Without a Doubt

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Without a Doubt Page 18

by Lindsay Paige


  “I'll start nagging him about it,” I say with a wink.

  The smile she gives me is full of gratefulness. “Thank you, Eva.” She pauses for a moment. “I've seen my son very happy before, but never this happy. When Emerson loves, he loves with everything he has. He's already had his heart broken once before and his whole world was tilted for a while because of it. You're good for him,” she says with certainty. “So, please, don't break his heart.”

  I'm so caught off guard that I don't get a chance to reply before she stands to join the men in the kitchen. No one has ever told me not to break a guy's heart before, and certainly not his mother.

  “Everything okay, Eva?”

  I jump at the sound of Emerson's voice. I look over my shoulder to see him standing behind the couch. “Yeah, I'm fine.”

  “Good because my parents invited my brothers, their families, my aunt, uncle, and cousins over. They should be here shortly.”

  “I forgot about you having brothers,” I tell him honestly. He's only mentioned them once. “Wow, everyone?” I breathe, suddenly feeling nervous after being rattled by his mother.

  Emerson notices and comes around to sit next to me, taking my hand and interlocking our fingers. “You don't need to worry; they'll love you.”

  “I'm not worried,” I reply automatically. He gives me a pointed look before glancing down at my legs, which are bouncing. I force myself to stop. “Do we need to help or...” I let my voice trail off.

  “Come on.” He stands and leads me outside. Near the building they have, there's a concrete patio with a grill and wooden swing. We sit down and he tucks me into his side. “Dad will be out here in a few minutes to start the grill. You have me to yourself until then.”

  “What are your brothers like?”

  Emerson sighs. “Drew is the oldest and just like my dad. He's a firefighter and married with a baby on the way. Luke is immature and he actually attends the university, too. He's a senior.” His brother goes to the same school as us? “We get along, but it's probably because we aren't around one another a lot.”

  “Anyone I should be nervous about?”

  “Luke,” he answers immediately. “He's cocky and he hasn't quite matured. You really don't have anything to worry about, but if it makes you feel better, you can stick close to me.”

  “I was planning to do that anyway.”

  Emerson laughs, my tensions easing away. Just like he said, his dad appears to start the grill. His family members begin to arrive as well. First, his uncle and his family, and then Drew and his wife arrive. Luke shows up when we're about to sit down at the table to eat. My stomach drops when I see him. Oh, God. No. This guy can't be his brother. He looks nothing like Emerson with his blond hair, and tall, extremely built body.

  “Hey, Luke,” Mrs. Montgomery says. “This is Emerson's girlfriend, Eva. Eva, this is my wild child,” she laughs.

  “Eva?” he says, looking surprised and then smug. I hate him the moment he adds, “Are you sure it's not Catherine?”

  I wince and Emerson notices. I don't have to look at him to know he's confused. They all are. “It's Eva,” I grit.

  “Why would you ask that?” Emerson asks.

  “Because we've met before, and she told me her name was Catherine,” Luke explains as if we're discussing the weather.

  I swallow hard as it truly hits me. I've slept with Emerson's brother. Three times. The first time, it was in the beginning of my freshman year and Catherine and I were drinking a lot at a party. We got this bright idea to pretend to be each other. So, I went around, telling everyone my name was Catherine. It should be noted that I'm a lightweight when it comes to drinking and I get extremely horny once I'm drunk.

  Enter Luke.

  He was there and we talked until he led me to a bedroom where we had sex. I was a bit wild that year, especially with the newfound freedom I seemed to have, and my life motto of going with the flow meant I would sleep with a stranger I met at a stupid party. At least where Luke was concerned. He was good too. Good enough that I remembered how good the next morning.

  I slept with him two more times my freshman year. Both times while drunk and after having crappy experiences with a guy. It was becoming a bad habit. As I started learning more about myself, I realized I couldn't hook up with a guy every time I went out with a jerk. I needed more and I needed to be sober. It was almost four times, but I was practically sober and I realized I couldn't do it anymore.

  My experience with Luke is what caused me to be sure to wait before sleeping with guys and to not sleep with just anyone for the sake of sex. If it's something worthwhile, the sex can wait. And it's unlikely that sleeping around will lead to a relationship, which is what I truly wanted. It's what I've always wanted. For goodness sake, it's why I chose the college I did. To find love like my parents did.

  He gives me the stupid panty-dropping grin that I've seen before. Emerson doesn't get a chance to ask another question when Luke asks me, “Are you going to be able to keep your hands off of me now since you're dating my brother? Why would you tell me your name was Catherine anyway?”

  Everyone is staring at me, probably wondering what the hell is going on. How am I going to explain this? How am I going to tell Emerson? Is this going to be a deal breaker for him?

  “Are you sure—” Emerson begins.

  “I never forget,” he glances leisurely over my body, “the face of someone I've seen naked,” Luke quickly interjects and I wish I could throw something at his grinning face. Everyone is here. He just said that in front of his parents, his entire family!

  Embarrassment and rage overcomes me. “I can't believe you!” I explode.

  “Hey, I never promised not to kiss and tell,” he smirks. Luke's emphasis on 'kiss' leaves no room to mistake we did more than that.

  Having everyone's eyes on me is too much. “Biggest mistake of my life,” I mutter as I quickly brush past Emerson and walk out of the room, through the house, and into the backyard. How could he tell everyone in his family, in front of my boyfriend and his own brother, that we slept together? I knew sleeping with him was going to bite me in the ass one day. I plop into the swing and lean forward to bury my face in my hands. There's no way I can ever face anyone in the house again.

  The swing shifts as someone sits next to me.

  “What the hell just happened, Eva?” Emerson asks quietly.

  “I'm sorry,” I mumble through my fingers. “I didn't know he was your brother.”

  His tone is barely contained annoyance. “Can you explain already?”

  I sit up, but I don't look at him. “I've slept with him,” I whisper, never feeling more ashamed over something. “It was during my freshman year. Catherine and I were drunk at a party and we decided to pretend to be the other, so I told people my name was Catherine.” I pause, wondering how much I need to share. “It only happened a few times. God, what are the odds of this crap happening?”

  “Knowing my brother, the odds are probably high,” Emerson replies dryly.

  “Are we okay?” I ask, finally peeking a glance at him. He's unreadable though.

  His voice is devoid of emotions as he speaks. “I can't be too upset over something that happened before we met. I can't hold it against you. So, yeah, we're okay, I guess.”

  I guess? I try to ignore that part. “Can we go? I don't think I can face your family after what happened.”

  Emerson nods. He hands me his keys. “You can go on to the truck if you want. I need to say bye.”

  I nod, taking his keys. We go our separate ways, me to Sweet Irene, Emerson to the house, and I can't get rid of the bad feeling in my gut.

  WHEN I ENTER the dining room, the quiet chatter comes to a halt. Luke is still wearing that damn grin he was giving Eva. I walk over to my mom and kiss her cheek.

  “We're heading back, Mom,” I tell her. “Sorry we couldn't stay for dinner.”

  “Does Catherine, I mean, Eva think it will be too hard to be in the same room as me and
not sleep with me again?” Luke perks up. “Your girl seems to have some issues.”

  Never in my entire life have I wanted to hit my brother as much as I do right now. “Shut up,” I snap. “You shouldn't have brought it up in front of everyone.”

  He shrugs. “Don't do the deed, multiple times,” he throws in to fuel the fire, “if you can't face the consequences. Are you two serious? Maybe I should talk to her if there's a chance she'll be around for a long time. I'd hate to cause problems.”

  “You're so full of shit. You—”

  “Stop it,” my dad interrupts. “We're at the dinner table. Y'all can discuss this later.”

  Luke's grinning like he won the argument. I shake my head. “Fine.” Then I walk out.

  I slam the door of my truck when I get in, making Eva jump. As I throw it in reverse, the words tumble out. “Out of all the people on campus, one of the four people you've slept with had to be Luke?”

  “Sorry,” she begins, but I cut her off.

  “He's sitting in there like a fucking king and I'm the one having to leave early! There's no telling what he's saying about what happened or what my family thinks of you now.” I shake my head at the thought of her sleeping with him. “Luke? Seriously? What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Stop yelling at me!” she raises her voice back at me. “You can't be mad at me for this. I didn't know you then and the only thing I knew about him was his first name. How can you be pissed at me when Luke is the jackass who told everyone?”

  “Because you slept with my brother!”

  “Two years ago, Emerson!” she yells. “You were in high school and still dating Kelly. Should I be pissed that you were sleeping with someone else before we met? You're being ridiculous. It sucks and it's a hard pill to swallow, but damn it, I didn't do anything wrong!”

  There's nothing for me to say. My grip tightens on the steering wheel because all I can see in my head is my brother grinning. We get along for the most part. As long as we aren't around each other for long periods of time, that is. He thinks I'm Mom's goody-two shoes kid, which he can't stand since she calls him her wild child. No one ever takes Luke seriously because he's that kind of guy. He refuses to grow up. I'm not surprised in the least he threw it in my face that he's slept with my girlfriend before. If the opportunity comes for him to make me look bad, he takes it.

  We're silent the entire drive to my apartment. Once inside, Eva wordlessly disappears into my room while I plop down onto the couch. I hear her footsteps approach moments later, but she heads to the door.

  I turn my head to watch her open the door. She glances at me and says, “Good to know the jackass trait runs in the family.”

  I feel like shit before she even slams the door closed. I stand and run to follow her. “Eva, wait!” I call out when I'm standing in the hallway.

  She swivels around and I immediately recognize her posture as the same angry one she gave me after the whole moving in fiasco. “What do you want?”

  “I'm not my brother.”

  “No shit,” she snaps.

  “I'm not a jackass,” I correct.

  “If you say so.” She turns and continues walking. I jog to catch up to her, grabbing her elbow and making her face me. “Let go of me. Enough damage as been done for one day, don't you think?”

  “I'm sorry,” I tell her honestly, releasing my hold on her elbow. “Will you come back to the apartment with me? If you want to leave after, I won't try to stop you, but I don't want to leave things like this. Please?”

  Her resolve crumbles away. “Fine.” She brushes past me and back into my apartment. She takes a seat on the far side of the couch and I follow her lead.

  “I'm not mad at you,” I start.

  “Could've fooled me since I got the brunt of your anger.”

  I ignore her and continue. “Luke and I have always been at odds with one another. In addition to being punched in the face with this, I have my brother looking smug like he pulled one over on me. It pissed me off. And I don't even know how to connect the girl I know to the one who would have sex with Luke.”

  “People change, Emerson. Back then, I was a girl fresh out of a small town at a big university. I got a little crazy, slept with a jerk a few times after dates went bad, and it eventually hit me that I wasn't that kind of person. I told you I chose this university because I wanted to find love like my parents. Luke was becoming a bad habit who wasn't helping me do that. So, I turned him down the next time I saw him. It's because of him and what happened, that I wanted to wait a little while at least before sleeping with someone.”

  My face pales as a thought hits me. She's only slept with four people. If Luke was her first, he'll for sure never let this go. “Did he...were you a...was he your...” I'm not so sure I can ask for fear of her answer.

  Thankfully, Eva seems to catch on. “He was number two of the four, Emerson. There was a guy in high school, Luke, a guy I dated my sophomore year, and then you. I wouldn't have been able to have sex for the first time like that.” Relief pools through me. Before I can speak, she does. “If Luke is like he appears to be, I don't think I'll be coming to any more family dinners. I don't know what you want now. Are you going to be able to get over this? Or are we over when I walk out of that door?”

  Am I really going to let her go because of something that happened way before we met? After she stayed through the whole Kelly situation? Is it worth losing her? Eva mistakes my brief silence for me agreeing it's over when she leaves. She shakes her head and stands to leave. I grab her wrist before she can get far.

  “I'm not letting you go,” I tell her. “Not over this. Please don't go.”

  She nods and finally, she seems like my Eva again. “You're going to have to feed me if you want me to stay.”

  My stomach growls at the mention of food. “I'll run out and pick us up something.” After giving her a kiss, I grab my keys and leave to grab us dinner. Putting this situation behind us should be relatively easy. All we need to do is never think about it again and stay away from Luke. Eventually, whenever he decides to grow up, being around Luke and Eva at the same time won't be so bad.

  Unfortunately, tonight can't end well apparently. I push open the door to my apartment I see Luke and Eva in the kitchen. They haven't noticed me yet because of their fussing.

  “I always wondered whatever happened to you. Can't believe you ended up with someone like Emerson.”

  “Someone like Emerson? Please tell me, what is wrong with your brother? Because he's a better person than you are!”

  He ignores her question, sounding amused of all things. “You can be a bitch when you're sober.”

  “And you're an ass! What are you doing here? Why are you bringing all of this up? Are you still pissed because I turned you down?”

  Luke laughs. “Are you kidding? I still had sex that night. You might have turned me down, but the next girl didn't. Tell me,” he leans against the counter, “how much do you regret it?”

  “Oh, my God,” Eva groans. “None! You should come off your high horse, Luke. I had to be drunk and upset to sleep with you. You realize that, right? You were so eager to stick your dick in someone, it wasn't hard to be the person you had sex with at a party. If I had to do it all over again, trust me, I wouldn't come within a hundred miles of you.”

  “No? You would rather be with Emerson, who's probably imagining Kelly when he fucks you? Even a blind man could see it, Eva. He—”

  “Will you leave already?” Eva huffs in frustration as she interrupts him.

  “Yeah, that would be nice,” I say, catching both of their attentions. I've had enough of it myself. “What are you doing here, Luke?” I close the door, walking over to them, and drop the bag of food on the bar.

  “I came to explain things to my little brother.” He grins, his demeanor shifting from how he was acting with Eva.

  “You don't need to do that, so you can go.”

  Luke shrugs. It seems too easy to have him leave without
a fight, especially after what I witnessed moments ago. “Okay, have it your way.” He claps me on the shoulder. “You're a lucky guy, little bro.” He tilts his head toward Eva. “Best fuck I've ever had. Definitely a step up from Kelly for you.”

  My fist hits him in the jaw before I can think twice about it. I've wanted to do that all day and it felt damn good to do it. Eva shrieks, but Luke grins as he holds his hands up in surrender. “Get out,” I ground out.

  He nods and heads for the door. Before he leaves, he calls out, “Hope to see you around, Eva.”

  I flex my fingers as soon as the door closes. He's got a hard head, that's for sure. Eva silently walks over and begins to massage my hand. With my free arm, I wrap it around her shoulders and pull her against me, kissing her temple as I try to calm down.

  “Are you sure you know what the phrase 'we get along' means?” she asks, causing me to laugh.

  “Let's eat; I'm starving.” We sit side by side at the bar and begin to eat the burgers I bought.

  “Are you okay?” Eva sets her worried gaze on me.

  “Yeah, I just want to forget today.”

  “I'm right there with you.”

  We both have to work the next day, and with midterms this upcoming week, I know I won't see much of Eva. Or maybe I will since Catherine has reunited with her boyfriend and according to Eva, she's spending a lot of time with him.

  For the most part, Eva's past with Luke is forgotten. I do my best not to think about it. It's easier than I thought it would be, and as long as I don't see Luke, then I don't think about it. And I rarely see Luke. I'm honestly surprised my mother hasn't called to find out what happened. I'm not about to make that call though. Maybe we can all forget about it.

  If I'm not at work or in class, I'm studying for my next midterm. Halfway through the week, I'm sitting on the couch with my back against a throw pillow and the arm rest. My legs are pulled up and I have a textbook resting on my thighs as I go over a chapter I've been struggling with. A knock on the door causes me to lift my head as it opens.

 

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