“Daryl, I’ve got some big shit happening,” he glances over his shoulders, stepping forward until there’s only a foot left between us. “Some shit that people like her ain’t gonna be too happy with,” he raises his eyebrows as if he’s talking in code and I should catch his drift.
“And what’s that got to do with me?” I shrug my shoulders, looking on to my bike. It’s like the only thing stopping me from getting back to Jessie is the space between me and my ride, and I wish I could just teleport away from my brother to go back to the happiest place I’ve ever been, in Jessie’s arms.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s it got to do with you’?” Caleb yells, he’s infuriated now. He’s always forced me to be involved with everything he’s got going on, whether I want to or not. I’ve never been that way, but he’s much more controlling than me.
“You may not be a Marauder, but you are a Hayes! You’re my brother, and if I tell you it’s a war, you better pick the right side,” he cocks his head in a threatening manner.
“Caleb, there’s not a fucking war,” I bite out, frustration bubbling in my throat.
“If I say there’s a war, there’s a war, Daryl! And I’m telling you a fucking war is about to go down!” He’s yelling so loud people are turning to look at us. Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. Caleb has always enjoyed any type of attention – good or bad never made a difference. I prefer to go unnoticed at all, so this interaction is growing unbearable.
“Alright, Caleb,” I nod, trying to just end the conversation, but he’s not having it.
“No, don’t ‘Alright, Caleb’ me. I’m telling you what it is, and I want to know where you stand,” he roars, crossing his arms in defiance.
“What does that even mean?” I ask, exasperated by his immature antics.
“It means it’s me or her.” He declares bluntly and I gasp at his absurdity.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” I mutter, walking off, but he grabs my forearm before I can leave.
“That’s what it is? You’re choosing this girl over your own flesh and blood?” He barks.
“You’re serious?” I blurt, unwilling to believe his rant has any merit.
“As a heart attack! Choose, Daryl. Right here, right now!” He demands and I grit my teeth in frustration.
Every time I feel an ounce of freedom he always finds a way to ruin it for me. Honestly, I shouldn’t even be shocked, he’s done this my whole life, but that doesn’t dull the pain in my stomach as I look up to meet his red glare.
“Fine, Caleb. I’ll cut it off,” I assure him, looking away, unable to stomach the look of accomplishment in his eyes.
“I mean, over for real, Daryl. You can’t even be seen with her,” he clarifies and I shoot him a look that lets him know he needs to shut his mouth.
I’ve already agreed to stop seeing the girl, and although he might not know how strongly I feel for her, he knows it’s difficult for me. Part of me thinks it may even be the reason he’s doing it, but she did have the altercation with him at Donna’s so I know there’s a truth to his feelings.
“I’ll see you later,” I grumble as I walk off.
“Alright, baby bro! I’ll see you at the shop!” He calls after me, and I clench my jaw to stop from charging him with all my strength.
Passing a trash can, I throw the orange juice and sunflowers into the container so hard they split apart, and hop on my bike before speeding out of the parking lot.
There’s no easy way to break the news to Jessie, but I know I have to let her know. By the time I make my way to her street, I realize I don’t know what to say to her, and decide it best to not say anything at all. We’ll have to see each other at some point, and hopefully by then she’ll have forgiven me for mucking up yet another perfect opportunity.
Chapter Thirteen
JESSIE
The sun shining through my window wakes me from a deep slumber, as I glance around my room with a deep rooted confusion for a pregnant moment. It takes a few long blinks for me to remember my new bedroom, and feel at home before everything from the previous night rushes back to me. Reaching over, I feel a shy curiosity when I realize Daryl’s left the bed, my sheets still a bit damp from our passionate evening.
Tip toeing to the bathroom I wash up quickly before heading downstairs. My smile fades when I turn the corner to the living room and don’t find him sitting on the sofa. He’s not in the kitchen either, and after glancing out the front window, I notice his motorcycle isn’t where he parked it last night.
It seems very unlike him to sneak off like a thief in the night, he was so gentle last night and I remember feeling like everything was perfect before drifting off to sleep. What could have happened between then and now for him to just disappear without so much as a goodbye note?
My mind races trying to pick through every detail to figure out how I could have drove him away, but I’m left with nothing. There’s no way him holding me so tightly could have led to his disappearance, it just doesn’t make any sense.
Deciding it’s best, I choose to spend the day running errand in an attempt to clear my brain, but nothing can ease my thoughts as I make my way through Danville. Everything in the city reminds me of Daryl, because he introduced me to the community I’ve grown to love so much.
After refilling a prescription for my allergy medication at the pharmacy, dropping off a form at the bank, and filling my Jeep with groceries, I decide I’ve done everything necessary to prepare for the upcoming week, and head back to the place I know is now tainted with memories – home.
My phone vibrates in my purse just before I start the engine to drive home. Digging through my purse I look at the caller ID to see it’s my best friend calling. A feeling of dread feels me, realizing I was hoping it was Daryl, but also I’m excited because I need my best friend now more than ever.
“Hey, Lindsay!” I sing into the phone, answering on the second ring.
“Best friend! What are you doing?” She screams, always so excited when we get on the phone. Texting never feels like enough for us.
“Just finishing some errands. What are you up to?” I ask.
“Getting ready for the week. How was your weekend? Go cow-tipping for a thrill?” She teases and we both giggle.
“I don’t know where you get this stuff,” I sigh, starting my engine before pulling out of the parking lot.
“You were supposed to call me after your date with Mr. Perfect,” she gripes, and all the emotions I’d been pushing down bubble over.
“Oh yeah,” I begin, my voice dragging.
“What’s wrong?” She picks up on the sadness in my tone.
“Oh, nothing,” I lie, not sure if I’m ready to tell her what’s happened.
“Don’t lie, Jessie. You’re shit at it. Go ahead and spill it, I don’t want to spend twenty minutes pulling it out of you,” she reasons.
“Oh, you’ve just got me figured out, huh?” I joke and she laughs a knowing laugh. She definitely does have me all figured out, and I guess that’s why I answered her call. I wanted to tell her what happened.
“Spill it.” She insists and I take a deep breath as I turn onto Main Street.
“Okay. So, he came to pick me up, it was a perfect date – we went to all these different places and he kind of gave me a history lesson of Danville. It was super sweet, we ended it at this small college. It was the first… something,” I struggle to remember what Daryl taught me just a day ago.
“So another perfect day with the perfect guy,” she sighs sarcastically.
“We were sitting under a tree on the campus, I’m looking at him all dreamy eyed, and I feel like he’s looking the same,” I recall our date yesterday.
“Mm Hmm…” Lindsay listens along.
“I really thought he was going to kiss me, but he doesn’t and I was so disappointed I kind of threw a fit,” I admit.
“Oh
my gosh! You’re such an only child!” She teases me for my spoiled tactics.
“Yeah, it was bad. I asked him if he had a girlfriend or something,” I shake my head remembering just how awful I behaved as I make a short detour to drive past Hayes Auto Repair, although I’m not sure what I’ll do if I see Daryl.
“Did he tell you, ‘Yes, her name is Jessie Carter’?” She mocks a masculine voice as best she can.
“He legit just laughed at me,” I wait for her response, but there isn’t one so I continue.
“Then I’m about to walk in my house and he grabs me and just kisses me in one of those movie kisses. Like, wind knocked out of me, world stops spinning, butterflies in the belly, kisses.” I try to explain how intense our first embrace was.
“Oh gosh! Are you trying to convince me to move out there?” She jokes.
“Just keep listening,” I warn her, knowing the next part is anything but ideal.
“He went to leave and I just pulled him. Lindsay, I wanted him so bad, I practically jumped his bones!” I shriek, giggles bubbling in my chest.
“You did not!” She squeals and we both laugh.
“And it was amazing. I won’t go into details, but Lindsay – Ah-Maze-Ing!” I yell, glancing over as I drive by the repair shop, but I don’t spot Daryl’ bike or see any sign of him.
“So where’s the bad side to this story?” She quips.
“I wake up, and he’s just gone. Like, no sign of him. No note, no text, no call, nothing.” I feel a lump in my throat as I reveal what’s really bothering me to my best friend.
“Maybe he just had somewhere to go,” she reasons, but we both know that’s not the case.
“Really, Lindsay? Where could he have to go that doesn’t have cell service? Mars?!” I yell and she bursts into giggles before regaining her composure.
“That’s just strange, Jess. There’s a part of the story we don’t have. I don’t know if you’re misreading something, or if it just has nothing to do with you, but this doesn’t add up,” she fades out as if she’s trying to connect the dots.
“No, it’s completely bizarre. All day I’ve been looking at my phone expecting to hear from him, but nothing! He usually texts me every morning. We sleep together, and then he just cuts all communication?” I ask myself more than her.
“Well, don’t get all dramatic, Jess. It’s only been a couple of hours. Maybe you just put it on him and now he’s trying to recuperate,” she teases, in that way she does to make a serious situation seem lighthearted.
“Or maybe he’s just a dirtbag that wanted to get in my pants this whole time,” I sneer, my embarrassment morphing into anger.
“Oh, come on, Jessie! We both know that wasn’t the case. Dirtbags don’t take girls on the dates he took you on. They don’t win you teddy bears at the fair, or hold your hand walking down the street. There’s definitely something there. Don’t go putting up your defense armor before figuring out the whole story.” She tries to calm me down, but its not working.
“I don’t know Lindsay, it seems pretty black and white to me,” I argue.
There’s a long silence between us. Lindsay is probably trying to think of some witty pun, or a reasonable explanation for Daryl’s behavior. And I’m racking my brain to understand what would make him desert me in the middle of the night. The sun is setting as I pull into my driveway, and still I’ve heard nothing from him all day.
“I don’t know, Jess, but I’m sorry it’s going down like this,” Lindsay finally breaks the silence, and her seriousness triggers the real emotion in my chest – hurt.
“You know you don’t deserve this, and you can’t let it change everything about your move. You really like it out there, with or without Daryl. But remember, you can always come home, even if it’s just for a visit,” the sincerity and concern in her voice makes me homesick for the first time since I left California, and a single tear falls down my cheek as I sit in my driveway.
“I’ll be okay,” I assure her, but I know she can sense my sadness through my feign of strength.
“Of course you will,” she encourages me and we end the call so I can carry my groceries inside.
A loud roar sounds at the end of my block as I carry my last load of groceries, and my heart skips a beat in anticipation that it could be Daryl, but soon enough a graying older man riding a Harley drives right passed my house, and my shoulders sink as I head inside.
It’s not until later in the evening, after I’ve prepared for bed, when less reasonable theories begin to cross my mind. I even begin to consider the fact that I made the entire night up, maybe it never even happened, it was just a figment of my imagination. Only the soreness between my legs guarantees that I didn’t spend the night alone.
Then I begin to consider the possibility that I’m looking at this from a completely selfish point of view. What if Daryl was injured, maybe in an accident on his bike? This whole time I’ve been worried about me, but what if something happened to him?
Racing for my phone, I quickly dial his number, pacing my room as the phone rings, but he doesn’t answer. Ending the call I contemplate if that’s a good or bad sign. If he was hurt, he wouldn’t be able to answer, but I don’t want him to be hurt, I also don’t want him to just be ignoring me.
Deciding I should have left a message, I call right back, knowing it could look pretty desperate. This time it only rings twice before going to voice mail, and I know he’s denied my call. My stomach drops and I end the call, opting to not leave a message after all.
Sleep evades me all night, as I struggle with understanding what went wrong with Daryl, but nothing I can think of makes sense. It would be so much easier if I could just hate him, but I can’t and I even find myself rolling over to where he slept to smell his scent, after refusing to wash my sheets of his aroma.
I know last night was real, it meant something. Could that have been too much for him? I felt like he wanted it too, but maybe I rushed him into something he wasn’t ready for. He could’ve thought I’d want a serious relationship afterwards, and if I’m completely honest, I did. But at this point I’d settle for just a conversation, anything but this.
As the moon lights the sky I feel my mind slowing as the theories float through my subconscious and I find solace in the reality that I may never know what went through Daryl’s mind after our night together.
The truth is, I can’t control him or his thoughts, only mine. And Lindsay was right, this move isn’t about Daryl, it never was. I do like Danville, and he helped me fall in love with my new town, so for that I’m grateful. Maybe that’s the only purpose of him walking into my life, and I decide to just accept whatever outcome I get, without discounting the experience or losing my love for the city.
My fresh start is still happening, and Daryl can’t change that. I fall asleep on a damp pillow after releasing the hurt and sadness, hoping to wake up refreshed and anew to begin the next phase of my new chapter. Although, I must confess, I slept with my ringer on hoping to be awoken by a late night call, but I wasn’t. He never called or texted, and the next day I went to work like nothing every happened, and to everyone around me, that was the truth.
Chapter Fourteen
JESSIE
“Meeting in five,” Captain McCall announces as I stroll into work. I nod and smile, heading to make a cup of coffee before beginning what’s sure to be a slow Friday.
It’s been three weeks since my night with Daryl, and I haven’t heard from him since. To my surprise, I haven’t run into him once, I guess Danville isn’t as small of a town as I thought it was. Of course I’ve head weak moments where I’ve wanted to reach out to him and beg for an explanation, as well as angry instances when I’ve wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but my pride has stopped me on every occasion.
Once I did see him pulling into the grocery store as I was pulling out of the parking lot. I don’t think he noticed me, and I surely didn’t stop to ask
how he’s been. He’s always working at the repair shop when Earl and I handle our patrols, but I’ve never had to interact with him, which is good I guess.
My co-workers have turned into my new family, and when I’m not working I’ve spent most of my time trying new hobbies and exploring Danville and neighboring cities on my own. I’ve taken a trip to Louisville, and was quite impressed with the Muhammad Ali museum.
“Let’s go!” captain announces and we all huddle into his office in our normal seats, everyone sipping from their mug as Captain begins.
“So you all are already informed about what’s going on. Earl and Jessie, you two were off las night, so I’ve gotta fill you in. There was a brawl last night,” he begins looking over to Cole who is about ready to jump out of his seat with excitement.
“I told you guys, shit is hitting the fan! The Marauders are looking for some new territory and stepped on a few toes. At first they were small fish, but something pissed off a crew from Louisville and it was not pretty. Jane Town was like a battle ground last night! If Captain wouldn’t have got there in time, we would’ve had to call back-up,” he explains out of breath.
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t call me,” Earl gripes, his lips pierced together.
“Or me!” I add, confused about why they didn’t reach out to us.
“I wanted to call the back up right away! I only called Captain for approval, but he said not to make any moves or calls, and he came and cleared it up,” Jed explains, but I can tell Earl is still upset and so am I.
Here I was thinking this was going to be a slow day, but it’s actually the most eventful yet. Cole has been warning us about the growing tension and danger of the Marauders, and it seems all of his speculation was validated last night.
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