by Sylvia Fox
Maybe nothing ever really happened between Luke and my mom because Luke didn't want it to. Maybe it was never my mom resisting at all.
Luke was between my legs, tasting everything I had to offer. He wanted it. He told me he had always wanted it.
Maybe it was never Mom saying no, maybe it was always Luke pulling back. Maybe Luke said no to her because what he really wanted was me.
I swallow at the realization, and my heart breaks a little for my mother.
Did I take the man she wanted unknowingly?
I pull out my phone, needing to speak to her. Knowing she's the only one who might understand my feelings right now. Not many people would understand because it's so complicated and messy.
I want Luke. I want Chris.
I am needy and I am selfish and I want more than I deserve. Still, I can't help but want it all. I press her number and thankfully she picks up. She always picks up for me.
"Jenna, baby, what is it?"
I spoke with her the day I moved in, she knows all about me coming here to the farm this summer. But what she doesn't know is that I graduated a year early and that after the summer, I have nowhere to go.
And now, the dreams of me staying here at this farm, with the two men I love, seems like a silly fantasy. I let them both touch me today... and I didn't tell either of them about how I truly felt. They probably think I am a hussy or worse. Maybe they want me to leave right now.
I start crying, choking on the words I have to say.
"Mom, I messed everything up. It's all ruined," I hiccup, trying to regain my emotions.
"Baby, whatever are you talking about? What did you mess up? Surely nothing that can't be fixed."
"You don't understand, I... I... I did something I can't take back. What I did has ruined everything."
"What, baby? I can't imagine a girl as sweet and gentle and kind as you could ever ruin anything."
"Mom, I have to tell you something. But once I do, it's going to change our relationship forever. Do you still want to hear it?"
"Oh honey, is this about those two men?"
"Those men?" My mind races. She knows? Did Luke or Chris already call her and tell her?
"I knew the idea of you going out to Chris's farmhouse this summer was gonna be trouble. Luke and Chris... and you ... all in the house alone... Tell me, whose heart did you break?"
"You knew I...?"
"Have been pining after both those men for the last five years, maybe longer?" Mom laughs softly. "Of course I knew. Anyone who saw you around them would know."
"Why didn't you ever tell me to get a grip?" I shake my head, trying to replay in my mind all the past Christmases and Sunday barbecues and birthday parties held here at the farm. Have I embarrassed myself a million times before I embarrassed myself today?
"Get a grip?" Mom asks. "Honey, what would you suppose I should have done? Tell my daughter that the men she wanted were out of her league? I'd say no such thing. You're good enough for anybody who was smart enough to have you."
"Mom, Luke and Chris are over ten years my senior. Isn't that... and Luke was my step…,"
"Jenna, Luke was no more your step-daddy than the garbage man was. You know that. He took care of us, and thank God he rescued us when we needed him the most. And Chris, he has been a stable man in our family for years. We're lucky to have those men. Nothing wrong with you being attracted to them. It's just, at some point I figured you'd either outgrow your fantasy, or you would choose, or, they would choose you."
"I didn't outgrow anything, Mom. In fact... I gave into that fantasy."
I hear mom sigh on the other end, then she speaks gently, "Sweetie, it's okay to give into what your body wants. What your heart wants. But you gotta tell me, which man did you choose?"
My heart constricts then aches. How do I tell her I didn't choose? That I don't how to choose. How do I say that right now, both Luke and Chris are probably shouting in the house about what kind of tramp I am?
"Mom, I didn't choose... I think I messed it all up."
I tell her everything, and maybe that's TMI for most mother-daughter relationships, but nothing is a secret after you've watched your mom get beat up by her boyfriend. Suddenly propriety goes out the window, and in some ways, I'm glad that there isn't a filter between her and I. It's a relief to be able to tell my mother what happened today.
"Sweetie, that's a lot."
"What am I going to do?"
"I'm picturing you out there, under the willow tree, crying all alone. But I'm also picturing Chris and Luke in the house. You say they are yelling and fighting about you. But are you sure that's what's happening?"
"Of course! They both basically told me they want me, and I told them I wanted them both, too ... Mom, it's so complicated."
"But Jenna, you chose them both for a reason, didn't you? You chose them because they are good and kind and solid men. Because they care about you. More than care about you. It sounds like they love you. Maybe they aren't judging you at all."
"Say that's true, even if it is a long shot -- how does that make you feel? You and Luke were married."
"But he and I never slept together. Maybe it was because I was so much older than him. Maybe..."
"Maybe it was because he was in love with me?" I interrupt.
"Exactly. And sweetie, I couldn't want anything more for you than to have either of those men."
"Mom, don't you understand? I want them both. How am I supposed to choose?"
"Follow your heart, Jenna. That's the best advice I can offer. You say that they're yelling in the house but I'm guessing they're not shouting so much as trying to figure out a way to make you happy."
I exhale, wanting her words to be true so badly. "So you don't judge me? For what I did today?"
"There's too much hate in this world already, Jenna. Too much condemnation and judgment. I'm your mother and all I can offer is my love. My greatest wish is for you to be loved."
"But what about you, Mom? You're all alone, without anyone."
"Oh, baby, it's taken a long time for me to get to a place where I can take care of myself. Luke and Chris helped me get a leg up in this world and I'll never forget it. So, don't you worry about your mom. Right now, it's time to worry about you."
"So, you think I should just go back in the house and say what, exactly?"
"I think you need to go in the house and tell them the truth."
"And the truth is?"
Mom laughs. "Oh, Jenna, I can't answer that question for you. The truth is whatever your heart tells you. Follow that. It won't lead you astray."
"I love you, Mom."
"I love you too. And Jenna?"
"Yes, mom?"
"Those people who say you can't have it all, maybe they're wrong. Maybe you can. Maybe you already do."
I hang up smiling, knowing exactly what I need to do.
Chapter Eleven
Jenna
I walk back in the house, hoping for the best.
I'm not preparing for the worst because that kind of thinking won't get me anywhere except broken hearted.
And right now, my heart isn't shattered, right now it's bursting with hope.
I walk through the door and see the farmhouse lights are low, candles flicker everywhere. A soft smile crosses my lips, wondering how Luke or Chris even found so many candles. And why they would have them all lit.
I listen closely as I close the door and hang up my purse, hearing soft music playing from the iPod docked on the counter. It's heavy bass and low beats, very sexy, but I can't see Luke or Chris anywhere.
Part of me is instantly relieved, I am not walking into a screaming battle, no brawl. Neither of them has bloodied faces.
Although, I don't technically see either of their faces.
I adjust my strapless dress and stand in the center of the living room.
"Hello? Luke? Chris? Where are you?"
I turn in a circle and as I do, they descend upon the room, grinning at me. Th
ey both wear low-slung jeans; their shirts are off. Their chests are ripped and my eyes are drawn to the deep V that forces my eyes to fixate on their cocks.
"We were just about to come looking for you." Chris walks toward me confidently, wraps his arms around my waist. I inhale him, and he smells like fresh grass and apple pies and hard work. My eyes look up to meet his, and his mouth presses tightly against mine. I sink into his kiss, so caught off guard by it. My mouth parts, his tongue finds mine, and he kisses me deeper than he had out in the barn.
I kiss him like it's a promise. I kiss him like it's a promise I intend to keep. When he pulls away I remember that it's not just him and I this room. And I have to make amends.
"I have to tell you something," he says, looking down at me with his soulful eyes. "Something I should've said when we were in the barn earlier today."
"What is it?" I ask my brows creasing.
"I love you, Jenna. I've loved you as long as I've known you and nothing is going to get in the way of that."
I swallow, pressing my hand to my chest, but unable to keep back the words I want so badly to say.
"I love you too, Chris. So much. I love you for wanting me for who I really am and wanting me despite my flaws."
"Flaws?" Luke asks. My eyes fall on my ex-stepfather, the man I have wanted since the day we met. The man I am scared I might lose.
He walks toward Chris and me. My heart starts hammering in my chest because this is the part that makes it all so complicated. I must tell Luke the same thing I just said to Chris and I don't know if they're going to understand that I can't choose between them.
"You have no flaws, Jenna." Luke reaches for my hand and Chris steps out of the way. Luke's hand cups my chin, and he pulls me close to him. So close I can feel his hard cock between us, so close I can take in his manly scent of sweet hay and gasoline and commitment.
"I have so many flaws. I messed up today ... for starters."
"Shush, that's not true. You didn't mess up anything." Luke shakes his head. But I look at him with confusion written on my face. How are they both so accepting of me?
"I love you, Jenna," Luke tells me. "I love you now and I love you forever."
My eyes fill with tears, unable to understand why both of these men love me. In my heart, though, I accept their love. It's the only love I've ever wanted.
"I love you too, Luke," I tell him. "More than you know. I love you so much, that's what makes me so scared. You know what I did with Chris and he knows what I did with you..."
But before I can say anymore, Luke kisses me. When we were in my room, he licked my pussy but he never licked my lips. And now he is. Electricity flows from my body to his I feel my body pressing tighter against him. Wanting this so badly. His tongue is on mine, his mouth warm and inviting. Waking up all of my senses as he makes love to my mouth.
When he pulls away I see Chris take a step closer toward us. I don't understand how neither of them seems offended by the fact I'm giving myself to them both.
"We didn't want to make you choose, Jenna. It isn't fair," Chris tells me.
"We both love you, and so you can have us both," Luke explains.
He wraps his arm around my waist, and Chris comes behind me and wraps his hands around me too. His mouth is on my ear and he's blowing soft air on me.
I exhale, allowing my shoulders to fall into Chris's chest the same time Luke's hands run up my thighs, lifting my dress to my hips.
"I can have you both?"
"Every day of your life," Chris tells me.
He unzips my dress and my breasts tumble out. From behind he reaches around me to hold both of my tits in his hands. He thumbs my now hard nipples while planting kisses along my neck.
And Luke is in front of me, his fingers moving between my legs, touching my pussy. He can feel how badly I want him.
"You're so wet," he says, looking at me dead on. Not seeming at all uncomfortable with the fact his best friend is behind me with his hands massaging my breasts.
"I'm so wet for both of you," I tell him. "I'm so wet and so horny."
"You want to be a naughty girl?" Chris asks me I feel his cock grinding into my ass. I whimper a yes. As I do, I hear him unzip his pants and dropping them to the floor. His massive cock is now right up against my ass and I want him inside of me. I want to taste him and ride him and be filled with him.
"You like that baby?" he asks.
"I want more," I tell him. "I want more and I want it now."
Luke growls in response and lets his pants drop as well. I look down and see another twelve-inch cock before me.
My pussy tightened, overwhelmed with the sight of two perfect cocks, rock-hard for me.
I reach out to touch Luke's. It's so hard and so big, and I'm glad my pussy has been worked over today so I can take them both.
"Your body is so perfect Jenna," Chris tells me, his voice hushed and reverent.
I shake my head blushing at his comments. But I love them. I love to hear him tell me how beautiful he finds me.
Luke's fingers press against my clit, and I sigh relishing in the sensation of four hands on my body. Four hands working to take care of me. I've never felt so loved or so wanted. So seen. Tears prick at my eyes as I try to accept how lucky I am.
"Don't make me wait any longer," I tell them. "I've waited long enough."
"I need you, baby," Luke tells me. I nod, wanting him to guide me wherever he wants me to go. He pulls me to the couch and I straddle him. My pussy aching for more, my pussy aching for everything. My pussy aching for him.
I sink down on his massive cock, whimpering as I do because it just feels so good, so right.
"Oh my God, Luke, that feels so good. Oh yeah," I tell him.
Chris follows us and stands behind the couch. His cock is at eye level, and I lean my body forward as Luke thrusts deep inside of me.
I let my lips wrap around Chris's cock as Luke's fingers graze my asshole. He rams his massive length inside my burning pussy. It feels so good. I'm on fire -- I'm burning up. And Chris's cock is in my mouth offering me the deepest pleasure I've ever imagined -- being filled by two men at once.
I bob my head up and down, up and down as I suck him. My lips stretching as wide as I can to take his girth. His cock hits the back of my throat and I love the way it burns. I want him more, I want to taste his come and swallow his seed. I want Luke's come to fill me up and shoot deep inside of me. I want all of them, I want all of them at once.
And I have it all right now.
Luke thrusts his cock into me harder and harder, until I'm groaning, making sounds I've never made before. Chris's hands are in my hair, and his cock is in my mouth, his length throbbing within me. My pussy throbs too, dripping wet, and oh, so hot.
"I'm coming so hard," I moan. "I'm coming for you. For both of you. You're so hot. Making me so wet. I've never come like this before. Oh, my God, ohhh," I scream, my nails digging into Luke shoulders and my mouth filling with Chris's creamy seed.
His come slides down my throat and I pull his length from my mouth wanting his come on my face too. Luke thrusts again inside my pussy, at the same time, Chris's come coats my face. My body is hot and slick with sex and sweat and come and Luke's body is riveted with mine. Chris walks around the couch, his still-hard cock a sight to behold.
Chris strokes himself as he watches me slide off of Luke, and then both men are sitting on the couch and I lay out over them both. My body still responding to our lovemaking. My heart beats fast and my pussy pounds with pleasure. The reverberations of the orgasm still working through me.
I lay down over Chris's lap, his cock against my cheek and his hands threading themselves through my hair. Luke's hand cups my pussy softly. Stroking me as I come down from the highest high I've ever felt. Both men look at my body as if it's the most beautiful thing they've ever seen.
My hand reaches down to hold Luke's still-hard cock, and I let them caress me until my eyes close and I fall asleep.
I s
leep soundly, wrapped in the arms of the two men who love me.
Epilogue
Jenna
Not many people would understand the relationship I share with Chris and Luke. It's unconventional, sure, but it is pure and true and holy. It is ours. The most beautiful love I could have ever imagined between a man and a woman and a man.
Once I explained that I had already graduated from college and told them that my deepest hope was that I could stay here forever, they asked for my hand in marriage.
And while our marriage isn't legally binding, we have exchanged vows and rings and promised to love one another until death do us part.
Everything about the first year together was bliss. I'd wake up in a tangle of sheets and sweat and coated in come. Coated in love and covered in kisses. One night I would sleep with Chris, the next night with Luke, the third night I would get them both at once.
The arrangement was perfect, but then a year later we got news that shook us all to our core.
It was our greatest wish to have a baby. We thought growing a family would be the most beautiful way to share our love. But after months of trying to conceive and rounds of tests, there was one conclusion made. I would never be able to have a child of my own.
I was heartbroken, of course. Tears ran down my cheeks, and Chris and Luke did their best console me. But for a while I was inconsolable.
But then my mom came up with the idea that gave us all hope. A way we could still have a family. A young woman who she worked with as a dental hygienist named Trista just found out she was pregnant and wanted to put the baby up for adoption.
Trista wasn't bothered with labels and terms, all she wanted for her daughter was a family that would love her unconditionally, love her forever. She wasn't in a place to raise a child, but we were. We had a beautiful farm, miles of green grass and baby cows and tractor rides.
Trista was more than I could have asked for in a birth mother. She graciously accepted us. Chris, Luke and me and the type of family we are. An unconventional family who just wants a child.