And she knew he was right. If he had never pushed, she’d still be alone.
Julianne’s words from earlier came back to her – sometimes that means saying things that are uncomfortable and…insensitive. She’d have to call her and tell her she was right.
Later.
****
“I’m sorry.”
Harper stood next to the boxing ring and looked up at Brady who was pretty much giving her the cold shoulder. He looked down at her and he was in full gear – head, mouth and body – and it shouldn’t have looked sexy, but it did.
Dammit.
“I’m kind of busy here, Harper,” he said firmly, and she wasn’t sure if it was because he was truly busy or he just didn’t want to deal with her. “I’ll call you later.” Then the bell rang and he went back to sparring with his opponent.
She stood there in mild shock at being dismissed. Looking around she saw people working out and going about their business and was kind of relieved that no one else realized what had just happened.
He didn’t want to talk to her right now? Fine.
Without a second glance, she walked away and went down the stairs to where Julianne was just coming out of the studio after a class.
“Hey! How did it go? Did you talk to him?”
“He won’t talk to me. He’s in the ring. Personally, I think he’s just messing around and doesn’t really need to be doing it – like he’s purposely staying busy to avoid talking to me – but that’s just my opinion.”
“Well damn,” Julianne said, frowning. “So now what?”
So many thoughts raced through Harper’s mind. She could just wait and talk to him tonight, but she didn’t really have the patience for that. Going back up the stairs and making a scene while she demanded that he talk to her was another option, but really unappealing.
And then she knew what she had to do.
“Jules, I need you to do me a favor.”
“Anything. What is it?”
Fifteen minutes later, Harper walked back up the stairs and saw Brady standing in the ring with his back to her. He was talking to one of the other trainers and for a minute, her steps faltered. Was she really going to do this?
Julianne gave her a small shove and whispered, “You got this.”
Slowly, Harper made her way across the room and positioned herself in a spot where Brady couldn’t possibly ignore her.
“Brady!” Someone called out. “Your next client’s here!”
“Next…? I don’t have…” He froze when he turned and saw Harper standing in the ring. “What the hell are you doing?”
Banging her gloves together, she did her best to look tough. “You said you were busy,” she said boldly. “And I didn’t want to wait until later to talk.”
He huffed as his shoulders slumped. “We’re not doing this. Any of this. Just…go. I swear I’ll call you later.”
Remembering some of the foot work he had taught her, Harper began to move around him – moving this way and that – taking small jabs at him but never making contact. “No. I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.”
He didn’t spar, per se, but he began to move around the ring with her. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for two weeks and you’ve managed to avoid me. Why should I make the time for you now?”
She pulled a jab and a cross punch and lightly caught him in the gut. “Because otherwise you know I’ll kick your ass here in front of your clients.”
His laugh was low and thick and sexy as hell. They were moving around the ring, dancing around each other and Harper was relieved when he started catching on and going with her.
“You’re going to kick my ass?”
“You know it. Then what will you do? Your income will dry up because your clients are going to know that you got beat by a girl and it will just be embarrassing.” Another jab but she skipped back out of his reach when he tried to tag her. “Next thing you know, you’ll be out of work and sad and then what?”
“You’re insane; you know that, right?” he teased but at least he was smiling now.
“Ooh…trash talk. I can totally do that.” With more enthusiasm than skill, she jumped and bobbed and wove her way all around him in the ring. “C’mon, big guy. Show me what you’ve got.”
For such a large man, he moved pretty damn fast and before she knew it, Harper was pinned in a corner. “I’ve already showed you what I’ve got,” he said menacingly, but he was smiling. “I’ve laid it all out there for you, Harper. Maybe it’s time you showed me what you’ve got.”
Seriously? Hadn’t they gone over that ugly mess several times over?
In a very un-boxing-like move, she shoved him and did a quick step to the side to get out of the corner. “I believe you have it mixed up, Bennett. We know all about me.”
He did some fancy footwork as he reversed their positions. “Are you sure about that? Because it seems to me that all you’ve shown me in the last couple of weeks is how you’re good at hiding and avoiding conversations.” One of his gloves made contact with her shoulder and it just spurred her on.
“Is that right? Because what I’ve seen is that you only show what you want to show and that you judged me based on the actions of others.” The punch she landed on his arm was harder than she though and she winced. “You held part of yourself back from me after seeing me at my worst. So if you ask me, you’re the one who needs to step up his game.”
They had an audience around the ring and Harper refused to get distracted by them. Her sister was there along with a dozen other people.
“What is it that you want from me, Harper?” Brady asked, side-stepping her attempt at landing another punch. “What is it that you want for us?”
“I want there to be an us, you big idiot!” she cried and this time her punch hit him square in the chest – mainly because he’d stopped moving.
Brady reached out and steadied her, his gloved hands on her shoulders. “You sure about that?” he asked.
Slightly breathless, feeling extremely vulnerable and on display, she nodded. “I am. I really am, Brady.”
“Because you know everything now, Harper. No more secrets. You know who I am.”
She nodded again. “And I believe we already covered how you know all of my secrets, Brady. There’s still a very real possibility of me being a hot mess from time to time because my family isn’t going anywhere.”
“Hey!” Julianne called out, but Harper merely waved her off without taking her eyes off of Brady.
Harper continued, “But I know I can handle them because of you. I know I can handle just about anything because of you. And I want to see where this can go – you and me.”
His smile grew. “I want that too, Harper. You know that I do. I feel like I’ve been waiting a long time to finally be myself with you and…I’d like to see how that feels.”
Now it was her turn to smile. “I’d like to see how that feels too.” She really wished that they weren’t in the middle of a boxing ring with all kinds of gear on because there were several things she wanted to be doing right now.
“C’mon,” he said, “let’s get out of here.” He helped her down and Julianne rushed over and helped her get her gloves off and then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before waving to Brady.
Their audience dispersed and as soon as he had his gloves off, he took Harper by the hand and led her back to one of the offices on that level. Behind closed doors, he kissed her. It was so deep and wet and full of promise that she couldn’t wait to see what he had in store for her when they were back at his place and truly alone.
****
“I’m sorry.”
Natalie took a step back and then moved to the other side of the room. “I…I don’t even know what to say.”
Jayce was seated on the living room sofa – their living room sofa – as he watched her warily. “I thought a lot about what you said and…I think you’re right. I don’t know if I want to be married to you anymore.”
&nbs
p; Her heart squeezed so painfully in her chest that she thought she was going to die. Slowly, she turned her back on him so that he wouldn’t see the devastation on her face. A shuddery breath came out as she tried to think of something to say.
All of her things were out in the car – she was completely prepared to move back in with him tonight. Right now. If she had to be thankful for anything, it was that she had left it all out there. Jayce would never know that she had come prepared to fight.
Wait…she was prepared to fight so…why wasn’t she?
Turning back around, she looked at him. “When did you decide this?”
“Um…I’ve been thinking and, like you, this is the first time I’ve really lived on my own and…”
Natalie looked around the house. It was clean, but barely. When she’d peeked into the kitchen when she arrived she saw a mountain of takeout containers in the trash, which was overflowing. There was a…a smell that was never there before and his clothes were wrinkled.
“And you’re enjoying living like this?” she asked. “Like a frat boy?”
He came to his feet. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m living like a frat boy…”
“Do you even know how to do laundry?”
“No, but…”
“I spoke to your mother and she’s not coming back to help you with that anymore,” she threw at him before he tried to pretend like he was making do. She knew he wasn’t. It was obvious.
He huffed with frustration and began to pace. “Yeah, I know that, Natalie. But don’t you see? This is why we shouldn’t be married anymore. I have no idea how to do anything for myself! I’m a thirty-year-old man who had to call his mother to come and wash his clothes! Do you know how degrading that was?”
Crossing her arms across her chest, she shook her head. “Probably as degrading as being used for angry sex to avoid an argument.”
“What?” he cried, his eyes going wide. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“Please,” she said with disgust. “That’s what our relationship became in those last few weeks. We were arguing all the time and instead of actually working on our issues, we ended up naked and fucking!”
“Natalie! What in the world…?”
Dropping her arms, she advanced on him. “What? What’s the matter? You didn’t seem to mind listening to me talk like that while we were having angry sex! Why can’t I talk like that now?”
And she realized they were doing it again! They were going around and around in circles and all it was doing was turning her on! If he touched her right now, she’d be more than willing to fling her panties on top of the heaping pile of trash and have a throw-down on the living room floor! What was wrong with her?
She never saw him move, but suddenly he was in front of her and gripping her shoulders. With a slight shake, he growled, “Stop it! Just…just stop it!”
And for some reason, she instantly stilled.
“You listen to me, Natalie Michaels, the woman I love – the woman I fell in love with – used to be offended by talk like that! I don’t know who you are anymore!” He released her and took several steps away. “My therapist told me that I have to…”
“Wait, wait, wait…,” she interrupted. “Your…therapist?”
“Shit,” he muttered. When he looked at her again, he looked completely defeated. “When you left me, I felt like I was the wronged party. That was my immediate reaction. I thought, ‘How could she do this to me?’ The more I talked to people, friends and family, I realized that I was the one who had wronged you. I didn’t get any sympathy and basically the consensus was that everyone was surprised you hadn’t left me sooner.”
“Jayce…”
“It’s true.” He let out a weary sigh and sat back down on the couch. “Everyone said I was wrong, you wouldn’t take my calls, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that they were all right. So I found a counselor – a marriage counselor – and started going immediately. I kind of lucked out that they even had any openings, but I go on my lunch hour and…”
“But…you always hated when you had to work through lunch. You said…”
He looked up at her sadly. “I said a lot of things, Natalie, and most of them were just wrong. I’m so sorry.” He paused. “And that’s why I don’t think we should be married anymore. You deserve so much more than what I’ve been giving you. You deserve someone who isn’t lazy and can handle washing their own clothes and doesn’t look for excuses to get out of family get-togethers…and mostly, you deserve someone who won’t take you for granted.”
The lump in her throat was so big she could barely breathe. Lowering herself to the love seat opposite her husband, Natalie sat and let his words sink in. Was she supposed to keep fighting? Was she just supposed to accept her fate – their fate – and say goodbye?
“I want to go with you,” she said finally.
Jayce looked surprised. “Really? You…you would be okay with going for therapy?”
She nodded. “I would. I think we both need it. Because, let’s be honest, Jayce, you weren’t the only one at fault here. I was so stuck in trying to make sure that every day was like a damn scene from a romance novel that I had no idea how to just live like a normal couple.”
Relief washed over him and she saw him visibly relax. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he said gruffly. “You make everything right, Natalie. Without you, my world is just miserable.”
“You’re just saying that because I make your life easier,” she said, but not with condemnation, but with light honesty.
She didn’t want to fight anymore.
They’d done enough of that.
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now,” Jayce admitted. “I mean, I think we’ve agreed to go to counseling together but…what about the rest? I don’t expect you to want to come back here and live with me again until I get my shit together – or at the very least, hire a cleaning crew to come in and scrub this place down. But…”
Natalie smiled as all her tension began to ease. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to move back in right away. After all, it might be better for them to get a couple of sessions with the therapist under their belt before they took that step.
When she suggested it to him a minute later, he agreed. But not before she saw the sadness on his face. “I know you’re right,” he said quietly. “I was just hoping that…I really just wanted…”
Tears stung her eyes. “I know,” she whispered. “Me too.”
“Can I…I mean…would it be all right if we just…sat together and I held you?” he asked.
No request had ever sounded sweeter. Rather than try to speak, Natalie stood, walked over to the sofa and sat beside him. Jayce’s arm came around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.
And they stayed like that for a very long time.
****
“I’m sorry.”
“No. Absolutely not. No way.”
Julianne’s eyes went wide as Gavin seemed to firmly put his foot down. “What do you mean no? I just explained to you what I came to realize and…”
“Don’t you see?” he asked with exasperation. “I can’t keep up on this see-saw with you, Jules! You want the wedding right now because everyone’s behaving. Next week something will happen to throw you off and you’re going to want to elope. Now I’ll admit that all I want in this world is for you to be happy, but you’re making me crazy!”
Julianne stomped her foot and let out a cry of frustration. “You think you’re going crazy? You should try living in my head for a while!”
“I already do, Sweetheart,” he said soothingly, walking over and pulling her into his embrace. “What’s going on? Why are we going there again?”
Resting her head on his chest, she sighed. “My whole life, I wanted a big wedding. I wanted the dress and the flowers and the veil…I wanted to be a princess for a day.”
He pulled back and looked at her with a grin. “You sure about that? Because that’s not the
vibe I’ve been getting since we started planning the wedding.”
“I know, I know…and I’m sorry. I never thought about the reality of it all. I wanted the fairytale. You never saw Cinderella bitching about bridesmaids’ dresses.”
Chuckling softly, Gavin kissed the top of her head. “I know what you’re saying. But…when does it end, Jules? At what point am I supposed to stand back and watch you go crazy? You’re already kickboxing to relieve stress. What’s next? A shooting range? I just…Sweetheart, I’m sorry but I don’t think this is the right decision for us.”
Stepping out of his arms, Julianne crossed to the other side of the room and looked out the large picture window to their backyard. Hugging her middle, she thought about her conversation with the girls. Everyone was willing to face their fears and take a risk and she was the reason why. How could she ask that of her friends if she wasn’t willing to do the same?
“Gavin, you and I never do anything without talking about it first and normally, we come to an agreement. I think one of the greatest things about us is how we listen to each other and really take each other’s feelings into consideration.”
He came and stood beside her. “I agree.”
“We both wanted this wedding. I know we did,” she went on. “And I know I got crazy and I’m sure I’m going to get crazy again, but…it’s only for another six months and then it will be over.” She turned to face him. “And I don’t think that’s a whole lot of time considering we’re planning the rest of our lives.”
Gavin didn’t look convinced. “What about your mom?”
“For now, she’s promised to behave and now that my dad has come to see how she’s gotten out of hand, I think we’ll have some help there.”
“What about the girls fighting?”
“They’re all getting along much better.”
“The caterer?”
“I already handled the menu.”
“Your mother’s dress?”
“I told her she can’t wear it and she’ll have to go with the one Hailey ordered for her.”
Nodding, he studied her for a moment.
The Bridal Squad Page 28