by Maxene Novak
“I do like magic,” Belle said wistfully.
“Oh, and there are French doors in the back bedroom that open into the yard. Makes it a little colder in the winter, but it gives you a better view and more privacy with your comings and goings,” Ruger remembered.
“Back bedroom,” Belle said decisively.
“Good choice,” Tassie approved.
They settled the details quickly, and Ruger drew up the papers.
“Now, it says first, last, and deposit, but I’m gonna change that. I’ll take first and deposit, but you can just pay last when you move out. If you move out? I mean, I’m sure eventually you’ll want something more than a houseful of roommates, but you know I’m not like expecting you to leave at the end of six months or anything, you can stay as long as you please—”
“Ruger!” Tassie interrupted firmly. “You’re babbling at the pretty girl.”
“Oh,” Ruger said, blushing furiously.
Belle giggled. Ruger was so completely adorable she almost couldn’t stand it.
“How much do I owe you?” she asked.
He told her. It wasn’t much, well within her budget.
“You can pay me whenever and however you like,” he told her. “I don’t count rent as late until the whole month has gone by. So you could arguably pay February’s rent on the twenty-eighth. After that, we’d have to work something out, or at least sit down and have a talk. But it’s just the sixteenth now, so you can wait if you like.”
“I’d rather make it official now,” Belle decided. “But I don’t have that much cash on me. How do you feel about PayPal?”
Ruger whipped out his wallet and showed her his shiny silver debit card.
“Works beautifully for me,” he grinned.
“Excellent,” Belle said.
She took her phone out of her pocket, pushed a series of buttons, and put it away again. His phone chimed, and he pulled it out.
“Done and done!” he said. “Fastest rent payment ever. Awesome. I’ll go get a key made for you. I’ll be back in a bit. Want me to bring dinner?”
He directed the question at both of them, but Belle sent it to Tassie with her eyes. Tassie sighed.
“Yeah, pizza would be fine. You bringing Colt back with you?”
“Might as well make it a party,” Ruger grinned.
“Great,” Belle muttered.
“It’ll be fine, sugar,” Tassie assured her. “Now, let’s find you something to wear. Your clothes in the little red thing outside?”
Belle nodded.
“Keys,” Tassie ordered.
Belle gave them up without a fight. Tassie could have told her to stand on her hands and she’d have attempted it. She wasn’t usually so passive, but between the comfortable buzz and Tassie’s natural authority in spite of her cobbled together fashion sense, Belle was ready to let someone else take the reins.
Tassie returned in moments, carrying Belle’s three overstuffed duffel bags. The bags she’d used over the years to haul her shoes and costumes, workout gear and water bottles. The sight of them gave Belle a dull twinge in her numbing heart. She was glad for the alcohol; without it, she’d have been in tears again.
“Now, let’s see what you’ve got in here,” Tassie said with obvious delight. She unzipped the bags and started pulling stuff out.
“Oh my god, you can wear this? This is like… a kid’s shirt!” Tassie gasped.
“Itty bitty titty committee.” Belle grinned wryly.
“Mm. Still, it’s wicked cute. What else have you got?”
Chapter Four
Colt pulled into the gym, mentally preparing himself for the class ahead. His post-partum class had started to become a parade of his failed relationships; woman after woman he’d dated once upon a time marched through, repairing their bodies after giving birth to another man’s baby. He didn’t begrudge them the happiness; he’d been the one to end the relationships more often than not. Even so, it felt like a mockery of his life. As if the universe was saying, Yes Colt, you are successful in your work but what else?
He shook the mood off and forced himself to be cheerful. His class was already lined up, waiting for him when he entered. There was Jennifer, the girl he’d taken to prom; she’d just had her third kid with a guy that Colt had written off as not-even-a-threat back then. Beside her, Becca chattered on about her firstborn. He’d dated Becca for a solid three months only a couple of years ago. He’d ended it because her incessant positivity grated on his nerves. She’d make a wonderful mother.
The four other women in the class had no ties to Colt, simply because they’d married into the town. Women who grew up here had all had their fling with Colt; it was kind of his role. He’d somehow become a rite of passage for women reaching drinking age, and at twenty-eight, that was beginning to feel creepy.
“Alright, how’s everybody feeling today?” he called out over the six chattering voices.
“Pretty good!”
“Not too bad.”
“I think my symphysis pubis dysfunction is trying to kill me.”
“Oh, ouch, sorry Ana. We’ll start with pelvic floor work today, see if we can’t get that pesky joint to function like it’s supposed to. Everybody grab a mat, lie down flat on your backs with your knees up. What music are we feeling today?”
“Zen!”
“Dance!”
“Salsa!”
“Of one mind as always, ladies,” Colt said wryly. He hit a few buttons on the music control on the wall. “Gonna start with some Zen music for the warm up, then we’ll move on to some solid beats for the rest of it. Good enough?”
The women assented, and he started the music. He slid into the zone easily after that, adjusting their positions, checking their pain levels, ramping up the intensity when he felt it was time. He worked on instinct more than planning; he followed the needs of the group rather than checking boxes on an itinerary. It had worked for him for all the years he’d been doing it, though he’d had to convince the gym director that it was the best way.
He drifted to that memory. Ruger had just left town, without warning and with minimal explanation. Colt, fresh out of his personal trainer certification course, had landed the job at the gym and was throwing his whole self into it. He’d been so determined back then. He still was, of course, but the fire had been replaced by experience, and it was with a calm determination that he led his classes. The heartbreak that had driven him at the beginning had faded as well, though it still hurt if he looked at it too closely. Ruger still didn’t know what his departure had done to Colt, and couldn’t possibly know that Colt was still holding on to feelings for him.
Of course a lot of that was Colt’s own doing. He’d thrown himself into his work, and after that into women. Nothing sustainable; he didn’t choose women who could stick it out with him long-term. If one surprised him, he’d sabotage the relationship fairly quickly. In the back of his mind, he was still holding out hope that Ruger would come home and want to be with him again.
By the time Ruger had come home, though, Colt had dug himself so deep into his safe cocoon of work and school and women that he was unreachable. He’d been defensively, aggressively friendly to Ruger when he got back, making it perfectly clear that friendship was all it was. In the two years since, his attitude had softened. There had even been moments, brief little interactions, which made him start to hope. But he didn’t say anything and neither did Ruger, so those tiny tender moments were shoved aside, categorized as meaningless and ignored for the most part.
Late at night, though, Colt would unpack them and line them up in order, searching for a pattern. He would swim through the memories, stitching together a fabricated hope. It had interfered with his love life. He’d become mildly obsessed with figuring Ruger out, and the woman he’d been seeing at the time caught on to the fact that she wasn’t the one he was mooning over. She’d left, rightfully so, and he’d barely noticed.
All of this washed through Colt’s mind as he did
his job. Ruger was on his mind more than usual today, probably because of the pretty girl who was going to rent a room in his house. If she was going to be in town for a while, he would try to get her to work with him; that leg of hers needed professional attention, and quickly.
“Alright, good class, ladies! Make sure you stay hydrated today, kiss your babies, and get enough rest. I’ll see you all on Monday.”
He turned off the music and said his goodbyes individually. He gave Ana some tips for stabilizing her pelvis so she could continue to function day-to-day and grabbed his gym bag. He was done for the day, which wasn’t unusual for a Friday. People liked to experience their whole weekend for what it was worth, so he was generally pretty free from Friday afternoon to Monday morning.
He felt eyes on him, and he looked out the glass walls into the lobby. Ruger was sitting there, sipping a smoothie, watching him with a soft smile on his face. Colt grinned at him as his heart skipped a beat.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he asked as he walked out into the lobby.
“Came to pick you up, if you’re free. Got a new renter at the cottage, figured we could have a welcoming party. Besides, she could use you.”
“Use me?” Colt laughed. “That sounds ominous.”
“Shut up.” Ruger smiled. “I meant she could use your skills, she broke herself.”
“Oh! The blonde who wants to fly and dance?”
“Yeah, Belle Kelly. Professional ballerina. Remember that video I showed you last month?”
“You show me lots of videos,” Colt paused to place his order, “The usual please… which one was this?”
The barista threw ingredients into the blender and kicked it on, which made conversation impossible for a couple of minutes.
“The one with the dancer who did that insane trapeze to pole jump and missed? You remember, it was catastrophic.”
“Oh, shit… I thought that was manipulated somehow. You’re telling me it actually happened to an actual girl who is actually renting your house?”
“Yep, all of the above,” Ruger told him, sipping his drink.
Colt took his own, shaking his head. “That was a horrific crash. I knew she shouldn’t have been walking unassisted.”
“Yeah, she had a couple drinks when she got to the house. Didn’t even affect her. She says it’s medicine,” Ruger told him.
“Yeah, at this point it would be. Hope she’s on something real though.”
“You can ask her yourself if you come over.”
“Yeah, yeah, twist my arm. What’s for dinner?”
“Pizza, per Tassie.”
“Get one with veggies on it and I’m there.”
“All veggies?”
“No, mostly veggies. Get the double decker supreme.”
“You got it. Need a ride?”
“No, I’ve got the car. Why are you driving? You never drive.”
“Pizza,” Ruger said. “I figure the girls would probably like to eat it while it’s still hot.”
“Ah. Point. So, uh… what’s the girl like, anyway?”
“Oh, gosh, she’s….” Ruger’s face took on a hazy glow, and he grinned his sloppy puppy dog smile. It hurt more than Colt wanted to admit. The boy was entitled to his own crushes, after all. Colt couldn’t expect him to obsess over him.
“She’s amazing,” Ruger finished. “She’s strong and smart, and completely insane. I like her, a lot. It’s too early to hope for anything, but… just from today? I want to know her better. She’s got me feeling all fuzzy in the brain. Doesn’t happen to me much, you know. Not since I left home, anyway. I thought I’d outgrown the ability to feel like that. And maybe I’m just star struck, maybe it’s nothing, but I want to find out, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Colt said. He felt sick to his stomach, and told himself he was being ridiculous.
“Right, so it’s just after five now. I’ll get myself presentable and be there around six.”
“Sounds good!”
Ruger hopped off the bar stool and pulled Colt into a bro-hug. Wasn’t what Colt wanted, but the brief contact made his heart flutter again. Better see a cardiologist, he thought grumpily as Ruger walked away. He certainly wasn’t going to be able to stop the feeling on his own. A plastic heart, maybe, he thought. One that can’t feel.
He knew he was being ridiculous. He didn’t need a plastic heart, he needed a lobotomy. But he wasn’t going to get either. Life wasn’t that easy. So he wallowed in the feeling all through his shower and as he changed into his street clothes. He’d discovered a long time ago that if he wallowed hard-core for a short time that he was better able to fake lightness and joy when he needed to. So he allowed the depression to wash over him like the overly hot stream of water from the bathroom tap, purging it from his system.
Chapter Five
It had taken Colt longer than he’d anticipated to come to grips with himself, so he stopped to get beer on his way to the house as a sort of combination apology and housewarming gift. He knocked on the door and opened it himself, as he was accustomed to. Tassie’d been the only tenant for the last six months, and he was on good terms with her at the moment.
“I come bearing gifts!” he called out as he entered.
“Beer! Gimme!” Tassie yanked the case from his hands, freeing him to kick off his boots and strip out of his coat. The smell of pizza filled the house, coming from the coffee table in the living room.
“What happened to your rule of never eating out here?” Colt asked Tassie.
“Made some allowances for our new friend,” she told him. “I hear you two have met? Belle, Colt, Colt, Belle.”
“Good to see you again,” she said, extending her hand.
He took it, and was struck all over again by the strong beauty of her face. Her hazel eyes glowed gold, reflecting the hue of her tightly-bound hair. She wore a black dress which scooped low over her small breasts and stretched down to her ankles. Fuzzy purple socks were a sharp contrast to her otherwise casually elegant appearance, but they worked for her. He thought absently that a paper bag would have worked on her, but he kept it to himself.
“You’re looking better than you did earlier today,” he said, keeping his voice light and friendly. “How are you feeling?”
“Oh, much better, thank you. I’m glad you came, I wanted to apologize for snapping at you this afternoon. Pain makes me bitchy.”
“Totally understandable,” he told her as he settled into the armchair that someone had moved next to the sofa. He grabbed a slice of pizza and slapped it on a plate before leaning back in his chair. “Pizza’s here, so Ruger must be around somewhere,” he mused out loud.
“Yeah, he went to go read something Tassie wrote today. Guess she’s nervous about some controversial wording or something, wanted him to check it for her.”
“Explains where she disappeared to, too. Want a beer?”
“Yes, please,” she said with enthusiasm.
Colt walked into the kitchen just as Ruger and Tassie were coming out of the office.
“No, I mean it. I think it’s great. It’s gonna piss some people off, but you made your point very well. It’s not offensive or cruel, it’s just blunt. Like you!”
“Okay,” Tassie blew out a breath. “Thanks for reading it for me.”
“My pleasure. Ooh, beer!”
Ruger grabbed a beer, greeting Colt with his big blue eyes. He walked into the living room and Colt followed with his drink and Belle’s, and watched as Ruger rubbed Belle’s shoulder in passing. The small, familiar gesture sent a shock of jealousy through Colt’s senses, but he couldn’t tell who he was jealous of. It was as if he were looking at an optical illusion; now vases, now faces. Only instead of a silly image, it was people he craved. He didn’t like to crave people. It made him vulnerable to disappointment.
“I have an idea!” Tassie said brightly.
“You always have an idea,” Ruger said playfully.
“Of course I do, I’m a genius,” she sa
id, tossing her curls back. “My current idea is that we should play a game. You know, kind of a getting-to-know-you game, to welcome our new addition. What do you say, Belle? Wanna play Never Have I Ever?”
“Sure,” Belle giggled. “Maybe after that we should play spin the bottle or truth or dare.”
“Oh hush, you’ll have fun,” Tassie said, grinning. “I’ll start. Everybody got a drink? Okay, so just a refresher for those of us who haven’t played this since high school. We’ll go around the table. Somebody says never have I ever whatever, and anybody who has done it drinks. Got it? Good. Alright, so… um… never have I ever ridden an elephant.”
Belle and Ruger both drank.
“Whoa! Okay, stories are needed,” Tassie said, eyes shining with interest.
“On my travels around the country, I found a petting zoo in South Dakota that had an elephant,” Ruger grinned. “I paid ten bucks to ride it around in a circle for half an hour.”
“I didn’t know that,” Colt commented. “That’s pretty cool. How ‘bout you, Belle?”
“It was part of a performance,” she said wistfully. “The elephant was a pretty good dancer herself, and we performed together for six weeks. It was a lot of fun, I did all kinds of tricks on her back, and at one point she twirled me with her trunk.”
“Wow.” Tassie whistled. “I thought they enacted some kind of animal cruelty laws about performing animals?”
“They did,” Belle said. “Her training was all very humane. She had a cushier existence than I did at the time, and if she didn’t want to dance some nights they had backup acts they could do. It was all pretty relaxed, very respectful of her personhood.”
“That’s awesome.” Tassie grinned. “Your turn, Ruger.”
Colt’s heart beat a little faster, and he rolled his eyes at himself internally. His obsession with Ruger was really beginning to become an annoyance.
“Um, let me think… oh! Never have I ever been to a rock concert.”
Tassie, Belle, and Colt all took a swig of their drinks.