“I can mend yer clothing or clean yer quarters. I can make cake.” She looked to his empty plate.
Dorian dismissed her offer. “No need. Would ye be willing to walk with me?”
“Walk?”
He nodded and stood, holding out his hand. “Walk with me.”
When she placed her hand in his, Ileana trembled visibly. “Very well.”
They left the galley and walked to the top deck and around the back where she and Reginald normally talked.
ILEANA STUDIED DORIAN’S profile as he remained silent and looked out toward the sea. He was at home there. That was easy to grasp by the way he maneuvered about the ship and the obvious respect of the crew. She supposed after so many years of doing something one became part of it. The change in him was drastic from the man she’d known.
The Dorian she’d loved so many years ago was kind and caring. And although good with the sword, he preferred to spend his time helping with the horses around the stables.
“What happened to ye after I left?” It was the question that had kept her up at night. Why had he become a pirate? Albeit infamous, but in actuality he was nothing more than a common thief.
Dorian’s sharp, green gaze moved over her face, the handsome features not giving away his thoughts. It seemed, amongst other things, he’d become a master of masking his emotions. If he still had any.
“Have ye heard of what a pirate says when asked such a question?”
Ileana shook her head slowly. “Nay.”
“Ask me no questions, I will tell ye no tales.” His lips curved at the corners, but there was no joviality in his eyes. “Let’s just say I had a misstep or two and ended up having to leave Uist.”
“A misstep doesn’t leave a man with a scarred back.”
“Ah then ye must have already forgotten Reginald’s.”
It was preferable to turn away than to slap him. The last thing she needed was for him to have her flogged. There was no doubt in her mind this Dorian would order it.
What she didn’t expect was for his arms to encircle her and for Dorian to pull her close. He remained silent, holding her against him, not forcefully, but with care.
“Do ye remember the night we stole away? Ye were more terrified of wild beasties than being caught.”
How often she’d remembered that night. Over the years, she’d fantasized of what her life would have been like if she’d been brave and left with Dorian instead of allowing fear to dictate her actions.
“Aye. Ye were not understanding and kept laughing at me.”
Dorian chuckled. “Tis yer body I was after. I should have realized that to calm ye would have been a better way to seduce ye.”
Ileana decided that although he didn’t wish to share his past, she would. Somehow, she’d reach his frozen heart and, hopefully, he’d find it within himself to help her. “I thought about ye and that night many a time. During the worst days, I knew that once I was alone, I could think about ye and everything would seem better.”
Although he stiffened, Dorian did not release her. Ileana continued. “Ye can believe me or not. At this point, it does not matter. Ye are the only man I have ever loved Dorian. Never did my love for ye waver. Thinking of ye was what got me through all these years. Now, I realize that I am in love with who ye used to be.”
Ileana turned in his arms and tipped her face up to him. “Remind me of that Dorian. Kiss me like he once did.”
When his mouth covered hers, she clung to his wide shoulders. His body was hard and rippling, not at all like the younger Dorian. As his lips traveled over hers, waves of heat traveled through her body. She knew without a doubt that this night she would be in his bed.
THEY ENTERED HIS cabin while still kissing and began undressing upon crossing the threshold. His body was a masterpiece of muscle and scarring that beckoned a woman’s touch and, yet, seemed untouchable at the same time.
Unlike before, Ileana gave herself totally to the experience. If she never was to be with him again, this time it would be as memorable as the first when she’d given her maidenhead to the younger Dorian.
Once they were both totally and abashedly nude, he lowered her to the rug and hovered over her. Dorian pulled her arms over her head and then ran his hands from her shoulders down to cup her breasts.
Ileana studied his face while he slid his palms down her sides to grasp her hips. With an intent expression, he remained the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
“Ye remain most beautiful,” he murmured, and pushed her legs apart with his. Dorian’s gaze looked to hers for a moment before lowering to concentrate on her sex.
It was hard to remain still, but she wanted him to do as he pleased with her body because she planned to do the same in return.
She sucked in a breath when he pressed kisses from one hipbone to the other, his tongue flicking over the sensitive skin. Tingles raced over her body and she shuddered. Ileana’s chest tightened with the need to cry out, but she refrained. There was no need to call attention.
Ever so slowly, he moved over her until his body was fully atop her, the weight of him most welcome. It was then his mouth finally took hers with a hunger so ravaging she could barely stand it.
Dorian’s hair was like a silken curtain as it enclosed their faces, making the intimacy of the moment even more erotic.
How would she be able to leave and not see him again?
The soft tresses of his overly-long hair slipped between her fingers as she raked them through to grasp his head.
“Dorian…” Ileana gasped out more than said. “Please.”
He broke the kiss, but only to drag his lips down to her throat. It would be torturous, wonderful agony until they joined and she delighted in the feel of his skin and every inch where his body touched hers. The ship rocked as the ocean became a bit rough, but she didn’t care about anything more in this moment than being with him.
Finally, he lifted up and, eyes locked with hers, he guided himself to her entrance. “Tonight, ye will be mine.”
With that vow, he drove partly in and she moaned. She was not used to his girth. Dorian was much larger than Fergus and it was a bit uncomfortable at first. She pushed at his hips, not sure she could take him fully.
He held her by the hips and thrust in.
Ileana cried out; not in pain, but at the sensation of being so fully taken. It was in that moment she realized he’d held back the last time.
“Yes.” Her voice held an urgent plea. “Dorian.”
Once again, he kissed her and began moving in a slow and steady rhythm. Their bodies fit perfectly, one against the other.
While they made love, a tangle of limbs and caresses, the world vanished. All that remained was the other person and the tastes and sounds that they made.
NOT FULLY SATED, Ileana climbed over Dorian, taking him into her body. Then rising and lowering, she did not stop until both shuddered in release.
Later, in the bed, once again they made love. This time, it was more leisurely. Neither spoke, because in doing so they would bring back reality.
This night would be about new memories, two people who were no longer who they once were. The young lovers who were torn apart by fear and lack of maturity no longer existed.
A flood of heat traveled the length of her body and Ileana thrashed through a climax, shuddering as she called out Dorian’s name.
In response, he took her mouth and plunged faster and harder, his own finish coming. His hoarse cry in her ear produced a beautiful sound.
Still joined, Ileana refused to release him. Her fingers digging into his buttocks, she held Dorian in place for a long moment. He finally pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to her.
Her body felt completely boneless. Every part of her lacked the strength to do much more than lay beside him.
When he pulled her into his arms, she let out a sigh of relief and fell into an exhausted, spent slumber.
DORIAN REMAINED AWAKE. His mind was in a fog as he tried to
keep from allowing the emotions to run free. If someone were to ask him in that moment to give everything up for the woman in his arms, he would without hesitation.
A battle raged within him. To move and get away from her and go as far as possible, while another side of him tempted for him to never let her out of his reach. It would come to this, of course.
Ileana had been what gave him strength to withstand the long weeks in a dungeon. The thrashings became bearable when he pictured her face. And when he’d been on a dirty cot ravaged by sores and fever on the verge of death, it was picturing her face that had given him the will to live.
The man he was now, whether good or bad, he owed to her.
She sighed and tightened her hold around his waist, as if in her sleep she feared he’d move away.
Slowly, he lifted her arm and slipped from the bed and went to peer out at the night sky. There was a full moon, which gave enough light to see the dark surface of the ocean. Most nights when he watched from there, he’d think about the next days and what the plans were. On this night, however, his gaze kept returning to the beauty in his bed. Her disheveled hair across his pillow and skin radiant in the moonlight drew his attention.
Dorian kept his gaze on her for a long time, committing to memory every inch of her. She had to leave. He’d ensure her safety. But once the morning came, he would avoid her at all costs.
This life, his life did not allow for any kind of relationship. Having a woman meant he would be weakened. In battle, fear of any harm coming to her would hinder his ability to remain in the moment.
The thoughts like those of a young lad aggravated him and he looked to the doorway. He should leave.
Moments later, Dorian finally fell asleep. Ileana was in his arms.
Chapter Eight
LILY HELD GREGOR’S hand making her way to the rear of the ship where she could give him free rein to play. The child had grown accustomed to life at sea and, admittedly, so had she.
As per usual, Connor appeared and she smiled at him. The rapport she’d developed with the man became closer with each passing day and Lily hated to think of the day they’d disembark. Once they left, she’d never see Connor again.
He walked up to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Good day, Lily.”
“Ye shouldn’t do that,” she protested weakly.
Connor looked about to say something, but then his gaze flickered past her. He looked right to where Ileana had appeared.
“I’ll take him. Why don’t ye spend some time alone, Lily?” Ileana took Gregor’s hand. “Let’s go see about bathing ye.”
“I have something to ask ye,” Connor said, trapping her between his arms. Her back against the railing, Lily could only gape at him.
“What are ye doing? Someone could come.” She attempted to look around him, barely able to see more than a wall.
Connor’s mouth covered her lips, startling Lily so that she held on to his shoulders to keep from falling. The kiss lingered, as she did not push him away. Warmth enveloped Lily and she relaxed when his arms encircled her.
“Stay here with me,” he whispered into her ear. “I won’t be able to stand continuing on without ye.”
The same thoughts had occurred to Lily. That she’d not see him daily drove her to tears. However, how could she not go with Ileana? If she left Ileana alone with Gregor in a foreign land, she’d never forgive herself for it.
“I cannot, Connor. Please understand.”
He cupped her chin and lifted her face. “Do ye love me?”
“Aye.” The response shocked them both. “I do,” Lily said with more conviction. “But I can’t leave her or Gregor. They will be all alone.”
“Then I will come with ye.”
Lily laughed at the thought. “To live as a pirate? One without a ship to call his own?”
“I have…had another life before this.” He became serious. “In England. Think on it. I would help ye be safe and take ye to England with me. We will buy a house and …”
He did not ask her to marry him, but to remain as his lover then? Lily wasn’t sure what to say. On one hand, yes, his presence would mean she, Ileana and Gregor would be protected. At the same time, what would their life be with him?
“Are ye proposing that we live together? In the same house?” Lily peered up at him. “I have never aspired to more than being a maid, a servant who marries another of my own stature. I, however, cannot consider becoming yer mistress. One day when ye marry, my heart would be broken.”
Once again, he kissed her. “Ballocks, I am doing this all wrong. The first question I should have asked is that ye marry me.”
“DA!” THE CHILD rushed to Dorian with his arms outstretched. The word made Dorian want to run away. He was not nor would ever be anyone’s father.
The child wrapped his arms around Dorian’s leg. The boy lifted the carved boat to him and he looked past the child to Ileana. Red-faced, she hurried to retrieve her son.
“I asked that ye remain on the back area. Tis not good for the crew to see ye.”
Her wide eyes met his. “I am sorry. I was trying to give them privacy…”
Seeming to realize her slip, she turned and rushed toward the entryway that would lead her down to the quarters.
Who was she giving privacy to? He went around the side of the ship to the back and practically ran into Connor who looked up at him with bright eyes. “Captain, I was just coming to speak to ye.”
“Is that so?” Dorian saw a blushing Lily behind him. “About?”
“We wish ye to marry us.” Connor beamed. “I will be leaving yer employ once we dock.”
“I see.” Dorian met Connor’s gaze for a moment before looking to Lily. “Will ye excuse us?”
Lily rounded Connor and stood before him, her arms outstretched as if to protect him. It was comical when both of them towered over the slight woman. “Not if ye plan to hurt him in any fashion.” She jutted out her chin. “If ye wish to punish anyone, it should be me.”
“Are ye volunteering to be flogged?” Dorian asked, his brows furrowed.
Connor pushed Lily to stand behind him. The entire time she fought him. “She does not, Captain.”
“God’s foot, no one is going to be punished. Unless ye both continue with this silly display. I may just do so to save myself from witnessing it.”
Finally, a reluctant Lily was convinced to leave and Dorian walked back to where Connor had come from. “Ye plan to leave then?”
“Aye.” Connor met his gaze. “For years, I have traveled with ye on this ship and am grateful for it. Ye saved me from a horrible fate. While a prisoner of the ship ye took over, I had accepted death. Ye gave me a second chance and have been a good leader to me. However, I do believe my time here aboard The Mawdelyn has come to an end.”
“Ye plan to marry Lily and take her away. What about her mistress and the child?”
“I will return to my life in England, taking Lily with me. And since she refuses to leave Lady Ileana or the child behind, they will come with us.”
“I see.” Dorian wondered what he would do in Connor’s place. The man had fallen in love. It was the one emotion that drove a man to do drastic things.
Connor became animated. “I have been considering my family lands. There is more than enough I inherited on which to build a house for myself and Lily and another cottage for the lady and her son. He will grow up there to be a proper Englishman.”
“He is a Scot.” Dorian wasn’t sure why the idea of Gregor not growing up in his homeland bothered him. He would have a hard time returning to his homeland, but the child had a chance yet.
“Why not Scotland?”
“Ye know most Scots are not as accepting of us as ye are.”
“Ye are more Scot than British. From what ye have shared upon occasion, I do not see how yer family will be accepting of ye returning with not one but two Scottish women in tow.”
Connor’s excitement dimmed. “True.” He raked both hands throu
gh his hair and turned away. “I have enough coin to purchase a small parcel and settle then.” Once again, he turned to Dorian. “Captain, I accomplish what I set my mind to.”
“Then set yer mind to living in Scotland.”
He moved to stand next to the younger man and explained what he had in mind.
“YE HAVE BEEN very quiet today,” Dorian said to Ileana, who lay in his arms. As had become their custom, she slept in his chambers every other night.
She traced circles on his chest, her eyes downcast. “We will part soon.”
“Does it make ye sad? I thought ye’d be glad to be rid of me.” He’d not tell her his chest tightened at the thought of not seeing her again.
They would arrive in Barbados the following day. In truth, they could have dropped anchor that day, but he’d turned away at the last moment wanting another night with Ileana in his bed.
Kevin, although grumbling, had not said anything to contradict him.
Ileana lifted from the bed, her face hovering over him. “That I got to see ye and get to know the new ye, as much as ye allowed, was a gift to me. I know ye have this life now and it is part of ye. However, perhaps one day, if ye ever decide to leave it, ye will think of me.”
Would he ever leave this life? For all the fortune he’d amassed, he had no need to remain. At the same time, he’d never had a reason to leave. Nothing awaited him anywhere and although Ileana had uttered about him thinking of her, she’d not promised at any time to wait for him. Nor had she indicating wanting anything more than what existed between them on the ship, in his quarters.
For that, he didn’t blame her. No woman would want a life with a pirate, no matter how wealthy or how much caring there was. It was not the future a woman aspired to. To be left behind while he traversed the seas.
Dorian pulled her face down for a kiss with which he hoped to convey the depth of his feelings for her. No woman would ever replace Ileana in his heart. His body would never fully belong to anyone but her. However, in the depths of his mind, he knew given any choice, she’d pick someone else over him.
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