All Is Fair

by Dee Garretson

  “Aachen is in Germany, isn’t it?” Lucas asked.

  “It’s right across the border.”

  “There isn’t a timetable?” I asked, thinking of how hard it would be to find a place to hide for an extra day.

  “Not for freight trains in wartime. The Germans run the trains when they need them.” She opened her bag and took out a bundle of something wrapped in a piece of cloth and tied with a string. “Take this. If anyone stops you and asks what you are doing, tell them you’re trying to sell your grandmother’s lace. There is lace in here, if anyone looks. It is beautiful lace. My sister made it before the war.” I took the bundle, wishing I could pay the woman for it. It was no small gift.

  The woman continued, “When the train stops, climb up near the end of the train, but not between the last two cars, because there might be a guard on the rear car. Once you pull into Aachen, get off on the left side as you face toward the front of the train.”

  “What then?” I didn’t like the idea of getting off at a train station full of German soldiers.

  “There is an old man who sells something at the station. I wasn’t told what. You’ll need to figure it out. Buy whatever he is selling, and pay him too much. He’ll know what to do then. Now I have to get back.” She pointed at the ribbon in my buttonhole. “Don’t forget to take those off when you get to Germany. It’s only for Belgium. I wish you Godspeed.”

  An old man who sells something? That was too vague. I realized my head was aching and all the muscles in my jaw were so tight that I must have been clenching my teeth. I didn’t want to let the woman leave. Once she left, we’d be on our own again. “Wait. Before you go, can I ask a question?”

  “You can, but I may not answer. We live in an age when questions can be dangerous.”

  “Are you the White Lady we keep hearing about?”

  “No, dear, I’m not the White Lady, though I’m delighted you think an old crone like me would be someone so special. The White Lady is an old legend, a specter who appears to members of the Hohenzollern family to herald the end of the dynasty.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “People talk as if she’s a real person.”

  “We’ve taken her name to inspire us. She’s not a real person, but she lives inside us.” The woman made a fist and put it on her chest. “We who are trying to get our country back want to be like the White Lady. We may be ghostly in our appearances, but we will cause the downfall of the occupiers. No matter what it takes.” Her voice had turned fierce.

  “I think you will,” I said. “Thank you for your help.”

  “No need to thank me. We do what we must.” She turned to go.

  “Your family back at the house—they’ll be all right, won’t they? Our being there won’t get them in trouble, will it?”

  The woman looked at me for a long moment. “We will carry on,” she said, and then walked away briskly, as if just out on an errand.

  “What do you think she meant?” I asked Lucas. “They’ll be all right because the officials didn’t find us there, right?”

  “We should go on,” Lucas said. “Here, let me put the lace in the rucksack so you don’t have to carry it.”

  He took the revolver out and stuck it in his belt before he put the lace in. I felt a chill at the sight of the gun. I knew if he actually had to use it, our situation would be desperate at that point.

  I forced myself to move. It was hard to take the first step, knowing that each step would take us farther into enemy territory. I tried not to think of anything but where I was putting my feet. It was very dark, but we could just see the train rails.

  “They’re brave people,” Lucas said. “I feel like they’ve put their lives in danger for us when we are doomed to failure.”

  I stopped, shocked by his words. I had never expected him to sound so discouraged. “How can you say that? We aren’t going to fail. We’ve come so far already.”

  “The more I think about it, the more I don’t believe my father can be convinced to leave Germany. He signed the Manifesto of the Ninety-Three.” He sighed. “The British should have realized it’s a clear signal he has no intention of leaving Germany.”

  “I don’t understand. What manifesto?”

  “All these important scientists and scholars signed a document saying they supported Germany in all her military actions, military actions they say Germany had to take because of the aggression of other countries.”

  “Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Germany is the aggressor.”

  “We know that, but ordinary Germans don’t seem to know it. And even supposedly brilliant scientists don’t seem to know it. Andrew told me there was so much propaganda put out to the German people that they actually thought Britain would side with them against Serbia when the war started.”

  I tried to comprehend how two groups of people could see things so differently. “Maybe he was forced to sign it.”

  “Maybe. But he is an important man in Germany. He likes that. People call him Herr Doctor Professor Mueller and ask his opinions on everything. When I was visiting, I saw his reaction to someone who didn’t treat him with what he thought was the proper respect. He was furious. If he hasn’t cared enough to come see me all these years, why would I have any influence over him? He loves his country more than…” Lucas’s voice trailed off. “I shouldn’t have agreed to come.”

  “But you did. You must have hoped it would work. Otherwise why did you come this far?”

  When he spoke again, his voice was harsh. “Because it’s my duty, and once I’ve done my duty, I want to be done with him. He’s listed as my father on my birth certificate, but that doesn’t mean much. If Andrew hadn’t come to see me, I’d have been perfectly content never to think of him again. And how could I say no? Andrew told me it was a vital mission. With America in the war, I have to do my part.”

  A sharp crack of a stick sounded off to the side. We stopped. I felt my muscles tense.

  “Halt!” someone shouted in German.

  Lucas pulled me behind a tree. A weak light played over the place where we had just been standing and then we heard the sound of someone moving slowly toward us.

  “I know you are there,” the voice called out. “I will shoot if you don’t come out.”

  “Stay here,” Lucas whispered. Before I could protest, he dropped the rucksack, stood up and said “wait” in German, then moved out into the open.

  I didn’t know what to do. I inched forward enough that I could see. A soldier had a rifle with a bayonet pointed at Lucas and was motioning for Lucas to put his hands above his head. “Show me your papers!” the man shouted.

  Lucas obviously understood this because he took out the forged identification. I held my breath, hoping the man wouldn’t find anything suspicious about it. I felt a little better knowing that Lucas had the revolver with him, but I also feared a shot would draw too much attention to us. The last thing we needed were more soldiers here.

  “What are you doing here so late at night?” the soldier demanded.

  Lucas didn’t answer. I feared there had been something in the sentence he hadn’t understood. I had to do something. Thinking about how the old woman had dealt with the soldier earlier gave me an idea. I grabbed the rucksack and put it up under my skirt.

  With one hand on it so it wouldn’t fall out, I called out in French, “Don’t shoot me!” and then emerged from behind the tree.

  “Who are you?” The soldier swung the bayonet in my direction, looking as scared as I felt. He was extremely young and reminded me of the driver in Dover, Sergeant Smyth, right down to the wispy mustache. His uniform was far too big for him, and I could see his hands were shaking as he held the bayonet.

  Knowing I needed to make sure he understood, I decided to speak in German. Making my voice sound close to hysterical, I said, “Please, let us go! My brother doesn’t have all his wits about him and I’m about to have a baby! He is taking me to a midwife. The baby is coming soon, I can feel it! Can you
help me? I’m afraid I’ll have it right here!” I moaned to give authenticity to my story. Lucas just stood there, so dumbfounded that I hoped the soldier would believe he really was simple.

  The soldier seemed almost as dumbfounded. A sharp scent of sweat emanated off him, and his forehead was beaded with it. I wondered if he’d ever stumbled upon anyone on patrol before. He stared at me, like he couldn’t believe I was real. “Where do you come from?” he asked.

  I didn’t know what to say. I knew no names of towns anywhere nearby. “A farm near here,” I said. “Please, let us go.” I gave out what I hoped sounded like the cry of pain of a woman in labor. The soldier looked horror-stricken. All his attention was focused on me. I saw Lucas nod in my direction, but I didn’t know what he wanted me to do, so I moaned again, this time louder, and acted like I was going to collapse. The soldier took a step forward.

  Instantly, Lucas had the revolver out, swinging the grip at the soldier’s head before the man could react. The butt of the gun hit the man in the temple with a dull thud, and both Lucas and the soldier crashed to the ground, the rifle and its bayonet between them. I ran forward, unable to see if Lucas was hurt, but he was on his feet before I reached them.

  “Come on,” he said, reaching down and picking up the rifle. He tossed it away. “We have to get out of here. He’ll only be out for a few seconds.”

  A man called out in German from nearby, “Reiner, where are you?”

  We plunged right back into the woods, though it was nearly impossible to see. I could hear branches breaking behind us and then the same man’s voice. “He’s here. Someone has knocked him out.” I pulled Lucas to a stop. “They won’t know which way we went,” I whispered in his ear. “We should be quiet so they don’t figure it out.”

  He nodded. We clung to each other while we listened. I heard more voices. “Can you understand what they are saying?” Lucas whispered.

  “No, they aren’t talking loudly enough. I think we should move, but as quietly as we can.”

  I realized I had no idea where the railway tracks were. I had been too busy trying to dodge trees and stay on my feet to pay attention. “You lead,” I said.

  “I think it’s this way.”

  It took us several minutes. There was a bad moment when we had to stop at the noise of something moving through the trees near us. “It doesn’t sound like a person,” I whispered. “It’s probably an animal.” Whatever it was moved away and we continued on our way. When we came out into the open and saw the tracks again, I grabbed hold of Lucas and ran, pulling him after me as if someone or something would reach out from the trees and drag us back in.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’m just glad to be out of the forest.” I looked back over my shoulder, afraid I’d see something or someone coming out of the woods. “Let’s keep moving.”

  “That was a close one,” Lucas said as we walked along. “How did you come up with the idea to pretend to be having a baby?”

  “The midwife gave me the idea. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “It was perfect. He was terrified when he thought you might have a baby right there. I might have believed you if I hadn’t known better. You’re a good actress.” He raised his head. “I think I see the water tower.”

  It was up ahead of us, a blacker silhouette against the already dark sky. We walked up to it and looked around. There was nothing to see but more tracks and more woods. “We can’t just stand here for hours,” I said.

  “You’re right. We need to move back, because it’s the engine that will stop here. If we need to climb onto a car at the rear, it will be back the way we came.”

  We walked back to where we estimated might be a good place to wait. “We don’t really have any idea how long the train will be,” I said. “This might not be the right spot. I have no idea how many cars a German coal train has.”

  “There should be enough time for us to get to where we need to go. I hope we don’t have long to wait.” Almost immediately, I caught the distant rumble of a train. We moved farther away from the track, going just into the fringes of the forest so we couldn’t be seen.

  “Remember, it might not be the right kind of train,” Lucas warned. “We don’t want to run out and find ourselves trying to climb on a troop train.” I shuddered. After our one encounter with the young German soldier, I didn’t want to run into any others.

  The sound of the train grew louder and we could feel the ground shaking beneath us. I could feel Lucas close by, restless in his movements. The train slowed, its wheels screeching. The engine went past and we could see the engineer and the fireman, then the tender, then the first car. It was a coal train, car after car of it. As it slowed to a stop, I realized we were still too far forward. Lucas did too, and the two of us ran toward the back of the train. There was no caboose, which meant no guards. That was a piece of luck.

  “Here,” Lucas said, pointing at the third car from the end. “You climb up. I’ll be right behind you.” He pointed at the ladder. I scrambled up on the coupling, then stepped onto the first rung of the ladder. I wanted to say I was scared, because I was terrified, but I didn’t want Lucas to know.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  I tried to keep my voice even. “Yes,” I said as I climbed up higher to make room for him. He came up behind me so that his head was just below mine and his arms were on either side of me as he got ahold on a rung.

  Even with Lucas so close to me, the next three hours were some of the worst of my life. I could never have imagined that riding on a train ladder would be so terrible. Within a few minutes, my hands were already tired of grasping the rungs. The metal felt slick and greasy under my fingers. I tried to adjust my hold, wrapping my arms all the way around the ladder to take some of the strain off my hands. My feet soon developed muscle cramps from perching on the narrow rung.

  I lost all sense of time, but knowing I had a long time to go made it worse. I had never realized how hard it was to just stand still, holding on. There was a steady stream of fine coal dust blowing off the open cars, and I could taste it with every breath, my eyes watering constantly from the tiny bits that blew into them.

  Eventually, I began to fantasize about just jumping off every time the train slowed, thinking I could give myself a few minutes to run along beside it and then climb back up before it sped up too much. I knew Lucas wouldn’t let me do it even if I begged, however, so I didn’t try. After that I tried counting the sounds the wheels made as they went around each time, but stopped when I reached two thousand. We passed through many small villages, but the train didn’t slow, and the dark cottages came and went like parts of a fast-moving dream.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t stand it any longer, the train crossed a bridge and I could see the river far below. I felt a surge of hope that it was the one running through Aachen. The train passed over it and then slowed slightly. Soon enough, buildings began to appear on either side of the tracks and the train whistle sounded. I wiggled my toes as much as I could within the confines of my shoes, hoping my feet would work so I could climb down the ladder. The train came to a stop.

  I tried to climb down, but my muscles were so stiff, I fell. Lucas was there to catch me. “Mina!” He put his arms around me and swung me away from the train, pulling me close. He hugged me, his lips brushing my hair. “Are you all right?”

  “I think so. My feet are so stiff.”

  He picked me up and carried me away from the train, back behind one of the train sheds, and set me down.

  “I wish I didn’t have to ever stand up again,” I said, wiggling my toes and stretching my legs. I unlaced my shoes and pulled them off. “I used to like trains. I’m not sure I do now.” I wiggled my toes some more.

  “It would be nice to go on a real train ride again with you,” Lucas said. “You could keep me entertained by yelling out the window whenever you felt like it.”

  I felt my ears getting warm, but I also felt a little bubble of
happiness inside. “And how would you entertain me? It would only be fair if you did something too.”

  “Oh, I know exactly what I’d do,” he said, moving closer to me. His expression was one I couldn’t read. It was so focused on me that it made me shiver, but not from cold. “First, I’d close the curtains,” he said, his voice growing softer as my heart beat faster, “to shut out the rest of the world.” He put his hands on either side of my face and whispered, “And then I’d do this.” He kissed me, and every bit of me went weak.

  This time it was some voices on the other side of the building that brought us to our senses. I pulled away from him, feeling disoriented, like I was waking up from a heavy sleep. Lucas looked as if he felt the same way.

  What were we doing? We shouldn’t be kissing. There were people all around us who wouldn’t hesitate to arrest us if they found out who we were. I couldn’t let myself forget that, as much as I wanted to. And then I looked at Lucas and remembered Andrew’s words: If a moment of happiness is within your grasp, take it.

  I’d had my moment of happiness, and if I wanted more moments, we needed to move.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY

  IT WAS TIME to hunt for the old man. I reached for one of my shoes, giving my toes one last stretch. “The longer we stay in one spot, the more likely it is that someone will see us and get suspicious. And the sooner we find the old man, figure out where we are going, and get there, the sooner I can take off my shoes again.”

  “I don’t think we should go together,” Lucas said. “You stay here and I’ll go look for him.”

  I stood up. “Don’t be ridiculous. Remember your one problem? You don’t speak German. I’ll go and you stay here.”

  “I speak enough to point at something and hold up fingers to show how many I want. I can say thank you.”

  “I’ll go,” I said. “That way if a soldier stops me, I’ll be able to talk to him.”

  After only a little more arguing, Lucas gave in. “All right. I don’t like it, but it makes the most sense.” He opened the rucksack. “There’s money in here.”