Fractured Hearts
Page 29
Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss to his forehead and whispered, “You are deserving.” She turned and left, before closing the door softly behind her.
Kegan sat and stared at the closed door for long moments. What the hell had just happened? Mrs. M had never bit her tongue or held back her thoughts, so it shouldn’t have surprised him that she would give him her opinion now.
He simply didn’t want to have to think or feel, but obviously Trevor and Mrs. M weren’t inclined to allow that. Kegan reached down and picked up the small boxes she had left for him, let his fingers brush across the soft velvet fabric.
He took a deep breath. Inside the first box, he recognized Charlie’s locket. He carefully disengaged the delicate clasp, expecting to see the same picture of him when he was a boy.
Instead, there were two tiny pictures, recent ones of him and Trevor. He closed the box, setting it back on the nightstand before he opened the next. Inside was a small masculine, cross-shaped locket and a small piece of paper pushed into the lid. He lost his breath when he discovered inside the locket were pictures of himself and Charlie on each side. This one was meant for Trevor, so he didn’t read what was obviously a note.
He closed the box and placed it next to Charlie’s. Kegan held the last box, his big hands trembling. He knew what he would find inside and still couldn’t make his fingers. He stared at it, let the shaking in his hands settle and his heart restart before opening it.
Inside was another masculine cross, but this one contained pictures of Trevor and Charlie. He gently closed the locket and removed the note from the lid.
Kegan,
You and Trevor have made me feel complete. For the first time in my life, I feel whole. I spent most of my life dreaming of a future with you and now my dreams have come true, but my dreams were never as perfect as my reality. I never thought I would ever love anyone as much as I’ve always loved you, but I’m so glad I was wrong. You and Trevor are my future and I promise to love you both with every beat of my heart forever.
Thank you for completing me.
Love always,
Charlie
Kegan sat and stared at the letter. He read it over and over until he knew every line by heart, and still he stared at it, thinking. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there when he finally ran a hand over his damp face and pulled himself together enough to replace the note in the box and set it next to the other two.
He’d finally made a decision and wasn’t sure if he had waited too long. He wasn’t even sure he’d made the right decision, but he knew what he had to do.
Kegan stood and walked out of his room in search of his best friend. It was time they talked about their future, which included all three of them.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Charlie sighed in relief when she walked into her room at the Howard Johnson. Not that the room was anything special, but the air conditioning was on full blast and instantly cooled her sweat-dampened skin.
Now she remembered why she hated Florida. The thermometer might have read in the mid-eighties, but the humidity had her feeling as if she’d been dropped into the bowels of hell.
“Geez, how in the hell do these people breathe with the air so heavy and wet?” She dropped her bag next to the door and stripped off her damp clothes. A shower sounded damn fine right about now.
The room looked like most big hotel chains, the only difference was the colors were all in pale blues, tans and creams and the pictures on the walls were of seascapes instead of landscapes. The bedspread on the large king-size bed was the same gaudy pattern as most hotel rooms except done in the colors of the beach and ocean rather than the normal dark greens and burgundies.
She set her cell phone on the small table next to the only chair in the room. She’d turned it off after about the third time it had vibrated with a new message from Trevor. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to him, just not tonight. She was bone-weary and in her current state wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t give into his demands that she tell him where she was.
She had a hard enough time winning battles with him when she was fully awake and happy, being tired and miserable just asked for failure. She’d call Rae, let her know that she’d made it and everything was good. But first, she wanted a cool shower and a cup of coffee. By then, maybe the effects of the airport lounge indulgence would be out of her system.
After a quick shower, Charlie pulled on a pair of old sweats and a T-shirt then took her cup of coffee out onto the balcony to let her hair dry naturally. It only took ten minutes to realize what a really bad idea it was. She was sweating like a stuffed pig and retreated back into the cool air of her room with damp, frizzy hair. She pulled the big chair over to the closed sliding window and sipped her coffee as she took in the sights. The humidity might have totally sucked but the view was amazing. Just below her balcony was a small crystal-clear pool set between the hotel and a small cabana bar, and beyond the bar was a beautiful beach and ocean. Maybe she could take a walk along the beach later when the sun went down or first thing in the morning. Surely, it couldn’t be this hot all day and night.
She set down her mug, grabbed her cell and dialed Rae’s number.
“Hey, Charlie, I take it you made it okay?”
“Hi, yeah, it was a good flight. I didn’t puke or panic or anything, but holy hell, it’s hot here. Why didn’t you talk me out of this?”
Rae chuckled into the phone. “Like I could have. You’re a woman on a mission and nothing short of me hog-tying you would have kept you from going.”
Charlie had put a lot of thought into leaving, but not a lot into the impulsive flight to Florida. Still, even with the heat, she didn’t regret coming. She really needed the time alone and a change of scenery. Florida had seemed like the best way to get it at the time. “Thanks for dropping everything and giving me a ride, I owe you one.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Rae insisted. “In fact, I owe you big-time.”
“Huh?”
“Well from what I can gather, Trevor stormed off the ranch looking for anyone who may have seen you. He called my cell phone a couple of times as well, but I didn’t answer. I wanted to talk to you before I talked to him. Anyhoo, I guess Cade figured he’d call and give me a heads-up that your cocky cowboy was looking for me. I may have mentioned that I might need someone big and strong to protect me and keep me out of the house for a while.”
Charlie couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it to Rae to use someone else’s drama to get herself a cowboy. “I take it Cade volunteered to be your bodyguard?”
“Nope, not yet, but I’m hoping after he takes me out to dinner later tonight, he’ll be guarding my body.”
“You have no shame.”
“Well, what could I do? I mean, the man is a living god, and you have a lot of room to talk, Miss ‘I need two cowboys to satisfy me’.”
Charlie winced at the comment about her two cowboys. She didn’t have two anymore and each time she was reminded of what she’d lost made her want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and wish the world away.
There was never going to be one man who could satisfy her like Kegan and Trevor did, and not just sexually.
Trevor had proven to be a rock, had kept her strong and made her want to get out of bed each morning, even when half of her had been dying as Kegan had withdrawn further from them. He was demanding and cocky, but he was also so loving and carefree that he had been the bridge that had allowed her and Kegan to find each other again.
Kegan, on the other hand, was quiet and gentle. He was the one who liked picnics, riding and spending quiet time together. But he was fierce and aggressive when he needed to be.
The two of them together made for the perfect man.
“You still there?”
“Yeah, just thinking. I guess I have a lot on my mind right now, kinda zone in and out at times.”
“Well, just don’t be thinking on all the negative crap and none of the good. If I know anythin
g for sure, it’s that those two men love you and you love them. It will work out. I have to believe that, because if you don’t deserve your happily ever after, what chance do the rest of us have?”
“Thanks, Rae. I’m just not so sure this was the happily ever after I was meant to have. I know Kegan’s hurting, but he promised me he wouldn’t leave me or let me go again, and he’s already broken it.” She blinked back the tears. They weren’t helping. “Not sure I can give him a third chance.”
“Hey, I know you’ll do what’s right for you in this. You’re strong and however this plays out, you’ll make it through.”
“Thanks, I’m gonna go see if I can get room service to bring me some more coffee and a bite to eat. I’ll call you later in the week, okay?”
“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll talk to Trevor before Cade gets here, let him know you’re okay and to give you some time. Want me to give him a message for you?”
Charlie thought about that for a second, and then realized there was nothing she could say to make him feel any better. “No, I don’t think so. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Charlie, love you.”
“Love you too.” She turned off the phone and set it back on the table. Maybe tomorrow she’d think about turning it back on to check the messages, but right now she just wanted to stop thinking.
She hoped her brain would take the hint and give her what she needed tonight.
Peace.
* * * *
“Goddammit,” Trevor roared before he threw the phone across the room, watching it shatter as it hit the wall.
He was pissed and just fucking shaking. If he didn’t find Charlie soon, he was going to lose his goddamned mind. What the hell was she thinking, going off all alone and leaving him worried as hell?
Oh, he was so going to spank that stubborn, pigheaded, sexy ass but good when he got his hands on her. At least had Kegan come to his senses and was ready to talk.
Trevor just wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss him for finally waking up or kick his ass from one end of the ranch to the other for getting his head straight one day too late.
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and rested his elbows on the desk. How was he supposed to find someone who didn’t want to be found but desperately needed to be?
“Thought you might need this.”
He looked up and cocked an eyebrow at Kegan just as he set a cordless down in front of him. “What the hell for? I don’t know who else to call.”
Kegan took the chair across from his desk. He looked so tired and drawn, with big dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. Trevor wanted to be pissed at him, to yell and scream that it was his fucking fault Charlie had left.
Dammit, he just wanted to fight with someone. To fight and scream and smash shit sounded a whole lot better than the pain and emptiness he was experiencing at the moment. Yet as much as he wanted to blame someone, he took one look at Kegan and knew that whatever he said wouldn’t punish Kegan any more than he had already done to himself.
Kegan shrugged. “Figured you’d want it in case it rang. I take it Rae wouldn’t tell you where she’s gone to?”
“That little shit knows where Charlie is and I even threatened to beat her within an inch of her life, then apologized, begged and pleaded. She still wouldn’t cave.”
He had half a mind to hunt Rae down and spank her stubborn ass too. Get some practice in before he had to give Charlie a matching red ass for not answering the phone. Maybe he’d give her an extra swat for turning the damn thing off and make all calls go straight to voicemail. He’d already left about ten messages.
Kegan stared at his hands as he fidgeted with his fingers. The man needed some sleep and if he didn’t get it soon, he was going to fall flat on his face. At least a few winks before they found Charlie. Trevor needed him to be coherent if they were going to talk Charlie into coming home where she belonged.
Trevor stood and picked up the phone from the desk before he moved around to stand in front of Kegan and held out his hand. “C’mon, I’m taking you to bed and you’re gonna get some sleep, then we’ll go find her and bring her home.”
“Not sure I can sleep,” Kegan responded but took Trevor’s hand and stood up, allowing himself to be led out of the room and up the stairs to the room they’d shared with Charlie.
Kegan hesitated upon entering their room, but Trevor gave him a push and helped him take off his boots and clothes, then pushed him onto his stomach on the big bed and under the covers.
Kegan folded his arms and rested his head on them. “I don’t know if I can sleep.”
“Sure you can, ’cause I’m going to help you,” Trevor assured him. He set the phone on the bedside table, stripped down to his boxers and climbed onto the bed.
“I don’t know if I can get it up,” Kegan remarked and yawned.
“Oh trust me, I could get it up for you if I was so inclined,” he commented, then straddled Kegan and sat on his ass.
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am. I’ll prove it later.”
Kegan lifted his head and looked at him with a strange expression, but Trevor simply smiled and let Kegan chew on the suggestive implication. Trevor pressed his palms against Kegan’s lower back and, keeping firm pressure, ran them up along Kegan’s spine.
“Damn that feels good,” Kegan groaned and closed his eyes.
Trevor didn’t comment, just let the silence fall over them. He massaged Kegan’s shoulders and up and down his back, working out all the little knots he found until Kegan’s breathing became deep and even. Once Kegan was lightly snoring, Trevor carefully slid off Kegan and lay next to him.
Trevor wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep, but he was glad he was able to help the big guy get a little. They had talked most of the day about what had been going on in Kegan’s head and how they needed to keep the lines of communication open if this was going to work.
Kegan didn’t promise he could overcome his insecurities, instead had said, “My promises don’t mean much.” But at least he had agreed he would try his damnedest. Trevor inched closer to Kegan and gently rubbed along the small of Kegan’s back, keeping him relaxed and loose. He had no doubt they could work this out and be what each other needed them to be. They had enough love to go around, but didn’t do so well at showing it all the time.
It was something he planned on working on. Kegan and Charlie were damn stubborn, but he had his own difficult streak in him and when he wanted something as badly as he did Kegan and Charlie, he could be downright pit bullish in getting what he wanted.
He had half his family where they belonged and tomorrow he’d work at getting his other half home, happy and safe.
Chapter Thirty
A cold front had moved into Florida, or at least that was what the weatherman called it.
It was a gorgeous, seventy-something day and no humidity. In Charlie’s world, it was perfection. The cooler temperatures and it being midweek during a time of year when tourism wasn’t real big left the beach practically deserted. Which was fine with her. She needed the peace and quiet seeing as she was going to stop being a coward and listen to her voicemail. When that was done, she would call her men and tell them she was coming home.
She’d spent the last couple of days trying to do the same thing that had always worked for her in the past—avoid painful thoughts and feelings by hiding them behind a confident, untouchable façade. This time it wasn’t working. Truth be told, it really hadn’t worked that well in the past either and it worked not at all now that she didn’t want it to.
She was totally in love with two stubborn cowboys and instead of hiding and pretending the world couldn’t hurt her this time, she was going back to Redfield and take what she wanted. She’d show Kegan how much of a bichito she could be.
Right after she listened to her voicemails she would grovel on her hands and knees, beg Trevor’s forgiveness—for worrying him, that was.
Charli
e sighed and pushed the voicemail button on her cell phone.
“You have fifteen new messages. First new message.”
“Hey, Charlie, gonna be a little late getting back to snuggle, couple of the hands are out sick. Should be home by lunch. Love you.”
“Next new message.”
“Where are you? Mrs. M said she saw you heading out with Rae. You know, it wouldn’t hurt to leave me a note. I’d hoped to have lunch with you, maybe a mid-afternoon snuggle. Call me when you get this. Bye.”
“Next new message.”
“Dammit, Charlie, where are you? It’s after six and I can’t get hold of you or Rae. You’re starting to worry me. Please, baby, just call me and let me know you’re okay.”
“Next new message.”
“Hey, Charlie, it’s Rae, just got off the phone with Trevor. I know you wanted some time alone to think and shit, but the man is going out of his head. I think I have him calmed down some, at least he’s not threatening to call out the FBI after you, now he’s just threatening to spank me. What do ya think, should I let him?”
“Next new message.”
“What the hell were you thinking taking off like this? Goddamn, Charlie, how the fuck are we going to work this all out if you’re off God knows where alone? I know this shit with Kegan ain’t right, but if we work together, we can bring him back. I know we can, but I need you here to help me. Fuck, Charlie, don’t do this.”
“Next new message.”
“Threatening Rae within an inch of her life didn’t work. Shit, didn’t think I would ever meet anyone as stubborn as you, but she may be right up there with you. Anyway, not sure if you’re listening to your voicemail but wanted to say goodnight and sweet dreams. I miss you. Please stay safe for us. I love you.”