by Amy Braun
I couldn’t be in love again, and certainly not with someone as unselfish as Warrick. I wasn’t a good person. I would drag him down. He would die because of me. He was only on this insane trip to get revenge on Drake. I had been good with the idea that he would leave as soon as Drake was dead.
Now my heart was sore, and I wasn’t sure about anything.
When I pushed through the clearing, Dro was sitting alone at the picnic table. Sephiel was talking to Max a couple feet away, gesturing as though he was giving the psychic some training as well. I straddled the bench across from my sister, making sure my back was to the forest so I wouldn’t need to look at Warrick when he came through the trees.
Dro turned her head and smiled at me, but quickly sensed my mood.
“Are you okay, Con?”
“Yeah. Fine.”
She frowned, glancing at the forest. “What were you doing in there?”
I played with the edge of my lucky jacket. “Nothing.”
Dro was still looking past me. “Uh huh. Does it involve the tall, handsome, green-eyed nothing walking out of the trees?”
I twisted my head on instinct, then stopped halfway. I couldn’t give in to my heart’s desires. Keeping Dro safe came first. It always had, and it always would. But sometimes I missed the things I would never have.
“You told him off?”
I glanced at my sister as Warrick walked past. He didn’t look at me, thank God. “You read my mind?”
She grinned sheepishly. “Sephiel told me to practice. It was just a peek, Con. Honest. But seriously, why did you push him away?”
I put my elbow on the table and leaned my head into my hand, blowing out some air. “There are a lot of reasons.”
She prodded into my mind again. She was my sister, so I let her. Dro’s eyes narrowed. “He’s not Mateo. He would never do that to you.”
I dropped my hand and straightened my head. “Doesn’t matter. He’ll be safer away from me.”
I wished I sounded a little more carefree, instead of sounding like I’d just destroyed my only chance for happiness.
Which is why Dro couldn’t let it go. “That isn’t true, big sister. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen because you aren’t looking. Do you have any idea how much he cares about you? How close he is to–”
I looked at my little sister desperately. “Don’t, Dro. Please.”
She read my eyes, dropping the accusation when she felt how much pain I was in. It was raw, it was my fault, and I didn’t want to think about it.
“Tell me what you learned from Seph.”
Dro frowned deeply, something not suited for her beautiful, saintly face. But she could tell I was finished with the subject of my trust issues and how I would rather isolate myself from a man who wanted me than to go after him. She sighed, but straightened her back.
“He showed me how to draw on heavenfire instead of hellfire. It’s less dangerous, since it’s mostly light. Obviously it would still hurt our enemies, but I would rather use it than hellfire.” She frowned again. “It feels more like a force of good, I suppose.”
But she didn’t want to hurt anyone. Having been burned by heavenfire, I knew just how much pain it could cause.
“The mental powers are a little harder to control,” she went on. “I have to really concentrate on blocking everything out except the person in front of me if I want to read them. I used to just get bits and pieces when I read others, you know? If I want to read full thoughts, I have to basically stare at a person and push apart their mind. It feels like poking Jell-O, which has turned me off of it forever.”
We both stifled a laugh. Dro had loved Jell-O as a kid, constantly eating it even when it made her sick. Who’d have thought it was mind reading that would erase her desire for her favorite childhood treat?
“Sensing and seeing the future is a little harder to do. When I push too far forward, it feels like I’m trying to drive a finger through my brain. That’s why Max decided to get more training from Sephiel with it. I guess he wants to feel more useful.”
Dro glanced over her shoulder at her boyfriend. Softness crept over her face, making her look happy and alive. Max had no idea how much he was helping our group, or my sister.
“I think he’s doing just fine,” I said. It was true.
“He is,” she agreed. Dro stared at Max for a moment longer, then turned back to me. “The only thing I didn’t want to try was the mind control. I really don’t feel comfortable controlling someone. That seems like the kind of thing Lucifer would do.”
We both fell silent at the mention of his name, no doubt considering all the terrible things he could– and probably would– do if he ever found us.
“I don’t think we should stay here much longer,” Dro said. “I think something bad is coming.”
“Any details you can share?”
“Not really, but it’s like there’s a darkness spreading over this place. Like a calm before a storm.”
That was all I needed to hear. “We’ll get out of here then. Tonight. Seph will have to work that little magic teleporting thing.” Which will be about as fun as shoving myself through a drainpipe.
“There’s something else,” Dro hesitated. “It’s about Lucifer.”
Frigid fingers slid down my spine. “What about him?”
She pulled her knees tighter to his chest. “I can hear him when I’m awake now. His voice will just suddenly be in my head, telling me that the angels are going to kill us all. That he can get me into Heaven if I help him find the Gate.”
I snorted. “What a fucking hypocrite.”
Dro barely heard me. She bit her lip and looked away, fighting scared tears. “I can’t shake the images he’s putting in my head, Connie. He says they’re going to keep getting worse, and that if I don’t let him help me, it’s going to get all of you killed. I feel like I’m losing my grip on reality, like one day I’m not going to be able to tell the dream from the truth, and I’m going to hurt one of you.” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “Maybe I’m finally going crazy.”
Dro was as tired of running as I was. I could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. She wanted the same things I did. To live a normal life, to be safe, and have a home. To be in love and know you weren’t going to lose the person to a horrible fate.
“You’re not going any crazier than the rest of us, little sister. I promise.”
But the rest of us weren’t a combination of human, demon, and angel. The rest of us didn’t have angels whispering ill intentions into our heads, or demons creating volatile dreams to make us scream in the middle of the night. The rest of us weren’t part of whatever the Devil had planned, or the chosen vessel for the general of the Heavenly Host. That was more than enough to make anyone insane, even before all the wild superpowers were dumped on. It was a miracle Dro was holding herself together.
The same might not be said for me. I would never let anyone hurt my little sister again, but fighting demons and angels while pushing away all human contact was wearing me down. Dro might not go crazy, but my own mental state was up in the air.
I shuffled closer to her. “I’ll keep you anchored to the real world, Dro. I won’t let you drift away. We’ll stop Lucifer.”
Dro flinched and shook her head, able to tell where my thought process was going. “You can’t do that, Constance. He’s too strong. You can’t fight him.”
Her comment didn’t offend me. I’d witnessed a decimal of Lucifer’s power. I knew I wasn’t stronger than him. I was human. He could snap me like a toothpick. But toothpick or not, I refused to let him take Dro away. I would find a way to make him pay for torturing and nearly killing her.
“You’re right. I can’t. But we can. No one’s invincible. There’s got to be a way to either stop Lucifer’s plans or to lock him up in Hell again. We’ll find it, and we’ll do it. Together.”
That put Dro at ease. She visibly relaxed, even managing a weak smile for my sake. For a minute, she co
uld pretend all her problems were simplified.
“Together.”
She was quiet for a moment, then pinched her eyebrows together.
“Dro? What’s wrong?”
“There are Possessors at the motel.”
She pushed off the bench and walked toward the side of the motel. I quickly followed her. Sephiel, Max, and Warrick saw us moving and hurried after us. Dro pressed herself against the side of the motel wall and looked around the corner. I was taller, and looked over her shoulder.
A cop car was in the middle of the parking lot. Two fully uniformed cops were talking to the motel owner. I stiffened, certain they were here about me. I had been careful to keep my hood up when we got to the motel, and Sephiel made sure to register us under a fake name. I doubted the motel owner had recognized my face, and we didn’t see any other renters. That left one option…one I hated to consider.
“The policemen are possessed,” Dro said, confirming my fear. “They must have followed me.”
I shuddered and looked at her. My sister’s eyes shimmered with power. She wanted to charge and stop the Possessors before they hurt the motel owner. It was something she wouldn’t have a problem doing.
“We must not act rashly,” Sephiel whispered, noticing how tense my sister was. “Remember that all Possessors are connected to Lucifer. An attack on one of them could bring him upon us.”
He barely finished talking before one of the Possessors grabbed the motel owner by the throat and lifted him a foot off the ground. Dro surged forward, but I grabbed her arm and stopped her. She turned and fixed me with a frosty stare. I almost flinched. Dro never looked this angry.
“Sephiel’s right, Dro,” I told her cautiously. “We can’t give Lucifer a chance to find you.”
“So we’re just going to let an innocent man die? I can stop them. You know that.”
“Maybe they won’t kill him,” Max tried. “Maybe they just... oh.”
We looked into the parking lot again. The motel owner was lying on the pavement, his neck bent at a sickening ninety degree angle. He wasn’t going to move again. Dro was nearly shaking with rage. I kept my eye on her as she watched the two Possessors get back into the police car and drive away. It was a long time before she spoke again.
“I could have stopped them,” she said. “I could have saved that man’s life.” She spun and focused her rage on us. “Why did you hold me back?”
Her eyes blazed with blue fury. Sephiel was speechless. Warrick was wary. Even Max didn’t know what to do. I was the only one calm and confident enough to take a step closer to my sister.
“Because he was going to die no matter what we did. If the Possessors didn’t kill him, Lucifer would have shown up and done it instead. We’re not ready to fight him, Dro. I’m sorry, but we’re not, and there’s no way I’m going to let you do it alone.”
Her hands balled into fists at her side. I kept still. I didn’t know what she was going to do or what was pushing her into this sudden anger, but I would never raise a hand to my sister.
Dro blinked, and the anger began to fade. Her eyes flicked between us, and she knew how aggressive she was being. She shrank back.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to...”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah, pretty girl,” Max consoled with a grin. Any unease he felt about his girlfriend was abruptly gone. “You were getting mad for the right reasons. Constance just gets mad at everything.”
I looked at Max. “You do realize I’m standing right beside you and fully armed, right?”
He smirked at me. “Come on, you know you like me to much to stab me.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That so?”
“Yup. Now, if you don’t mind...”
Max put his hand on the back of Dro’s neck and kissed her. Just like that, no fear, no hesitation, nothing to make her worry that he would be afraid of her. My sister melted into his arms, pulling him closer and letting her anxiety slip away. It was sweet, and almost made me think that things would work out the way they were supposed to.
Then I turned around and saw the tender sadness in Sephiel’s eyes before he looked at the ground. Warrick quickly averted his gaze and started to walk away. I frowned. We were all happy for Dro and Max, and I hoped that fate wouldn’t rip them apart.
But the rest of us knew what reality was like, and that heartbreak always came when you least expected it to.
Chapter 6
We ditched the motel before the real, human cops showed up to investigate the owner’s death and walked deeper into Bullhead City to look for a car. We didn’t have a destination yet, but we decided to keep traveling north. The southern half of the country was going crazy. We heard that most of Texas was under quarantine from flesh-eating demons that sounded a lot like ghouls. People scrambled around us, taking as much as they could carry and stuffing it into their cars. It wasn’t long before the roads were clogged with people trying to escape.
Sephiel walked at the front of our group, watching the roads and examining every vehicle he set his sights on. Wherever we intended to go, it would be faster to drive. Teleporting all of us at once used a lot of energy from the movens caeli, and we needed to reserve it in case out next fight went downhill.
Warrick and Max followed behind him, chatting easily. I had to beg Dro to keep me company instead of being with Max. I felt guilty because he relaxed her so much, but I wasn’t ready to be close to Warrick again. So I let her pout and resigned to pay for it later.
It wasn’t easy to take him off my mind, though. I wished I had it in me to apologize, but every time I got the courage, Warrick’s face turned into Mateo’s. My ex-boyfriend had been the definition of tough love...
“I’d get up if I were you.”
I pushed myself off the mat, glaring at my trainer. Mateo stood above me, his black hair tied into a short ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was dressed in a black tank top and black sweatpants. His muscles glistened with sweat, his broad shoulders rising and falling as he breathed heavily. There was a grin on his face and trouble flashing in his eyes.
He looked smoking hot.
I ignored the naughty thoughts making their way into my head, and got onto my hands and knees. Mateo didn’t even wait until I was standing before he attacked me again.
He kicked for my face. I raised my arms and blocked him, shooting out my foot to trip him. He backed away and I rose to my feet. He jumped and kicked at my chin. I batted his foot away and kicked at his ribs. He blocked me with his elbow and shoved his palm toward my sternum.
I grabbed his wrist and turned out of range. He tried to pull his arm back, but I had a good grip on it. I twisted his wrist until his arm was under my control. I made him turn his back to me, and he jabbed me in the stomach with his other elbow. My grip on his wrist slipped, and he spun around. His elbow slammed into the side of my head.
I stumbled to the side, watching the training room spin. I blinked to clear my vision, seeing a horrified look on Mateo’s face. It was gone as soon as I raised my fists again. I was sick of him kicking my ass. Mateo charged me and aimed a kick at my head. I blocked it with my arm. He used his other hand to try and punch my stomach. I brought my knee up and knocked his foot away. I kicked his inside knee and drove my fist into his chest. He stumbled back as I grabbed his arm and held his wrist again. I stepped back so he couldn’t reach me, then kicked his other foot out from under him.
As soon as Mateo was down, I put my foot on his chest. It had taken an hour and countless bruises, but I finally won. I was sore, exhausted, and damn proud.
“All right, all right, this is your round, don’t break my arm,” he said.
I grinned. “Why not? You were smacking me around.”
“Not on purpose. You know that.”
He gave me puppy dog eyes, and I knew I couldn’t stay mad at him. Pain was just part of training. Better I feel it now and prepare f
or it later. After all, he was right. Mateo hadn’t done it on purpose. He was my friend. He would never hurt me.
“I guess I can cut you some slack,” I teased, releasing his arm and stepping back.
Mateo let out the breath he’d been holding as he rolled to his feet. I couldn’t stop myself from admiring his body again. We’d been training for almost three months now. He was coming up on his nineteenth birthday, and every day he looked stronger and much more handsome.
It was even better when he glanced at me, his dark eyes holding all kinds of mystery and promise. More than once, I’d fantasized about being pulled into those muscular arms and feeling his warm lips touch mine.
But as soon as I had those thoughts, I pushed them away. Mateo was Emilio’s only son, the heir to the Blood Thorns. He was one of the leaders of The Watch. Getting involved with him was a whole new definition of bad.
Then again, maybe that was why I wanted him so much.
“Did you hear what I said?”
I snapped out of my trance. “Yeah, of course.”
He grinned and walked closer to me. “I don’t think you did.”
I crossed my arms, hoping he wouldn’t see my heart getting ready to jump out of my chest and into his hands. Was this how all sixteen year old girls acted when they had crushes?
“Care to repeat it?”
Mateo’s smile turned sympathetic. “I said I’m sorry I hit you. I tried to control myself, but you know how it is in a fight. Sometimes you get so caught up in it, and...” His shoulders slouched. “I’m really, really sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. We were training.”
“No, Constance, it’s not okay. Doesn’t matter if we were training. You have to let me make it up to you.”
I tilted my head. “How?”
His warm, dark eyes matched his mischievous smile. My stomach fluttered in response.