No Wasted Tears

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No Wasted Tears Page 2

by Sylvia D. Carter


  Turning into Charlie’s Bar and Grill, he saw the full parking lot. He heard her take a deep calming breath; he assumed it was because there were no visible people outside. After pulling up to her car she got out and he followed suit. They both were careful not to make any unnecessary noise. Checking the trunk to make sure he had not seen the suitcase was their first objective. After a quick inspection, he closed the trunk as easily as he could without being seen or heard. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a lone figure approaching. Bending down, they pretended to be looking for something on the ground. Glory to God, they walked past. She put her key in the lock and got in. It was so easy. Pulling her car out of its parking space, he pulled Stanley’s in its place, leaving the key in the seat. Then, joining her, they began to drive out of the parking lot.

  It was then that they saw Stanley walking out of the restaurant surrounded by a group of his friends. Staying to watch the fireworks was not their priority. She had to make her flight, and there was only an hour and forty-five minutes left. The traffic had gotten better and was moving faster. Finally he saw a smile grace her face. Reaching over he grabbed her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. They had done it. After checking her in curbside and saying their goodbyes, he watched her go through the sliding glass doors. Driving off he said, “Thank you, Lord. You make hard things easy.”

  Destiny found a seat in the waiting area. Holding her hands tightly in her lap, she tried to remain calm. The events of the day were catching up with her with lightning speed. She took a few slow, deep, breaths and let them out, hoping they would begin the boarding process soon. The fear of being caught lingered on her mind. If she let it, Destiny knew, it would take over completely. All she desired was to be on that plane, but because they had another fifteen minutes before the boarding process she kept herself occupied by people watching. There were mothers pointing things out to their children, chatting mindlessly about the plane and all its features. Even with all of the activity around her, she could sense someone’s presence near her, that awareness caused prickles along her skin. Turning, she saw a young lady with her head wrapped in a beautiful scarf that looked away just as she turned to see who was watching. She had what looked like a computer of some kind in her lap and her hands were moving quickly across its keys. Maybe she hadn’t been staring at her after all. It was just as well because she didn’t want to be recognized by anyone who could possibly know Stanley. Destiny stiffened, upset by the nature of her own thoughts…Stanley. No, she refused to think of Stanley, after all of her months of planning, this uncontrollable fear of him was causing her to doubt. Surely she was tougher than that? God had not given her the spirit of fear. Although all of this was a new experience for her, things had gone pretty much as planned expect for the mishap with the car, and still she and Willie manage to get to the airport on time. Her gaze wandered back to the young lady seated across from her, who now appeared to be busy on her computer tapping the keys with the speed of a gazelle.

  Destiny couldn’t look away, even when she looked up. Her gaze settled on the face of the woman, and there was such sadness in her eyes that it caused her to wonder at her purpose for traveling to Seattle. Destiny could not look away…and neither could the other woman. They stared at each other, and Destiny felt a connection. She seemed oddly familiar but she couldn’t place her. Then her expression softened. Her lips formed a slight smile before she looked back at her computer. Destiny sagged against her seat. She was tired, but also amazed and unnerved by how affected she’d been by a simple look.

  The flight would be leaving in just a few minutes, and she was becoming antsy waiting to board. There was something about that woman. She knew her and she was absolutely certain of that, but for now all her concentration had to be on getting to Seattle. It made her nervous not knowing where she knew her from but she’d remember if not now, maybe later after she was on the plane. Thinking about this now was ridiculous because, while South Carolina certainly held many painful memories, Destiny didn’t have that many friends she wouldn’t recognize when she saw them, nor did Stanley. Just thinking of Stanley, of everything that had happened, made her feel dizzy, and she forced herself to push it away. She couldn’t wait to say one day that it was a lifetime ago. A lifetime she’d never forget. And a mistake she’d never make again…and certainly not with anyone like Stanley. Straightening, Destiny turned to face the boarding attendant. It was time to start her new life.

  After what felt like hours, Destiny was on the plane, seated, and prepared for take off. One of her biggest regrets was the woman she’d become after her decision to move in with Stanley. It was one of the main reasons why she’d decided to pack up and move to Seattle. She needed a fresh start, a chance to start over in a place where the memory of Stanley’s abuse and infidelities wouldn’t be constant reminders of her own failures. She had heard her Bishop say, “that although we may have aborted our dream, destiny, or purpose, God had the power to speak life to it because he impregnated us with it in our mother’s womb.” That was reason enough to rejoice about her future. Seattle was exactly what she needed, a place where no one knew her and, furthermore, no one cared about her past.

  Her pulse thudded in her ears as the gravity of the situation finally hit her. Her skin broke out in a sweat, the palms of her hands were hot and moist caused by fear. Was she dreaming? She was actually going to start over in a city where the only people she considered important in her life knew her. Since she’d made the decision to move months ago, she’d tried not to think about what would come next. Sure she had a good sum of money in the bank and a house, but then what? Her possibilities were endless.

  Destiny stared out the window because she was nervous—not about being on a plane, but about the thought of him coming on board to drag her off. Crazy thoughts were coming from all over the place, and it felt like she had more than one hundred demons fighting against her. Auntie always said that the Lord had angels who defended her on a daily basis. She had to admit her angels must have won the first part of the battle because she was on the plane safe and sound. She had learned from Bible study that fear was just false evidence that appears to be real. The only way to conquer a fear was to tackle it head on with faith. Today she had begun to do just that because everything had gone according to plan. All she had to do was relax. All the drama from earlier was now over.

  Despite the pain and her frantically thumping heart, she could still hear his accusatory voice yelling because she didn’t have his dinner prepared on time. Just thinking about the way he hit her made her angry. The physical pain had almost been unbearable but there was nothing to be done about it now. All she wanted was to get away. The depression that she had fallen into during her senior year in college had consumed her. Her thoughts had become bitter and angry. Then, Stanley had offered her a job and a home, some sense of security. At the time Destiny had desperately wanted something normal and steady in her life, someone who could be strong for her when her world was suddenly so off balance. So she had accepted his offer and then literally overnight, he had changed. He began finding fault with everything she did, even raising his hand to hit her.

  Earlier he had stood there looking at her with his eyes rolling around like a deranged man. “You know you made me do this, right?”

  Too weak to do anything, she scrunched her eyes closed and forced herself to concentrate, but her head pounded sickeningly as she tried to recall the last few days. It was all a blur, a foggy indistinct blur that made little, if any sense. What had she done now to trigger this? She had just lain there, balled in a tight knot. Trying to nod her head, Destiny had wanted to tell him anything so he would leave her alone. As if by looking at her made him sick, he straddled her already aching body once again. With the full force of at least ten men, he began to throw blows to her head.

  Covering her face the best she could with her hands, she finally let the tears fall. She moistened her lips again, trying to find a way out of the confusing labyrinthine of her mind. “I’m s
orry…Please stop…I’m sorry…”

  Speechless with rage, he just looked at her, his wide nostrils flared and his breathing blasted out in ragged spurts. His top lip lifted in a movement that should have been a wry smile but somehow Destiny suspected it wasn’t. “Where’s the God that’s supposed to be your shield and buckler? All I do for you, and you can’t even get dinner on the table when I get home.” Chuckling, he began again. “I told you before nobody wanted your sorry behind but me. Why did you come back? I never wanted you! I was supposed to marry Denise. Now she’s marrying the man that was my best friend before I met you. You ruined my life. It’s funny now.” He laughed like a deranged person. “I befriended you in hopes of making Denise jealous, and now three years later she’s marrying Curtis Watson. Now get up and fix me something to eat, and act like you’re glad to do it!”

  Reaching out with both hands, he grabbed her bloodied face and kissed her swollen lips and then whispered in her ear, “Don’t make me have to do this again.”

  Nodding, Destiny just wanted him to leave. Her head hit the floor with so much force, and then he walked out of the kitchen. When he got to the door, he turned around.

  Panicking, thinking he was coming back, Destiny covered her face.

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you I’m hanging with the boys tonight. I’ll get something to eat while I’m out! But let this be a lesson to you that when a man gets home, he wants his food. Now get up and clean your nasty-looking self up before you make me sicker than I already am.”

  Knowing that laying there would only make him angrier, she got up, resting on her knees. Too frightened to submit to the exhaustion she felt, Destiny tried once more to slowly get up. Lifting her hand slightly, she wiped the stray tear that cascaded down her face.

  Silently, thoughts were running through her head. Why did she stay with this fool? She had a degree and a good job. A recent promotion had just put her in the six-figure range.

  She put her hand against the window and looked down, reflecting on the last six months. Destiny shivered. Her eyes burned with tears and her whole body ached. She’d been so busy being an obedient boxing bag that she hadn’t had a chance to figure out who she was or what she wanted from life. But now she had all the time in the world…and it scared her to death.

  Her chest tightened uncomfortably, and her breaths came quick and shallow. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t the type of person who could start over. She should get off this plane right now. At least then she wouldn’t have to face the uncertainty of the future and the possibility of failing.

  Her eyes watered, and she curled closer to the window, staring at the woman she’d become, asking what happened to the Destiny who once was so full of life. She pulled her ponytail holder out of her hair and ran her fingers through it. It had been too long since she had a life she could call her own. Shaking her head, with the realization that she’d given up everything for him, it never got better like he’d promised. It just got worse. In the beginning, before they’d moved in together, he had been so charming and so very attentive. He was protective, not possessive, forceful, not dominating. He was constantly telling her how much he loved her. It was all so flattering.

  Destiny, however, had had no illusions about her feelings. She didn’t love Stanley. She’d liked him well enough and thought that, perhaps, she would grow to love him. He always said, “Baby, you know I love you. It hurts me when I have to do this. I’m a good man, and any woman would be glad to have a man that drives a Bentley and lives in this neighborhood with a salary like mine.”

  Suddenly a claustrophobic wave overcame her, causing her to heave deep breaths. She tried to calm her racing heart, which seemed to match the roar of the plane’s engine. It felt as if the plane was beginning to back up. It was at that moment she heard a voice in her head similar to Stanley’s saying, Where do you think you are going? Then the speed on the plane picked up. It’s not too late to say stop, you made a mistake, and get off. Rubbing her head, Destiny was starting to wonder if she did the right thing. Her head was pounding. What she needed to do was pray. Lord, am I doing the right thing? I want a life. I deserve a life of happiness and joy. Please, Lord, give me a sign. In Jesus’s name, amen.” She struggled to contain her composure by clutching at the armrest of the seat as if to anchor herself.

  A hard thigh brushed against her hand, causing her to jump.

  “Sorry.” The voice was deep and filled with apology.

  She gasped, hand clutched over her heart. Wiping the tears from her face with the back of her other hand, she said, “It’s all right.” Turning, she looked at the face of the voice she’d just heard.

  “I can hold your hand if this take-off is making you nervous. I could even join you in prayer. It must be your first flight?”

  Looking up, Destiny saw the man who was sitting next to her for the first time. Instantly, she noticed his warm brown eyes she felt tiny beads of sweat on her forehead while he appeared completely calm. His relaxed state eased some of the uncertainty she felt.

  “Perhaps I should introduce myself,” the man said, breaking through her tortured reverie. “We may as well get acquainted because for the next four-and-a-half hours we’ll be seated next to each other. My name is Adam Wheeler, and what, may I ask, is yours?”

  She never experienced the sensations floating around in her stomach. It felt like a flutter of joy, something that was reaching way down deep in her soul. It took her so long to answer him, he finally said, “At least let me hold your hand until we get in the air.” She held out her right hand. After noticing it trembling, she hid it in her lap. She didn’t want him to think she was a frightened little girl; her emotions were all over the place especially after everything she’d endured to make this flight. She was a big ball of confusion. Closing her eyes briefly, she inhaled, allowing the stored air in her lungs to slowly escape through her pursed lips before reopening her eyes to look at him.

  Adam saw the trembling of her hand before she quickly hid it under her jacket. “It’s Destiny…” she said after a moment, her spirits instantly lifting as she turned to looked out the window. Silence filled the air as the plane finally leveled off rapidly moving them toward their destination—the place where all of Destiny’s hopes and dreams would come to fruition or dissipate into nothingness.

  He could not believe his ears. “Excuse me…what did you say?” he asked. Destiny smiled lightly, in response to the astonishment that had crept into his expression despite his best efforts to conceal it. “Destiny. My name is Destiny Harper, and it’s nice to meet you, Adam.” She responded, sitting back and reflecting for a moment on what about her name seemed to excite him.

  Chapter 2

  There was something about the look on Adam’s face that Destiny couldn’t get out of her mind. Something about the sound of his voice—a contagious warmth that radiated from him, and she envied the peacefulness of it that she felt almost immediately. The cabin of the plane was dark now and the light above her seat cast a small circle around her. There were a few other lights on throughout the cabin. She was feeling some kind of way—almost a nagging sense of discontent. Adam must have had the same problem because he had been squirming in his seat, trying, it seemed, to find a comfortable position; he must have because his eyes were now closed. Shutting her own eyes she let herself sink into a mental fog, neither awake nor asleep.

  It seemed she had been carried back in time. Time had healed some of the wounds, but nothing was ever going to be the same again. She was twenty-five and on the verge of turning twenty-six and two months ago her whole life changed. It was a regular Saturday in January. The weather was unusually warm for Charleston, South Carolina. Destiny should have known that a storm was brewing. The house was quiet when she returned home late following her trip with her aunt. Stanley must have left the hall light on for her after he’d gone out; she wasn’t surprised by his absence, he never greeted her at the door so she wasn’t expecting that but it would have been a nice change.
/>   Picking up her suitcase, she headed up the stairs to their bedroom only to find all of her things scattered throughout the room in disarray. Immediately her survival skills kicked in as she tried to remember her last conversation with Stanley. It had been on the Thursday before she was scheduled to leave. She had been in her office taking care of some last-minute details before leaving for the annual pig pickin’ held by her relatives every year on the third of January. A coworker came into her office to ask if she had heard the news.

  “Hey, girl. Are you almost ready to take that trip?”

  Destiny smiled. Shelia was the one person in her department whom she had come to really like. “I’m just about to get out of here. I have to take care of a few things before we hit the road.”

  Entering her office, Shelia leaned against her desk. “Well, I wanted to give you the latest news. You remember Curtis Watson, don’t you?”

  Destiny’s eyes narrowed into thin slits. “I remember him.” She snapped the folder in her hand, not looking up. “I really don’t care to know or hear anything about him.”

  “He’s getting married, Destiny.”

  Destiny looked into Shelia’s eyes, her pulse rate picking up frantically. “To whom?”

  “It’s Stanley’s ex-fiancée, Denise Jackson. The date is set for February fourteenth in Hilton Head. It’s supposed to be a big to-do.”

 

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