by Cat Johnson
“I was. Then I remembered tomorrow is the first of the month and I forgot to pay the bills. Figured I better get back here and on my computer to do it quick. I guess I’m not used to having a man in my life. It gets in the way of things like paperwork sometimes.”
Jack raised a brow. Was she unhappy? And what if she were? Trey was head over heels for this girl. Jack could never pursue Carly knowing that.
Could he?
Against all logic, his heart began to beat faster as hope he shouldn’t have—couldn’t have—started to creep into him.
“I heard Trey asked you to move in with him. He told me you said no.” Jack mentioned it casually, thinking a bit of investigation into this situation couldn’t hurt. Strictly for Trey’s sake, of course.
Elbows on knees, Carly rested her chin on one hand. She tilted her head toward him. “You heard right.”
Jack tried to control his heart rate. Even though he had buried them so deep it would take a backhoe to find them, Jack still had feelings for her.
Could she possibly have feelings for him too? Could they both be denying what they felt because of Trey?
“Carly, I need to know something. The reason you won’t move in with him, it’s not because of me, is it?”
She pressed her lips together with what? Pity?
Great. He regretted the question and his stupidity immediately.
She reached out and squeezed his hand. “No, Jack.”
The pity part sucked, but besides that, her answer didn’t hurt him quite as badly as he’d feared it would.
This was progress. There might be hope for his poor heart to recover yet. In fact, he felt a bit relieved. He didn’t know what the hell he would have done if she’d said yes.
No man should have to choose between his best friend and a woman.
He laced his fingers with hers. “Then what’s the problem, darlin’?”
“It’s me.” She sighed. “I’m so damn afraid of being hurt again that I’m going to end up driving away a really good man.”
Jack shook his head. “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. A stampede couldn’t drive Trey away. I know that for a fact. Just like I know he would never willingly hurt you.”
She looked up at him with glassy eyes. “And what if he has no choice in the matter? What if he goes away on one of his mysterious assignments and just never comes home? I was with you guys on one of your missions, remember? I know what happened to your brother Jimmy. I know what could happen to Trey.”
The fear of every military wife, mother and girlfriend.
Jack breathed in deep and considered his answer. “Well, I reckon it will hurt just as bad if that happens whether you two are living together or not. The only thing you can do is try to live the life God gives you to the fullest with no regrets.”
She smiled in spite of the tears making her eyes glisten. “How’d you get so smart?”
Jack smiled back at her and wiped the single teardrop from her cheek. “My brothers wouldn’t agree with you, but thanks for the compliment, darlin’.”
Still looking incredibly sad, Carly blew out a breath. “You’re all so secretive. Would they even tell me if something did happen? Or would he just disappear and I’d never know why?”
Secrets were a part of military life, but especially so in his particular unit. Carly was correct in that. It added yet another difficulty to the already staggering challenge of trying to maintain a relationship.
“I’d never let you wonder. I’d tell you as much as I was allowed. I promise.”
“Thank you.” Eyes filled to brimming with tears, she leaned over and hugged him.
Feeling awkward being this close, he still couldn’t resist dropping a light kiss on the top of her head. He breathed in the fresh scent of her shampoo. As he felt his heart tighten, he squeezed her once and then released her.
When he raised his eyes, he saw Trey standing at the bottom of the stairs, his expression less than happy.
Carly glanced up at Trey and wiped her eyes. “Hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t even get upstairs to the computer yet to pay my bills. I’ll do it right now. I’ll be quick, I promise.” She hopped up, planted a quick kiss on Trey’s mouth and then jogged up the staircase to her apartment above the bar.
Trey pursed his lips and put one foot up on the bottom step. “So.”
Jack raised a brow. “So?”
He could see the inner turmoil written all over Trey’s face.
“So I know it’s crazy, but I’m jealous as hell of you sitting here talking with Carly.”
Jack broke out laughing. Wasn’t that ironic? Trey was the one who had Carly in his bed every night and he was jealous of Jack for sitting on the steps next to her? “Trey. There’s nothing going on. You know that. She loves you. She wouldn’t cheat on you.”
“I know that. Besides, we’re at it so often she wouldn’t physically have the energy to cheat on me. Sex is not the problem with our relationship.”
Jack covered his face. This was way too much information.
He looked up through his hands as Trey continued, “I’m jealous she talks to you when she doesn’t talk to me. Not about the important stuff anyway. Not even to give me a reason why she won’t move in with me. It’s damn frustrating.”
“Ask her again.”
“What?” Trey frowned.
“Go upstairs and ask her to move in with you again. I think she might say yes.”
Trey’s eyes opened wide with hope, then he frowned suspiciously. “Why? What did she tell you?”
Jack shook his head and stood. He already seemed to be deep in between them, and he wasn’t digging his own hole any deeper. He grabbed Trey by the shoulders and steered him in the direction of Carly’s door. “Go.”
Trey glanced back and then smiled. “Thanks, Jack. Oh, and by the way, you’ve got a red smudge right by your mouth.”
That little reminder made up Jack’s mind about what to do next. He had considered going back into the bar for another beer, but the thought of Darlene in hot pursuit sent him in the other direction, into the lot to where he’d parked his convertible.
Once safely in his car, he took a napkin out of the glove compartment. Frowning at the lipstick smudges he saw on his face reflected in the rearview mirror, he wiped hard.
The damn stuff was nearly indelible, but after he finally got himself fairly clean, Jack fired up the engine and headed for home where he could wallow in his lonely misery in private.
At least Trey and Carly were happy. He’d work on getting himself happy later.
While driving, Jack considered the best way to do that.
Tomorrow, he’d go to the commander’s office and ask to be assigned somewhere, anywhere. A little life-and-death action would do wonders to take his mind off Trey and Carly until the scar on his heart finally disappeared completely.
CHAPTER 2
Things had been too slow lately with no missions. Not even a damn field training exercise since the team had returned from Kosovo. Maybe the commander would have an assignment for him if he asked.
The hope for some excitement carried Jack through a restless night and to the next morning as he got ready to head to base.
That was when his cell sounded with the text alert. The commander was calling the team in. He was finally about to get his wish for some action.
More than ready, Jack grabbed his keys off the hook by the apartment’s door and headed outside. As his Mustang’s engine roared to life, Jack’s spirits rose.
His good mood lasted all the way until he walked into the meeting room, where the stormy look on the commander’s face was not at all encouraging.
Jack sat and waited in silence with the others already in the room until the entire team arrived. Trey was the last one in, looking like he’d just rolled out of Carly’s bed.
Great. That was an image he didn’t need burned into his brain. Scowling, Jack swallowed the bitter taste of envy burning the back of his throat.
Only
when everyone was seated and quiet did the commander draw in a breath and say, “Well, boys. The pencil-pushing heads-up-their-asses idiots from Central Command have come up with yet another scheme to mess up our lives. It seems we haven’t been using enough of our leave. So these idiots have decided to institute a forced furlough period for our ‘mental health’.”
BB Dalton frowned. “Furlough, sir?”
“Extended leave, Dalton. Three weeks to be exact. They’d wanted six weeks but I managed to talk them out of it.”
Jack had to agree with the commander. Three weeks away was bad enough, but six would have been ridiculous. They all knew that skills began to degrade after a month of disuse. It was why they constantly trained to keep sharp whenever they weren’t actively on a mission.
There was a general grumbling among the team, except for Trey, who leaned forward and whispered, “I’ll gladly take the time. You were right last night. Carly agreed to move in with me. I want to get her moved before she changes her mind.”
Wonderful. Not only was Jack not getting in on any action to take his mind off things, but he would probably end up using his three weeks of forced leave helping Trey move Carly into his place.
That was just what he needed, to carry a box full of her unmentionables into Trey’s bedroom. He had to do something about this.
Jack raised his hand. “What about any assignments that come up, sir? Who will take care of them if we’re all off?”
“Well, that will just teach those bastards, won’t it? CentCom thinks they can stagger the different teams’ furloughs and reassign anything that comes up. I think they’re wrong.”
Matt Coleman peered up from behind his ever-present laptop. “Obviously, sir. What if the target from Kosovo requests another face-to-face meeting with Trey? They can’t reassign that. Not after the guy’s already seen him on video and spoken to him on the phone.”
Jack really didn’t need to be reminded of Trey’s last undercover assignment. He’d never forget the image of seeing Trey and Carly together. It was seared into his brain.
“Agreed, Coleman. I’m actually hoping something exactly like that comes up to teach these assholes they should stick to pushing papers and leave the commanding to those who know what the hell they’re doing. But until they learn, you boys are free for the next three weeks. Oh, and don’t make yourselves too accessible. I want you all off the radar. Go home. Visit Mom. Take a transport to Fiji and soak up some sun. I don’t care. Just let the guys up at Central know they really are up the creek without a paddle if they need us on short notice during this furlough. Dismissed.”
Trey looked like a kid on Christmas morning as he stood. “That’s it then. I’m on my way to the Exchange to check the dumpster.”
“The dumpster? Um, why?” Even in his miserable and distracted state, that still caught Jack’s attention.
“For some sturdy cardboard boxes to pack Carly’s things in. I figure either the Exchange or the commissary probably tosses out boxes all the time. Carly’s got a couple of liquor boxes in the storeroom at the bar but not nearly enough for all her stuff. You wanna come?” Trey asked, looking way too excited.
Since Trey was serious, and seriously happy about his little field trip to the dumpster in the North Carolina heat, Jack tried not to laugh in his face. “No, thanks though. Maybe I’ll meet you at the bar later.”
“All right. See you.” Once Trey had said his goodbye and sprinted out the door in search of used boxes, Jack stood and headed in the opposite direction.
He knocked on the doorframe of the commander’s open door. “Sir. May I speak with you?”
“Gordon. Come on in. I’ve been meaning to ask you how Jimmy’s doing.”
“He’s doing good. He’s home with Mama recuperating. He says she’s driving him batty with all the mothering.”
The commander smiled. “Good to hear. So, what can I do for you, Gordon? Why aren’t you already off enjoying your furlough?” He said the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth.
“That’s what I want to speak to you about. Is there any possibility of being assigned to another unit just for the three weeks?”
The commander raised his brows. “May I ask why?”
Jack searched for a valid reason. “I . . . need to be busy.”
The commander seemed to look deep inside him. The man had the uncanny ability to do that and used it too often for Jack’s liking. It was probably what made him a good leader, but it was still annoying.
“I know something’s up with you, Jack. I’m not as blind as everyone thinks I am.”
“No one thinks you’re blind, sir.” Sometimes they hoped he was, when they were bending the rules. But unfortunately for them, they always found out he wasn’t.
“Yeah, sure. Anyway the problem is this is a direct order from higher up and there is no way around it. Go home, Jack. It’s just a few hours drive to your hometown, right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then go. Enjoy your mama’s sweet-potato pie you’re always bragging about. Spend time with Jimmy. Get away from your friend Williams, his girl and her damn bar. I think it’ll do you good.”
Jack tried not to let his surprise show. Were his feelings that transparent? He’d have to work on that. “Yes, sir. Thank you.”
“And, Jack . . .”
Jack paused at the door and turned back toward the commander. “Sir?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered if I had put you undercover with her in Kosovo instead of Williams. I saw them together. She was already half in love with him before they left for the mission.”
The commander wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t blind. In fact, Jack was starting to wonder if he was psychic, or maybe he just eavesdropped on their communications implants when they didn’t know.
In any event, what the commander said about Carly and Trey was true. Deep down Jack knew that.
He blew out a breath and embraced what he’d known for a while now but had refused to accept. “Yeah. I know.”
CHAPTER 3
Driving into the city limits of his hometown after being away for a while was bound to be a strange experience. The wind in his face glanced off the sunglasses he wore as he slowed the convertible to the local speed limit and took it all in.
Jack supposed it was to be expected, but a wave of nostalgia hit him hard as he passed the high school. Good memories there. He’d been MVP of the football team the year he graduated.
Tapping the brakes, he reduced his speed further at the hairpin turn where he’d lost control of his truck and wrecked it just two weeks after getting his driver’s license.
He smiled when he saw the parking area by the river where he’d lost something else with Mary Sue Barton.
But mingled with the usual hometown sense of belonging was the realization that he was a totally different person from the boy he’d been when he’d left years before. He’d seen and done so much since that time when this small town had seemed like the center of the universe to him.
Maybe the commander had been right. This little furlough trip home would be good. There were no reminders of Carly and Trey in Pigeon Hollow like there were back at the base, and it had been much too long since Jack had seen his mama.
There was an underlying homesickness living deep inside him he hadn’t been aware of, but it hit him hard as he drove down the magnolia-lined drive to the house he’d been born in.
He was so happy to see his old home that his eyes got a little misty.
Damn, when had he become such a pussy? He pushed aside the thought that his emotional instability had begun just about the time he’d fallen hard for Carly, which happened to be the same time his brother had gone missing in Kosovo.
Both of those things were over now. Time to move on.
Perhaps three weeks mental-health leave would put everything in perspective and get his emotions back on track.
Jack parked by the barn, and then put up the roof before he turned off the engine. It could
go from sunny to pouring rain in just minutes in the South. He’d learned the hard way not to leave his convertible top down. Not even to just run into the diner for a quick bite.
He grabbed his duffle bag out of the trunk and turned in the direction of the house, but a new colt running after its mother in the paddock just off the breeding stable caught his attention.
Jack paused to admire it. That was one thing he missed about home besides his mama. The horses.
The mare came to the fence where Jack stood watching her. She was probably hoping for an apple or carrot. He had neither, so he rubbed her nose instead.
He didn’t recognize her, which made him realize he had been away too long. There was a time when he knew every horse on this property. That time had passed.
“I don’t take too kindly to strangers handling my stock.”
Jack spun around at the sound of his younger brother’s voice and smiled. “Jared. Damn, little brother. Did you get bigger?”
All dimples, Jared grinned back. He looked broader than usual as his muscles strained the confines of his T-shirt. “Nah, I think you just shrunk some. Whatever you do all day at that super secret spy job of yours can’t build muscles the way unloading and stacking two hundred bales of hay can.”
“I told you, I’m not a spy.” Jack dumped his duffle on the ground and hugged his younger brother hard.
“Whatever.” Jared slapped him on the back before pulling away. He visually sized Jack up. “And I’m only three years younger than you, so get off the little thing, will you?”
Jack had first left for the service when Jared still seemed like a boy, but before him now was a man. They’d been eye level for years, but now Jared seemed as wide and broad as the barn they were standing next to.
Where Jack had followed in his older brother Jimmy’s footsteps and joined the service, Jared had stayed to run the breeding stables with Mama. If he hadn’t, there was no way Jack could have left his mama and the farm without help.
As much as Jack loved horses, Jared lived and breathed them. He had since before he could walk. It had been a chore just getting Jared to go to school most days. He hadn’t wanted to leave the stables. He’d sleep there too if a mare was close to foaling.