“Because you are marrying a man who is an anomaly. Most guys don’t make it easy to figure out what they’re thinking or what they’re looking for because they’re not great at communication. Look at what Natalie was sharing earlier – she and Jayce aren’t on the same page. Why? Because he’s not letting it be known what he wants any more than she is. So to say that Kayla should have paid better attention really isn’t fair.”
“Okay, okay, I see what you’re saying,” Julianne said with a nod. “But the question still remains, what is it that you, Kayla, want out of this relationship? If Adam were here right now and asked you where you saw the two of you say…a month from now. What would you say?”
“Um…”
“Wrong answer,” Natalie said. “Gut instinct. No thinking about it. Where do you see the two of you in a month?”
“Still not together,” Kayla said miserably. She took a major gulp of her wine.
“You really are this stupid,” Julianne said. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re friends.”
“What? What did I do now? She asked the question. I answered it!”
“Answer it like you didn’t break up!” Julianne cried. “Turn back time and answer the damn question! Sheesh!”
This was all so ridiculous she couldn’t believe they were seriously still talking about it. “A month from now? I see us as we are – getting together for dinners and going to museums and galleries and just…being.”
“Six months from now?” Julianne prompted.
“The same.”
“A year from now?” Natalie asked.
Kayla shrugged. “The same.”
“Five years from now?” Harper asked.
And that’s when it hit her. “The same,” she said weakly and then looked at them all. “And that’s bad, right? You can’t stay the same like that. It would get boring. Oh, God! I’m boring! I’m the reason this whole thing failed!”
“Well…I guess it’s okay if you say it,” Harper teased.
“No, I’m serious! What if there’s something wrong with me? Like I’m missing some sort of female…thing! Like a gene or something that makes me think like…like…”
“A woman?” Harper finished for her. “Um, yeah. You are. We all know that.”
Kayla flopped back against the couch. “I’m totally screwed here, aren’t I? Like…there’s no going back. I can’t turn back time and take back being an idiot.” Then she looked at Julianne. “I lost him, didn’t I?”
Julianne didn’t answer.
None of them did.
Instead, they all huddled on the couch for a big group hug.
****
“I don’t think we should be doing this.”
“Oh, we totally should be doing this. I think this is the perfect day for it.”
“Are we going to get in trouble? Because I feel like we’re going to get in trouble.”
Julianne looked at them and frowned. “I called Debbie and asked if it was okay and she said yes. So everyone stop worrying.”
They were at Fitness Frenzy and heading up to the second floor where the boxing ring and training equipment was. Normally this space was reserved for private lessons and training sessions, but Julianne had called ahead to make sure no one was using it. Harper didn’t really want to come since her last trip to this space did not end well and she still had a sore hand to prove it.
But here they were – all primed up to get out their frustrations.
For Natalie to use the punching bag and pretend it’s Jayce and demand that he pay attention to her.
For Kayla to get out her frustration for totally messing up a good relationship.
For Julianne to work on her wedding planning rage.
And for Harper? Well, she didn’t want to say it out loud, but they all knew who her bag represented.
Her mother.
At the top of the stairs, they saw that the space was empty and Julianne led them around, told them what they could and couldn’t use and showed them where to find gloves. As they all did their best to lace up, it became obvious that someone was going to have a loose one.
And that turned out to be Harper.
“I’ll run downstairs and see if one of the trainers can help,” she said, but when she went to turn around, she immediately ran into someone.
Brady.
For the love of it…again? What were the odds?
“Ladies,” Brady said pleasantly. “What brings all of you up here today?”
Julianne gave him the rundown, including how Harper now needed help with her gloves.
“Ah, like an angry women’s club. Got it,” he said with a grin.
“That’s kind of a sexist thing to say,” Harper said to him. He shrugged and took her left hand in his and re-tied the glove. She thanked him and then watched as he laced up the right glove.
“Too tight?” he asked, and she realized he had a really good voice – deep and a little gruff and…kind of sexy.
Oh no…don’t go there, she warned herself. Just look at him! He’s all wrong. Completely wrong. He’s everything you told the girls were deal breakers. As a matter of fact, he was the official poster boy for her list of deal breakers!
Well…she couldn’t be sure on all of them, but he had at least two covered – the muscles and the sports thing. Today he was wearing an NC State football t-shirt. Didn’t he own any regular, non-sports-related shirts?
“You a Wolfpack fan?” he asked.
“Um…what?”
“I saw you looking at the logo. You a Wolfpack fan?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t like any sports.”
He shrugged and stepped away. “I know you’ve had two whole lessons, Jules,” he said with a chuckle, “but do you want me to explain some things to your friends so no one gets hurt?”
“That would be great, Brady. Thanks,” Julianne replied.
They each took a bag as Brady stood by Julianne’s and went over some basic moves. As much as she loathed herself for it, Harper couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of him – and not just because he was showing them how to move and where to hit to avoid injury, but because for such a big man, he moved with…grace. Maybe that wasn’t the right word but everything about the way he moved was like a choreographed dance.
And it was kind of hot.
“I’m going to go downstairs and grab some water but I’ll be back up in a few to check on you, okay?” he said before turning and heading down the stairs. Honestly, she didn’t want him to come back because she knew he’d distract her. Not that he was going to single her out or anything, but she knew she’d end up staring at him and probably hit herself in the face with the bag.
“Maybe next time you’ll turn off the fucking TV!” Natalie yelled and then began pounding on the bag. Like seriously pounding – two fists in rapid succession. She let out a cry like she was some sort of warrior going into battle and Harper shot Julianne a look that told her to do something.
By the time Julianne moved, however, Natalie took a step back from the bag and let out a loud breath, then began to laugh. “That felt great! Oh, my God! I love this! You guys totally need to try it!”
And then she started all over again – this time yelling at the bag/Jayce about not picking up his dirty laundry.
Yeah. The girl had issues.
She and Jules both shrugged and then went to work on their own bags. It took Harper a few minutes to find her groove – after all, it was her mother’s face she was picturing and there was something that just didn’t feel right about punching it.
No matter how much she wanted to.
“You’re too tense,” Brady said from behind her.
Dammit! When did he get back?
“I’m not tense, I’m just…I’m trying to figure out…”
He stepped in close behind her – really close –and lined her body up against his. Brady guided her arms in a slow-motion move to show her how to hold herself and how far to extend her arm so that she wouldn’t hurt herself.
Was it her imagination or was he lingering? Was he…was he holding her longer than he really needed to? And, if she wasn’t mistaken, did he sort of inhale or breathe deeply as if smelling her perfume? Her mind was screaming yes to all those things just as much as it was almost demanding that she lean back into him and feel…everything. All of him.
And maybe rub up against him a little bit.
After a minute, Brady pulled away slightly – his hands resting on her hips and encouraging her. “Now try it and remember to pivot your hip when you punch.” As she went through the motions, his hands gently squeezed her hips to guide her.
In her mind, Harper had a completely different image of what she wanted to do with her hips and it had nothing to do with punching.
She took a few jabs at the bag and was about to ask if she was doing it right when Natalie let out another warrior cry. Before she knew it, Brady was over there and talking to her softly about her form. Harper watched in mild dismay as he guided Natalie in her moves too.
Well damn, she sighed quietly.
Not that she was putting too much into the way he touched her – okay, she totally was, but…she kind of hoped he was touching her because he wanted to. As a man. Not as a teacher. God, it had been so long since she’d been touched by anyone! Maybe that was why she reacted the way she did. Still…seeing Brady with his hands on Natalie kind of ticked her off.
So he was just a handsy guy. And so it kind of made sense that he had to touch you to really make you understand how to do this stuff. She glanced over and saw him do the same with Kayla and all of her good, sexy feelings from two minutes before were gone.
In a flash, she got into position and didn’t let out a warrior cry, but a low, feral growl as she went to town on her own bag.
And it was no longer her mother’s face she saw on the bag, but Brady’s.
****
Natalie was sweaty and exhausted and she felt better than she had in a long time.
Kickboxing was now her new favorite thing to do. She wasn’t giving up on Zumba – Julianne wouldn’t allow that – but she was adding this to her workout routine. Mentally and physically, she felt rejuvenated and she was in a much better frame of mind to head home and talk to Jayce.
Julianne and Harper had already left and she was finishing getting cleaned up in the locker room with Kayla. She looked over at her and asked, “Do I go home and tell Jayce how he upset me or do I just let it go?”
Kayla’s eyes went wide at the question. “Natalie, you have to let him know. If you just push it aside, he’s going to do it again and you’ll be right back where you were before. And if you don’t want to keep having this same issue, you have to do something about it.”
“Ugh…I know you’re right.”
“But…?”
“But…what if he doesn’t get it? What if he tells me I’m overreacting?”
“Oh, he’s definitely going to tell you that,” Kayla said with a mirthless laugh. “Trust me. He’s not going to want to admit that he did anything wrong. No man does.”
“So…I’m going to have to have this fight, aren’t I?” It wasn’t really a question because Natalie already knew the answer. She and Jayce never fought. They never raised their voices to each other. Sure she’d gotten mad about things, but she tended to keep it to herself. And after all of her warrior crying upstairs at the bag, she realized how good it could feel to let it out.
Slipping on her shoes, she picked up her gym bag and checked her reflection in the mirror. She looked good. Calm. Confident.
Beside her, Kayla stood up. “Look, I know you and I…well…we’re not…I mean…we’ve never been…”
“I know.”
With a sigh, Kayla went on. “What I’m trying to say is that if you need someone to talk to – or even someplace to go – I’m here for you. I’m a good listener and…hell, if you want to get away for a couple of days, you can stay at my place. I leave on Tuesday for Nevada so I’ll be gone for most of the week and you’d have the place to yourself.”
“I don’t think it will come to that, but thank you.”
Kayla shrugged. “Just know that the offer’s there.”
The entire way home, Natalie thought about Kayla’s offer. It was very sweet of her to say, but Natalie had a feeling that she and Jayce were going to talk and clear the air and then everything was going to be all right. This was just a…a disagreement. And a small one. She had made plans and had expectations in her own head that Jayce wasn’t aware of, so really, how could she be mad at him? He wasn’t a mind reader.
She pulled into her driveway and stared at the house for a moment. It wasn’t her dream house, but it was a great starter home for a young couple. A two-story Colonial with three bedrooms, three bathrooms and a beautifully manicured yard. Not many of their friends owned such a nice house and she knew she was lucky in so many ways. Unfortunately, now that some of her blinders had come off about married life, she knew there was a good chance of things changing in their relationship – and not in a good way.
No! Don’t think like that! She admonished herself. They were going to talk it out; she was going to speak her mind, nicely, and Jayce would see how his disinterest was hurting their marriage. There would probably be some harsh words, but she was ready for them.
And then tomorrow she would go out and buy a gym bag and set it up in the basement.
Jayce’s car was in the driveway and with one last deep breath, Natalie grabbed her gym bag and purse and went into the house.
It was almost dinner time and she had been gone all day without once calling or texting her husband to let him know where she was or when she’d be back. Was she upset that he never bothered to contact her to see if she was okay? Yes. Was she upset that he hadn’t woken up with her this morning to apologize? Sure. As she walked through the front door, she froze.
The place was a mess.
Like an absolute mess.
There were dishes and glasses and cans of beer and soda scattered all over the living room. The television was on and Jayce was lying on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt.
Natalie slammed the door and almost smiled when he jumped up from the couch.
“Holy shit, Natalie! What the hell? You scared the crap out of me!” he snapped.
That was it? That’s all he had to say? And in that tone?
Fine. The gloves were off.
“Look at this room!” she snapped right back. “Seriously, you can’t lift up one plate and put it in the dishwasher? This place looks like a damn pig sty!”
His eyes went wide as he brushed some crumbs off his shirt. “Where have you been all day?”
“What does that have to do with the way this room looks?” she demanded, throwing her bags on the floor.
“If I had known when you were going to be back…”
She saw red. “You still wouldn’t have done a damn thing,” she said and stormed into the kitchen.
And immediately wished she hadn’t.
It was as if Jayce had emptied the entire contents of their refrigerator and placed it on every surface in the kitchen.
The warrior cry came out before she could stop it.
Jayce came running in. “What? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
Rage. That was the only way to describe how she was feeling right now. Apparently, the whole kickboxing thing had unleashed something in her that now refused to be contained.
“Look at this place!” she screeched. “Just look at it! Why would you do this?”
Jayce looked around and at least tried to look like he was sorry. “Um…”
“You are beyond lazy,” she shouted as she walked around the kitchen. As much as she wanted to pick up everything and put it away, she knew that was what he wanted – he didn’t want to do anything for himself and didn’t think that he had to
. “You are a grown man and as such, you know how to put things away. This,” she said as she motioned to the entire room, “is the result of a brat. A spoiled brat! You need to grow the hell up!”
“Now wait a minute,” he began, and clearly, he had enough of her tirade. “I’ll admit that the place is a bit of a mess, but you have no right to start throwing insults like that, Natalie.”
“I have every right,” she countered. “Last night I scrubbed this kitchen clean. There wasn’t one crumb to be found anywhere and now look at it! There’s an open package of bread, the mayonnaise jar is open with a knife in it, there’s three open bags of chips over there, the milk is out…I mean, seriously?”
For a minute he just looked at her as if he didn’t understand what she was saying. Raking a hand through his blonde hair with frustration, he cursed and Natalie couldn’t help but gasp. Jayce rarely cursed and if he did, it was while watching a football game or some other sporting thing. But never at her. It was completely out of character for him.
“So…what, Natalie? Now it’s my job to clean the damn house? If you were here, like you usually are, it wouldn’t have gotten like this!”
“You’re saying this is my fault? My fault?” she yelled even louder. “So because I was out all day, that means you don’t have to be responsible and pick up your own shit?”
He didn’t respond. And then she realized that she was standing up for herself and he probably had no idea what to do about it. He took a step toward her and if she wasn’t so pissed off she’d say that he looked good – scruffy and unkempt, but it looked good on him. Sexy. She was breathing heavily out of frustration and from yelling and…
Wait. Was she actually turned on by this?
“Where were you all day?” he asked, his voice low and just a little menacing.
Oh…
All of her girly parts were starting to feel a little…tingly. Deciding to see if she was really feeling what she thought she was, she gave him a defiant response. “Out.”
He took another step toward her – she could see the stubble on his jaw and her hands twitched to touch it. Her heart rate kicked up.
“Out where, Nat? You were going to Zumba and dress shopping. It’s almost six and you smell like you just showered.”
The Bridal Squad Page 10