by Joan Kilby
The bottom dropped out of Sienna’s stomach. For a moment she was frozen to her chair, then she surged to her feet. “You have no actual proof,” she protested. “Can’t he take the exam again?”
“I’m afraid not. This was already a makeup test. I understand he missed the first one due to truancy.” The phone rang and she answered it. “All right.” She hung up and rose. “Excuse me a moment. I’ll be right back.”
When she’d left the office, Sienna turned to Oliver. “You know what this means—no medical school. You’ll never be a doctor after this.”
In sullen silence he fiddled with the stud in his lip.
Sienna wanted to slap his hand away, but she reined in her anger, taking a deep breath to regain the calm she needed. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”
“Medical school was your dream for me, not mine. I didn’t want to take the stupid test in the first place.” Oliver crossed his arms over his chest and fixed his gaze on the floor.
Sienna studied him with a stab of guilt. She’d been pressuring him for weeks. Maybe he’d cracked under the strain. Glancing at the door to make sure it was shut, she said in a softer voice, “I know what it’s like to feel expected to perform. Everyone makes mistakes. I won’t think less of you if you just tell me the truth.”
Olly’s swift glance revealed the depth of his hurt and betrayal. “You don’t believe me?”
“I believe you’re capable of passing the test if you’d studied.”
“I didn’t need to study. The questions were easy.”
“That boy saw you looking at his paper.”
“He’s an idiot!” Oliver got to his feet, agitated.
“Your teacher saw you looking around.”
“I finished early. I was bored.”
“There was no working out of the answers on your test.”
“I did them in my head!”
“Keep your voice down.” Sienna glanced at the closed door again. “This is serious. Ms. Dillard will be back any minute.”
But Oliver was too worked up. “I tried because you wanted it so badly. But when I get a high mark, you don’t believe I did it without cheating.” He tried to pace, but two long strides took him to the window overlooking the central courtyard where students were having lunch.
“Oliver, listen to me.” Sienna leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees, hands clasped. “I’ve never told anyone this…” She sucked in a breath. “I cheated on a test once. In grade three.”
“You cheated? No way.”
“It’s true.” Her head dropped. At eight years old, the anxiety of knowing she wasn’t going to get a perfect score when she always got one hundred percent had forced her to take desperate measures.
“When I realized I didn’t know an answer I looked at another girl’s paper.” Sienna twisted her fingers together, flooded even now with guilt and remorse. “The girl told the teacher. My mother and father came down to the school. I’d always been so good and so smart that my parents refused to believe I would cheat. I was afraid of letting them down, so I lied.” Sienna shook her head, feeling her heavy hair sway. “The girl who accused me got in trouble instead. I felt awful. I’ve never been able to forget it. Needless to say, I never cheated again.”
But she’d lied about dinner.
“So because you’re a cheater you think I am, too?” Oliver said disdainfully.
Sienna’s head came up. “I don’t want you to fall into that trap. Or think you have to lie so I’ll be proud of you.”
“No, I just have to do exactly what you want.” Oliver’s lip curled in a sneer. “You always pretend you’re so perfect, but you cheated. Stop acting like you’re better than me—and don’t keep telling me what to do!”
Sienna’s cheeks burned as she gazed straight ahead. She was a liar and a cheat. Oliver would never respect her again. Swallowing, she straightened her shoulders. Today wasn’t about her. She had to stop Oliver from making a huge mistake.
“If you tell Ms. Dillard the truth she might reconsider.”
“I did tell the truth,” Oliver raged. “I don’t want to take it again. I don’t want to go to uni. I don’t want to be a doctor.”
“Oliver, control yourself.”
All of a sudden he calmed down. “Okay, I’ll ‘control’ myself.” He strode past her to the door and opened it. Students were in the corridor between classes. “As soon as I turn sixteen I’m going to quit school.”
Sienna sprang to her feet, hands clenched. “I forbid you!”
“You can’t stop me.” Then he melted into the passing tide of chattering teens.
THE WORKSHOP DOOR OPENED and Jack glanced up from the laptop he’d set up on the workbench, surprised to see Oliver in the middle of a school day. He quickly saved his program. “Hey, Olly. What’s up?”
“Nothin’.” His hands were jammed into his front pockets.
“Shouldn’t you be in school?”
Oliver shuffled his oversize feet, not looking him in the eye. “Got out early.”
“Does your mother know where you are?”
“No!” Oliver flared, his head coming up, his pimples standing out bright red.
“Whoa. What’s the problem?” Jack unplugged the soldering iron and perched on a stool. “Sit down and tell me about it.”
Oliver was too worked up to sit. He paced the big open space between the ultralight aircraft and the workbench, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I’m going to quit school when I’m sixteen. I want to get an apprenticeship.” He turned suddenly. “Can I train with you?”
“I’d happily teach you what I know, Olly. But I don’t have a business for you to learn. If you’re going to do this, you need to do it right and get hired on at a big company. Besides, your mother would have my hide if I said yes.”
Oliver’s chin jutted out. “I’m making my own decisions now. I could start with you, couldn’t I?”
“Tell me what happened,” Jack said. The boy had more crises than the Middle East.
Olly flung himself into a straight-back wooden chair, making the legs scrape across the concrete. “Mum doesn’t believe I didn’t cheat on a test at school.”
Seeing the hurt on Oliver’s young face, Jack felt his own sense of outrage. How could Sienna not trust her own son? “I believe you.”
“Then tell her. She’ll listen to you.”
Outside a car door slammed. Seconds later Sienna marched in, her back stiff and her face white. “Hello, Jack,” she said, barely glancing at him. “I thought I’d find you here,” she said to her son. “Go get in the car.”
“No,” Oliver said.
Sienna’s grip tightened on the shoulder strap of her purse, but she clearly fought to stay calm. “I’ve spoken to your father. Whether you cheated or not is immaterial. The point is, you’re falling behind in school and going off the rails in other ways. Which means I’m… I’m failing you.” Sucking in a breath, she continued. “Anthony and I have agreed. You’re going to go live with him and Erica until you finish grade twelve.”
“But…” Oliver’s mouth fell open.
“There is no discussion,” she said. “You will not be quitting school. You will not be doing an apprenticeship.”
She pointed to the door. Shell-shocked and speechless, Oliver stumbled out, dragging his feet.
Sienna started after him. Jack caught her by the arm. “Maybe this is none of my business—”
“You’re right, it’s not,” she snapped.
“But I care about Olly. He told me what happened. Trust him, back him up.”
“Olly knows I love him even if he makes a mistake. That’s what’s important.” Sienna tugged her arm away from Jack.
“Remember I said being perfect wasn’t at the top of my list of desirable qualities? Loyalty is.” Jack shook his head. “If you love someone you stick by them. Let the math test go. Let him choose the profession he wants to go into.”
“He doesn’t have to do medicine. But he h
as to finish school and go to university.” She looked Jack straight in the eye. “He has the brains—he shouldn’t waste them.”
Anger surged through Jack. “Or what, he’s not good enough for you?”
“He’s my son.”
“Stop trying to control him.” Jack was nose-to-nose with her now, his blood up, and he was glad they were finally having this out. “Stop trying to fulfill your own ambitions through him. You want so badly to be perfect but you’re not, so you try to make everyone around you live up to your impossible standards.”
She jerked as though he’d slapped her. Which meant he’d touched a very sore nerve. “Love Olly for who he is,” Jack urged. “Not for who you want him to be.”
“I do love Olly for who he is.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “That’s why I want him to reach his full potential.”
“Your definition of his potential.”
She dashed away the tears on her cheeks. “I have to do what I think is best for Oliver. If you don’t agree, that’s too bad.”
“Then there’s nothing more to be said.”
“On the contrary. I have more to say.” She stabbed a finger at him. “You’re no one to give my son career advice. You feel guilty because your GPS failed and your wife died. I’m sorry about Leanne. Really sorry. But you can’t move on because you’re too busy punishing yourself. You say you live for pleasure? Ha! If that was true you’d be flying.”
She started to walk away, then spun around. “Yes, success is important to me. But I don’t measure success by how much a person achieves. I measure it by how hard they try. And you’re not trying hard enough. As far as I can see, you’re not trying at all. Maybe I place too many expectations on myself and others, but you have too few.”
Without another word she strode back to her car. The door slammed, the engine revved and gravel spurted from beneath her tires as she drove off.
Jack kicked a fallen offcut across the concrete floor.
“Good riddance.”
The words sounded hollow.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“ARE YOU READY TO GO?” Sienna poked her head inside Oliver’s bedroom. He was lying on his bed surrounded by piles of unpacked clothes, texting on his mobile phone. “Your father’s expecting you. We’re going to be late.”
“I have to tell Jason I’m leaving,” Olly said, his thumbs continuing to fly over the keys.
The landline rang in the kitchen. “Hurry,” Sienna said, and went to answer the phone. It was her mother, Barbara. Sienna was unable to hide her surprise. Her mother was usually too busy at the Mayo Clinic to call except on birthdays or at Christmas. Instinctively Sienna stood straighter, glancing at her reflection in the windows to see if her hair was neat. “How’s Dad? Nothing’s wrong, is there?”
“Everything’s fine,” Barbara said. “I got your email that you were moving. Sorry I haven’t got back to you before now. Where is Summerside? Is it a long commute to City Hospital?”
“I quit the hospital. I’m head of a general practice clinic now.”
“What? You didn’t tell me that.”
“I’m telling you now.”
“Really, Sienna.” Disapproval tinged her mother’s voice. “If you’d stuck it out at the hospital another five years or so you could have been head of orthopedics.”
Sienna pressed two fingers to her temple. No matter what she did, or how well she did it, it was never enough. “I made the move for Olly’s sake.” Tears burned the backs of her eyes. He was upstairs, packing to leave the place she’d moved to for him. “How is Oliver? I hope you didn’t take him out of Wesley College and enroll him in a local public school.”
“The train line runs right past the Wesley.” Sienna could just imagine what her mother would say about Olly’s plan to drop out of school entirely. But why give any more information than she had to? Once Oliver was living at Anthony’s, he would go back to his old private school, temporarily at least.
“Are you coming back to Australia for Christmas?” Sienna asked. “I have plenty of room, and Summerside is lovely in summer.”
“I’d like to, but we may have to work through the holiday,” Barbara said. “I’ll let you know. I’d better go. Your father sends his love.”
“Is he there?” Sienna asked. “Can I talk to him?”
“We’re on our way out the door. Maybe next time.”
Sienna suppressed a sigh. “I’m in a rush, too. Bye, Mum.”
In the car Oliver sat in stony silence for the first half hour. Then he said, “Erica’s sick and she’s having a baby. She won’t want me there.”
“Erica’s fine with whatever your father wants. Your dad wants you with him. He feels bad about canceling the ski trip.” It felt as if she was reciting something in a book—not quite real. “You want me gone.”
“No, I—” Sienna stopped. No more lies. No more pretending. “I just think you need to take a step back, think about who you are and where you’re going. You didn’t have crazy ideas about quitting school when you were living in the city and attending Wesley College.”
“Robotics isn’t a crazy idea. Maybe I’m just finding out who I am because I’m older now.”
Sienna didn’t want their last conversation for a while to be an argument, so she let a beat go by and then changed the subject. “It’ll be fun when the baby comes home.”
“Oh, yeah, a laugh a minute.” Oliver turned and gazed out his side window.
Sienna glanced at his profile—shut down—then at the blue waters of the bay, visible between the town houses flashing by on the beach side of the highway. She wondered if Jack was kayaking today or if he was getting the Men’s Shed rolling.
Tears blurred her vision, and the car in front of theirs smeared into red and silver streaks. Furiously she blinked them away. She was only trying to do what was right for her son. Someday he would realize that. It didn’t matter what Jack thought anymore.
Oliver seemed as lost in his own thoughts as she was and the miles ticked away until she was pulling up in front of Anthony’s apartment building. She rang his mobile. “We’re here. Could you come down and give us a hand with Oliver’s bags?”
“I’m at the hospital.” Anthony sounded harried.
“Did something come up?” Sienna glanced at Olly, afraid he’d take this as a sign his dad wasn’t interested in him.
“Sorry, I should have called. Erica was induced this afternoon. She had the baby.”
“Is she all right? Is the baby okay?” At the thought of a preemie her maternal instincts won out over jealousy.
“Erica’s doing fine, considering. Tamara’s in a humidicrib, but she’s breathing on her own.” His voice was filled with pride. “Why don’t you and Oliver come here? You can see Erica and the baby, then Olly can go home with me.”
“Uh…” Excuses ran through her mind. But her last encounter with Jack had left her feeling mean-spirited. She would like to think she was capable of more generosity. “We’ll be there shortly.”
“Wonderful.” The genuine pleasure in Anthony’s voice made her glad she’d said yes. When all was said and done he was still the father of her child.
Twenty minutes later, standing outside Erica’s hospital room, Sienna felt her doubts come rushing back. She wasn’t sure she could face the woman who’d betrayed her friendship. If she couldn’t be sincerely happy for Erica she had no business being here.
“Are we just going to stand out here in the hall?” Oliver asked, shuffling in his size-twelve sneakers. “I want to get this over with.”
“You go in,” Sienna said. “I’m going to the nursery.”
Anthony poked his head out the door. “I thought I heard your voices.” He gave Sienna a peck on the cheek and Oliver a quick hug. Then he was ushering them inside the ward before Sienna could utter a word of protest. “Look who’s here, Erica.”
“I really can’t stay—” Sienna broke off.
Erica’s eyes were closed, her face puffy with edema. Dark skin below he
r eyes gave her a bruised appearance. She was hooked up to an IV and a catheter. An oxygen monitor was clipped to her right index finger. Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled weakly. “Thanks for coming.”
Sienna managed to nod. She picked Erica’s chart off the end of the bed and scanned it, giving herself time to adjust. Erica’s blood pressure was elevated and there was protein in her urine. She was still very ill.
“Say hello, Oliver,” Anthony prompted.
Oliver grunted something that sounded like a greeting, then retreated to a chair beside the window.
Sienna approached the bed, not sure what to say.
“Anthony, why don’t you take Oliver to the nursery to see Tamara?” Erica suggested.
Panic fluttered through Sienna as Anthony and Oliver left the room. The silence between Sienna and Erica grew and grew, until Sienna felt crushed by the weight of everything they weren’t saying.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Erica said at last. “Anthony and I.”
“Don’t talk about that now,” Sienna said quickly, not wanting to talk about it ever. “You’re ill.”
“I need to say it. We were friends once and I owe you that much.” Erica paused to catch her breath. “If I die—”
“You’re not going to die,” Sienna said automatically, though she knew it was a possibility. As a doctor she was used to dealing with reality. But suddenly it was terrifying to think that Erica, a new mother, could actually pass away.
She lowered herself into the chair beside the bed, twisting her hands together. “Go on if you want to.”
“There’s nothing to say, really. I’m just sorry.”
“Sorry you broke up my marriage?” Sienna heard the words come from her lips, harsh and unforgiving. How was it possible for compassion to exist alongside anger?
“At first we just talked. He wasn’t happy.”
“So what if he was unhappy?” Sienna demanded fiercely. “You could have told him to go home and sort things out with his wife. If he was that unhappy he should have talked to me.”
Erica’s gaze sharpened. “He said he tried. You were never available.”