A Broken Fate (The Beautiful Fate Series book 2)
Page 11
Julia and I both squealed and Rory and Ari rolled their eyes at us. August filled us in on all the details and once the coffee was gone, the paper was read, and the sleeping crowd of people had dispersed, we made our way out on to the pool deck for an afternoon in the sun.
Ari and I stayed put on the hammock, he was getting himself caught up on some things for baio he seemed to be getting the hang of Margaux’s requests just fine. I even think he enjoyed the work.
Rory, August, Julia, Lauren, her new boyfriend Luke, Andy and Aggie, Nick, Gianna and Thais were all over and playing volleyball in our pool.
“Is he Greek?”
Ari looked up from his work.
“What?”
“Luke, is Luke Greek?”
Ari pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes. He isn’t like you or me. He is not a descendant but he is Greek.”
So stupid. I thought to myself and suppressed an eye roll. I didn’t want to fight with Ari. I looked up at him and smiled then planted a little kiss on his lips.
“You can join them, you know,” I said referring to his family splashing around and laughing in our pool.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to leave you.”
“Please, Ari,” I said, this time rolling my eyes, playfully. “I can tell you’re dying to get your mom’s hair wet so just do it already.”
He laughed, “Why on Earth would she get in the pool if she didn’t want to get her hair wet?”
“Do it!” I said encouraging him.
He set his iPad and glasses down on the table next to me and snuck off the patio and down to the pool deck unnoticed. He did a cannonball, creating a huge splash right in front of Aggie. She yelled at him and splashed him back playfully, then, defending his wife, Andy jumped on Ari’s shoulders and dunked him in the pool. I watched fondly at the close-knit relationship that Ari had with his parents – with his whole family – and I couldn’t help but feel that I was pushing a wedge between us by keeping the dark secrets I had of the remaining Kakos to myself. I thought about Nick’s secret from the family – his undisclosed relationship with Misha. I was wrong to judge him. I was keeping a big, life-threating secret from them. They were all in danger because of me; I rolled over away from the group and wept quietly to myself.
Ari had Sublime blaring through the speakers but still I somehow managed to cry myself to sleep. Dreams came, as always: shadows, scissors, and images of my loved ones dying horrible deaths. Dreams of me killing others, murdering them in cold blood.
When I woke up, it was dusk and I was covered with Ari’s towel. The smell of charcoal on the grill wafted in the air. August was in the middle of telling the story about the killing of No. 4. I had never shared those details with the family. Somehow, August managed to make the story, the same one that haunted my sleep at night, sound funny. I sat up and stretched. August noticed me and fell silent.
“Sorry, Ava,” he said quietly.
I waved him off, “nah, Aug, don’t worry about it.” My joints popped as I stretched again. “It’s your story, too. We do seem to remember the important details a little differently, though.”
“Well, if that’s the case, maybe you should tell it,” he said, as I made my way over to the patio table. There weren’t any seats left so I climbed up on Ari’s lap and ran my fingers through his hair.
“You should have woken me up, I didn’t intend to fall asleep.”
“No way; you looked so peaceful in your sleep for once.”
“That’s strange; I had nothing but weird nightmares that involved me killing your mom.”
Ari laughed.
“That’s not funny!” Aggie snapped.
“I didn’t intend it to be. I love you, Aggie, very much. I can’t help what I dream.” I smiled at her. Aggie gave up on being angry and smiled back.
Ari’s family, our family, gathered around our pool and shared stories and laughs, ate, drank and star gazed until slowly people began to head for home, one at a time. After the last goodbye was said and the final hug given, for the first time in what felt like forever, Ari and I were alone. We very quickly found our way to our bedroom. I insisted on taking a shower so Ari opted to join me and we found no need for a bed after all.
Chapter 12
Half Truth
I love living with Ari. He is a crazy music fan and has wireless Bluetooth speakers throughout our entire home. Every morning, Ari puts a different song on and we dance in the bathroom together while we brush our teeth. In the morning of Ari’s first day back to baio, he could tell I was dreading our separation. He turned on Brad Sucks and turned up “Making Me Nervous.”
“Here we go,” he said, quoting the first line of the song. Then he turned our bathroom into a private dance club. He and I danced together and I giggled at how silly we probably looked. Ari’s ploy to make me smile had worked. Dressed in his here-I-am-world suit and all ready for work, he looked even funnier – the serious professional acting so carefree. When the song was over, he grabbed his cell off the bathroom sink and laced his fingers together behind the small of my back.
“If you need me for anything, anything at all, please, please call me, Ava. Call my cell, call my office, call my assistant. Please.”
“I will. But I won’t need to; I’m fine,” I nodded reassuringly.
Ari ran his thumb across my lips.
“I’ll check in on you in a couple of hours. My mom is home next door if you…”
“Ari,” I smiled, “I am fine. Go! You are going to be late!”
“OK, love you.”
I bit at the inside of my lip.
“Love you, too….oh, wait! Can you give something to Margaux for me?” I asked as I rushed to our study and grabbed a big, fat manila envelope that was stuffed to the brim with cash.
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
“Money. I finally arranged to buy my car back; I am going to have Rory drive it home for me this weekend,” I smiled.
“Ava, you bought a car! Why don’t you tell me these things?” Ari looked angry.
I frowned.
“I did not buy a car. I bought my old car back and I guess I just forgot to mention it. I made the deal with Margaux right before our trip to Greece and it just slipped my mind.”
Ari sighed, “I will cancel the car I ordered for you then.” He took the envelope; he gave me another kiss goodbye, urged me to call him, and then closed the door.
I waited for a moment in our quiet house. The garage door creaked shut. I closed my eyes and listened to the pings of wind-tossed sand hit our windows. I listened to the icemaker churn and dump fresh ice in the freezer bin. I swallowed with great effort, the uneasiness I felt of being alone causing constriction in my throat, and then jumped out of my skin when the dryer buzzer went off. I ran out the back door, onto the patio and across the deck to the pool house.
“Hi.”
“Bonjour,” August mumbled, yawned and stretched his arms above his head. “What’s up?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Nothing… what are you doing?”
August looked at me unsmiling.
“Well, I was sleeping until you pounded on my door and woke me up… so now I am standing here in my boxers waiting for you to tell me whatever the hell it is you need to tell me at eight in the morning.”
“Right. Sorry. Just making sure you have everything you need, or whatever.”
August opened the pool house door all the way and gestured for me to enter. He walked back to the bedroom and came back out a few minutes later wearing a pair of charcoal dress pants and buttoning up a white dress shirt. He was due to start his first day of work at nine. I was seated on the couch staring down at my knotted fingers.
“Do you have something on your mind, Ava?”
I let out a long breath.
“I have a lot on my mind.” I stood up to leave. “I’m sorry I woke you, Aug. Have a nice first day of work.”
“Nuh-uh. No way. I’m up now; you’re stuck with me. Sit.”
My leg was shaking and bouncing around. I unlaced my fingers and began to chew on my thumbnail. August took my hand away from my mouth; he set it calmly down on my leg and steadied me.
“What did that bastard do to you, Ava?”
August was referring to No. 6.
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I know you don’t. Ari said you keep saying that you don’t want to talk about your kidnapping or any of your experiences, but I don’t think your best interest is a matter of want at this point. I think it is a matter of need. Whether you want to discuss your issues or not is irrelevant; you need to talk about them. You cannot keep bottling these issues up inside, Ava.”
I pretended to pick pieces of lint off my shirt as August spoke.
“Do you have any good books to read?” I asked when his lecture was finally done.
August rolled his eyes at me and shook his head incredulously as he walked over to an unpacked box he had sitting on the floor. He pulled out Pride and Prejudice.
“I’ve already read that one,” I moped.
August threw it at me.
“Encore! Read it again.”
I took the book and went back into the house. I walked through the empty kitchen, passed the dining room and wandered through the living room. Aimlessly, I visited every part of our house until I found myself standing in front of our bed. I tossed the borrowed book on a pillow and pulled back the blankets on Ari’s side of the bed. I coiled up in a small ball and wept until my phone rang a couple of hours later.
“Hi,” Ari’s voice was so soothing.
“Hi.”
“You doing alright?”
“Yeah.”
“August called me; he said you looked upset this morning.”
“Mmm…”
“What are you doing right now, Ava?”
I picked up the Jane Austen novel and flipped to the cover page.
“Reading.”
“Oh? How’s your day?”
“I miss you. Can you find a way to disable the dryer buzzer?”
Ari chuckled into the phone. “I miss you, too. I’ll call you this afternoon. Consider the dryer buzzer as good as gone.”
“Bye.”
I tossed the book aside, curled back up in my little ball under the mass of warm blankets and pillows and continued my silent sobs.
****
I woke up with Ari every morning, made the bed, showered, got dressed, kissed him goodbye with a smile. As soon as the garage door creaked, I knew I was alone. Each morning I pulled back the covers on Ari’s side of the bed, fit myself into the indentation his body had made on the mattress, and soaked his pillow with tears. Ari called me the same time each day. To keep from lying to him about what I was doing, I pulled myself out of bed just before his call and started some mundane chore like turning laundry over or putting a dish or two away from the dishwasher. I pretended to read every Jane Austen and Brontë novel ever written.
In spite of my attempts to hide my distress from him, I could see the worry in Ari’s eyes when he looked at me. I could hear it in his voice. The crease in his forehead was ever present. I made sure to schedule my appointments with Dr. Phillips on days when Ari had class so he couldn’t come with me and hear me lie about being fine and feeling great. The truth was that I was far from fine. After successfully peeling every fingernail away to nothingness, I began to pull the skin away from my actual fingers. My scarred hand was especially raw. It was angry and scary looking.
Ari was busy in the evenings with schoolwork, so fairly often I wandered out to the pool house to seek out August’s company. He had backed off pressing me for details about the days I had been missing and it was nice to pretend to be normal with him. I helped him grade papers and he told funny stories about the petty high school drama he suffered in dealing with his students. August’s date with Collin had gone really well and I began to see less and less of him. I had a hard time dealing with the isolation. My anxiety got worse day by day and my nightmares became next to unbearable. Many nights I sent Ari into a complete panic because he could not silence my screams and he couldn’t wake me up right away.
I woke late one night, to wet, tear-filled eyes and cheeks. My throat was raw and scratchy. The bedside light was already on and I was already being cradled in Ari’s arms. My head was pressed up against his chest and I could hear the rapid beating of his heart. His white tee-shirt was soggy with my tears. He didn’t notice me wake up and stared with unseeing eyes out the window. I shifted and scratched at the peeling skin on my sore, raw hand.
Ari moved his gaze from the window to me and said nothing. He had dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes; a stack of papers was piled up on the covers next to my open laptop. My nightmares had interrupted his late night cramming session. He grabbed onto my fingers and moved them away from my pink, peeling skin. He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes.
“You were talking in your sleep,” he whispered.
My body stiffened; scared of what I may have revealed. “What did I say?”
“My name.”
I nodded. “What else?”
He let out a puff of breath and shook his head.
“You weren’t speaking English.”
I relaxed and giggled a little and Ari gave me a small crooked smile.
“You said my name with this cute little accent. I liked it.”
“Arie.” I smiled.
“Oui.” He laughed and then turned serious.
“Tell me what happened to you, Ava.”
“He did bad things, Ari. I’ve done bad things. You don’t need to see me in that light.”
Ari sighed a heavy sigh. He took a tube of Neosporin off the bedside table and gently rubbed it into my peeling flesh.
“Leave your hand alone, Ava. You’re turning into Freddie Kruger… It’s creepy,” he teased. And I laughed a tiny laugh.
Chapter 13
The F Word
I ran, at the gym, four miles or more daily to try to stop the stress. My body started to hurt and scream in protest at overuse. I spent hours and hours in the study doing research, looking up anything that could possibly shed light on No. 7. But I always came up empty handed.
I started working with Andy for House to Home, making a few contacts and setting up some funding for a few events to be held in the spring, nothing time consuming or difficult. Andy suggested that I put work off and take more time to “get well.” But I assured him that the distraction from my thoughts was nice. I still had not actually gone in to the House to Home office to meet anyone. I preferred to stay put. Actually, I preferred to stay safe. I told Andy not to pay me at all, but he refused so I set up an account, arranged for the direct deposit of my paycheck and set up an automatic payout to the Company as a charitable donation. The work was enjoyable; doing a little bit of good for someone else felt nice. I researched other organizations that were in need and set up donations. My mother always donated to a few of the women’s shelters back in Chicago, so when she passed I decided to continue on with her monthly contributions as well.
No matter how hard I tried to focus on real time, I found that my mind sometimes wandered far away, trying to solve a puzzle Ari knew nothing about – the conundrum of who No. 7 might be, how I might identify him if he could appear in any form he chose, and how I would kill him.
I became so scared of my alone time that I began to wander over to Aggie’s. She and I didn’t talk much; I just liked the idea of having someone near me. I practiced the piano for what felt like hours, trying to get my fingers to do what I wanted them to do. I played until my fingers turned sore and stiff and the bitten ends bled. Then I began shutting myself in Ari’s old bedroom, crying under his bulk of pillows and blankets until I fell asleep.
“Ava.” Aggie was talking softly. “Ava, Baby.”
“Mmm?” I moaned and removed the pillow from my eyes. Ari’s old bedroom was bright with the afternoon sun. I blinked several times.
“Ava
, I have to run to the market. You’ll be alone for a bit. Andy will be back from work in about an hour or so.”
I sat up in the bed. “I’ll come with you.”
Aggie furrowed her brow. “Sure.”
Making my way to the guest bathroom, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red rimmed from crying, I was pale and my hair was uncombed. I tied it back in a knotted ponytail and washed my face. I didn’t have the energy to do more than that.
I walked in to the kitchen and found Aggie waiting with her purse and keys in hand. Following her out to the garage, I climbed in the passenger seat of Aggie’s little Audi convertible. I wondered how she had room to squeeze in any groceries in the car’s tiny space.
Aggie had a Snow Patrol album on. Leaning forward in my seat, I turned the volume way down.
“I thought you liked Snow Patrol!”
“They are ok… I just don’t feel like listening to music.”
“Oh?” Aggie was trying to ease me in to opening up and talking with her about my feelings.
I nodded and then looked out the window, putting an end to any discussion.
We pulled up to Ralph’s and I walked with Aggie up and down the aisles while she filled her cart. I spied the pharmacy.
“Can I refill my prescription while we are here?”
Aggie blinked at me. “Er… Do you want me to go to the pharmacy with you, Ava?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, Baby. Let me just grab some milk and we will walk over there together.”
“K.”
Aggie waited behind me as I talked with the pharm tech. I had to refill my birth control.
“Give us about… err… ten minutes, Mrs. Alexander.” The pharm tech told me with a nod, then walked away from the counter.
I turned around and Aggie raised an eyebrow at me. I took a seat in one of the bucket chairs in the pharmacy department and waited.
Aggie and I sat in an uncomfortable silence. After five minutes she spoke up. “I saw this cute idea on Pinterest the other day, Ava.”
“Oh?” I looked up at her.