by Shauna Allen
He eventually drew back, his forehead pressed to mine. “Get in the car. I’m taking you home, then we need to talk.”
I swallowed. “About what?”
“Everything.”
He stepped away and opened my door, effectively ending the conversation for the time being.
I slid inside and as soon as he got in and drove away, he grabbed my hand. I glanced over at his profile. Something in him had changed tonight. I had no idea what it was, but I could feel it in the air.
My gaze tracked down his strong cheek, his throat and shoulder, chest and legs . . . that’s when I noticed the blood. Lots of it.
I gasped. “Tanner . . .”
His eyes flew to mine.
I pointed. “Are you hurt?”
He looked down, his eyes puzzled. “Oh . . . no. That’s Bubba’s.” He seemed to realize what a mess he was for the first time, drawing his hand back to rake it through his hair.
“Oh . . . oh. I’m so sorry. Is he all right?” I yanked his hand back and kissed his knuckles, ignoring the dirt or blood or whatever else the night had done to him.
He shot me a glance, his heart in his eyes, making my own heart melt in my chest. “He’s in surgery now. The doctor said he’ll be out of commission for a while and will need some therapy, but he’ll be fine.”
“I’m glad.” I blinked back hot tears as the impact of what all these men had gone through on my behalf settled on my shoulders. It was just . . . too much.
Tanner seemed to sense my spiraling emotions. “Hey.” He waited until I looked over. “He’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry. Okay?”
I bit my lip and nodded.
Thankfully, we got back to my house and Mrs. Clancy and my grandfather were waiting for us on the front porch. I flew out of the car and up the steps to hug him.
He collected me close, soothing me with his familiar scents of Old Spice and peppermint. “Oh, sweet girl. It’s all right.” He patted my back as I wilted. “Your young man took good care of you just like I knew he would.”
I drew back and looked into his eyes. “He’s not . . .”
Tanner clomped up the steps. “Hey, James.”
“Tanner.” Grandpa smiled up at him. “Thank you for bringing my girl home safe.”
“Of course.”
Mrs. Clancy ushered us all inside and we all drank hot tea and pretended like I hadn’t nearly been killed by a drug cartel. It was a bit surreal. After a while, she helped get Grandpa back to bed when he started fading then let herself out for home with a kiss to my cheek.
“I’m glad you’re back,” she whispered in my ear.
“Me, too.”
I locked up behind her then spun to face Tanner. He was so familiar to me in so many ways, yet right now, he was a stranger. This man had fought for me. He would’ve died for me. His friend nearly did. And for what? I was a nobody. A poor girl from the Mississippi Delta who waited tables. Yet, when Tanner looked at me, I felt like somebody. Somebody special and beautiful and cherished.
“You wanted to talk?” I managed in a choked voice.
“Yeah.” He cupped the back of his neck. “Would you mind if I took a shower first?”
“Of course not.”
He blinked, studying me, then nodded. “I’ll just run back to my apartment then. Be back in a few minutes? Or do you want to meet me there?”
I thought for a second. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay. Give me ten minutes.” He paused at the door and peered back. “Tex wanted me to tell you he’s sorry he didn’t get to visit very long, but . . .”
“But this wasn’t really a social visit,” I finished for him.
“Right.” He nodded, his gaze raking me up and down. “He said he’ll be in touch as soon as things settle down so you can catch up.”
I nodded. “That sounds great.”
I watched him go, my mind a tumble, my heart a mess. What would he say when I got to the apartment? What did he want from me?
There was only one way to find out.
I ran to my bathroom, washed up quickly to get the filth of the night off my skin, then changed clothes. I checked on my grandfather then dashed out to Tanner’s apartment.
I knocked softly.
“It’s open.”
I stepped inside and found him in clean jeans, a plain white T-shirt, his feet bare, his black hair wet, his eyes blazing.
The door squeaked closed behind me and suddenly I was engulfed in his clean soapy scent.
He crossed his arms and stared me down. “You didn’t answer me.”
“What?”
“You heard me. My text. You didn’t answer.”
Oh. That. “I’m not . . .”
He lifted a brow. “I’m trained to detect liars, Rebekah. Don’t bullshit me. If you don’t feel the same, just say so. I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”
“It’s not that I don’t . . .” I shook my head and turned to look out the window a moment, gathering the courage to face him again. “Does it matter what I feel, Tanner?”
His brows thundered down now. “Of course, it does.”
“I’m not so sure about—”
Before I could get the rest of my words out, he stormed over and swallowed them with a kiss. His tongue thundered across mine in a brutal show of possession that shattered my soul and spoke a million words that I knew he could never say otherwise.
Breathless, I drew back, clutching his waist. “You’re leaving,” I whimpered.
“What?”
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. “You’re leaving. What I feel for you can’t matter. You’ve got to go back to your life and that’s not here.” I looked up at him, my heart shattering in my chest. “But my life is.”
I watched as the realization of all that separated us dawned on him. We might’ve felt a world of emotion for each other, but in the end, we both knew all we could do was say goodbye and chalk it up to one perfect night that would have to last us both a lifetime.
Chapter Eighteen
Tanner
Rebekah let me make love to her one last time, and while she may not have answered my text message, I felt her reply in every way her body responded to mine. I committed every moment, every breath, to memory, and held her as long as I dared, until she was fast asleep. As dawn broke, I packed quickly and slipped out, saving us both the heartache of a long goodbye.
She was absolutely right. In another time and place, I would’ve chased her down and loved the hell out of her, but our lives were just in two different places right now. I had to report back to California and she had to stay in Biloxi to care for her grandfather. Long distance relationships were hard under the best of circumstances, and ours were far from ideal.
But, God, it hurt to let her go.
I hoofed it back to the airport, where Tex and the guys were waiting, anxious to get back to the rest of the team and their families.
Tito had stayed with Bubba through the night and kept us updated. He’d come through surgery with flying colors and was awake. He’d lost a lot of blood and the bullet had torn through an artery and the tendons that support his right arm and shoulder—his shooting arm. He was looking at some serious healing time. His family was flying in this morning to be with him and take him home to Texas as soon as he was released to finish his recovery and rehab, so he’d be out of commission for at least a few months.
Tito offered me a tight nod as we boarded the plane and I buckled up. The whole flight back to Cali, my mind kept straying back to Mississippi. I swore I’d never go back there, but now I was tempted.
“You okay, man?” Tito nudged me with his elbow.
I glanced over. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Knowing eyes took me in. “You gonna keep in touch with her?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“Why the hell not?”
“You know why not, brother.”
He slapped my thigh. “You never know, Ma
v. Things have a strange way of working themselves out. Just you wait and see. If that sweet little girl is meant to be yours, you’ll find a way.”
I narrowed my gaze at my leader and friend. He’s always been a badass. One of the toughest guys I knew. “When did you become such a romantic?”
He barked out a laugh. “Always, my friend. Always.”
I smirked and shook my head.
Tex glanced up from his phone. “They’ve got the security back up at the house and secured the perimeter.”
Wolf sagged in his seat. “Everyone’s secure?”
“Of course.” Tex stabbed back a text message. “That fucking El Lobo Blanco was just messing with us, trying to throw us off our game.”
“He needs to go down,” Wolf murmured.
“Agreed,” Tex said, tucking away his phone. “Believe me, I’ll be working on this around the clock until I get something we can use.” His gaze slid over me. “Thanks for taking the lead on this one and taking care of my family, Maverick.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, man, no problem.”
He nodded and turned to stare out the window at the clouds rolling by.
I bounced my knee and stared at my phone, willing Rebekah to text, though I knew she wouldn’t. Of course, she wouldn’t. We’d said all there was to say. But still, I felt like a part of me was dying . . . like I’d left half of my heart in Biloxi and I’d never, ever get it back.
~ ~
We landed and made it back to Wolf’s place before dinner. It was a melee of wives and kids, and all I wanted was a hot shower, a meal, and a bed. And Rebekah.
I took part in the debrief in Wolf’s den via Skype with Commanders Briggs and Hurt, where we updated them on the Op, Bubba’s condition, and Tex gave them an update on his intel (or lack thereof) on Marco Esteban and El Lobo Blanco.
As soon as I could, I made my escape back to my place and locked myself away with a bottle of Jack.
I might’ve been a little bit drunk when I texted Rebekah.
Me: I miss you bad.
Rebekah: I miss you too.
Me: Can I visit?
Rebekah: Now?
Me: I wish. Soon? Whenever I can get leave. I need to see you.
Rebekah: Are you OK?
Me: Yup.
Rebekah: You sure?
Me: Nope.
A minute later, my phone rang. My heavy fingers nearly hung up on her before I could answer. “Hello?”
“What is it you want, Tanner?”
“You,” I admitted.
Her breath hummed across the line and I closed my eyes, imagining it brushing across my skin. God, I was sunk for this woman.
“I thought we already discussed this. You live in California. I live in Mississippi. How could that possibly work?”
“We didn’t really discuss anything,” I murmured, my eyes heavy. “You just assumed things. How do you know it won’t work? How do you know I won’t leave the Marines, move back to Biloxi and take up . . . I don’t know . . . shrimping?”
“Shrimping?”
“Whatever.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“A little, but that’s not the point.”
“Oh, I think it is. Don’t be ridiculous.” She sighed. “Look. We’ve both had a rough few days. You’re obviously drunk. Go to bed. Sleep it off. Things will look better in the morning. Okay?”
“I doubt that.”
“Goodnight, Tanner.”
Heat burned the back of my eyelids. I didn’t want to let her go, even this small connection. I wasn’t sure when I’d become this man, but I couldn’t deny how she’d changed me.
“Rebekah, baby—”
But the line was already dead.
Chapter Nineteen
Tanner
One month later . . .
I was exhausted and jetlagged and still didn’t quite feel like myself as I deplaned the C-130 from our three-week deployment to Iraq. I hadn’t been myself since the moment I left Rebekah sleeping in that bed and tried to get on with my life without her.
It had become blaringly, painfully obvious to me that I was falling in love with her, but I hadn’t pursued her anymore. She’d made it clear she didn’t want that and I didn’t want to push something on her that made her uncomfortable.
I had heard from Tex that James passed away while we’d been deployed, and I hated that I hadn’t been able to go to the funeral. I would’ve given anything to be there to hold her and comfort her, but at least she had a new family now in the Keegans, and I knew they would support her when I couldn’t. I did send flowers though. Three dozen white calla lilies—James had told me once those were Rebekah and her grandmother’s favorite. No card. I didn’t want to make it any harder on her, but I did want her to have something beautiful on what I knew had to be the hardest day of her life.
Behind me, Lucky and Kid joked about something, while Tito and Red talked in low voices as we walked down the plane steps toward the flight line.
Suddenly, Red paused in front of me and I nearly slammed into his back.
“Watch it, bro,” I grumbled.
He shot me a look with a lifted brow then tilted his head toward the crowd of waiting family.
“Wha—?” I froze when I saw what he was pointing at. Or rather, who. I blinked, sure my mind was playing tricks on me, even as my heart began to gallop hard enough to bruise my ribs.
Tito nudged me. “Go.”
I skirted them and bounded down the steps, dropping my duffel on the concrete as I sprinted toward her.
It took her a second, but the moment Rebekah spotted me, those big, baby blue eyes softened with emotion and she took off in my direction.
We met in the middle and she leapt into my arms, clinging to my neck as I lifted her off the ground.
“Oh, my God. What are you doing here?” I pulled back and looked at her face in wonder. “How did you know—?”
“Shut up and kiss me first.” She grinned.
“Yes, ma’am.”
It was like coming home to have her lips on mine again and I could hardly believe she was there. All too soon, I had to put her down. I threaded my fingers through her hair, cupping her cheeks and gazing into her eyes.
“What’s happening here?” I asked.
She put her hands over mine, lacing our fingers together. “I came to answer your text in person.”
My brows curled in confusion. “What?”
She laughed. “Your text. The one I never answered?”
“Oh . . .” People milled all around us, hugging and cheering, and in my peripherals, I watched my team reunite with their families and move away. “And?”
“And our time together meant everything to me, too. I just couldn’t leave my grandpa. You understand, right?”
“Of course, baby.”
Fat tears filled her eyes. “Thank you for the flowers, by the way. They were beautiful.”
“You knew?”
“Of course, I knew.” She squeezed my fingers. “Nobody else would be that thoughtful or wonderful. Nobody else ever has. Not to me.”
“Baby—”
She shook her head, cutting me off. “I couldn’t leave him. He was the only family I had . . . or that I thought I had. Until now.” She smiled up at me. “I’ve got a whole new family and they’re wonderful.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Tex is like the big brother I never had and I love Melody and the girls.”
“You finally got to meet them?”
She pulled back and drew me away from the crowd. “I took some time off after the funeral and stayed with them for a while to get my head on straight and get to know my family.”
I caressed her cheek. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”
She ran a hand down the front of my uniform as if noticing it for the first time, her eyes darkening with concern. “And you? You’re safe? Everything is good?”
“I’m fine. A quick mission, in and out.”
“And Bu
bba?”
“He’s on the mend back home in Texas.”
She nodded, brushing my lapels as if needing something to do with her hands. “I’m glad.” Her eyes met mine. “I can’t thank all of you enough for what you did for me to keep me and Granddad safe. I owe you my life.”
I cupped her jaw. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Because it was your job?”
“It was my job, but you don’t owe me because you’re my girl, Rebekah. No matter what.” I ducked my head and nuzzled her jaw. “So . . . if you’re here . . . can I assume . . .?” I kissed her just behind the ear, making her shiver.
She clutched my biceps, her golden curls bobbing as she nodded. “Yes.” She met my gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t say more sooner. I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure. It was all so confusing and then losing Grandpa . . . the grief was so overwhelming.” She leaned into me and I caught her and held her to my chest. “But I realized something during the last few weeks . . .”
“Yeah? What’s that, baby?”
“That I want to be with you.”
“You do?”
She sniffled and nodded. “Yeah.” She lifted her head and looked me in the eye. “If you still want to be with me.”
A stupid grin split my face. “More than anything. God, I’ve been miserable this last month, thinking I had to let you go forever.”
Her smile matched mine. “Forever is a long time.”
“Too long.” I leaned down and kissed her because . . . well . . . because I had to. I couldn’t wait one more second. “So, what now?” I asked when I drew back. “How long do I have you for? When do you have to go back to Biloxi?”
“Funny thing . . .” Her hold tightened around my waist.
“What’s that?”
Those blue eyes that slayed me dove right into my soul as she stared up at me, her heart right there for the taking. “I’ve been thinking . . . I’ve always wanted to open a café by the ocean. Maybe call it Maverick’s? What do you think?”
My eyes popped open as a laugh escaped me. “I think that’s perfect, baby. Absolutely perfect.”
This woman of mine. I could hardly believe my luck.