaxed and at peace for the first time in months, I follow her into sleep.
It only feels like a few minutes later when there’s a knock at my bedroom door.
“You decent in there?” Liv’s mother shouts.
Making a quick assessment, it’s clear that we’re not. I’d fallen asleep with my cock inside my wife, and sometime during the night it’s slipped out. The mess on us, and the bed, is drying and sticky. Liv’s lying just as she fell asleep.
“Er, no,” I respond honestly, trying not to laugh.
“Well, you need to get up.”
“What is it?” a sleep-heavy voice queries.
I kiss Liv on the shoulder. “Your mom. I’ll go find out what she wants.”
I stand, and grimacing, pull on my jeans, tucking my much-in-need-of-a-shower cock behind the zip. Leaving Liv resting, I go to the door and slip out.
“What is it, Sophie?” I enquire of the woman who’s making herself at home, brewing coffee with the equipment I last saw in Heart’s old house. It looks like the prospects have been busy while we’ve been asleep.
And still are, it would seem. As I stand there, our sofa appears, carried in by Butcher and Nathan.
“Olivia’s got an appointment with the doctor at three.” Sophie offers the reason why she disturbed our sleep.
“What’s the time now?”
“One-thirty. We let you sleep in as long as we could, but she needs to get herself and the baby checked out, Eli.”
I know that she does. “Okay, I’ll go wake her. Is that for me?” I point to the cup on the counter.
“Her,” Sophie corrects with a grin. “It’s decaf.” She laughs at the expression of disgust on my face. “I’ll have some of the real stuff ready for you when you’re dressed. Unless you’d prefer tea?”
My look of horror probably indicates I’d prefer Liv’s decaffeinated coffee to that.
Liv’s not at all happy at being disturbed and made to get out of bed, but deep down I think she needs the reassurance that the baby’s alright, as after a few initial grumbles, she makes no more fuss. She gets showered and dressed while I change the bedclothes, finding clean ones in the boxes the prospects had packed and brought back from the Tucson house.
There is part of me which feels a failure returning home with my tail between my legs, having accomplished nothing while I’d been away from the compound. But I just have to suck up any feelings of inadequacy. Here is where Liv needs to be. Here with her family and a place where we can safely raise our kids. While it hadn’t just been down to me, no one had really appreciated, you could take Satan’s Devils off the compound and dress them as civilians, but the past couldn’t so easily be escaped. While I don’t know what the future holds, I’m never going to be putting Liv at risk again.
We go to the hospital and get our minds put at ease. Everything looks fine with the baby, and the drug Archangel gave her shouldn’t have caused any harm at this stage. I take the opportunity to ask the doctor whether sex is okay, realising it’s a bit late if the answer is no. But his response was to be guided by Liv. It won’t hurt the baby. If she wants to be fucked, I’m okay to fuck her. Well, he might not have worded it in precisely those terms, but that had been my translation.
When we get back to the compound, Wizard is waiting for me.
Liv’s too intent on updating her mom and mine on what the doctor had to say, that she barely notices me leaving.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eli…
It’s on no one but me that I’m not a member of the club anymore. Do I regret it? No, I do not. I was right to walk away when I knew I couldn’t contribute as I should anymore. Do I wish things had turned out differently? Fuck yes, and never more so than when I walk into the storage room and see Archangel close to taking his last breath.
It should have been me who’d been questioning him, making him hurt, but by not being a member, my chance had been taken away.
Archangel had taken my woman and potentially caused harm to her and my child. If I hadn’t stopped him, he might even have killed her. But any secrets he’d given up rather than take to the grave had been for Satan’s Devils’ ears and not for those of a civilian like me.
Wizard has brought me here as they’ve offered me a concession, that I be the one to fire the bullet which would dispatch him to meet Satan.
Throttle’s done his work well, too well it would seem. I have to look twice to be certain Archangel’s still breathing. Whatever I could do couldn’t make the man hurt anymore. It’s symbolic, me killing him, I don’t even think he’s aware who’s taken the shot.
It’s done. It’s over. The Satan’s Devils have one less enemy.
There’s no cheering, no celebration. A few sighs of relief, and the sound of hands meeting leather as backs get slapped.
Wizard cups his hands around his mouth and whistles loudly. “Time for church,” he calls out when he’s got everyone’s attention.
I feel a pang of there being a hole deep inside of me that will forever be empty as I see the members walking out. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I step out the door and turn in the direction of my house.
Suddenly I’m being dragged back by my collar.
“What the—?”
“You’re coming too. We got things to discuss,” Wizard growls into my ear.
For a second I’m bewildered, then I realise maybe they want to lay down some ground rules.
It’s fairly obvious they don’t object to Liv and I coming back to live on the compound, else they wouldn’t have moved our furniture back in. But maybe it’s only going to be temporary, time to sort ourselves out, for me to find a job and for Liv to give birth. Fear churns inside as I’m only too well aware of the dangers that lurk when ex-Devils try to live in the citizen world.
Or maybe they’ll want to explain the boundaries they’ll be setting about us living here, and what I can and can’t do with the club. It is hard not to act just as I used to. I was a Devil for seven years, six as a patched member. Perhaps they want to remind me I won’t have prospects at my beck and call anymore.
Just like the last time I was here, I’m directed to the seat Drummer’s vacated at the opposite end of the table to prez. I wait for everyone to settle, feeling awkward and out of place, my shoulders feeling light as I envy everyone else wearing their leather. When Prez bangs the gavels, and starts to say my name, I’m not surprised. They’ll get what they want to say to me said, then ask me to leave.
Wizard sits back in his chair resting the sole of his foot against the table, hands interlocked behind his head. “You did good, Eli,” he tells me. “Since last night we haven’t had a chance to catch our breath, and I haven’t had a chance to tell you that yet.”
“Yeah,” Joker butts in. “Some of us were working and burying bodies while you were balls deep in your wife.”
“Like I was saying,” Prez subjects him to a glare, “we haven’t yet met to discuss what went down. Just wanted to kick off with giving respect to you, Eli. Fuckin’ good thinking on the fly coming up with that plan. Archangel had no idea we’d be waiting.”
I shrug, brushing away any compliments, but I do explain my hastily thought rationale that had let to me suggesting the approach which had luckily worked. “Archangel thought he’d taken me unawares and had no idea I’d already spoken with you. He was so fuckin’ self-centred he totally bought that I hated everyone here. Swallowed it hook, line and sinker.”
“He called you a few choice names,” Drummer puts in from the VP seat, a smirk on his face. “Some were quite inventive.”
“While he was still capable of speaking that is.” Throttle grins, looking decidedly pleased with himself.
Wizard just rests his eyes first on his VP, then the enforcer. That’s all it takes. When he can be sure of speaking without further interruption, he addresses himself again to me. “When push came to shove, you did what you had to, Eli. There isn’t a man here who didn’t think you had their backs last night.
Not one person voiced a doubt you’d play your part anything but admirably.”
As everyone’s looking at me, I raise my chin one way, then to the other. I get a few sharp nods in return.
Wizard looks to his right and makes a gesture toward Hound, who gets to his feet and comes down to the end of the table. It’s only when he approaches, I see him carrying something. When it’s placed on the table in front of me, my eyes open wide. It’s my cut, with most of the patches in place. The only one missing is the one that read VP.
I start to reach out, but Wizard snarls. “Few conditions before you put that on. You better hear what they are.”
I drag my eyes away from the leather I never thought I’d have the chance to ever wear again, emotions swirling through me. Hope, for the first time in months, and love for these men around me and their heart-warming ability to forgive.
“Anything,” I tell him, suddenly knowing I’d give my right hand to be back with my brothers around me. I left due to my fear of letting them down, not for any other reason. I’ve missed them, needed them. I never expected I’d get another chance.
“That’s a big fuckin’ pledge there, Eli,” Peg chuckles from my side.
Blade reaches over and fist bumps him. “We may need some time to come up with our demands in that case.”
Rock snorts. “Still think he should start from the bottom and prospect again. Get him back for all the times as VP he was riding my ass.”
Mouse looks at me and winks. “Nah, what about as a hangaround?”
I roll my eyes as I realise they’re joking.
“Fuckin’ F.O.Gs,” Hound says.
Wizard clears his throat loudly, and his hardened gaze shuts the conversations down. “First, to take your place around this table, you come back as a member and not an officer.”
I nod my head vigorously. I don’t want the responsibility of being VP, and no man around this table would want me to be.
“Second, you go to therapy and do whatever the fuck you’re told to. No ifs, no buts and no excuses.”
My head continues its up and down movements, no hardship there. I’ve already made that promise to Liv.
“Third, Drummer has agreed to sit to my left for the duration, but he’s not going to be in that chair forever. Once you’ve recovered, you come back as VP.”
Now I change my action, and my head moves side to side. “No—”
“Don’t contradict me. We’ve voted on it. There’s no one else here who is better suited to the position. Yesterday you made the right call, Brother. If it hadn’t been for your quick thinking, and how you made it work, blood could have been spilt on our side—”
“It fuckin’ was,” Lady interrupts, holding up his arm which is lightly bandaged. “I got stuck like a pig.”
“Screamed like one more like,” Marvel observes. “All over a little scratch.”
“I had stitches,” Lady insists.
“Will you shut up and let me finish?” Wizard roars. I press my lips together to stop myself grinning. I’ve missed this. “If it hadn’t been for you, Eli, then there might be gaps around this table today, or women missing. The problem is, you don’t trust yourself right now, but we, on the other hand, trust you.”
If I felt emotional minutes earlier, I’m doubly so now. I glance up to see all eyes are now on me. There’s one thing puzzling me. “When did you all agree to this?”
Peg snorts. “While we were questioning Archangel. Seemed as good a time as any to have an impromptu church.”
“Particularly as he ranted and raved every time your name was mentioned. Mental torture at its best.” Blade smirks.
“Thought he was going to go into convulsions at one point.” Joker chuckles.
“Course I had to cut his tongue out after a while,” Throttle says, cleaning his nails with a knife. “He kept shouting us down.”
“You going to put that on or not?” Wizard, no, Prez, bellows.
My greedy eyes land on my cut. My hands inch toward it. I notice I’m shaking as I pick it up, and when I slide my arms through the holes, breathing in the distinctive smell of oil and leather I make a vow and voice it out loud. “I won’t let you down.”
“Of course you fuckin’ won’t, Hawk.” Prez lets his stare land on me, then looks around. “Moving on. We can cross off Archangel from our list now.”
“His associates going to cause us a problem?” Hound asks, his brow furrowing.
“Nah.” Mouse glances at prez and continues at his chin rise, “Archangel was too busy dodging the feds to be able to set up any type of organisation that’s likely to carry on without him at the helm. I’ll keep listening to the chatter, but it’s gone silent on that front now. I’m not even sure he got any of the true Real Americans to stand by his side. Sounds like just a local group of wannabe supremacists supported him last night.”
“And that Tucson cell is dead and gone,” Throttle notes. “Anyone who comes for our families will not get a second chance, which they found out last night.”
I nod, completely on board. There are clearly no survivors left from last night. Something I’ll lose no sleep over, though it seems I’d missed some of the fun.
“It’s been a long day.” Wizard brushes his hand over his face, as though to emphasise his words. “If no one’s got anything urgent, I say we go get a drink and celebrate Hawk’s return.”
“Seconded!” Rock yells loudly.
Joker fist bumps Lady, and others show they’re in full agreement with that.
It’s later, when I’ve just gone to the bar to get my second beer, Dad comes up. He rests his hand gently on my shoulder.
“You doing okay?”
I know to be honest now. “Better,” I tell him. “Still got fears swirling around in my head.” I shudder. “What if I’d been so up my ass, I hadn’t called Archangel, or if I hadn’t been able to act convincingly? What if I hadn’t come up with a plan and told Wizard?”
Drummer tightens his grip. “Don’t you think we all feel that shit? Years back, when your mom disappeared, I went through hell after I’d gotten her back. It’s natural to go through the what-ifs and have nightmares when everything goes to shit.”
“How did you cope?”
“By holding her tight and thanking fuck she came back where she belongs. By swearing nothing bad would ever happen to her again. And you know what, Son?” I raise my eyebrow. “Shit never did. Oh, the compound’s been threatened like last night, and there was the time I sent her away, when Ella and Slick got married.” His eyes glaze slightly as he remembers. “Fuck, I haven’t thought about that in years.”
“Thought about what?” Heart’s come up alongside, motioning to Butcher for a beer.
Drummer snorts. “When you were out of your head and Sam and I were looking after Amy. Keeping her out of the hands of her doped-up grandmother.”
Heart gazes at me for a moment, then takes the bottle the prospect has just handed him, and raises it toward me. “Guess I do understand, Brother. I couldn’t see a way back through my grief, but I made it.”
“Before I was born, Brother.” I wink.
Heart shakes his head. “I’d rather you didn’t remind me.” He raises his chin to us, then walks off.
“Got a couple of things to say to ya, Hawk.” Dad waits until I meet his eyes. “One, I’m not going to get comfortable seated where I am around the table, but counter wise, I’m in no hurry to step down. You take as much time as you need, Son. Just let me know when you want to take up the mantle again.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
Drummer purses his lips. “Just take it a day at a time, Hawk. One day at a fuckin’ time.
“Hey, Eli.”
I spin around, my arm already open in invitation. “How you doing, babe?”
Her eyes sharpen. “You’re wearing your cut! Oh my God, Eli! You’re back in the club?” Liv’s hand covers her mouth as though she can’t believe what she’s seeing.
“He certainly is,” Wraith�
��s voice barks from behind me.
“Are you happy?” I ask, suddenly anxious, worried in case she thinks it might set me back again.
“Happy?” Her eyes go wide. “I’m fucking ecstatic. Us, back where we belong. You back with the club? Life couldn’t be better. Mom, Sam… Did you know?” She turns to the two women who’ve walked in behind her.
Sophie does an exaggerated eye roll. “Of course we didn’t. It’s bloody club business.”
Liv copies her mother’s gesture, but the shine in her eyes shows me exactly how pleased she is with my acceptance back into the life where we both belong.
“The baby’s okay?” Wizard asks, stepping up and motioning Butcher to pass him a bottle. “What did the doctor say?”
“He’s fine,” I tell them, hugging my wife to me. “The doctor’s happy with how he’s coming along.” He’d patiently answered all my questions, ones I would probably have known all the answers to had I previously bothered to attend the appointments with Liv.
“She’s doing great,” Liv says at the same time.
“Babe,” I tell her, staring down and smirking. “That was a dick we saw on the scan.” I’d been in awe watching that screen, and felt like such an asshole that I hadn’t taken an interest before.
“That was the cord,” she replies. “No dick in sight.”
Drummer chuckles. “Think you’ve just got to accept it Liv, history is going to repeat itself. My boy will be having a son.”
Wraith looks up to the ceiling then back down. “You’re never going to let that drop, are you, Drum?”
I snigger. The story goes that Dad had boys, but Wraith never got his son. I believe Sophie put her foot down after Hilda, their fourth daughter was born, and Wraith had the snip and lost his chance. The rumour is Dad only had Zane and me as he didn’t want to take the risk of having a daughter and giving Wraith the opportunity to throw shit back at him that he’d been quite happy to dole out.
“What can I say?” Drummer tells him. “The Felis swimmers produce males.”
“What’s so wrong about daughters?” Liv asks.
Hawk's Cry : Satan's Devils MC Second Generation #2 Page 25