by Amy Fetzer
"Hi."
She let her gaze slide over his bare chest and lower, to where the sheets pooled around his hips. Chase felt himself harden instantly. It had a lot to do with the deep maroon lace bra and skimpy thong panties she wore. He recognized them from the sets she'd been trying to dig out of the box in the storeroom, the first time he'd experienced her passion. The look in her eyes said she remembered, too.
"I thought you said you couldn't get a thigh into that."
"I guess I was wrong." The few words spoke volumes, yet she didn't come to him. "Chase?"
"Yeah?" He dragged his gaze from the lush display of her body to her face.
"Now that I have your complete attention," she said with a smile while reaching for a matching silk robe and slipping it on, "we need to talk."
Chase's heart shot to his throat and he leaned his back against the headboard, drawing up one leg beneath the sheet and resting his coffee cup on his knee. Inside he was suddenly a mass of cut nerves. "It that why you attacked me on the doorstep? To get my attention?"
Her skin deepened with color. "It was a spontaneous decision. Since you've avoided me like the plague for weeks now—"
"Me?" He sat up a bit. "You're the one who insisted we shouldn't see each other."
She eyed him meaningfully, yanking on her robe sash. "I didn't mean permanently, Chase."
"Could have fooled me," he groused. He took a fortifying sip of coffee.
"I tried to talk to you, in the hospital, in the shop, but you just kept walking away and building a bigger wall. What was I supposed to do?"
He toyed with the cup handle, then set it aside and met her gaze. "Bust it down, maybe."
She pressed her knee to the bed, then settled on the edge, hands on her lap. "I would never have denied you time with Christopher."
"No," he scoffed, glancing away. "Only with you." He made a frustrated sound and met her gaze, months of hurt in his eyes. "I felt like an outcast, Tessa, and after Christopher was born, I felt as if everyone else was invited into your life, except me. Do you know how much that hurt?" His fist bunched in the sheets. "That you couldn't stand a minute around me?"
"Oh, Chase," she cried softly. "All I could do was feel your emotions, how much I was hurting you by not marrying you, and how much I loved you despite the uncertainty and fear I felt." Her eyes dampened, shined. "I wanted you with me every second, but I couldn't think with you around. You badgered me every day just by proposing. And I never wanted to feel as vulnerable and weak as Ryan made me feel."
"I'm not Ryan!" he exploded, lurching from the bed, naked. Stunned by his angry burst, Tessa watched as he grabbed a pair of shorts from his duffel, jamming them on.
When he looked as if he'd walk out, she blurted, "My mom was pregnant with Sam before she married Dad—"
He looked up from fastening his shorts. "She told me."
She was startled, then frowned. "Did she tell you that they argued for years over whether he married her for Samantha's sake or for love, that he would storm out and not come back for days and she'd cry herself to sleep?"
Chase shook his head.
"I hated him for making her feel so rotten. I didn't want that for us."
"You're not your mother, Tessa," he bit out, his eyes sharp. "And I'm not your dad." He left the room and she chased him, catching hold of his arm.
"I know." He wouldn't look at her and she could feel every cell of his capped pain. "But can you see what I've been fighting?"
He gave her a half-lidded glance. "All I see is a woman hiding behind some childhood memory that has nothing to do with us," he said, pulling free. "And she still doesn't know what she wants." He strode out the open French doors and onto the sun deck.
"I want you!" she called, then followed. "I want you," she said again, softer.
Gripping the railing, Chase stared down at the dark water. "How can I believe you?" he said, then pushed away to face her. "Don't you think I had fears? Hell, Tessa, you didn't even need me to get pregnant with my baby. You certainly didn't need me to give birth. You didn't need me to be around at all." He flung his hands out in a helpless gesture. "Ever." Looking somewhere beyond her, he clenched his fists at his sides, veins and muscles flexing as he said, "You did everything without me, didn't want my help, and for a while there," his gaze collided with hers, his anger erupting, "I felt like some security blanket you snuggled with then discarded when you got yourself together!"
She gasped and stepped back. "That isn't true!"
"Isn't it?"
"No! For God's sake, Chase. Just because I'm self-reliant doesn't mean I don't need you."
He scoffed. "You've dictated this relationship. Organized it into a nice little square where you could deal with it on your terms, in your own time. Well, I've got news for you, Tessa Lightfoot. I'm a round peg. And I don't fit."
Fear struck through her. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I don't want to be second to your unfounded fears and your need for … independence."
She planted her hands on her hips and gave him a cocky look. "Look who's talking. You bullied me from day one, Chase Madison. And need I remind you that you forced your way into my life and threatened everything I'd struggled over for years." She shrugged, palms out. "Of course, I held on to it. Half because it was the only security I had, except our baby, and half because I was afraid that what I really wanted … wasn't real."
He blinked as understanding struck, then his eyes narrowed, distrusting the calm in the storm. "And what makes you so sure you know what you want now?"
There was a stretch of silence before she said, "Because what I have isn't enough."
He folded his arms over his naked chest and waited for more.
"Because loving you and loving our child are two different things."
"Surprise, surprise," he muttered, looking off to the side.
She moved up to him, against him. "Chase?"
"Yeah."
He wouldn't look at her and she pressed her hand to his cheek and made him. "I've missed you terribly."
He crumbled, his shoulders sagging, arms falling to his sides.
She closed her hands around his muscled biceps. "I need you to love me, Chase." Her searching eyes filled with tears. "Nothing in my life means anything except having you there, every hour, every minute." Her voice lowered to a husky pitch, fracturing with torment. "I feel so broken inside without you."
Chase gazed down into her bright green eyes and saw her heart pleading for his understanding. Slowly his arms slipped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. He smoothed his hand up her back and tucked her head against the curve of his shoulder. "Now you know how I've been feeling for the past months."
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
Her quiet tears wet his bare chest. "Yeah, me too."
"I love you, Chase." She squeezed him tighter. "That never stopped."
"I know, angel," he said softly. "I love you."
Over her head, his gaze rested on his briefcase, the papers he knew were inside, and he took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't putting a gun to his future. He let her go and moved to the case, flipping the latches and opening it. His hand hesitated.
"Chase?"
He turned, the document crimping in his hand.
Her complexion paled as her gaze dropped to the papers, their every word imprinted in her brain. Oh, God. They were signed. She spun away, covering her mouth to hold back a cry as she flew down the steps to the pier. She stopped, unable to go farther, and felt him move up behind her. She looked at him over her shoulder.
"I thought we'd gone past that." Her voice was scarcely a whisper.
Chase winced, hearing her torment in every syllable, but he clung to his need to clear away the last bit of rubble between them. "Not far enough."
She faced him and stared at the document, swiping her tears with the sleeve of her robe. That he even had them, let alone signed them, was so far removed from his supposed feelings that she was struck dumb a
gain.
Her gaze lifted to his. "Why are you doing this still?"
"Because I want to see you completely happy."
She choked, aghast. "And you think this will do it?" she cried, looking as if he'd stabbed her, and Chase grasped for his equilibrium. "Chase, we're a—"
"Family?" he cut in, arching a brow. "I want to be a husband, a lover … then a father."
The pier bobbed beneath her bare feet as she rapidly searched his stark features. "You love our baby."
He reared back. "Of course I do," came without a doubt. "I gave up my rights, but not my heart. I love you, Tessa," he said, advancing and making her back-step down the dock. "You. Because you're gentle and caring and you're the sexiest woman on this earth." He seared a quick look down her body. "Not because you suffered having our baby. I can't separate the woman who carried my child from the woman I love." He shrugged. "They have the same body, the same heart. I have no rights." He snapped the thick document against the wind. "I gave them away to prove it's you I want. You I love first." He leaned down in her face, his voice softening a fraction. "When Christopher is grown and gone, it'll still be just you."
Confused, her shoulders drooping, Tessa stared up into the eyes of the man who could destroy her world. "Now what do we do?"
Chase looked at the sky and muttered, "Damn," then met her gaze. "For a smart woman, you act incredibly stupid far too often."
She gasped, openmouthed, and he gave her a shove, sending her tumbling backward off the dock and into the water. She burst through the surface, shoving her hair from her face and glaring at him. She struggled to keep afloat in the waterlogged robe, and Chase, the rat, simply sat on the edge of the pier, holding out his hand.
"All you have to do is take it, Tessa. Come to me."
"You hurt me!" she cried. "You scared me!"
"I know, angel," came regretfully. "And now I'm being selfish, so don't come to me because of Christopher. Don't come to me because we're good together and making love with you is like a flash fire. Come to me because I'll die without you." He slipped into the water, paddling out to her. "Be magnanimous and feel sorry for me 'cause I don't want to be a part of your life, even for our son's sake, if I can't have every part of you to love."
Her tears mixed with droplets of water and they stared and stared. Then suddenly Tessa sank under the surface, emerging before him, her body brushing his. Chase gazed into her green eyes, his heart beating so fast he swore it would burst from his chest any second.
"Tessa?"
She wrapped her arms around him and felt him tremble. That he would risk everything for her, to erase all final doubts, made her love him more than she'd thought possible. "Poor, lonely man," she whispered. "Feel sorry for me, Chase. Take pity on me. I couldn't see what I had till it was gone. I feel like such an idiot."
"Stubborn, scared and a little too self-reliant for my ego to take, maybe." The teasing went out of his voice and his expression. "But I was never gone, angel." He smoothed the hair back from her face, his eyes suspiciously bright. "Just waiting."
"Marry me, Chase. Please."
He choked a laugh. "'Bout time you asked, woman. I was running out of ways to get back into your heart."
"You never left." She cupped his face in her hand and shook him a bit. "God, I'm so glad you stuck around, Chase Madison!" He grinned his sappy grin. "I think I knew you would since the day you waited on crabby Miss Dewberry." Her mouth neared, tempting him.
"You could've come around before now," he groused good-naturedly.
She scoffed, denying the kiss. "And blow your supreme confidence bigger than it is? I don't think so."
He laughed, hugging her. "Bothers you, doesn't it? That was right about us."
"No." Her eyes softened and her words warmed his lips. "But you can keep thinking that if it makes you happy."
The petition floated by and Tessa grabbed it, ripping it into pieces as Chase backstroked toward the shore, Tessa lying across his body.
"Let's go home and tell our son."
"Later," he growled, drawing her on the soft shore, immediately covering her body with his. "I want to make certain his momma knows how babies are really made."
She arched a brow, working his cutoffs open. "Making up for lost time?"
"No, angel," he whispered against her lips as he tore at her panties. "Making a lifetime."
"What a wonderful start." The last word came in a breathless rush as Chase filled her, their love flowing around them as they slid sweetly into heaven.
* * *
Epilogue
« ^
Five years later
Chase watched his wife settle to the edge of the dock, her feet in the water. Tessa was still slim after three children, and they'd decided that was all they could handle. All boys. All with energy to spare. Often she told him she wanted a girl just so she wouldn't feel outnumbered. Suddenly she hopped into the water, splashing him, then swimming out to the kids.
"Momma ride!" Their three-year-old begged, arms out, his life jacket making him look like an orange buoy.
Tessa pulled Chance from the boat and onto her back, swimming back to the dock. She gripped the edge. "Somebody's tired." She inclined her head.
"You mean the dad?" Chase asked.
She made a face. "Here, take this lug. God, he's heavy."
Chase grasped Chance and bobbed him in the water. He kicked wildly, then whined. "I'll put him down." Chance's lower lip curled pitifully and Chase sent him a warning glance. "No. Nap first, pal." He looked at her. "How about those guys?"
"In a bit. I want to play."
He chuckled, stood and walked back down the pier, distracting Chance from his inevitable nap by swinging him down between his legs and back up into his arms. The baby squealed and begged for more, and Chase groaned, looking back over his shoulder. Tessa gave him that I-told-you-not-to-wind-him-up look.
"Hey, Mom!" Christopher called, sliding his legs over the edge of the boat. "Race you." He and his brother Casey were the spitting image of their father; only Chance had her green eyes and black hair.
"Sure. To the rope." Chris dropped into the water and swam as if a shark was on his heels. Tessa couldn't catch him if she tried. He grasped the rope and climbed it halfway, waving wildly.
Chase came out of the cabin, sans a child, and she frowned as she swam back to the pier. "My mom," he said, inclining his head to the house.
"Wimped out, huh? You just didn't want to deal with it. You gave him the donuts this morning and let him O.D. on sugar."
"I know, but I get tired of that pouting lip of his. It makes me feel like a creep." He settled beside her and she propped her arms on the floating dock, gazing up at her husband. Christopher yelled for his attention and he gave it, watching his son swing on the rope, then drop into the water.
"God, he's all arms and legs."
"So are you, nice ones."
He looked down at her, a secret smile passing between them. "Think anyone will ever figure out why we bought this place?"
"Do you care?"
She hung onto his legs, hers gently moving to keep herself afloat. Her breasts pushed against the tight black tank suit. His body remembered every moment he'd spent loving her and announced it to the world. She noticed.
"You have that look in your eyes again, Tessa."
"What look?" came with mock innocence.
"The same one when you let me catch you last night."
"I didn't let you catch me."
"Liar." With three boys, their nightly walks were their only uninterrupted time together.
Their children laughed and Chase gazed at them with such overpowering love, Tessa lost her breath. She'd never known a man who could love so much.
"God, I'm glad I found you, angel," he said, then looked down at her.
This man wore his heart on his sleeve, she thought happily. "Well, a certain part of you found me. Three times."
He leaned close, grasping her arms and pulling her from the wat
er. He draped her across his lap as if their entire family weren't watching and getting a good laugh at their expense. "I love you, angel."
"I love you, too." She stroked the side of his face, his mouth nearing hers, a breath away.
"Hey, Dad. Dad! Dad!" Christopher called when he didn't answer in the preferred three seconds.
"Yeah?" Chase didn't look up.
"Quit smooching and come play."
"I am playing, son," Chase said, and laughter erupted around them.
"Daaaad!" Both boys chimed.
Tessa arched a brow and Chase groaned, pressing his forehead to hers. His disappointment was great for her ego.
"There wasn't anything about lack of attention for the dad in those child-rearing books, you know."
Her lips twitched at his sour expression. "They're your sons."
"Convenient for you." His gaze dropped meaningfully to the bulge in his swim trunks. "Now."
"Hey. You wanted to be a dad, Chase Madison."
Clearly the blame was on him and his run to the doughnut store today. And he shouldered it willingly, grinning as he dumped her into the water. She came up sputtering. Christopher and Casey's giggles floated across the water like soft music.
"I should have seen that coming," she muttered, swiping water from her face.
He slid into the water. "I was hoping you'd say that." Chase wrapped his arms around her, letting her feel what she did to him, his gaze telling her their walk would be very long tonight. He wiggled his brows. She laughed and used his body to push off.
"That's if you can catch me," she called, then dived under the water.
Casey clapped. "Get her, Dad! Get her!"