by a dagmara
We commenced our speeches once more closing the Silent auction and thanking our guest.
Brady on queue walked to the floor. Offering up some humor, I watched knowing the time was nearing. Brady pulled Sam out to the floor offering one of the most romantic and heart felt speeches as he bent down and proposed to Sam.
The applause was quick to follow as she said yes. I was more than happy for the two of them.
Sebastian came round and hugged me from behind; his head to the side of mine. I embraced his hold. He was innocent in his gesture to comfort me. I needed it.
“I know your heart is breaking right now. There are no words to offer that will make your pain ease. He’ll come around. He too is suffering. He’s just too stubborn to know how to deal with it.” Sebastian whispered.
“I can’t handle much more Sebastian. My heart can’t handle any more. I need to move on with or without him.” Pausing a moment, my mouth became unfiltered adding, “At this point, it looks to be without him.” Leaning into to his hold, “I ask myself; why couldn’t it have been you? Why him?”
“I suppose, I can understand the question. I wish it were me, who held your heart. At last, it is not Lillian. Can I confess something?”
I turned slightly in his hold.
“What would you possibly have to confess that I don’t already know?”
“Good point, but this is not of me. Charlie admittedly has always envied you as a little girl for obvious reasons, however, the one important fact is that in his jealousy, he covered the fact that he was taken with you from day one. The moment his eyes fell upon you all those years ago. It was easier fro him to hide behind his jealousy and label it hate then admit what it really was.”
He released his hold and turned me around. “The two of you are more alike than you realize. I finally see it now. You and he were always meant for the other. I pray the two of you find the will to let go before you both lose each other.”
“He walked away from me Sebastian. I begged him not to”
“He’s hurting Lilly, he doesn’t know how to put things right. He blames himself for all of it. I know it’s asking a lot of you, but it’s you who needs to pull him through.”
“I can barely keep myself above water. How am I supposed to help him?” Sebastian was nuts for even thinking it. I don’t have the answers. For me to realize this is hard.
“I’m not sure. That’s not something I can map out for you. I’m certain you’ll find your way. At least I hope you do.” He signed.
The countdown began for the New Years. Face to face with Sebastian, I was uncertain how to reach Charlie or myself.
“Happy new year’s Lillian” his hand under my chin; my breath hitched. He leaned down and I knew he was only going for my cheek.
“That’s not a New Year’s kiss Sebastian. I fear I owe you a real one.” I placed my lips to his and kissed him. I felt I owed him one kiss.
This kiss was what it should be; however, it lacked the passion and need that Charlie’s invoked.
He pulled away slow and debated. “I wish it was me you wanted.”
“I’m sorry Sebastian.”
“Don’t be. But thank you Lillian.”
We broke off and I did my rounds with the guests.
It would be an hour later when the ball would wrap up, before I felt the weight and exhaustion that was plaguing me. I still had to handle the close and clean up orders.
Chapter 7
Finally spent; I walked down the hall passing the lobby bar. I spotted Sebastian, as some woman was desperate for his attention. He noticed me and winked. I smiled back politely and made my way to the elevators.
I was exhausted and very ready for bed.
Reaching the pent house, I made my way making sure I went to the correct room.
Closing and locking the door behind me, I made my way stripping my dress off followed by the shoes and stockings. The room dark; I just didn’t have the energy left to look for my bag.
I climbed into the massive bed. My eyes landed on to the open window to the harbor. I didn’t know what to do about Charlie.
Hugging the pillow, I allowed the tears to once again fall.
Lost and confused; I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Shit the bed moved…oh god I wasn’t alone.
Turning slow, this was Charlie’s bed. We were face to face. It was obvious this was a setup by all.
Charlie seemed shocked to see me.
“Sebastian and Brady set this up” I whispered more for myself then him.
“It seems they have.” He breathed out.
I went to pull myself out of the bed when his hand softly fell down my back.
“Stay. I can go. I can take the sofa tonight.” He offered
“Don’t be silly. This is your bed and clearly their plan was in vain.” I sat up.
Feeling the bed jostle with his movement, he too sat up. Pulling up behind me, I felt the heat of his breath on my skin; his lips on my shoulder; grazing softly.
“I don’t know how to make things right. I don’t mean to hurt you; yet it seems that’s all I do.” Charlie whispered. “Julie had set this all in play. I had no idea who you really were. I thought you were just some girl she had issue with. I learned quickly that I couldn’t play that game with you. I fell for you so quick. I had no concern for what you wanted. I got you pregnant knowingly. Now you’re paying for my carelessness. You see I’m not worthy of an ounce of your love. I never was. I foolishly thought that somehow having this baby with you, would tie you to me; forcing you to forgive my mistakes. I wanted to do right by you. It was a foolish man to think that. Then you lost her…my heart broke for you and the pain I caused.”
I pushed away from him. Probably what he was waiting for. Standing, I turned back to the bed looking firmly at him.
“You think I didn’t know of the setup? You think I was innocent in all this. I knew Charlie. I knew who you were. I knew what your scheming bitch of a sister was up to. I knew it all and I played the game. The only thing I made a mistake in was letting go of it. I fell in love with you. Though, I did my best to keep it from myself…I knew that night before my accident. It was too late…I had fallen quick and hard for you.” The tears ever present fell down. Shaking my head, I knew not what to do, what to say next.
“You left me. You just walked away and left me. How am I supposed to deal with that?” My tone now louder as the hurt laced each word.
“I did…I’m sorry there is nothing I can say to excuse that.” Pausing he ran he hands thru his hair, “I watched you almost every night as you cried in your sleep, and I had no idea what to do for you knowing I was the cause.”
“I can’t do this Charlie…I just don’t have the strength. You told me you loved me…you told me to hold on to that. Your words were empty just as I now feel. If this is done then it needs to be done.”
I walked from the bed. Turning, I saw a shirt on the chair, possibly his I put it on and made my way to the door.
Charlie lifted from the bed and blocked the door.
“Where do you think you’re going? In only my shirt no less?”
“Sofa” I reach to the side for the handle.
His hands swiftly reached under the shirt and pulled me into his body.
So easy I was to surrender to his touch. His hands on my skin; I loved this man and he was my weakness.
“Stay…if only for tonight. Stay with me. I have no right to ask you too. But I want you to stay, please?”
Resting my head on his bare chest; taking in his words. I knew I would stay. I released my hold on the door wrapping my arms into him. I longed to feel his arms around me and I didn’t want to let go. If for just tonight, I wanted to be with him. I knew I should walk away. I was asking for my heartache. He was my drug and I was addicted.
Charlie eagerly pushed us away from the door stripping the shirt off me. There was just enough light in the room allowing our eyes to lock. His hand at the nape of my neck, holding me into
his gaze. I was so lost, caught up in him and the need I would not be able to escape.
My hands slowly rose to his face pulling him in. His lips were now my need.
The kiss; slow and teasing as if it was our first. The passion there; always there, igniting my desire and his, as he pushed his arousal to me. Moving to the bed was a natural escalation of the kiss.
So easily, the kiss changed from tempered to passion and need.
His hands ripped my panties off.
I helped him strip his briefs off. Spreading my legs, he paused poising himself at my entrance. His breathing labored. I could tell he was debating his action. Reaching down, I grabbed his arousal and wrapped my legs around him. His eyes worried; he looked into mine. Cupping his face, I lifted up and kissed him. That was enough to lead him straight into my body. He penetrated slow as I felt the tremble roll thru him.
“I don’t want to hurt you” he managed thru the kiss.
“Then don’t stop,” I added.
Opening my eyes seemed hard. I was tired and more importantly deliciously sore. Charlie wrapped himself on top of me, like a child holding onto his mother for support and security. His head on my chest; one arm under me the other wrapped over me. One leg for good measure; perhaps an attempt to hold me down, was all I could assume.
Gently running the tips of my fingers across his back, I felt debated. I had no idea what today or the next day would bring. He never asked for more than last night.
Which implied; no future for him and me. Then my mind shifted on a different matter; Julie.
It was she; who tried to kill me. The shot at Power Plant was by someone she hired. Brady had found the money trail.
It was her attempt who pierced my brake lines, in the parking garage of our building just before she left for Haiti, which she planned as her alibi. She just hadn’t realized that there were camera’s all over the garage. Lastly, she had provoked the wager between Charlie and Sebastian in another attempt to hurt me.
How would Charlie deal with her? I had no clue as to how he would take this news. Nor did I know if he understood the true topic of conversation that she and I danced around last night. It was his sister after all.
I tried to shake it from my thoughts. I just wanted this time with him. For a moment, I wanted to let it all go and have a normal experience of simply holding him. Looking to my surroundings, this all felt too familiar? Charlie on top of me, the room. Strange flashes that couldn’t be real started to surge. Prom, I was eighteen. Something was there, I just couldn’t remember.
Sifting through muddy memories, there was something important there, it was to blurred to remember.
A few minutes later, the normalcy I was enjoying disappeared with the screeching voice entering the penthouse.
“Oh, fuck off Sebastian. Where is Charlie? He was supposed to meet me for breakfast this morning.”
“He’s sleeping. Leave him the fuck alone.”
“Bit me!” she spit out.
“I’ll pass. Venom like yours isn’t something I’m remotely interested in.” Sebastian’s tone was sadistic and laced in hate for her.
“Oh, did you not have any success bedding Charlie’s sloppy seconds?”
“Jealous much?” I heard him laugh
“Where is he?” she demanded.
“Like I said in bed.”
I could hear her walking this way. Shit
“I suggest you not go in there,” Sebastian warned.
“Why the fuck not? You think I haven’t seen him in bed?”
“He’s not alone.” Sebastian laughed.
“Bull shit. He never allows any woman to share his bed. I’m sure he sent her on her way last night or dawn possibly.”
The door flew open…
“Get the fuck up!”
Her eyes landed on me and the shock was priceless.
She gazed down at Charlie fully wrapped into me.
Charlie stirred pulling his head off my chest. Pulling the sheets over us. He didn’t even bother turning to Julie at the door. I suspected he wasn’t fully awake as he laid his head down on the pillow and pulled me into him.
“I’m tired go away” in a groggy and sleepy voice he yelled.
I caught sight of Sebastian behind her, as his expression was fully amused. He nodded at me then walked back to the center of the suite.
“It looks like he’s not joining you for breakfast. I suggest you leave him be.”
“Fuck you Sebastian!” Turning back to us, “Charlie, get the fuck up!”
“Go away…” Charlie mumbled.
“We were supposed to have Breakfast?” she pouted like a little child.
“I’m having mine in bed” he raised up and smiled down to me “I’m definitely hungry” his lips came down to mine.
“This is bullshit…No. This isn’t going to happen. I’m not going to lose you to her. Not her.!” She screamed, “I should have killed her myself. Like you always said if you want something handled do it yourself”.
Time slowed and the pop of the gun was loud. Charlie raised slowly his eyes wide in horror. The bullet struck him and the second hit me.
My lungs gasped burning from the hit. Charlie fell on top. His body was now limp and my life seemed to be fading with his. I closed my eyes in shock, in grief.
The past four months seemed to flash before me. The first time I suspect Julie’s anger and jealousy. I knew it had everything to do with Chris. She had been in love with him for years. I had no idea that I had stolen him from her all those years ago. They were never a couple. She was too shy to pursue him but my intrusion was enough to set her on her plan for my demise. Oddly, I understood her. For I set on the demise of the Vaihn brothers almost 8 years ago.
Thinking of it now, she and I were both so set on revenge, not once taking account of the real price that we would pay in the end.
Trying to open my eyes, I spotted her. She was in shock dropping the gun and shaking.
“Oh my god what have I done. Oh god!”
Finding my voice. “I’m sorry Julie. I’m so sorry.”
My life was indeed fleeting from me. My heart was slowing, as I no longer felt his. I closed my eyes and finally let go.
I finally allowed myself to truly live in one night. I allowed my heart to be free.
Free of my vengeance and loved my enemy.
If I had the chance, would I have charted a new path?
Chapter 8
Alley……
Whether I was dreaming or not, I wasn’t sure. Like always, I stood in the ashes of my family home. This time something was different. The remains all overgrown with the freesia that once adorned the stone patio. The scent of morning due and the fragrance of the flowers enveloped the space around me.
“Lilly!” She called out running with her balloon in hand.
Stopping just in front, she raised her arms to me. Eagerly I bent down and lifted her up.
“I love my Lilly” she rubbed her button nose to mine.
“And I love my Alley”
“It’s time to let go Lilly”
Smiling at her: “You’re right Alley, It’s time to let go”
“I’ love Lilly…It’s time to wake up” She giggled and pulled from my hold. I eased her to her feet as she ran off thru the house; balloon in tow.
I felt free, I was ready to fully let go. My soul felt a strange surge and final release. Closing my eyes taking in the scent, I was free.
Owe…my head is throbbing. I can’t believe I allowed for so many shots. What was I thinking?
Going out in the middle of the week is insane. I need to remind myself I’m not in college anymore. I have a job to get to and this morning of all mornings, I’ll be sitting thru meetings most of the day.
Eyes still shut I reach over and turned the alarm off. Then shock hit.
I sat up swiftly appraising my surroundings. This was my apartment.
Am I dreaming?
I pulled from the bed looking around the room. My cl
othes, from the night before on the small chair. The small sound of the beeping from the coffee maker.
Walking to the door, I urgently opened it and made my way to the kitchen.
Eyes wide and shock on my face. Charlie stood pouring a cup of coffee in my to go mug. Dressed in a dark suit purple shirt and tie.
Fuck!! It was all a fucking dream? I shook my head trying to take it in.
None of it happened!
Centering myself, I was overjoyed with that fact. It was all a fucking dream. The relief flooded me whole. This time I would change, I would change the outcome.
“Good Morning Charlie,” my voice must have been the same as my expression. Elated.
I saw him cock his head in surprise that I knew his name.
“Charlie fucking Vaihn is in my apartment!” I laughed.
Completely over the moon, I smiled ear to ear as I walked past him and straight for Julie’s room.
“How the bloody hell do you know my name?” he yelled from behind.
“Who in the world doesn’t know who you are?” I offered still grinning.
Opening the door, I walked in, as she was asleep in her bed.
I climbed in her bed and for some reason felt the need to hug her. To show her a side of me that would demonize me less in her eyes.
“Julie?” I whispered
“Oh, dear lord Lil it’s too early…What’s wrong with you and why are you hugging me?” her voice was groggy.
“I owe you an apology,” I offered sincerely
“It’s too early for this nonsense Lil”
“No. it’s precisely the right time.” I sighed, “I had no idea you were in love with Chris. I wish I knew before. I want to make this right Julie.”
She turned in shock.
“Does he know?” Her eyes wide, as she looked up at me. “I never told him.” Looking to me quizzically, she added, “How do you know?”
“I guessed. I should have seen it before. I’ve been so caught up in my own issues that I didn’t see it until now.” Pulling myself up on my knees on her bed, “I think you need to come clean. Tell him how you feel. You might be surprised.”