by Rachel Jonas
“I forgot. I have a… a thing,” she explained, offering nothing more than that.
It dawned on me I might be coming on too strongly anyway, so whatever this thing was she had to do might have been a blessing in disguise. Already, I walked her to school today and made plans to take her to the falls. That was probably enough for now. I didn’t want her to question my intentions. Guys tend to get weird when a pretty, new girl shows up in their town, especially towns like ours where the faces rarely change. They try to mark their territory, lay claim to the newcomer before anyone else can.
But this wasn’t anything like that.
I can admit to not always being the most sincere human being on the planet when it came to dating and hooking up, but with Evie, everything I said or did up to this point was completely genuine. I didn’t want anything from her; this wasn’t some ploy to get her in bed.
We just kind of… I don’t know… clicked.
Still, I realized I should probably cool it before she got the wrong idea.
“Of course. Sure,” I said casually. “See you around.”
She smiled when I turned to walk away. With my back to her, I racked my brain trying to remember the last time I had to pursue a girl; the last time I liked one enough to even try.
I couldn’t.
I left Evie’s locker and quite a few heads turned, but these stares had nothing to do with the video circulating around campus. These looks all came from girls, many of which I’d turned down over the years, some I dated for a month or two, and a few I connected with physically. The glares were all filled with venom and I could practically hear their loud thoughts, screaming ‘Why her?’
I shoved my hands into my pockets as my gaze lowered to the floor. A smile tugged at one corner of my mouth and the answer to the unspoken question that stabbed me from all directions filled my head.
‘Why her?’
It was Evie because she was different, because she was real and real was hard to come by in this place. It was her because she didn’t know my football stats or the influence my deceased grandfather’s name still had around here and, from what I could tell, she was into me anyway.
The real me.
I hadn’t experienced that in a long time. Maybe never, and you can’t blame me for wanting to see where it led. Only time would tell whether my hunch about her was right or not, but … for some reason, I had this unshakeable feeling she was worth the risk.
—
Chapter Six —
Evie
“How old are your kids?” My eyes were fixed on the two, paint-smudged faces in a silver frame on the corner of Dr. Cruz’s desk. While she jotted down a note after her last question, I’d taken to observing my surroundings—her office.
Before today, I kind of just sat here, waiting for my session to end, but now it felt like my eyes were open, finally seeing her as more than a piece of furniture in this large room. She was a person—complex and flawed just like the rest of us.
I think what made me really start paying attention was her hair, of all things. When I first walked in, I took note of how her dark roots had grown out, and of the unnatural shade of blonde she dyed the rest. For some reason, it made the cold exterior I perceived her to have warm up a little. It humanized her.
Now, here I sat, looking around her office for more clues into who she really was; this stranger I’d been forced to share my secrets with.
A half-eaten chocolate bar sat wrapped on the corner of the short bookcase near the window. Maybe she had a major affinity to sweets like I did. I imagined her standing there before I came in, getting her fix as she stared down on the open field below. She was so tall and thin it was hard to imagine her indulging in anything other than a pile of vegetables, but that just goes to show where making assumptions gets you.
My eyes shifted to Dr. Cruz’s, leaving the still image of her two sons when she cleared her throat. Not in that stern, ‘I’m an adult and you’re not allowed to ask me questions’ kind of way; however, I did get the feeling she was a bit uncomfortable with me prying into her life.
“Jason is eleven and Eli is nine,” she finally answered, wearing a tight smile I believe was meant to throw me off the fact that she didn’t want to talk about herself. Her statement right after made it clear she wanted our conversation to stay on track.
“Now, you were telling me about the talk you had with your parents this weekend. Do you feel it was productive?”
I thought about that, remembering the guilt afterward. “Productive, yes, but I owe them an apology for the way I reacted. I can’t imagine it’s easy being open about this after all the years they spent protecting me from it.”
I was pretty sure I saw the hint of a smile on her face. Maybe she was proud I’d come to that conclusion on my own, but it was gone so quickly I couldn’t be positive. She was busy writing again and my mind wandered as it often did when she wasn’t speaking. This time, I found myself wishing I’d been able to take Nick up on his offer to sit together at lunch. Our walk to school was nice—less awkward than I imagined it would be. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. I subscribed to the blog he brought up so, when we talked again, we’d have something to discuss.
Had this been a week ago, I would’ve been angry and bitter for missing the chance to hang out with him this hour, but given the latest vision I had of Liam—while I was wide awake—I decided to be more open to this whole therapy thing. No, I didn’t intend to tell Dr. Cruz about it, but I did suddenly feel being here was more necessary than before.
My thoughts went back to those woods, to the way it felt being one with him that night—breathing his air, feeling his rage.
Speaking to him.
Having him react to the sound of my voice.
I couldn’t ignore how powerful any of that was. Afterward, I felt… I don’t know… connected to him. It was as though he were real. Trust me, I know that sounds crazy. There was no way someone I merely dreamed about could actually exist in this tangible world. However, I still couldn’t shake the feeling, the bond I felt to this figment of my imagination.
“Any new dreams?” Dr. Cruz asked, cutting into my thoughts as if she heard them.
My eyes blinked a few times before finally settling on an answer. “No.”
Lying was the only way to avoid having to describe the dream that, technically, wasn’t a dream because I wasn’t asleep at the time.
“Well, we didn’t get to discuss much regarding how you’re adapting here, so let’s talk about that.”
I gave a half-hearted smile. “This is exactly where the conversation with my parents started.”
“Are they concerned with how you’re adjusting?”
I shrugged. “Yes and no. They want me to make friends and settle in. But part of me thinks that’s more for them than me.”
Dr. Cruz’s brow tensed. “How so?”
Warm air breezed over my lip when I exhaled. “I just…”
It was important I articulated this properly because I didn’t want to paint a bad picture of my parents in Dr. Cruz’s eyes.
“I think they feel guilty about everything,” I started again. “About moving me so far away from my friends; the whole adoption thing, although that’s behind us. I just think that, in general, they feel like my entire life has been uprooted.”
The room went out of focus and my thoughts lingered on the words that had just left my mouth.
“And… has it been?”
Her inquiry made me sink even deeper into myself, accidentally allowing feelings to seep inland like a creeping tide, feelings I was so used to pushing back. But for some reason, they flowed in today and I didn’t fight like I normally would have.
I nodded, answering the question truthfully for once. “Yeah, kind of.”
“And you’re allowed to feel that way.” She crossed one leg over the other and her expression softened. “A lot has changed for you, Evangeline. And while, no, you’re not a kid, you’re still young. You’re allowed to
be uncomfortable with how things are. Hurt even.”
My eyes met hers again when she said that. It did hurt. All of it to some degree—feeling like I’d been lied to for so long, not having any say in being snatched from the city I loved so close to finishing school. I felt like a chess piece being moved around a board on someone else’s whim and… it felt wrong. It felt like I was supposed to have more control over my life than what I did.
Mom always talked about how strong-willed and independent I was, even as a kid. So, maybe it was that side of me that rebelled against feeling so powerless. But, whatever the case, it didn’t do any good because here I was, sitting in this office.
“You know what I’m going to do?” Dr. Cruz said, standing to walk to her desk. When she got there, she sat behind her computer and typed a few words before finishing. “I’m setting you up with a peer mentor; someone to show you the ropes, help you settle in at Seaton Prep. Come to think of it, I should have done this from the very beginning.”
I was laughing before she even finished speaking. “No way. Nuh-uh.”
She seemed confused when I protested. Up until now, I’d been softer today, more agreeable than in most sessions, but I had to draw the line here.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I can make my own friends.” I heard the defensiveness in my tone before adding, “But I’m not interested. Truth is, we’ll be graduating in eight and a half months and I’ll be on the first train smokin’ back to Chicago where I belong. Believe me, I’m fine with the way things are.”
From across Dr. Cruz’s desk, she stared with little to no expression as I held the weak smile on my face. I really hoped she believed me, because the last thing I wanted was for one of my classmates to feel like they had to babysit me. I never needed to be coddled. Yeah, this transition was difficult, but I was going to be fine.
Dr. Cruz found what she searched for on her computer and jotted something down on a sticky note. Snatching it from the stack, she handed it to me.
“Here. She’s a good student, very involved, and she’ll be happy to help you.”
“But I don’t—”
“Agree to this and I’ll let you leave now,” was the carrot Dr. Cruz dangled in front of my face. She knew I hated coming here—not because I hated her; I simply didn’t want to be bothered.
A slick smile touched her mouth as she taunted me. “Do we have a deal?”
My eyes shifted to the clock. There were ten minutes left of lunch and, if I hurried, I might be able to find Nick. I thought about how disappointed he looked when I told him I had something to do and couldn’t meet.
With a deep sigh, I nodded. “Deal.”
Dr. Cruz was clearly pleased when I caved. “She’s in your fourth hour and I’ll give you until the end of the week to introduce yourself.”
I hated this, but, as usual, I was powerless.
My gaze went to the small square of paper I’d just stuck to my binder. Apparently, Beth Chadwick, whoever she was, would be my ‘peer mentor’.
*****
Nick
Heat spread from my neck to my face when my name was called again—someone else stopping by my lunch table to ask about the video. It’d been this way all morning—one person after the next bombarding me with questions. Questions and a slew of new nicknames. One in particular seemed to be sticking—Bruce Banner.
I hated it. All of it.
My friends, teammates, and I always took the two long tables near the wall of windows at the back of the cafeteria. It was our spot. A space that usually seated thirty to forty comfortably, was now occupied by more than a hundred—mostly seniors, but quite a few underclassmen as well. Lucas had been on a mission to convince me to enjoy the temporary, local-celebrity status, but I wasn’t feeling it. The attention was unwarranted and unwelcomed. If it’d been because our team won a game or something, then I’d enjoy it.
But not for this—blurry cellphone videos from various angles, capturing different views of what happened.
I braced the edge of the table and scooted my chair back a few inches, preparing to escape for a moment of peace. However, I looked up and saw Evie. Watching her move closer, it was like the rest of the room went dark, quiet, and all I could see was her.
A shy smile touched her lips and she waved when her eyes found mine. I smiled back, suddenly forgetting I ever wanted to leave this place. Long, light-caramel colored legs—free from the opaque tights that should’ve been covering them—crossed one in front of the other beneath the hem of her plaid skirt. She clutched both lapels of her blazer beside the straps of her backpack and I couldn’t turn away.
She looked like she fit in here, but I knew better than that.
A well-timed, hormone-induced, “Mmm mmm mmm”, spoken by Chris, made it abundantly clear I wasn’t the only one who noticed Evie. Now or ever. I’d heard her name mentioned a few times in the locker room—guys being guys, fantasizing about her in ways they’d never experience—but none of them had the balls to approach her. She didn’t exactly have an inviting demeanor, but that turned out to be a good thing for me. It kept the predators away until I got up the nerve to finally say something.
When she approached, I ignored the questions and conversations aimed at me, focusing only on her when I stood.
A breathy, “Hey,” made my chest feel tight. Just hearing her voice, being around her, excited me.
“Hey.” I was completely aware of how quiet the chatter around us became all of a sudden.
Her blue nails pushed tight curls behind her ear as her eyes shifted, looking everywhere but at me as she spoke again. “I, um… I finished that thing I had to do and… I thought I’d come find you.”
And I was happy she did.
I looked down, seeing that all the seats around me were filled. Without thinking, I shooed the freshman away who occupied the one to my left and he knew not to challenge me. When he scampered off, I held it out for Evie.
That shy smile came back and she held her skirt against the back of her thighs as she lowered into the chair. When I sat again, you could have heard a pin drop. All eyes, including those of my teammates, were set on Evie and I. It was probably obvious by now that I was interested in her, especially to those who’d seen us come in together this morning. They weren’t used to seeing me so openly into a girl, so I just had to let them stare at us like we were unicorns until the shock wore off.
The attention clearly made Evie uncomfortable, but there was nothing—short of handing out threats—I could do about it. The most I could hope for was that they’d grow bored of watching us and go back to their own conversations. The chances of that happening were slim to none, but I couldn’t let them put a damper on these few minutes I had to hang out with her again.
“How’s your day been so far?” I asked, realizing how intense my stare was before I finally blinked.
Her fleshy lips pursed together for a moment, like she wasn’t sure if it’d been good or bad before answering, “Okay, I guess.”
I nodded, glancing at her hands folded in her lap. I couldn’t tell if the nervousness was on account of me or if it was from all the stares.
I really wished they’d look away.
“I, um… I subscribed to that blog we were talking about earlier,” she said next, falling silent again right after.
I felt a rush of excitement hit my chest when I was reminded of how we connected during our walk. As badly as I wanted to recreate that moment now, I knew it would slip through our fingers, thanks to having an audience.
“Have you had time to check it out yet?”
Her head bobbed and she laughed a little. “I poked around the site a bit during second hour, but it was hard to navigate from under my desk. I’ll pull it up on my laptop when I get home, though. Looks interesting.”
Quiet conversations began to lull around us and, while I was sure at least a few of them were about Evie and I, I was grateful.
“Oh! I looked up the weather for this weekend and it’s
supposed to warm up again. Saturday will be in the mid-eighties.”
That was the norm for Michigan—we needed jackets one day and then it was back to shorts the next as summer bowed out, taking a backseat to autumn. However, the size of the gaps in the temp weren’t normal. From one day to the next, there was sometimes a forty-degree difference. That was unheard of even around here.
“Is that the day you want to visit the falls?” Evie asked. However, before I had the chance to answer…
“We’re going to the falls Saturday?” Lucas chimed in. Before this, he’d been quiet in his seat across the table, silently ogling Evie’s chest through her white button-up.
Yup, I saw him…
My eyes went to his and I tried to give him a look that said ‘Shut the heck up!’ but he didn’t catch on. Word spread down one side of the table and back up the other like wildfire. The day trip for two had, just that fast, turned into a group thing.
Frustrated, I ran a hand down my face, turning to Evie right after. “We can go someplace else if you want. I didn’t mean for this to—”
“It’s fine,” she smiled, and I believed her. “You said you wanted me to hang out with you guys sometimes, so… it’ll be fun,” she added.
I was just getting ready to thank her for being so understanding, but I was interrupted by a cellphone being shoved in my face from behind, so close it took a moment to focus on the screen.
“It’s from a new angle,” came a voice, one I quickly recognized to be Maddox’s. He was, perhaps, the most intrigued by what happened than anyone. Maybe because it was his truck I mangled. Either way, from whatever vantage point the video was taken, I wasn’t interested.
“It’s cool. I’ll check it out later,” I said dismissively, really not wanting to do this with Evie sitting here.
“No, dude. You have to watch this one. You can see, plain as day, the moment of impact—the second the metal meets your shoulder.”