“Hello, dear,” she said with a smile.
I stood up and shook her hand like I had always been taught. I hoped that this wasn’t another thing unique to Oportet.
“Nice to meet you.” I smiled back at her. Music was still playing in the background, and I wondered why she wasn’t freaking out because of whom her son was letting listen to it. I could get them into a lot of trouble. It could even resort to their immediate expulsion from Oportet.
“Luna…what a pretty name,” she said. “Oh, and you can just call me Lilly.” My first thought was how lilies were my favorite flower, and how much the name fit this petite, delicate woman. She transferred her gaze to Jasper and said, “I need to go grocery shopping. Do you need anything?”
“No, I think I’m good.” I looked between Jasper and his mother in disbelief. Was she really leaving us alone? My parents would have cut their eyes out before leaving one of their daughters at home alone with a boy.
“Jeez. Your moth—mom—is very trusting.”
Jasper shrugged. “Yeah, she has trouble with knowing how to be a parent. She was far too young when she found out she was pregnant with me. It took her by surprise, to say the least,” Jasper stated, like it was a simple fact of life.
I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Oh,” I managed.
“Now imagine how she must feel having to take in my delinquent cousin.”
“What is going on between you two? Do you just not get along?”
Jasper laughed without humor. “Some people are just…bad. You can argue whether it was nature or nurture that made him that way, but the fact still remains: Alex is not a good person.”
“What do you mean?” He might have been flirtatious, or even arrogant, but I didn’t see how this could be enough to classify him as a bad person.
“My cousin is a sociopath. He isn’t capable of real emotions.”
My eyes widened. Now that was a valid reason to distrust his cousin.
I was about to say “Oh” again, but I decided that once was enough. Instead, I settled on “I’m sorry.” I meant it, too. It must have been hard to live with someone with that kind of mental disorder.
“I want to show you something,” he said, shutting the laptop. He was obviously finished talking about Alex.
He navigated through the rooms of the house until we reached the back door. He pulled it open and let me pass through, all gentleman-like. I would have appreciated the gesture more if his mischievous smile wasn’t making me so nervous.
“Where are we going?” I asked. “How do I know that you’re not the sociopath leading me to my death?”
Jasper jerked his head around and looked at me with one eyebrow pulled up. I tilted my head back with laughter.
“Life is all about chances. Not taking them doesn’t make you smart—it makes you weak.” Jasper said. “That’s the real secret for how to live.”
I considered his words. Was that really the secret? Were the people of Oportet weak because they avoided taking risks?
“Who’s to say what’s the right way to live?” I thought aloud. “Everyone knows the exact same amount of nothing when it comes to understanding our purpose in the world.” I spoke quietly, like my parents were going to suddenly jump out from the shrubbery and lock me up somewhere.
Jasper looked at me—he really looked at me—like he was trying to see into the depths of my mind. If he found anything, I hoped he’d let me know, because I wasn’t even sure I understood the jumbled mess I’d become.
“Are you sure you spent your whole life here?” Jasper finally said as he led me into Oportet’s forest.
“I was just wondering that same thing.” I let out nervous laughter, surprised by what I was revealing to this boy yet again. “It’s like I’m finally allowing myself to think about things without anyone else’s influence.” I felt like I was jumping into this abyss—a huge black hole that might lead me to a terrible demise…
Or land me exactly where I needed to be.
“That’s exactly what the people here fear. But free-thinking gives you power.” Jasper held a tree branch back for me to pass through. For some reason, my usual discomfort among the tall, dark trees and gnarled branches was held at bay. I felt safe with Jasper.
“Please tell me where we’re going,” I begged as we headed further into the woods. I hated when I wasn’t aware of everything happening around me.
“Someone needs to work on her patience skills,” Jasper teased, finally coming to a stop.
“You need to have something in order to work on it,” I muttered. I tried to see what was ahead of us, but Jasper was blocking me.
“Close your eyes.”
I blinked at him. I crossed my arms in defiance and waited for him to let up and let me pass.
“Come on, take a chance.”
I rolled my eyes at his playful grin, which never failed to pull a smile out of me. “Fine.” I closed my eyes and waited. I felt his hand close around mine, causing my heart to miss a few beats.
“Okay, now move forward.” I cautiously took a few steps, opening my eyes a little to make sure I wasn’t going to trip. “Hey, no cheating,” Jasper snapped. I closed my eyes all the way again, irritated that I had been caught.
I was walking at the pace of a dying snail. As I let myself pick up speed I felt my foot collide with something on the ground, and my already terrible balance was completely lost. I gasped as I felt myself falling, Jasper’s hand slipping through my fingers.
My eyes flew open in a panic, but instead of hitting the ground, I was suspended above it. I felt hands on my waist, keeping me from plunging into the forest floor. Jasper pulled me up, and I was thankful to be back on my own two feet unscathed.
“God, Luna. It’s just walking. It’s really not that difficult.” His hands loosened from my waist, cutting off the electrical impulses his touch created.
“You’re the one who was supposed to be guiding me, asshole,” I said as I elbowed him in the stomach. He clutched the spot I hit and doubled over dramatically.
He straightened up, throwing me a taunting grin.
“We need to work on your elbowing skills, too, maybe after we work on your patience?” That was easy for him to say. It felt like elbowing a brick wall. “Turn around,” Jasper instructed.
I narrowed in on him. “I’m not sure I can trust you anymore.” Now it was Jasper’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Don’t be difficult.”
I turned around, not quite sure what to expect. I saw some sort of swing set beyond the group of bushes in front of us. Where were we?
I pushed through the vegetation, entering what appeared to be an ancient playground in the middle of the clearing. There were three swings hanging on the swing set and two slides—one large and one small for different ages of children. There was also some kind of metal spider web, which was now a rusted brown color.
Even stranger was a single wooden bench in the middle of it all, perfectly preserved, with no signs of rotting or withering.
I felt Jasper behind me, and I couldn’t help thinking about the way his hands felt on my waist. He was making me think crazy things, utterly insane things. I wanted to collapse into his arms; I wanted to know him: his fears, his regrets, his passions, and his secrets—everything.
“Cool, right?” Jasper asked as he moved to stand in front of me. “I stumbled upon it when I was out here exploring.”
“Why are you showing me this?” Why was any of this happening? “I mean, why me?”
Jasper nodded as he understood what I was trying to say. Did I even know what I was trying to say?
“You remember what I said about chances? The principle applies to people, too.” Jasper reached his hand up to my face, catching a stray lock of hair and placing it behind my ear. “I brought you because I think you’re pretty great.”
Chapter Eleven
I struggled as the scene faded out, wishing for more time with these particular memories.
Jasper and I ha
d talked for hours as we lay on the forest floor, meeting in our special little place time and time again. A month’s worth of time was being thrown at me in a matter of seconds.
Then, it was all over.
I was trying so hard to pull my past from my stubborn subconscious that I gave myself a headache. I didn’t want to be living in the present anymore. I needed to be with Jasper in the past.
I wondered when “present” Jasper was going to make an appearance. I needed to explain everything to him and for him to fill in the gaps. Most of all, I needed to know why he had been acting so resentful towards me. I couldn’t imagine why I would ever hurt someone like Jasper.
~~~~~
“Tell us all about it,” Mother said, nearly shaking with excitement. Megan was eyeing me from her seat at the table.
I proceeded to tell my family about the meeting, leaving out the part where I had to flee the scene, my memories attacking me. My parents looked proud of me as I spoke. Megan just looked anxious, exactly like she had ever since I tried to question her the week prior.
“Were you expecting a call from anyone today, Luna?” Father asked, taking a huge drink of his water.
“No, why?”
Father’s eyes narrowed slightly, setting his fork down. “It was actually quite strange,” he said. “I heard the phone ringing, but when I answered it, the person on the other line hung up.”
I immediately thought of Jasper. He promised to meet me later so that we could finish talking without tipping off Tomlinson.
“That is strange,” Mother murmured.
“Oh, and we ran into Jenna while we were out,” Father said. “She seemed hurt that you hadn’t been making any effort to see her lately. Did something happen between you two?” Jenna had told me that we had grown apart before the accident, my memory-wipe bringing us back together. I didn’t think I could fully trust her until I knew what had torn us apart last year.
I was about to reassure my parents about our relationship, but Father cut in. “I told her that she was welcome to come over tonight at six so that you two could catch up.”
I managed a smile, but that was not on my list of activities for the evening.
“Is that alright?” he asked, which seemed like a silly question; it wasn’t like we could call and disinvite her.
“Yeah. Sounds good.” It was hard enough acting normal in front of my family, but acting like I wasn’t having a mental crisis in front of my childhood friend sounded like a miserable chore. She knew me better than anyone, and I couldn’t help but remember what she’d told me about Jasper. She told me that I hated him, and then she made me promise to stay away from him. This made me even more suspicious of her. It seemed like everyone was trying hard to keep me away from Jasper, and from anything that could trigger a relapse of my old self.
After dinner, I waited in the family room listening to one of the only music albums we owned. It was dull and safe. It was like the musician was scared of composing a melody that evoked any kind of emotion. I yearned for Jasper’s music, so full of passion and fire.
The ring of the doorbell brought me off the couch and to the front door. I let a smiling Jenna into our foyer, and we snuck off to my room in silence.
“We’ve had such good times in here, haven’t we?” Jenna sighed. She was examining my room, as if she was looking for any major changes.
“Yep. Have you had your OGS yet?”
Jenna nodded. “I’ve decided to be a pediatrician,” she announced. “What about you?”
“I’m not one-hundred percent sure…but I think I’m going to become a teacher. A high school English teacher would be my first choice.” It was the closest I could get to what I really wanted—to write. I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, exactly, but I knew that it would never be a viable option for my future.
“I think you’d be good at that.” Jenna grinned. “So…” She hesitated for a moment. “Jasper hasn’t bothered you since we talked last, right?” At the sound of his name, my heart sped up.
“Who?” I faked confusion, surprised at how easy it was becoming to lie and play dumb for people. At least I was lying for self-preservation. No one else had a valid excuse. “Oh, sorry, you mean that boy I was asking about earlier. Haven’t seen him since,” I said.
“That’s good. I was worried about you. We wouldn’t want Oportet’s rising star to be attacked by some street freak.” Jenna laughed. “I’m just really glad you had your little accident. It gave me my best friend back.”
I stared at her in disbelief. “Did you really just say that?” I spat.
Jenna shut her mouth, her eyes widening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I was glad you got hurt or anything… but I mean, it’s not like you haven’t said those exact words to me before. Just a month ago you were telling me how thankful you were that you had this fresh new start.” Jenna wrung her hands. “It sucked that it took you cracking your head open to finally realize the error of your ways, but you were the one who said that you were glad it happened.”
I was fuming, not just because of what I was hearing come out of Jenna’s mouth, but also because it was true. I had said those things, and I had believed them.
“You’re right. I did say that, but that was before I started to realize that I only knew a fraction of the truth. That was before I knew that people were using my memory loss for their own benefit.” Anger boiled inside of me, lacing my every word with venom.
“No, Luna. We have all been using your memory loss for your benefit. The sooner you realize that, the sooner everyone can finally move past this.” Jenna’s eyes were fiery as she spoke. “How do you think I felt watching you completely shut everyone out, completely disregard everything that you have ever stood for, and completely turn away from Oportet?” Was that moisture forming in her eyes? “It felt awful, Luna.”
I watched as raw emotion grew in her eyes, and I lost track of my anger for a moment. I was going to say something about how not having any recollection of last year was awful, and that she couldn’t possibly compare her pain to mine, but weren’t we both hurting?
I knew that Jenna was wrong, and I knew that she was misguided in her attempts to protect me, but I also knew that it wasn’t her fault. We were all raised the same in Oportet. There just came a time when we each had to choose whether we would listen to what we were told, or to ourselves. Everything I was remembering was pointing to the fact that I had chosen the latter. That was exactly what everyone was so afraid might happen again.
“I think you should go,” I said.
Jenna didn’t protest; she wanted to leave just as much as I wanted her gone. Her long, jet-black hair fell from behind her ears to shield her face.
“I really do want the best for you,” she said quietly. “I know that things aren’t perfect in Oportet, but it’s much better than what you would get Outside.” She gave me a pointed look.
I nodded without agreement. I was beginning to doubt that, possibly for the second time in my life.
~~~~~
It was a few hours after Jenna left when I heard the phone sound in the distance. I sped down the hallway and pulled it off the wall before the rest of my family heard the second ring.
“Hello?” I asked, letting out a breath when I heard the familiar voice on the other end.
“Luna,” Jasper said. “Meet me in the clearing as soon as you can, okay?”
“Okay.”
~~~~~
Jasper was waiting for me when I made it to the foliage-covered playground. The sun was almost down, and the beautiful colors of the sunset were just starting to fade into pale pastels.
Jasper was lying on his back, his eyes on the sky. When he heard me approach, he pulled himself up, giving me an expression I didn’t recognize. I walked hesitantly to him and sat across from him in the grass, pulling my knees to my chest.
“Tell me everything,” was all he said.
So I did. I told him all I knew about my head injury, the timespan that I was to
ld I had lost forever, and the memories that I was slowly regaining. I watched the different emotions flicker across his features: surprise to pain to confusion and back again.
“All of what you told me is either extremely suspicious or completely impossible,” Jasper said when I was finished. “Actually, it sounds both.”
“I know.”
“So you just randomly start having visions whenever and wherever, and you’ve been getting them all in chronological order? That’s just insane.”
When I had finally said it aloud, it really did sound like a beautifully intricate lie.
“It’s killing me because I just want to see everything at once, but I have to wait hours or even days between memories. I’m very impatient.”
“I know you are,” Jasper murmured. “You haven’t even remembered the best things yet.”
“Like what?”
He smiled. “No, I shouldn’t ruin the story for you. The plot needs to develop before you get to the good stuff.”
I glared at him. Only Jasper could pull off a joke about something this serious. “This isn’t funny, Jasper.” I crossed my arms.
“No, it’s not.” His smile faded. “But it could be dangerous for you to remember too much too fast. Maybe it’s best to let these memories come back to you slowly. It would probably be a lot to process all at once. I mean, it sounds like you suffered quite the head injury.”
I thought about his words. “You’re probably right.” I sighed.
“Well, this really is a turn of events isn’t it? It makes me wonder…” Jasper trailed off, caught up in his thoughts.
“Wonder what?”
“Nothing. The sooner you remember everything, the better.”
I remembered what his mother, Lilly, had said about our relationship having a bad ending. It made me sad when I thought about what had possibly happened between us for Jasper to act so spiteful. “Why did you hate me before I told you all of this?” I asked.
Jasper looked up at me, his eyebrows drawn together. “It’s not possible for me to hate you. I was just hurt.”
I looked down at the ground, careful not to meet Jasper’s pained eyes. “Why?”
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