by K. S. Kamat
James cleared his throat, “I just found my voice about…” he checked his watch, “a minute ago after you knocked on my door.”
I smiled, “You’re funny.”
“I try.” There was a shadow of a smile, not the real deal. His nose was a little crooked, that little imperfection made him seem almost perfect.
I followed him inside the house; and was appalled by the beautiful, unique furniture that decorated the sitting area. The lamp standing in the corner was dimly lit. I settled into the couch, watching him disappear down a narrow hallway. He returned with a glass of something and placed it in front of me.
He pointed at my belly, “This is good for your baby. Ginger ale.”
“Thank you.” I muttered into the silence. “Your place is nice.”
Mr. Price nodded once, “I need someone to tend my backyard garden and just help me to keep things in order around here, and cook me meals occasionally. I was expecting a male to turn up, but I guess you’ll be fine.” His eyes rested briefly on my stomach.
I crossed my arms across my chest, “Does anyone else live here with you?”
“Nah. It’s just me and a few dead rotting bodies in the basement.” He took a sip of his drink.
I blanched. “Uh…”
“Kidding, I have an uncanny sense of humor.” He continued, “I haven’t seen you around here before.”
“I moved here with my dad recently.”
“Okay. What do you do, Rachel?” he asked me.
“I graduated university, and I was just trying to find a job here, Mr. Price.”
“Call me James.” He nodded, “Are you sure you want it?”
“Yes. At least until I have a permanent job. I’d like this one.” Honesty was always the best policy. “Do I get this job?”
James seemed wary, appearing lost in his thoughts, “Well, if you do have a good degree from Harvard university, and an experience with a good medical college, why not?”
I laughed. Almost snorted, “You’re really funny, y’know.”
He didn’t smile though. The guy was funny and weird in a line. “You’re hired. When would you like to start?”
“Tomorrow?”
“By noon.”
****
“Mr. Price, where do you want me to put this?” I picked up a loaded box.
“Put that down right now! And call me James.” His authoritative voice forced me to comply, “You’re not supposed to pick up heavy stuff like that. Just help me with those plants in the backyard and then you can cook me a simple lunch if that’s not asking too much.”
I smiled, “You’ve hired me to do a job, so I’m supposed to be okay with anything you ask me to do.”
Days turned to weeks, and I actually started to look forward to spending time with James. It was fairly an easy job, and the pay was good. He slipped some cash in my purse when I wasn’t looking. When I asked him if he’d done it, he denied. By eight in the evening, I’d leave for home. What bothered me was the fact that he never smiled. Not once, even though he and I had surpassed the thin line of being strangers.
“Mr. Price, I’m making macaroni and cheese. Is that okay?” I called out to him from his kitchen.
He appeared to be lounging on the couch, carving wooden toys. “Does the baby like macaroni and cheese?”
I couldn’t help but smile, “Yes.”
“I’ll have the same then.”
I cooked silently, added the spices and stirred the spoon slowly. All I wanted to do was watch that man smile at least once. The whiff of the mild spices didn’t make me sick; in fact, I couldn’t wait to dig in.
I gasped as I touched my stomach. I gasped again, loud enough for James to hear. He turned to face me; his face marred the tensed lines. I waved my hands at him as I pulled a chair to sit down. “James, come here.”
I heard the loud clatter of wood hitting wood, his footsteps closed in on me. “What’s wrong, Rachel? Are you alright?”
I motioned him to come closer. “Come closer.”
He shrugged, but came closer nonetheless and kneeled in front of my chair. I took his large warm hand in mine and placed it on my mid-section. He seemed surprised at first, though he didn’t say anything otherwise. I placed my hand on top of his. A few seconds later, I felt something inside me, like the baby was kicking. James’s eyes shot up to find mine.
“Do you feel that, James?” I asked, “He kicked.”
James was mesmerized; he stared at me like I was a miracle and the baby kicked again. Seconds ticked and a soft laughter filled the silence. I stared at James; I’d never seen him laugh. It sounded like the wind chimes, dimple kissed smile that reached his eyes. The most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.
“How are you so sure it’s a boy?” he was still smiling, still holding my stomach. “Maybe it is a beautiful little baby girl who looks just like you, with beautiful brown eyes.” He smiled again, and I just wanted him to keep smiling at me. “Do you want to tell me what happened, Rachel?”
The smile on my face was wiped off like a clean slate. I broke down into tears. Maybe it was my pregnant hormones doing this to me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, not when James looked at me with such care. Not when he was the only one who touched the kicking baby, when the guy who has put me in the position should have.
“I…” My throat went dry, “I was raped.”
There was silence in the entire room.
I willed myself to continue, “I don’t know who that guy was but, he..he..raped me that night when I was getting home from work. He just cornered me in a dark alley...” I couldn’t say all the vile things that happened that horrible night. It haunted me every time I thought about it. “And a few weeks later, I realized I was pregnant.”
James turned off the stove and pulled another chair beside mine. He caressed my back softly as he pulled me closer, “Let it go, Rachel, let it go. I wish I could take all the bad things that happened to you, but I can’t. Let the past remain where it is. In the past.”
He handed me a glass of water when I started to hiccup. “No more tears. Your baby and you deserve all the happiness. Not tears.”
“What’s your story?” I asked him.
James stared at me for a long time, unsure if he wanted to unravel a piece out of the puzzle that was him. I thought he was going to dismiss me for the inquisition. I’d earned his trust. “My wife and my child died a few years ago. I was driving and...” He choked, “And this drunk guy driving a truck drove into us…They died on impact, Rachel. I lost my wife and one year old son.”
I choked another sob; I placed my hand over his. “I’m sorry.”
The puzzle pieces were coming together. I knew why he never socialized or never smiled. The answer was right there.
The thunder storm pulled us out of the spell. He brought his dog inside the house, who appeared to be playing with a rubber ball. I climbed to my feet. “It’s late. I need to go…”
“You haven’t eaten your meal and it’s going to rain outside.” He sounded concerned, “You should stay here until the thunder dies down and I’ll drive you home later.”
“Okay.” I agreed. I didn’t want to worry him more.
We had the simple dinner in silence. I felt so much better after I’d talked to someone who actually understood and cared. I’d never even told those things to my father. It was probably wrong, but this broken man was claiming my heart slowly.
“Do you want to see something else?” he asked after he’d washed the dishes.
“Sure.”
James led me farther into the house down a few stairs to a room that I guessed was his basement. I was reluctant at first, but he held me as I went down each step. He switched on the basement light, which showcased an army of miniature toys. I giggled like a school girl as I walked further into the room and looked at all the beautiful handiwork.
“It’s beautiful, James. Did you make these?”
He nodded once.
There were Trains, different type
s of cars; there were cute Japanese dolls, Eiffel tower, doggies and kitties, all in different shapes and sizes, I picked up the little things. It was carved with such detail. Making toys out of wood was really old school, but had its own uniqueness. Just like James. He was different.
“Do you think your baby will like to play with these?” he asked.
I glanced up at him. He looked hopeful.
“Of course, James. These are adorable.”
There was that smile again. A genuine smile. I knew I was falling in love with this man. By just being near him and having him talk to me, he put me at ease. This feeling was new.
****
James was in the hospital the entire night when my girl was born. My father started to get the idea of what was going on between the two of us, but he was supportive. When James was allowed to hold my girl, that smile kicked in again. He was overjoyed. He wouldn’t take his eyes off the baby.
“Are you?” The nurse walked into the room.
James tore his eyes away from us. “I’m the father.”
The nurse smiled at us. “I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
****
James wouldn’t let the child out of his sight. He played with her all day. We named her Hope. It was James who recommended it, of course.
“Daddy…” Hope called out to James as she made his way towards him, showing off her basket of flowers. She was so full of life, and a bundle of joy. He scooped her up and she giggled.
He smiled at her, “Don’t you wander off and make your daddy worry like that.”
I watched the two playing together and started to head inside the house when two strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me towards him.
James pushed my hair behind my ear, “Thank you for coming into my life.”
“I love you.” I told him for the hundredth time.
He cupped my face, “And I you. I may never forget my wife or my kid, Rachel, I don’t want to forget them, but I’m healing. Slowly. Because you are here for me, you gave me a reason in life…” He glanced at the little girl grinning at us, “You gave me Hope. It’s all I want now. You are all I will ever want. Thank you for falling in love with me.”
I wrapped my arms around him tighter. “You’ve given me something in return, too.”
“What’s that?”
“You.”
He smiled. The one which I loved and he kissed my forehead. The nightmares weren’t coming back. James had taken all the nightmares away by letting me love him.
Soulmate
“Mom! I’m leaving for school.” I announced as I ran downstairs to the dining area. The lovely aroma of pancakes entered my nostrils.
My mother looked busy with cooking more breakfast, seeming oblivious to my existence. I was so wrong. “Sit and eat.” She barked.
I forked a piece of the delicious pancake and shoveled it in my mouth. “I’m already late for school. Good morning, Dad.”
Dad acknowledged me with a nod, his nose buried deep in the newspaper. I noticed the brown coffee spot on his crisp white shirt, which told me the coffee in his mug was a third or probably even a fourth refill. The pancakes remained untouched and yet he wasn’t getting fired back. That was how stuff worked around the Ross household, Joanna Ross being the only victim of her mother’s wrath.
“That isn’t my problem. That plate should be polished clean before you walk out of the house. End of story.” Mom pointed accusingly at the platter with the batter- dripping spatula.
I grabbed for the remaining pancake and devoured it, ignoring the angry orders being thrown at me and stepped outside the house. The balmy weather could have been a great start if I wasn’t so nervous about being terrorized yet again by the same problem that kept looming over my head like a dark cloud for the past two years. The cloud also came with a name, Cameron Reid.
I hopped onto my bike and peddled my way towards the general direction of Harbor High, trying to enjoy the breeze rather than contemplating over ways I could ditch the infamous bully of all time. School used to be so much fun until junior year, it would have remained that way if I hadn’t decided to open my big fat mouth and defend my best friend against the guy.
Now, let me tell you one thing. One does not talk against Cam Reid and manage to live through the entire senior year smoothly. Cam pulled the strings around the campus. The students and the teacher’s were puppets of his torture games alike, although I miserably failed to remain under the radar most of the time. He made Jigsaw from the Saw movies look lame. I was so preoccupied by thoughts that I hadn’t noticed the school building looming in front of me.
My swimming competition was a month away and so my teachers cut me some slack and let me practice for thirty minutes in the school swimming pool every day. Why wouldn’t they? The golden trophy would remain sparkling on one of the school shelves anyway. Certainly not mine.
“Joanna.” I turned to the owner of the voice. My blurry, water filled eyes focused on Miranda, classmate and friend. She stood by the pool, beaming at me. “I’ve been looking all over for you. I thought you were already done with your practice.”
“I was just getting started.” I stared at her longer than necessary.
As if answering my unvoiced question, she declared. “I doubt Cam is coming to school today. He was still under the covers when I left. I’m guessing it’s a hangover from last night.” A pause later she added, “I hope it’s a bad one.”
I grinned back at her. Even though I hated Cam’s guts, I couldn’t stop liking his sister. She was one reason to tick him off. “Let’s not live in a fantasy, shall we? After all, it’s Cam we are talking about here.”
“You’re right.” Miranda said apologetically. “I just don’t want Cam to be a reason to screw what we have. I’m just glad you’re hanging out with me, Jo. I wish I could stop him.”
“I will never judge you just because you’re Cam’s sister, Miranda. It’s not your fault if your brother is a moron.”
She chuckled softly. “Meet me at lunch, okay?”
I nodded and continued with my swim routine. Swimming always helped to soothe my mind, all the anxiety would just evaporate in thin air. I continued to swim, the water splashing being the only sound booming around me. When I was busy doing backstrokes, I heard a key turn somewhere. I ignored the sound at first, assuming it was the janitor doing some cleaning. Then, there was another sound followed by a loud bang of the locker that startled me. I glanced up to find a pair of ocean blue orbs staring me down. I tried to conceal the dread that washed over me, not wanting to give Cameron the satisfaction that his mere presence affected me in anyway. I went back to resuming my practice with easy strokes and swam as far away from the tall figure as I could get.
“How long are you planning on avoiding me?” Cam towered above the pool, studying me with curious eyes. The ends of his dark curls were swept across his forehead. Cam reminded me so much of a vulture waiting to tear apart his prey.
“Go to hell!” I shot back as I started to pull myself up from the pool. The last thing I wanted right now was to breathe the same air as him.
I hadn’t seen him close the distance so fast; his powerful arm took hold of my head and shoved me down. I thrashed my arms in a failed attempt of saving myself from drowning. He yanked me upward by the roots of my hair and plunged me back in, holding my head inside the water for a few seconds. I felt like my soul was getting sucked out of my body, drifting away. Few more torturing seconds later, Cam pushed me on the wet tile. I coughed up some water, disappointed to be still breathing.
“Fun, wasn’t it?” Cam grinned at me. “We’ll do this again next time. It’ll help with improving your stamina.”
“I’m going to report you to the school authority.” I threatened him between coughs, though the chances of him feeling threatened by the likes of me, were slim. I pulled myself up and staggered my way into the changing room.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you because then you may have to kiss graduation goodbye.
” Cameron’s mouth twitched upward in a lopsided grin, one which I was so accustomed to despise.
“I’m not scared of you.” I reached for the bag which consisted of my change of clothes but found nothing. The bench was empty. “Where is my bag, Cameron?”
“I don’t know.” He said innocently, but I knew better than to trust his words. He pretended to brood over it and said, “Last time I checked, it was in the basketball court with Dean Wilson. You might want to go outside and check with him.”
“Cameron, I’m warning you. Give me back my clothes.” My fingers balled into tight fists. Admitting defeat was the worst. “Please.”
He spun away from me and swaggered out of the pool area, without so much a second glance, leaving me to deal with the turmoil of emotions. Anger and embarrassment took control. I was a nut for keeping my phone inside that bag and even nuttier for not putting the bag inside the locker.
Cameron had stabbed at me at the right time when he knew I was defenseless without my clothes or my phone. I could pretty much walk out into the corridor and ask Dean for my belongings, which also meant I would be the laughing stock of Harbor High until my last day on planet earth. I settled on the bench as I waited for someone to find me, but no one came until one hour later when I had already missed two periods. I explained to the gym teacher about the situation. He listened attentively with an impassive face and told me to wait until he got hold of my friend.
****
Days passed in a bat of an eye, but the routine was just the same. Each morning light came as a ray of hope, only to be crushed by the ruthless bullying. During a point of time, I thought I’ve had enough and I contemplated over changing schools but that would only prove I was weak, that I had no power to fight back. Whenever the thought of backing down came to my mind, Oliver’s words would help me move on. Oliver Williams, my best friend and the only man I will ever love, always taught me to never give up.
He always stood up for me when no one else could.
“Jo, you are strong and nothing, not even a bully can make you weak.” His words kept haunting me, just the way his death had. He promised me Forever and Always, said he would watch over me, but I didn’t feel protected at all. Oliver lied. He wasn’t around to see how Cameron blocked my path and whispered nasty things in my ear nor did he see the dead rotting rats make their way underneath my desks.