by Linda Sole
‘Didn’t I?’ Marcus looked moody. ‘It’s the damned war. It was hell some of the time, and then when it’s over … something happens. You keep going somehow while you have to but …’ He shook his head. ‘Don’t worry about it, darling. I expect I shall …’ What he meant to say was lost as the kitchen door banged and then his son came running into the room followed more slowly by Connor. ‘Hello there, my boy!’ He picked the child up, swinging him round and up on to his shoulder. ‘Why don’t we go and see what I’ve got for you in my case?’
Frances listened to their excited chatter and her son’s screams of excitement as they left the room. She glanced at Connor too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice the look in his eyes. If she’d realized he was feeling excluded from the family reunion she might have said something, but she had a horrid sinking feeling inside. She had built up this homecoming in her mind so much and now she felt flat. It was almost as if Marcus had become someone different, as if she hardly knew him.
‘You don’t need to take Robert with you,’ Amelia said, stroking the small boy’s head as he clung to her skirts. ‘He will be fine with us, Emily. Why don’t you have a little time for yourself? Make it a longer holiday this time. You don’t get to see your family that often these days.’
‘But they will all want to see him,’ Emily said and held out her hand to the child. Sometimes Amelia’s attitude towards her son irritated her a little, but she tried not to let it show. ‘Come to Mummy, darling. We are going in the car now.’
Robert looked up at Amelia for a moment and then let go of her skirt a little reluctantly. He toddled unsteadily towards his mother on his chubby legs, giving a squeal of delight as she caught him up and hugged him. He patted her face and chuckled, chattering in his own way. As yet he had a limited vocabulary, but Emily smiled as she heard the word ‘Mumma’ repeated several times. At least he knew who she was, even though Amelia spent far more time with him than Emily did as a rule. He called her ‘Melia’. As Emily bore him away, taking him out to the car, he waved to her over his mother’s shoulder.
‘Melia isn’t coming today,’ she told him as she gave him to Nanny, who was waiting to receive him on to her lap in the back seat of the car. ‘Be a good boy, darling. We have a long drive down to see Uncle Henry.’
Emily had decided to stay with her elder brother at the farmhouse rather than with Frances, because she knew that Marcus had just come back after months away. They would naturally want some time alone together, even though Frances had invited her to stay for a few days.
‘You know you are welcome here, Emily,’ she had said when she telephoned. ‘After all, it was your home until you married.’
‘Thanks but Henry wants me to stay with him,’ Emily had told her, because she couldn’t say that Frances’s house didn’t feel like home anymore. It was too neat and tidy, too cold in a way. Vanbrough was a huge house, but it had a lived-in feeling, the furniture in the family rooms well-used and loved. Vane left his things just where he liked, and his ancient golden Labrador dog followed him everywhere. ‘I’m going to do the accounts for Henry and he has plenty of room in that rambling old house of his.’
Emily wasn’t sure why she had been reluctant to stay at her old home, but it was Marcus’s house now – and Frances’s. It wouldn’t have been the same and she might have felt awkward. Henry was looking forward to seeing her and so was Mary. Daniel was staying at Alice’s parents’ home for the time being, though Emily knew that Alice had been searching for a house for them for some weeks. She would be able to see them too, and their son Danny.
‘Everyone ready then?’ Emily glanced over her shoulder and smiled before starting the car. Nanny had come prepared with books and games for the journey. ‘Off we go then. You will like Uncle Henry’s farm, Robert. There are lots of animals.’
Emily glanced back and saw that Amelia was at the door of the great house, staring at them in an odd intense way that made her feel slightly uncomfortable. What did that look on her face mean? Was it just that she hated to part from Robert – or was she becoming too possessive? Sometimes now Amelia acted as though she thought the child was hers.
No, she was making too much of it! Emily waved at Amelia, and then released the handbrake. As she drove along the road that ran through the park, she was aware of ancient trees and a feeling of peace. She never failed to be moved by the beauty of the old house and its grounds, and she knew that she was very lucky to live in such a place – even if she did sometimes feel guilty because of her secrets.
Vane believed that Robert was Simon’s child. He had taken it for granted when she’d told him that she was pregnant and somehow she hadn’t been able to confess the truth. Amelia had guessed that she had conceived during a brief love affair with another man, but Vane had no idea. For the past couple of years since her son’s birth he had delighted in his heir, telling everyone who would listen what a wonderful, clever boy Robert was and spoiling him whenever he got the chance.
He would be terribly disappointed and hurt if he ever learned that Robert was the son of Emily’s lover, a fireman who had died when he went back to rescue a colleague from a burning house in the Blitz. Emily frowned as she turned on to the main road, which ran past the estate walls. Vane would be entitled to be angry with her for lying.
Of course she hadn’t exactly lied. She had simply allowed him to believe what he wanted to believe – and Amelia had begged her to do it. Unable to give Vane an heir herself, now that Simon was dead, Amelia had wanted Emily to stay on with them. She adored Robert. It was natural that she should miss him when his mother took him away.
Emily made an effort to shrug off her slight feeling of unease. She was looking forward to her visit with her family. It would be good to see them all again, especially her brother Daniel.
Emily’s face wore a frown of concentration as she drove through the traffic. Daniel had had a terrible time. Captured by the Germans in Greece, he had spent the last years of the war in a prison camp. She knew his letters to Alice had been cheerful, because Alice had let her read bits of them, but he’d written to Emily personally once and she had guessed at the things he didn’t say.
Would his war experiences have changed her brother? Emily wondered. Daniel had been closer to her than any of the rest of her family before the war, and she worried about him. He was lucky to be coming home when so many men never would. Emily’s contact with the soldiers who had suffered terrible injuries had made her see the horror of war for herself. Sometimes she sat by a dying patient and talked to him for ages, holding his hand until the end. Each death left a little scar on her heart. War was so futile. It made her angry to think of all the men who had died, and all the women who had lost their loved ones.
Alone in her bedroom after a patient had been lost, she would weep for the pity of it and for the lover she herself had lost. Terry had been so brave, dying to help others. She had loved him so much and they had had so little time together. Feeling the sting of emotion in her throat, she forced her thoughts back to the present. Terry was dead but she had her son – his son.
Forget the past! She must think about the future. She was committed to Vane and the Convalescent Home. She owed it to the men and also her father-in-law. By letting him believe that Robert was his grandson, she had sealed her own fate. And she was happy with that – most of the time.
It would be good to see Daniel and Frances – and all the others, of course. Except Cley. She hadn’t spoken to the second eldest of her brothers for ages, because she knew what he had done. Connor had heard Cley and Daniel fighting, and he’d told her that the reason for the fight was because Cley had raped their stepmother.
Emily’s stomach curled with disgust. How could he have done that to their father’s widow? Emily hadn’t liked Margaret much, but she was still angry with Cley. Because of what he had done, Margaret had demanded more money from Daniel. He would need that money now that he was home. She knew only too well that Henry was in deep trouble with the far
m. If he managed to stave off bankruptcy it would be a miracle.
Emily had some money of her own. It wasn’t a fortune, just a few thousand pounds that had come to her from Simon’s estate. At first she hadn’t wanted to touch a penny of her late husband’s money. Her marriage had been a sham and she wasn’t interested in the legacy, but Vane had insisted it was hers.
‘It is your independence,’ he’d told her. ‘If you get sick of us, Emily, you can go and live your own life. Not that I want you to go, my dear. You know I would love you to stay with us – but I don’t want you to feel trapped.’
Vane was such a dear! Emily smiled at the thought of him. She had been in awe of her father-in-law once but now she had become fond of him. He treated her with kindness and respect and she admired him, because he was everything his son hadn’t been.
The money from Simon’s estate was just sitting in the bank doing nothing. She didn’t think it was enough to pay Henry’s debts, but she might be able to help Daniel get started again. She would talk to him when she got the chance, because she doubted that Cley would pay his brother the money he owed him.
‘Damn you, Cley!’ Daniel Searles said, glaring at his elder brother. ‘You owe me that two thousand for paying Margaret off. She was going to report you to the police. You would have spent the past five years in prison if I hadn’t saved your neck.’
‘More fool you,’ Cley retorted. ‘Don’t threaten me, Dan. It won’t do you any good. I don’t have the money to pay you. Things have been hard for me as well as everyone else. Ask Henry what it has been like trying to keep things ticking over.’
‘Henry was saddled with a huge bank loan, as you know very well.’
‘That was his problem.’ Cley shrugged and spat on the ground. He had thickened over the years, his features coarsening as he lost much of the good looks that had been his in youth. He was younger than Henry but still well into his thirties, a man who had indulged in the pleasures of the table as well as of the flesh. ‘If you give me time I might be able to raise five hundred …’
‘I want all of it,’ Daniel said. He clenched his fists, knowing that he didn’t have the strength to thrash his brother as he would have once. The prisoner of war camp had taken its toll on him as it had on all the men, but he wasn’t broken in spirit like some of the poor devils he’d known. His physical strength would come back in time; he’d had Alice and his son to come home to and now he was back with them he would get on in leaps and bounds. ‘I’ll take the five hundred for now, Cley – but I want the rest of it.’
‘You’ll have to wait.’ Cley glared at him. ‘I’ll do what I can and that’s all I’m going to say.’ He glanced back towards his house. His wife had come to the door to look at them. ‘Dorothy has dinner ready. You can stay if you want?’
‘No thanks. I’ve promised Alice I’ll go to look at a house with her this afternoon.’ He gave his brother a hard look. ‘I want that money and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to get it.’ His gaze shifted towards the house and Dorothy. ‘Give my love to your wife.’ His words carried an underlying meaning and Cley threw him a look of hatred.
‘Don’t try that or you will be sorry!’
‘Don’t push me too far or you’re the one who will regret it,’ Daniel warned.
He turned his back on his brother and got into the old truck he was driving. It had stood idle in one of the barns since he’d been shipped out to Greece, but he had got it going again and the engine sounded sweet as he started it up. He had always had a talent for repairing engines – that was how he’d got left behind when the British evacuated Greece. If he’d abandoned that ammunition truck when the engine died on him, he might not have ended up as a prisoner of the Germans.
There was no point in looking back, no point in dwelling on what had happened to him. Daniel had ridden out the war as best he could, using his time to study mechanics. He’d formed an odd sort of friendship with one of the guards. As a prisoner of war, Daniel had received parcels from the Red Cross and occasionally from home. He’d seen Hans looking at his chocolate bar with naked envy and he’d given him half, because towards the end of the war the Germans had been short of luxuries too. After that Hans had brought him books and manuals about engines and tools. How he’d managed to find English copies Daniel didn’t know until after the war. He’d discovered then that Hans had had an English grandfather, who had worked on the earliest cars in the Daimler factory.
They had parted on amiable terms. Hans had wanted to keep in touch, but it wouldn’t happen. Daniel wasn’t interested in the past. The war and everything that had happened to him in the camp was over. He was home now. All he wanted was to forget and get on with the future. His dream was to open his own garage, but for that he needed the money Cley owed him.
He frowned as he drove through the village. Somehow he was going to get that two thousand. It would make all the difference to their lives. The farm would have to be sold, because the bank was making threatening noises. They would be lucky if they salvaged enough to pay off their debts. Daniel had already transferred the two fields he owned independently into Alice’s name. At least that would ensure they had something left if it all went down – which was looking increasingly likely despite the efforts he’d made since his return.
It wasn’t going to be easy for a few years. Daniel hated the idea that he might not be able to provide a decent living for Alice and their son. He’d made such plans for the future. Sitting in that wretched camp it was all that had kept him sane.
Damn Cley for what he’d done to Margaret! She might have been a calculating bitch who had taken them for every penny she could get, but she hadn’t deserved to be treated like that! Daniel had given Cley a thrashing and he’d extracted a promise that his brother would repay the money after the war. Now Cley was trying to wriggle out of it but Daniel wouldn’t let him.
As he drew up outside his father-in-law’s house, he saw that another car was already parked outside. He didn’t recognize it, but as he went into the house he heard laughter. That was Alice and Emily! He grinned as he walked into the small back parlour. The room was overflowing with people, and he thought that the sooner he and Alice got their own place the better.
Emily turned and saw him. She gave a screech of delight and rushed into his arms, responding warmly to his hug of affection.
‘Dan! It’s so lovely to see you again.’ She drew back looking at him anxiously. ‘You’re a bit thinner but Alice will soon feed you up. You haven’t changed much otherwise. I was afraid you might have.’
‘I was lucky,’ Daniel said with a lazy grin, consigning all the fear, hunger and pain to oblivion. ‘It could have been a lot worse. Some of the chaps were shot trying to escape. I was part of a tunnel group but it collapsed before my turn came and we couldn’t get enough wood to shore it up. After that I decided to sit it out. Hans told me it couldn’t be long so I waited for the surrender.’
‘Hans – was he a German?’ Emily’s brows rose. She was used to everyone hating the enemy and Daniel’s voice seemed to indicate tolerance.
‘I gave him chocolate from my parcels and he brought me manuals to study. I could probably pass any exam on mechanics I chose to sit now.’
‘Oh, Dan …’ Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Daniel was all right! There were bound to be bad memories and hidden scars, but he could cope with them. He wasn’t broken in spirit like some of the men at the home. ‘Thank goodness! You’re just the same.’
‘Not quite,’ he admitted with a wry look. If anything he had come out of it harder, tougher. ‘But I’ve been lucky. I was sorry about Simon …’ He looked at her oddly, uncertain of how she felt about her husband’s death.
Emily nodded. ‘It was a shame. We all thought he was getting better. He was going to America with a friend for treatment. They told us it was quite sudden. Vane had a heart attack afterwards, but he is much better now – thank goodness.’
‘Are you happy staying there?’
‘Yes, of
course,’ Emily said though she knew it wasn’t completely true. Sometimes she wanted a lot more, but she didn’t know what. Terry was dead and she was sure that she would never love another man in the same way. ‘I wouldn’t know what else to do, Daniel.’
‘No, I suppose not,’ he said and looked at the small boy playing with Danny on the floor. ‘At least you’ve got a decent car, Emily. My old truck is all I can manage for the moment.’
‘Vane bought it for my birthday. It isn’t new, of course. No one can get new cars yet, but it is in lovely condition.’ She smiled at her brother. ‘Would you like to drive it? You can take Alice to see that house she has been telling me about.’
‘Are you sure?’ Daniel was pleased. ‘It’s generous of you, Emily. I’ll take good care of it. But what about you? You don’t want to drive my truck?’
‘I’m going to see Frances when you and Alice leave. When you come back you can leave the car there for me if you will. I promised to have dinner with her and Marcus so you have plenty of time.’
‘Great.’ Daniel glanced at Alice. ‘Get your coat on, love. I’ll just have a look at the car with Emily.’
He went out and Emily followed, leaving Robert inside for the moment. She handed Daniel her keys, and watched as he got into the driving seat, looking at the controls.
‘It’s a nice car, Emily.’
‘I like it,’ she said. ‘I should like a private talk one day before I leave, Daniel.’
‘Anything wrong?’ He lifted his brows.
‘No, I just want to talk.’
‘Tomorrow morning? I’ll come to the farm at ten.’
‘Lovely,’ Emily agreed. ‘Have a nice afternoon with Alice. She is so excited about the house.’ She turned as Alice came down the path wearing her best blue coat. ‘Enjoy yourselves. I am going to fetch Robert and walk to Frances’s house. She says she wants to chat.’
‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,’ Alice said and giggled. Her face was lit up with excitement. Everything she had ever dreamed of was coming her way.