“Your mother told me about your wife and showed me the photo. She left it here by mistake. I was only looking at it.” Olive dabbed her eyes. “I was going to hide it somewhere so you wouldn’t see it and be sad.”
Blake put his head down. “I’m a beast. Forgive me, Olive. I’ve upset you.”
“Yes, you’ve upset me and you upset me most days.” Olive sniffed some more and wiped her eyes.
“I’ve been intolerable. There’s no excuse for my behavior. I should have told you about Leo’s mother. It wasn’t a secret; I suppose it’s the reason for my temper.”
Leo ran into the room and looked at both of them. He hugged Olive around her knees, which made her feel better.
“I’ll drive you home, Olive. We can put your bike in the trunk.”
Olive nodded and sniffed some more. “I’ll splash some cold water on my face, so my family doesn’t see me like this.”
* * *
When they arrived at her parents’ house, she glanced over at Blake to thank him for driving her. She noticed he was staring at her with a soft look in his eyes.
“Olive, would you come to dinner with me one night? Just you and me?”
Olive felt as though she could not breathe for an instant. She was attracted to him, but would he always be angry? Was she willing to compromise herself to go on a date with an Englisch man? “You mean like a date?”
“Exactly like a date—because it will be a date,” he answered, now looking at her lips.
“I don’t know.”
He looked away. “I see.”
“Blake, it isn’t as simple as that. I can’t go to dinner with you. You’re not Amish.”
He nodded, still not looking at her. “I see,” he repeated, his voice almost a whisper.
Olive opened the door. “I’d better go. Someone’s sure to be watching us from the window.”
Blake opened his door. “I’ll get your bike out for you.”
Olive turned to say goodbye to Leo, but he was already asleep in the backseat. She met Blake at the back of the car.
“I always seem to be apologizing to you.”
She shook her head. “There’s no need.” She reached out for the handlebars of the bike and in the dark, she put her hand on his. She left it there and did not pull away.
He lightly touched her hand with his other one, and whispered, “Don’t give up on me, Olive.” He slid his hands away, and she clutched the bike to steady it as he walked back to the car. She wheeled her bike toward the barn while she listened to the hum of his car as he drove away.
“Was that Blake?” her older brother, Elijah, asked when she walked into the house.
Olive nodded. “He said it was too cold for me to ride my bike.”
“Where? Where is he?” Naomi came flying down the stairs and looked out the window. “I missed him,” she said as she stared out the window at the car that was now at the end of the driveway.
“I’ll drive you and fetch you from now on,” Elijah said firmly.
“Denke.” Olive knew that her brother was not concerned with the cold, he was concerned with her getting too close to her Englisch employer.
“You’re early today,” Olive’s mudder said as she walked into the kitchen to help with the dinner.
“Jah, I am. Blake drove me home because it was too cold.”
“You’ve ridden home on colder nights.” Her mudder peered into her face. “Have you been crying?”
Naomi skipped into the room. “She’s been driven home by her new boyfriend.”
“Naomi. Don’t say that,” Mamm scolded. “Set the table, Naomi.” Mamm turned her attention back to Olive. “Have you been crying?” she asked again.
“Just a cold coming on, I think. That’s why he drove me home.” Normally Olive told her mudder everything, but tonight she did not have the energy to explain the whole situation. Could Blake be in love with her? She had controlled her attraction toward him, but if he felt the same that would make things difficult.
“I wish I’d seen him,” Naomi grumbled as she placed the knives and forks on the table.
“He’s just my boss, Naomi.”
“Yeah, right.”
* * *
Throughout the dinner, Olive could not keep her mind off Blake and the warmth of his hand on hers. They’d shared a moment. How much longer could she contain her feelings and her attraction toward him? When she was alone in her room, she wondered how different her world would be if Blake was Amish.
She shook her head to rid herself of silly notions. Blake was not Amish and there was only one chance in a million he would ever change his life and become Amish. People do though, she told herself. I’ve seen five families become Amish in my lifetime. Jah, whole families, but not a single man with a child, she argued with herself. She recalled Sonia telling her there’d been many women who’d fallen in love with Blake. She wasn’t special; she was just one of many.
Chapter 12
When Olive woke the next morning, Blake was still on her mind. How could she go back there when she’d cried in his arms? Still in bed, she shut her eyes tightly and remembered the feel of being held in his strong arms, her head leaning into the hardness of his chest.
What had he meant when he said not to give up on him? Most likely he meant not to leave the job over his temper outbursts. Jah, that’s all it would be, she thought, wishing he had meant something regarding a deeper relationship, perhaps a future romance.
Blake was right there to open the door for her when she knocked on it. She looked down to see Leo crouched behind Blake, his chubby hands clasped around his father’s ankles.
“Good morning, Leo.”
“Good morning, Ollie.”
Olive giggled as she usually did when Leo said her name. She was nervous to see Blake again, but his ready smile put her at ease.
“Since I’ve got an early start I’d better make a move. If I can, I’ll be home early.”
“That would be good, wouldn’t it, Leo?” Olive bent down to Leo’s height.
“Ya.” He swung onto her neck freeing his father.
“I want to speak to you, too, when I get home,” Blake said to Olive.
Olive smiled and nodded, then Leo and she watched Blake as he walked to his car.
Throughout the day, Olive wished that Blake had not mentioned he wanted to speak to her about something; she could not stop worrying over what it might be. Did he want to end her employment? All she could do was wait until he returned. That day the cleaning lady arrived at the same time as the food delivery. Once Olive put all the food away, she took Leo outside to play, so they would not get in the housekeeper's way.
When Blake returned home, he played with Leo for a while and then sat down on the couch with Olive. “I want to explain about Mona.”
Olive blinked rapidly and looked away. “It’s not necessary to say anything.”
“Yes, it is. I was not a good husband to her. I left her alone with Leo and she got lonely. I was busy at work and even when I was here, I was either on the laptop or the cell phone. It’s my fault, what she did; I hardly spoke to her. She would have been incredibly lonely. She was sweet and not some horrible demanding woman like my mother probably told you. Everyone has their limitations, and Mona and I had reached ours.”
Olive nodded.
Blake continued, “I’ve got deep regret over what I did. I wasn’t a proper husband. All I wanted was a family. I took what I had for granted. I kept thinking we could have it all if only I worked a little harder or a little longer. My idea was that if I worked hard now, in a few years, we could enjoy ourselves without me having to work so hard.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Now, she’s gone. I have Leo and he has no mother.”
“Now is all we have,” Olive said.
“I’ve realized that. Learned it the hard way.”
Olive squirmed in her seat. “I should get going; it’s getting late.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“Nee, my bruder is wa
iting for my call and then he’ll come get me.” Olive realized that in her nervousness she had just spoken a few words of Pennsylvania Dutch to an Englischer. “I’m sorry. You probably didn’t understand a word of that.”
“I did.”
She smiled and then headed to the phone and picked up the receiver. She hoped that Elijah would be in the barn when her call came through, so she wouldn’t have to wait at Blake’s house any longer than necessary. He answered on the third ring. When Elijah told her that he already had the horse and buggy ready to leave, Olive heaved a sigh of relief and ended the call.
“I’ve disappointed you, haven’t I?” Blake said.
“It’s not for me to judge. Your personal life is none of my concern. I’m just Leo’s nanny; I’m concerned for him, that's all.”
“I had hoped that you would like to be a little more than that.”
Olive shook her head. “Nothing could ever work between us. We’re too different. The Amish have different levels of commitment to marriage than it appears other people do. I would never get married unless it was for life; it can be no other way.”
“It seems that I’m always hurting the people I care for.”
Olive was uneasy hearing him speak of his late wife and their unhappiness. “I’ll wait outside for my brother.”
“Olive, don’t leave like this. I’m sorry if I’ve said too much.”
“No, you haven’t. I’m pleased you told me. It’s best I wait outside. My brother won’t be far away.”
Olive said goodbye to Leo and hurried down the driveway. The weather was colder, but Olive was too amazed by what she had just learned to take any notice. Her familye were right to be concerned about her working amongst the Englisch. She hoped that she hadn’t put any of her friends in a similar situation with her silly idea that they should all become maids. Two of them had already gotten jobs with Englischers.
Olive wanted to share what she had learned about Blake, so she could have the benefit of someone else’s opinion, but in whom could she confide? Her mudder would never let her go back there if she breathed a word of it and Mamm learned of her feelings for Blake. She could tell one of her friends and the one who would tell her what she really thought would be Jessie. She would see Jessie at the gathering on Sunday. No, it was too long to wait. Olive decided to visit Jessie before then, but she would have to wait until her day off on Saturday.
Chapter 13
All was quiet when Olive arrived at Jessie’s haus on Saturday morning. She walked around to the back of the house and stuck her head through the door. “Jessie?”
“Is that you, Olive?”
Olive stepped through the door. “Jah, it’s me. Where are you?”
“I’m upstairs in my bedroom. Come up.”
It appeared Jessie’s parents were out. Jessie’s mother was always in the kitchen, it seemed, and usually on a Saturday Jessie’s father was reading on the couch in the living room. Olive made her way through the kitchen, then the living room, and then walked up the wooden stairs. She found Jessie in her room, dressed except for her prayer kapp.
“I’m running a little late today.” Jessie ran a brush through her wavy hair.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Nee, I’ve nothing to do but some chores today.”
“Oh, Jessie,” Olive said as she flopped down on Jessie’s bed.
Jessie rushed to sit beside her. “What is it? Job not going well?”
“I don’t know where to begin. It’s almost too awful to speak of.”
“Tell me.”
Olive looked into Jessie’s intelligent green eyes and knew she could tell her the whole sorry thing.
After she told Jessie everything about her feelings for Blake, being held in his arms, being asked out on a date, his confession of how he treated his wife, Jessie stared into the distance as she took it all in.
“Say something, Jessie. I thought you’d give me some advice or tell me to leave the job or something.”
“It’s not the first time one of us has fallen in love with an Englischer.”
Olive nodded. “Should I stay there?”
“You can’t just change jobs because of something like that.” Jessie looked deeply into Olive’s eyes. “Unless, he feels the same way. Does he?” Jessie raised her eyebrows.
Olive winced. “That’s the trouble. He’s as good as admitted he likes me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have asked me on a date. He even said it would be a date. Of course, I refused, but I wanted to go.”
“Ach. That complicates things. Maybe you should leave. The bishop says we should not make a place for sin. The closer we go to the edge of the cliff the more likely we are to fall off. That’s what the bishop said just last Sunday.”
Olive nibbled on a fingernail. “Jah, I remember.” This was not what Olive wanted to hear. Why wasn’t Jessie telling her it would be okay to stay? “Maybe if I pray about it things will turn out well.”
Jessie screwed up her face. “You mean you want to marry him or something?”
“Don’t be like that, Jessie. Some Englischers have joined the community.”
“Jah, but more often it’s the Amish who leaves the community.” When Olive did not respond, Jessie added, “Has he ever said anything about becoming Amish?”
“He’s asked some questions about Gott.”
“Well, what does he do for work? Could he still work if he joined us—if the bishop allowed him to join?”
Olive took a deep breath. “I’m not sure what he does. I think he does something at an office somewhere.”
Jessie put her head in her hands. “Olive, you’re not thinking straight. Just because there’s no men in the community for us doesn’t mean you go out looking amongst the Englischers.”
“Nee, Jessie. I wasn’t doing that at all.” Olive grabbed Jessie’s hand. “Jessie, I had a thought on the way over here.”
“What was that?” Jessie smiled.
“What about my bruder for you? He asked where I was going this morning and I noticed a funny look on his face when I said I was coming here to see you.”
Jessie gave a little giggle. “Really? He never looks twice at me.”
“Let me see what I can do.” Olive thought that one of them amongst their group of friends should be married and her bruder, Elijah, was a fine man.
“Nee, Olive, don’t you say one thing to him. I’d be embarrassed.”
“Better to be embarrassed once and then be married.” Olive giggled. “You’ve got nothing to lose. I’ll ask him what he thinks of you. Maybe he could take you on a buggy ride.”
“Wasn’t he courting Becca Miller?”
“A long time ago, but that didn’t work out. Think about it; we could be sisters.”
When Olive was leaving Jessie’s haus, she felt no better. Maybe because she wanted Jessie to say that she thought it was alright for her to stay working for Blake.
“I start my new job tomorrow at the bed-and-breakfast. Say a prayer for me? The boss is scary.”
Olive giggled. “You’ll do fine.”
“I hope so.”
When Monday morning came, Olive felt as if it had been two months rather than two days since she had seen both Leo and Blake. When she got to the door, it swung open and Blake filled the doorway. “Hello, Blake.”
“I’m glad you came back. I was a little worried you might not.”
Olive said nothing as she walked inside. She looked around for Leo. “It’s very quiet in here.”
“My mother’s got Leo.”
Olive frowned.
“I need to talk to you, Olive. Let’s sit in the living room.”
This is where I get fired. I’ll have to look for another job, she thought as she sank into the couch.
Blake sat heavily next to her. “I’ve told my mother everything. I told her that I was responsible for what Mona did due to my being neglectful.”
Olive opened her mouth to speak, but Blake continued, “I’ve righted my wrongs. I wi
ll tell Leo the truth of the matter when he is old enough.”
“Why are you telling me all this? I’m just the nanny.”
“There’s a saying, and I don’t know if you’ve heard it; “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” I had a family; I had everything and I didn’t value it; now it’s the only thing that I want.” Blake moved a little closer to Olive. “I want to be a better man for you, Olive. You’re a genuine person and I want that in Leo's life, to have that in my life. I want to be the best man I can be for Leo, and with you beside me I know it will happen.”
“Me beside you?” Olive frowned.
“Come on that date with me, Olive?”
Olive wanted to scream yes. She wanted to more than anything and if he were Amish, she would have said yes. “You know I can’t, Blake.”
“And why is that?”
“You aren’t Amish.”
“And if I were?”
Olive smiled at him and then looked down at her hands in her lap. “Then I’d happily go on a date with you.”
“You truly would?” He seemed happy and a little surprised she’d said so.
“Yes.”
“Then, how do I go about becoming Amish?”
Olive looked up into his eyes and no words came. Had she heard correctly? She found her voice and asked, “Did you say, how do you become Amish?”
He nodded. “Yes, I did. How do I go about that?”
Olive giggled. “You’d change your whole way of life for me to go on a date with you?”
“Not just a date. I would hope for more, of course. I would want us to marry someday if you’d have a cranky old man like me, but I would change and lose this crankiness. I’d be the man I used to be. I’d give management of my business over and relax for a bit.”
Olive studied his face to see if he was joking. He surely couldn’t be serious.
“I’m determined to be the best man I can be. Since I left God a long time ago, my life hasn’t been right. He’s calling me back to Him. He confirmed it when I saw you standing there the very first day you came to work for me.”
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