The Marvellous Land of Snergs

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The Marvellous Land of Snergs Page 7

by Edward Wyke Smith

“Look here, Golithos,”said Gorbo, “can you give this little dog something to eat? “

  Golithos scratched his head.” Let me see—I suppose he doesn’t eat salad? “

  “No, he doesn’t. He’s a dog, not a grasshopper. Haven’t you got any bread? “

  “I may have some odd bits in a sack somewhere. You see I don’t eat bread very much. I find its heating to the blood. But I’ll try to find some nice bits for him later. In the meantime, let us eat heartily. Would you like the chair or do you prefer standing? “

  “Chair for me, thanks,” replied Gorbo, seating himself.

  “Look here, Golithos, this is all very kind and considerate and jolly of you, but these young ones will want something a bit solider than this.”

  “No solids here,” said Golithos quickly.” It wouldn’t do.”

  “Well, you’ve got a cow outside. Why don’t you give them some milk?”

  “Milk? Yes, but do you think it would be good for them? It’s rather heady stuff.”

  Gorbo clapped the table smartly.” You hop out and milk that old cow of yours 1”he said loudly.” These children want milk. They can’t live on lip and lettuce.”

  Golithos looked fearfully abashed.” Yes, yes, I’ll go,” he said.” Don’t be violent.” He blundered out and down the steps.

  “Can’t quite make him out,” said Gorbo.” He was a wicked old rascal once, but if he was rough he was ready—and a bit interesting if you’re not too particular. But I think the watercress diet has weakened his brain.”

  He felt his responsibility in the matter keenly; if he had not been a born fool he would not have got the children into this’ mess; and his easy-going disposition seemed to have suddenly disappeared with regard to his host. After a minute he jumped out of the big chair and ran to the window and poked his head out.” Golithos!” he called in a warning voice.” Waiting! “

  Golithos appeared, bearing a pitcher of milk and looking highly flustered.” Shall I put some water in it?” he asked.

  “Give it to me,” ordered Gorbo, taking the pitcher. He looked round the littered table and found two earthenware mugs.” Wash them,” he said, passing them over his shoulder to Golithos.” Dear, dear, this is barely decent! “

  The milk at any rate was nice and warm, and the children felt greatly refreshed by it. A small bowlful was given to Tiger, who lapped it up and then went to sleep on a sack. Then all set to on the salad, Golithos standing by and pressing them to take more whenever they paused. Gorbo took his portion in a dissatisfied way, sometimes looking at a morsel with scorn before putting it into his mouth (I may mention that they were eating with their fingers; there were no forks in this disgusting ménage). After a time he made a crude attempt at polite conversation.

  “Doing well here, Golithos? “he asked.

  “Pretty well, thank you. Oh, yes. It’s lonely, of course; people seem to shun me so. But I have plenty of time to meditate on my past sins.”

  “Ah, that ought to fill in the time. Keeping pretty fit, Golithos?”

  “Tolerably so, thank you. I suffer from stomach trouble occasionally.

  “Only occasionally, eh? That’s strange. Sleep well, Golithos?”

  “Fairly well, I thank you. I have nightmares sometimes.”

  “What do you expect? This all you’re going to give us, Golithos?”

  “I’m really afraid I haven’t anything else—Yes, I have! I can give you a fine fresh young cucumber.”

  “Keep it, Golithos.” Gorbo stretched himself and yawned and turned to the children.” Well, Sylvia, what do you think of this for a hole? “

  Sylvia glanced at the feeble though gigantic face of the once child-eater and felt some pity for him.” Oh, it’s very nice,” she answered, though not, I am afraid, very truthfully.” Isn’t it, Joe? “

  “It’s fine,” said Joe. Then he put his hands before his mouth and spluttered, for his manners were not good. Their host looked very unhappy.

  “Just fancy it on a rainy day,” went on Gorbo.” Well, Golithos, what’s the country like in these parts? “

  “I don’t know very much about it, because I don’t go about very much, but I’ve heard it’s very bad. You see there’s the land of King Kul not so very far off, and he’s got a very bad character.”

  “Yes, we’ve heard of him. What does he do especially? “

  “Well, he persecutes the people. You see he makes a hobby of it. And from what I’ve heard they’re the sort of people who ought to be persecuted. But I don’t really know much about them because I don’t often see any of them. And when I do I lock myself up tight until they’ve gone. Old Mother Meldrum comes over to see me sometimes and she tells me about the goings-on.”

  “And who’s old Mother Meldrum? “

  “Well, she’s a witch, that’s what she is. She says nothing. will go right until King Kul is laid out, and she keeps trying to get me to go for it. But somehow or other I don’t feel up to violent exercise since I got reformed.”

  “You’re losing your nerve, Golithos. But why doesn’t somebody else try to do him in? “

  “I think it’s because they’re afraid. It’s risky, you see. Mother Meldrum says that his castle is three-quarters dungeons. And he keeps six headsmen busy all the time except’ on Saturday afternoons and Sundays.”

  “That fits in with what I’ve heard of him myself,” said Gorbo, looking anxiously at Sylvia and Joe, who were taking all this in.” But cheer up, Sylvia, we’ll soon get out of it. Now, Golithos, what about how to get across the river? “

  Golithos Explains

  The giant took Gorbo by the arm and led him to the window.” Do you see that tree? “he asked, pointing out a tall pine standing far off.

  “Yes, Golithos.”

  “Well, that tree’s close by the river, and I pointed it out because it’s quite useless your trying to get across the river at that point. Or for the matter of that, at any other point, if you understand me.”

  “Well, I don’t, if you understand me. I can tell you fifty ways how not to get across the river. Rouse your wits, Golithos!”

  “You make me nervous. And if you do that you’ll drive all the fine ideas out of my head. You see the fact is that you don’t get across the river at all. But, notwithstanding, it’s a perfectly easy matter to get to the other side if you know the way how. Now do you see my point? “

  “I thought I was something of a born fool, Golithos, but since I’ve met you I’m quite proud of myself.”

  “Don’t speak to me like that; it gives me the all-overs. Look here, all you have to do -is to go under the river. You go through a little door.”

  “I thought so. You’ve been a long time coming to it, Golithos. As a matter of fact we came that way, but the little door shut up tight as soon as we got out of it. And there’s another door on the other side. How do we get them open? “

  “It’s quite easy. But I don’t quite remember how it’s done—now don’t get violent! You see it’s not exactly difficult; it’s only something to do with some little magic spells. You make a circle on the ground and divide it into six parts or sixteen parts, I forget which. And then you bring some simple little charms—twenty-eight altogether, I think. I know one of them is the toenail of the seventh son of a seventh son born on a Friday. And then you repeat something out of a book—oh, if you’re going to look at me like that I shall get thoroughly nervous and forget the rest.”

  “Look here, Golithos,”said Gorbo, “do you think Mother Meldrum has more sense than you?”

  “Oh, yes, she’s got ever so much more! She knows the way to get the door open.”

  “Oh, does she? Then where can we find her? “

  “She may come here at any time. You see she comes because I amuse her—at least that’s what she says—and if you wait here a day or two she’
s bound to turn up. I can give you a lovely room upstairs. I’ll move the turnips to one side and give you some nearly clean straw to sleep on. I’d give my own bed to the little ones, but I’m afraid the mattress is rather bumpy; I think some brickbats must have got into it. You see I air the mattress every November, and last November I was doing some building, and as there were a few holes in it, you see—”

  “Don’t worry, Golithos, we’ll take your upstairs room. So come and move the turnips.”

  The Upstairs Room

  The upstairs room was much worse than the one below, which is saying something. It was furnished chiefly with turnips and sacks of lime, and these Golithos began to move to one side in a muddle-headed way, while Gorbo sat on the window ledge and watched him. At length there was a clear space for the straw, which was spread out in the manner advocated for sick horses.

  “There! “said Golithos proudly, resting on his hay-fork, “There’s a bed for you! “

  Gorbo only snorted and said nothing, and there was silence for a time.

  “Those are dear little children,” remarked Golithos, trying to be amiable and interesting.

  “Yes,” said Gorbo shortly.

  “It’s a long time since I saw any. In my bad old days I saw plenty, as you know, but I thought it best—after I reformed—to keep away from them for a good long time.”

  “Sound idea.”

  “Yes, wasn’t it? But as I say, these are very dear little things, especially the little girl. Do you know,” he went on chattily, “it used to be a saying amongst us in the bad old days that the lighter the hair the tenderer the meat—however, I don’t suppose that interests you.”

  “Not a bit.”

  “Of course not. But I have taken quite a strong liking to these little ones. The little girl is very pretty, and they are both well formed. Not fat exactly. I should describe them as well filled out. Chubby, if you understand my meaning.”

  Gorbo slipped down from the window and went down the ladder in a leisurely way.” Tidy up the place properly,” he ordered as he went.

  Golithos obediently went on messing about, crooning a little song about a rose that loved a butterfly and faded away.

  Gorbo’s Doubts

  It will probably occur to the thoughtful reader at this point that a change had come over the character of Gorbo. A sense of responsibility, mingled with self-reproach, had brought forth qualities hitherto unsuspected, and though he was to some extent losing his natural desire to please all whom he met by conciliatory speech and helpful ways, he was gaining in ability to make quick decisions, as also in verbal fluency and a capacity for what is known among our famed comedians as backchat.

  He found the children in the cabbage patch trying to amuse themselves with Tiger, but not succeeding very well because they were getting very tired of this dismal place. Their surroundings were horrible—all nettles and cheap-looking vegetables and rank grass and stones, and a high wall (on which were lots of snails) shutting out everything but the sky. Sylvia took the puppy to show to the cow, which was the only nice thing in the place and which lived in a rotten old shed in a corner, and Gorbo then had a chance to talk to Joe.

  “Joe,” he said, “I don’t want to frighten Sylvia, but you’re a man like me. It seems to me that this is not a healthy place to stay in very long. In the first place we’ll get bored to screaming fits, and in the second place I’m having doubts of old Golithos.”

  “Oo-er! “said Joe, now thoroughly startled.

  “Yes, I’m beginning to think he’s not so reformed as he thinks he is. Of course it may be only my fancy, but I’m not going to take any risks, and you and Sylvia must keep close by me always. We’ll have to stay here a little while because, though it’s plain that he won’t be able to tell us how to get those little. doors open, that old witch may come along at any time, and then I can get it out of her. I’ll give her my drinking horn to tell us how; it’s the only thing I’ve got that’s worth anything, but it’s got silver on it and perhaps it’ll do. But if it’s not enough I’m afraid Sylvia will have to give over her little coral necklace. I don’t know what witches’ charges are, but I should say the two together would be plenty.”

  “But won’t it be awfully risky staying here? “asked Joe. This was becoming rather more of an adventure than he had bargained for.

  “Not so much, because you won’t go out of my sight and I’ve. always got my bow tucked under my arm. Of course I could make it quite safe by sending an arrow through his hairy old throat, but somehow I don’t quite like to do it until I’m dead certain sure. But don’t you worry, Joe. And don’t let Sylvia know.”

  The day wore on. They had a light supper of cold sliced turnips and some of the milk that was left over from the midday feast. They gave a third part of the milk to Tiger in order to moisten some very hard crusts that Golithos found for him. Tiger did not worry, it was quantity he wanted, not quality, and his little abdomen began to take on bold curves again.

  Golithos is Tempted

  The night passed without trouble. The children slept soundly on their straw; Gorbo had made his bed on top of the trapdoor so they felt safe enough. But in the morning there was more than a hint that some good old-fashioned trouble was coming. Said Golithos to Gorbo (taking him quietly aside by the arm), “Would you oblige me by keeping these dear little children always close by you? “

  Said Gorbo to Golithos (removing his arm), “I’m going to. But not particularly to oblige you. What’s the little game? “

  “It is no little game; it is something more serious. , You see I have a horrid fear that I may go back to my oId disgraceful ways. The sight of these dear little plump things is a very, very great temptation to me, and I want you to help me to fight against it. I don’t want you to go away, because if I don’t have the temptation there will be no credit in conquering it-and I .really hope and believe that I will be able to. Do you know that last night I wanted to have a look at them asleep, but I couldn’t open the trap-door. There seemed to be something heavy on it.”

  “There was,” said Gorbo.

  “I thought so. And then, do you know, I came down and sat thinking about them, and after a time I found myself sharpening a big knife in an absent-minded way. It gave me quite a shock. Now promise me that you will help me to overcome this temptation.”

  “Oh, I’ll help you,” replied Gorbo.

  He called to Sylvia and Joe to come down and to bring Tiger, and then he went with them down the steps to the door in the outer wall.

  “Come and open this door, Golithos,”he called.

  “Oh, you’re surely not thinking of leaving me!” exclaimed Golithos, clumping down after them.” I shall be greatly upset if you run, away like that.”

  Gorbo jerked out an arrow and laid it on his bow.

  “You’ll be more upset in a moment perhaps,” he said, “if that door isn’t opened before I count ten there’ll be three of these sticking out of your silly fat head.”

  Golithos jumped for the door and had it open just as Gorbo had counted up to six. As the children passed out, shrinking away from him, he bent down and held out his hand to them.

  “Goodbye, little dears,” he said.” Won’t you shake hands with an old reformed person? Oh, this is unkind! “

  Gorbo put his arrow back in the quiver and stood for a moment looking up at him.” You stick to watercress,” he said tauntingly.” Watercress and cold water. A slice of mangel-wnrzel for Christmas. That’s about your form.”

  “You have hurt me,” said Golithos, drawing himself to his full height (seven feet, one inch). His tone was not without a certain dignity.

  “Get inside! “shouted Gorbo, slipping out an arrow again.” I’m not so sure I shan’t—”

  But Golithos had scuttled in and banged the door .and locked it. They walked along a narrow stony track that led towards some rising
ground. Looking back, they saw the head of Golithos peeping over the top of his wall. So far as they could judge at that distance it had a wistful look.

  Beyond the Tower

  When they had got to the other side of the rising ground and the tower was hidden from view, Gorbo paused in order to take off his cap and tear his hair a little. Then he embraced both children remorsefully, and they gave him such words of comfort as occurred to them.

  “The next question,” he said, rousing himself, “is the question of what we are to do next.” If I knew where Mother Meldrum lived, we’d go straight there at once. But I don’t know, and it’d be hopeless my going back to ask Golithos. I’ve scared what little wits he had clean out of him.”

 

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