by Melissa Good
An awkward silence fell, as Kerry’s eyes dropped to the comforter, the sudden strike at her own hidden insecurities going home with a vengeance. ”I...”
Dar felt her heart drop. ”You didn’t think that,” she questioned 232
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softly. ”Kerry? Look at me.”
Fearful green eyes slowly lifted to hers.
”Kerry, I hired you because I thought you would be a tremendous asset to me, and an excellent assistant,” Dar told her gently. ”And I was very, very right. What would make you think otherwise?” She felt a little bewildered.
Kerry’s eyes dropped again. ”I, I don’t know,” she confessed softly.
”Maybe because I’ve been told all my life that’s how things work.” Her eyes crept up Dar’s still body. ”You don’t get things because you work hard, or because you deserve them. You get them because someone pays for them, or because someone wants something from you.”
Dar looked stricken. ”Kerry.”
”I know.” Kerry let her head fall and rest against Dar’s skin. ”I know. My head knows, and god, my heart knows differently, Dar, but sometimes, sometimes I look in the mirror, and I can’t help thinking, why me?” She lifted her head. ”It’s like I’m in a fairy tale, and one day a wicked witch is going to wave her wand, and I’ll be back home, or you’ll get t...tired of me, or...” She blinked her eyes, and tears hit Dar’s shoulder. ”I can’t help it.”
Dar exhaled in dismay, understanding a little more about her lover.
”Kerry.” She cupped the smaller woman’s cheek, seeing the glittering tears. ”I meant those words, and I promise you, I promise you, I’ll always be here for you, no matter what,” she reassured her. ”I will never leave you.”
”What if I screw up at work?” Kerry asked. ”What if I can’t do this?””Sweetheart, I don’t give a damn,” Dar told her. ”If you want to quit, and do nothing but sell seashell futures over the Internet from the condo, that’s more than okay by me. Are you really worried about it?
You do a fantastic job.”
”I don’t want to ever disappoint you,” Kerry whispered.
Dar tucked the blonde head against her chest and hugged her. ”You won’t.”
Kerry rested there for a moment. ”Sorry,” she finally muttered.
”I’m not sure where that little bout of insecurity came from.” She played with the edge of Dar’s sleep shirt. ”In the middle of the damn night, too.””It’s all right.” Dar rubbed gentle circles against her back, willing her pounding heart to slow. ”We’ve both been through some rough times.”
Kerry nodded. ”I know. It makes it very hard to trust this doesn’t it?” She gently returned to her position, curling an arm back around Dar’s belly.
”Yes, it does,” Dar admitted, circling her with both arms and pulling her closer. ”But we’ll get through it.”
Kerry relaxed against her. ”Together,” she added quietly.
”Always,” Dar confirmed.
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“BRR.” DAR SNUGGLED further down into the covers, giving the early morning light an evil look. ”It’s cold out there.” She glanced at the thermostat, then back at her trying not to giggle bedmate. ”We forgot to turn the heater on.”
”You are such a wuss.” Kerry butted her head into Dar’s chest, then she rolled onto her back. ”All right. I guess I have to prove my northern roots and get up to turn the heat on.” She ducked out from under the covers and winced as her feet hit the cold floor. ”Yow.” She scampered across the surface and got to the thermostat, tossing it up into the broil range, then bounded back and hopped into bed like a large, blonde kangaroo. ”Yikes, that is cold.”
”Hah hah.” Dar grinned. Then she relented and tossed the covers around Kerry, pulling her back into a pocket of wonderfully Dar smelling warmth. ”Thanks.”
”Ungh.” Kerry ducked her head under the blanket and deliberately snuck her chilled hands under Dar’s shirt, grinning as she felt the taller woman’s gasp. ”Heh, you’re nice and warm.” She gently tweaked the skin under her fingertips.
”Yeah, except for these blocks of ice up against my stomach.” Dar gave her a mock glare, now very wide awake. ”How did you get so cold in that short a time?”
Kerry shrugged, snuggling closer. ”Heat all rushed to my brain, I guess, to keep me from plowing into the window.”
She yawned,
making a soft, squeaking noise. ”So, a little riding, then some sailing, right?” She found herself really looking forward to the day.
”Breakfast first,” Dar corrected. ”Millie makes the best cheese grits I’ve ever had.”
”Cheese grits,” Kerry sighed. ”That ranks where on the health meter, between munching on a solid stick of butter and swallowing chocolate syrup?” Sometimes she seriously wondered how Dar had actually lived as long as she had, and was in the physical condition she obviously was. Maybe her chemistry burned things differently or something. ”Jesus.”
Dar chuckled softly, used to the woebegone protests by now. ”I think they serve a sprig of parsley with them if it makes you feel better,” she replied innocently. ”Besides, you like them,” she reminded her lover.
Green eyes peeked warily up from the dark recesses of the comforter. ”You are a bad influence,” Kerry informed her. ”You tricked me into liking them.”
”You’re the one who brought home Snowballs for dinner the other night,” Dar teased Kerry, who tickled her in revenge. ”Hey!”
”Like I had a choice?” Kerry persisted, finding a good spot just under Dar’s ribcage that was making her squirm. ”It was either that, or eat ‘The Eggs from the Black Lagoon’, and ‘Son of Maybe it Once was Bacon, but now, who knows?’” she shuddered. ”Believe me, the mystery 234
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crème in the snowballs was much safer.”
Dar was laughing helplessly. ”Okay, okay, I give up, you win.” She draped her arms over Kerry’s body and exhaled, watching the rising sun inch its way into the window. The gentle, pink beams were broken by the leaves outside, and they laid an intricate pattern over the blankets. ”Nice day out.”
Kerry burrowed up a little, and peeked at the window. ”Mm, yeah, this is going to be fun.” She looked up at Dar with a frank, happy grin.
”I haven’t been riding for years. I hope I remember how.”
Dar gave her a squeeze. ”Don’t worry, it comes back to you,” she promised. ”They’ve got a nice string of horses here, only one or two meanies.”
”One or two, huh?” Kerry eyed her speculatively. ”Let’s see.” She raised a hand to her head and pressed her fingers to her temple, then closed her eyes. ”My psychic ability is telling me those are the ones you pick.” One green orb opened, and its brow tilted up. ”Yes?”
Dar let out a low, throaty chuckle, and rewarded her with a sexy grin. ”Very good, Madame Poo Poo.” She inclined her head in agreement. ”Hey, I can get you a 900 number for the office, make you a profit center. How about it?”
Kerry laughed. ”Oh yeah. I can see that.” Operations and Prognostication, Stuart speaking,” she mimicked herself, rolling her eyes when Dar started laughing too. ”I’d be a real hit in Sales meetings.”
”Nah,” Dar disagreed. ”What would they do with their Ouija board, and the eight ball José keeps stuffed up his butt?”
”Oh god, that's bad. What a visual picture.” Kerry winced, covering her eyes. ”Ewww...ew... Dar, gross. I need to flush my cache.”
”Here.” Dar fished her out of the covers, and pulled her up, kissing her soundly. The contact continued past where she’d intended, and after a long moment they broke off and looked at each other, panting a little. ”Better?” Dar asked, on an irregular breath.
”Than what?” Kerry wondered, gazing at her in goofy adoration.
”Is it just my opinion that you’re such an awesome kisser?” She reached up and traced Dar’s lower lip with a finger, shaking her head a
little.
”Or is it that everything you do takes on such a deeper meaning for me?”Dar cocked her head and thought about that. ”I don’t know,” she finally answered, honestly. ”I’ve never had anyone tell me that before, but I’ve noticed that just about everything I do with you is, um.” She pursed her lips and rocked her head from side to side. ”Right, if you know what I mean.”
”Mm.” Kerry waggled her eyebrows. ”I know what you mean,” she stated, then blushed a little and tucked her head into Dar’s shoulder.
God, Kerry, you are turning into a wanton little hussy, aren't you?
”Shall we go and find you some cheese grits, boss?” She gave Dar a Hurricane Watch
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squeeze. ”Maybe you’ll humor me and have a nice chicken sandwich for lunch, hmm?”
”Sure,” Dar agreed amiably, remembering Millie’s chicken sandwiches, which consisted of a deep fried breast, covered in gravy, on a toasted, buttery roll. ”No problem.”
Kerry eyed her suspiciously, but the blue eyes peered back with devastating innocence. ”You know I’m just doing this for your own good, right?” she queried. ”Not just to be a pain in the neck.”
Dar touched her forehead to Kerry's. ”Yes, I know that.” She paused and thought. ”It’s actually kind of nice to have someone be worried about me. My parents gave up on that a long, long time ago.”
”Really?” Kerry murmured.
”Yeah,” her lover admitted. ”My mom told me when I was, I guess sixteen or so, that if I did whatever I wanted, and had my body fall apart at age thirty, don’t come back and complain about her being right all those years.”
Kerry peeked under the blanket, then gazed at her. ”Dar?”
”Hmm?”
”She was wrong.”
”I know. My father always said his genes could beat the pants off of a diet that would kill just about anyone else.” Dar laughed a little self-consciously. ”I guess I’m just lucky I take after him.”
”Hey Dar, I was just wondering.” Kerry wrapped a thick lock of dark hair around one finger, and gave her a wistful smile. ”Do you think we’re best friends?”
The silence of the cabin lengthened as Dar regarded the covers pensively. ”I have no idea what that means,” she finally admitted, looking up at Kerry. ”I have nothing to judge it against, really.”
”Mm.” Kerry let out a small breath.
”I do know I feel closer to you than I have to anyone else in my life before,” Dar offered, a touch hesitantly. ”I’ve told you things about myself that I’ve never said to anybody else,” she paused. ”Or wanted to.” She searched Kerry’s face. ”Does that count?”
”It’s hard to remember.” Kerry rolled out of bed and paced across the floor, running her hands through her hair. ”It’s been a long time for me.” She walked over to the built in hot water dispenser, and picked up a cup, dropping a fragrant peach scented teabag into a cup and pouring water over it.
After a moment, she pulled down another cup, and riffled among the assortment of teas, choosing a blackberry one for Dar and steeping it. ”Angie and I were always pretty close,” she commented. ”But it was a sister thing. I had friends in grade school, but they kinda got fewer as I got older.”
Dar had gotten out of bed and came up behind her, putting her hands on Kerry’s shoulders and gently squeezing them. ”That happens,” she said. ”People grow apart.”
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Kerry nodded, stirring sugar into the cups. ”I know. I had a best friend in high school,” she answered. ”Peggy. Her parents and my parents were friends, so we saw each other a lot.” She turned, and handed Dar her cup. ”We had sleepovers, went to movies, shared our crushes, you know.”
Dar studied her. ”Yeah,” she finally nodded.
Kerry took a sip of her tea. ”You don’t know, do you?”
Surprisingly, Dar chuckled. ”Kerry, I was the girl your mother told you to stay away from,” she admitted. ”The one who ran with the guys, got into trouble, picked fights, and raised hell.” She sighed. ”No, there weren’t many sleepovers in my checkered youth. The movies were mostly R and X rated ones we snuck into, and crushes...” A faint shake of her head. ”I didn’t have time for those.” She glanced up. ”You still talk to Peggy?”
A quiet, sad look crossed Kerry’s face. ”No.” Her gaze dropped to the floor. ”In our senior year, she got into trouble. A guy she’d been dating got a little frisky, and she didn’t know enough to say no. She got pregnant.” A quiet pause. ”They sent her away somewhere. I got a letter from her, twice. The second time she told me she’d had her baby, a little girl.”A silence fell. ”And?” Dar gently prodded. ”What happened?”
Kerry looked up. ”I don’t know. I never heard from her again.
When my folks found out about the letters, they were furious. They told me if they caught me with her anymore, I’d be punished.” She exhaled slowly. ”I never got close to anyone again after that. It was just too complicated.”
”You’re friends with Colleen, though,” Dar objected, a little concerned at her lover’s pensive air. ”Kerry, everyone loves you. I haven’t met a person yet who doesn’t, unless it was a total asshole who even his own mother would hate.” She spread a hand out. ”You could have hundreds of friends. You know that.”
”Too many people to worry about,” Kerry responded seriously.
”I’ve tried to keep my life simple since then.”
”Until now,” Dar stated quietly.
”Mm,” her companion wryly agreed.
”Kerry?”
”Yeah?”
Dar put a hand on her cheek. ”I think we are best friends.” She leaned over and kissed her forehead. ”C’mon, let’s go get some breakfast.”
Kerry smiled, then raised herself on her toes and claimed a proper kiss. She could taste the blackberry on Dar’s lips, and decided it went well with her peach. ”Okay, you’re on.”
They washed and dressed quickly, but not so quickly that a sponge fight was missed. Then they headed across the dew scattered ground in the brisk early morning air.
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”So.” Kerry linked an arm through her companions' ”You were a hellraiser, huh?”
”Oh yeah,” Dar confirmed. ”First class. I even had a switchblade.”
”Did you really?” Kerry gazed at her, in bemused surprise.
”Yeah, of course, the one time I almost had to use it I opened it backwards and nearly cut my own finger off, but...”
They both started laughing, as their steps scattered the rising mist.
Chapter
Eighteen
IT WAS A very, tall horse, Kerry reflected, as she collected her reins, and gently nudged her chestnut mare in the ribs with hesitant knees. Wow, has it ever been a long time. She sighed, watching Dar enviously as the taller woman vaulted up on just the snazziest looking gray stallion, with neat black hooves, and a beautiful black mane and tail. The horse was restive, but Dar settled into her seat as though she was used to doing this on a daily basis, her calves pressing against the sleek gray sides, and calming the agitated horse down.
It figures she’s good at this too. Kerry sighed. She tried to remember exactly how she was supposed to direct the horse, sorting memories from her early high school days, when her mother had grudgingly allowed her English riding lessons from a local stable.
She’d loved the horses themselves, really, more than riding them.
The feel of the sleek, hard bodies under her hands as she learned how to clean them, and the soft feel of the tiny hairs on their muzzles as they lipped corn from her palm. They were simple, and undemanding, wanting only good grass and clean water, and from her, nothing but corn, and the odd apple if she felt so inclined.
Dominick had been her favorite, a stocky brown hunter, whose back she’d spent hours on learning to balance without holding on. She’d been so excited the first time she’d done the entire cir
cuit without once grabbing for the front of the saddle, or the reins, or Dominick’s clipped mane.
Kerry smiled in memory, and patted her mare’s neck, comforted when the sedate animal craned her head around, and snorted a little at her. ”Hey there, girl. We’re gonna be good friends, right?”
The mare tossed her head, then looked up suspiciously as the gray stallion closed in, picking up his feet meticulously. ”Hey, you ready to move out?” Dar asked, reaching around to adjust the pack she carried behind her, which was full of a neatly wrapped picnic lunch. ”We can go up a nice trail just north of here. It ends up on a small plateau overlooking a little spring. It’s a nice place, and about a two hour ride.”
”Sounds great to me,” Kerry agreed, tipping her head back and drinking in the sunlight. The weather had cleared nicely, and it was cold with a light breeze. She was wearing a thick sweater and her Hurricane Watch
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heaviest jeans, complimented by a pair of boots Dar had insisted on buying for her, saying she couldn’t ride all that way in sneakers.
Sure I could, Kerry reasoned, glancing down at the soft, creamy tan leather that snugly covered her calves. Just glad I don’t have to.
She settled her heels contentedly and glanced over at Dar, who was resplendent in the very cheerful, heavy red sweater Kerry had insisted on reciprocating with. It contrasted nicely with her dark hair and tanned skin. Kerry decided she very much liked Dar in that color.
Her own hair was also neatly braided, and tucked into a knot at the back of her neck. She enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her skin and the cool touch of the wind which unexpectedly brushed across the bared back of her neck. She nudged her horse into a walk, following Dar’s stallion towards the start of a half hidden path going upward.
It was a wonderful day for a ride, and she nudged her horse a little faster, until she was side by side with Dar as they ambled up the path together. The trees, pines mostly, rustled over head, and she became aware of the small sounds of the forest around her.
Dead leaves rattling softly down.
The wind moving branches.
The soft, rhythmic footfalls of the horses.