by Lilly Wilder
I’m sure there were plenty of nuances to the game that I simply couldn’t grasp, but I could see the talent he had and I was in awe of him.
It wasn’t too long until the game ended. Troy embraced the other players as they gave each other high-fives. They laughed and left the court, soaked in sweat, eagerly grabbing towels. I noticed that I hadn’t been the only one watching the game. A few other girls had taken quite the interest, and they flocked to the players, pairing off with them. Only a few, including Troy, didn’t seem to be interested, although he was glad of a towel. He wrapped it around his shoulders and wiped his face. His cheeks were ruddy and his chest heaved as he panted. His loose shirt clung to him and when he saw me he smiled widely.
“You thinking of joining us?” he asked.
“I’m happy watching at the moment. I’m not sure it’s my game,” I lied. I could probably smash all the records of the school, if I put my mind to it, but it felt like cheating in a way. It wasn’t like I was taking steroids or anything, but since I had been blessed with magic, I felt it was unfair to people who trained and worked hard every day of their lives. Plus it wouldn’t help me remain stealthy. Shame though, because it looked like a lot of fun.
“Well, no matter, we always appreciate a crowd anyway.”
“You look good out there. I never realized up close how intense it could be.”
“Yeah,” he wiped his brow again, as sweat dripped down his temples. “It’s a hard workout, but it’s good to work off energy.”
“I’m guessing the other players are going to work off a bit more energy. I’m surprised you didn’t have a lot of girls hanging off your arm,” I nodded to a cluster of people that were hanging out at the edge of the court. They were giggling and flirting. Troy turned to face them and shrugged.
“Yeah, well, most of those girls just like the fact that we’re a good team and they like to think that someday we’re going to be rich in the NBA.”
“And you’re not?”
“Nah, it’s just a bit of fun. I wouldn’t want to play professionally. I’ve always felt that if you turn a hobby into a job it takes some of the fun away. I play basketball to relax, I don’t want to feel stressed about having to perform or get good results.”
“I can see that. Funny how people find different ways to relax. I was just in botany class with Adam.”
“Oh yeah, him and his plants,” Troy chuckled, but not in a mean way. “He cares for those things like they’re people.”
“They do mean a lot to him. It’s cute, in a way. But that is, obviously, a lot gentler than what you do. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m a little surprised you three are friends. You and Josh I can understand, you fit together, but it doesn’t seem like you have very much in common with Adam.”
“You’d be surprised. But we have a laugh together and appearances can be deceiving. Adam has a rough side too.”
“Adam? No way,” I reared back and shook my head vehemently. “I saw him with those plants. There’s no way he could hurt a fly.”
“You haven’t seen him lose at a game. He can get pretty mean. It takes a long time to get him there, but if you push the right buttons…” Troy let out a low whistle.
“Hmm,” I said thoughtfully, “then I’m surprised that he didn’t explode at Julia when she came over to us and insulted him.”
“He’s not stupid either,” Troy said, his expression changing the moment I mentioned Julia. “Going after her is bad news and you’d do well to stay away from her as well. I don’t know how much her parents have donated to this place but they must have given them a fortune because she has free reign. Either that or she’s been fucking Mr. Griff.”
I shuddered at the thought.
“But how can she just be allowed to get away with so much? Surely others have complained?”
“Oh yeah, but Julia outlasts them all. The people who complain eventually move on, but Julia keeps on studying, so nobody ever gets very far and it’s not worth the trouble to keep on complaining once you’ve left this place. People go on to better and brighter things. It’s just easier to stay out of her way.”
“But that just lets her win. Hasn’t anyone ever even tried to put her in her place?”
Troy pursed his lips and nodded slowly. “There was one girl. Her name was Suzie. Julia had it out for her from day one. Every class she was in Julia pestered her. She pulled these pranks, like putting eggs under her mattress, filling her locker with dead birds, hiding her clothes so Suzie had to run across campus wearing nothing. I don’t know what Suzie ever did to piss Julia off…maybe it was nothing, but Julia was relentless.”
“And the faculty didn’t do anything about it?”
“Oh they punished her alright. They gave her detention, but what good is that when she lives on campus anyway? Suzie was getting more and more agitated and since nothing was happening she decided to take things into her own hands. One day she just snapped. See, Julia has this thing worked down to a tee. She’ll hound you until you snap and then pretend that she wasn’t really doing anything bad at all. If it’s not outright violence then people don’t seem to care as much. But Suzie had other ideas. One day she opened her locker to see that all her books had been gnawed to shreds by a raccoon that Julia had shoved in her locker. I still remember it actually; the raccoon scampered away. Julia was doubled over in laughter and Suzie was just standing there, holding her locker door open, looking at the torn tattered paper falling out. I think all of us knew there was something different about that day. When Suzie turned around we could all sense that something had snapped inside her, all of us apart from Julia anyway, because she was too busy laughing.
Suzie just turned around slowly and didn’t say a word. She walked up to Julia, grabbed a fistful of her hair, and then slammed her against the locker. Julia screamed and tried to get away, but Suzie was stronger than she looked and was relentless. Julia sprawled across the floor and Suzie kicked her against the locker again and again. We were all stunned into silence. It was awful to watch, although none of us could say that Julia didn’t deserve it.”
“What happened?”
“Teachers ran out to stop it. It took two of them to pull Suzie away. She was kicking and screaming. I’d never seen madness in anyone’s eyes before. Then, Julia looked up and this is the thing I’ll never forget. Blood poured from her mouth and she had a black eye, but she was still smiling, because she knew she had won. She’d broken Suzie, and of course Suzie was expelled for violence. It didn’t matter that Julia had pushed Suzie that far.”
“So Julia wasn’t punished at all?”
“She was, but it was only a slap on the wrist. She was suspended for a little while, but she wasn’t expelled like she should have been. She must have had a strong talking to from Mr. Griff or Mrs. Thorpe though, because she hasn’t been that bad since.”
“I guess I’m lucky I got here when I did then because I can tell she’d love to do that stuff to me.”
“Probably. You have to wonder at what’s gone on in her life to make her act that way.”
“I don’t know, I think some people are just rotten to the core.”
Troy looked askance at me, as though he was taken aback by what I said.
“You really believe that?”
I thought about everything I’d learned about vampires. I thought about all the people they turned against their will and how their cold, undead hearts were incapable of love. I thought about the hunger-crazed monsters I’d killed and all the horror and pain they had inflicted throughout history.
“Some people are just evil. It’s in their blood,” I said bluntly.
So far Troy had been light-hearted, but now he turned solemn. He spoke slowly and thoughtfully. He hung the towel over his shoulder and furrowed his brow.
“I have to disagree with you there Elsa. I think people always have a choice. I know that upbringings can be hard, but you don’t have to let that define you. There’s
always a chance for someone to be better, to chose a righteous path. The most powerful thing in this world is our freedom to choose.”
I wasn’t sure about that. Sometimes I think freedom is just an illusion.
“I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that. I think some people are lost causes and the only thing we can do is protect ourselves from them.”
“I like to think there’s hope for everyone,” he said. He glanced around at the empty gym. The cluster of people had moved away during the time we had been speaking. “I’m going to have to shower now, but I’ll catch you later, yeah? And remember, just stay out of Julia’s way!”
I waved goodbye to him, but I couldn’t help but think that I had disappointed him in some way. Was it really that bad to think that some people just weren’t capable of changing or worth my sympathy? Maybe my opinions had been clouded by having the veil of lies pulled back, by exposing me to the truth of the world. There was black and white, good and evil. I knew that for a fact. Vampires were evil and Slayers were good. While Julia wasn’t undead, she was just the same as a vampire. She was a bully, preying on the weak and vulnerable, trying to fill a void in her own life. Troy had seen how horrid she was. I didn’t understand how he could think that there was hope for her after everything she had done.
Chapter Six
I took Troy’s advice and stayed out of Julia’s way for the rest of the day. I spent most of my free time in the gardens, looking at the plants with new appreciation after my conversation with Adam. I saw Josh again briefly. There was an instant spark whenever we met and I could always feel a smile twitching at my lips. It was so easy to fall into conversation with him, although sadly he was rushing away to a class so we couldn’t speak for very long.
As I made my way back home Josh was on my mind a lot. Well, all three of the boys were really. Each one of them was attractive in their own way and I chastised myself for being greedy. It wasn’t as though I could indulge myself anyway. The life of a Slayer wasn’t conducive to romance. Still, it was fun to enjoy a little thrill, thinking about the possibilities.
I had dinner with Arthur. He seemed more pensive than usual and barely spoke as we were eating. When I asked him if he was alright, he said he was just tired, but it seemed there was more to it than that. Arthur wasn’t the type to keep secrets from me, so I worried that he had had some bad news from his superiors, but he wasn’t giving anything away. He smiled and reassured me that everything was alright. I had no choice but to trust him.
“There is this one girl, Julia. She’s a mean piece of work and it’s been so hard not to put her in her place. All I’ve wanted to do all day is throttle her,” I said, my words laced with frustration.
“I know it’s not easy, but you must control your impulses. You’re only made to fight vampires, not anything else,” he said, as though I didn’t know it already.
“I know,” I pouted, “I just need to vent. She’s the worst, she really is.”
“Just focus on what you have to do. She is of no concern to you.”
“She is when she’s got it out for me. It’s all over some stupid accident as well. Am I really supposed to just take it? It feels stupid that I have all these gifts and I can’t teach her a lesson. I’m supposed to fight evil, yes? Well, why is that just confined to vampires?”
Arthur smirked at that. It was good to see him smile. He dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “For a moment there you sounded just like your aunt,” he placed his palms on the table and looked at me sympathetically. “I know it’s frustrating to not be able to use your gifts, when they come so easily to you. There are times when I wish the rules were a bit more relaxed, but they are the way they are for a reason, unfortunately.”
“It’s okay,” I said despondently. “I’m sure that I’ll get over it. I’ll just go and hunt some vampires. That’ll help for sure,” I said.
We cleared the table and then I got ready to go out on the hunt again.
*
The night was cool and calm. The moon was high and bright. The stars twinkled and glimmered and I was eager to run through the night. I patrolled for a while, lurking in the shadows, watching people live their normal lives. I heard them come out of bars laughing, completely lost in drunken glee. I saw lovers push each other up against the wall in a rush of passion, only to disappear to a hidden place where their lust could bloom in private. I had always wondered what it would be like to feel the touch of flesh upon my own. There had only ever been one boy I’d been close to. It was a year or so before I eventually left the orphanage. Michael had been his name and we were the only two of similar age at the time, so we naturally gravitated towards each other. He wrote the most beautiful poetry and one day he let me read some. He had a beautiful soul. We spent more time together and I remember the first time we kissed. It was the first kiss I had ever had. It was chaste and innocent, just a brief brushing of the lips, and yet, it opened up something deep inside of me and I had never been the same since.
Even though I had been nervous, I was ready to give myself to him. I thought that we could find a family in each other, since nobody else seemed to be interested in taking us. He told me that I was the only person who had ever truly understood him, and I felt the same way. My heart beat rapidly whenever I was near him and we both wanted each other. We’d planned our first night together. It was going to be perfect. He was going to be perfect. I even went out and bought a pretty dress for the occasion but when I woke up in the morning I found that he was gone. Some relative had got in touch with him and he’d left without even saying goodbye. I knew in that moment what it was like for a heart to break. He hadn’t even left a letter or anything. It was almost as crushing as when my parents had died and I swore in that moment that I would never love anyone ever again. It didn’t seem worth the pain and anguish, but now my mind was alive with flights of fancy about the charming Josh, the intriguing Adam, and the intense Troy.
Was I crazy for being attracted to three men at the same time? Even if I was I couldn’t help myself. They were all unique and I longed to expose myself to that part of life again, to feel the flush of arousal and the pull of another person. One of the worst things about being a Slayer was lurking in the shadows and watching everyone else enjoying their lives. They were all so happy, so carefree. They could live with abandon and enjoy indulging their desires. They didn’t have to think about any manifest destiny or higher purpose. They could just be creatures of instinct and follow their hearts. I longed to feel the press of warm flesh against me, to have another’s breath mingle with mine.
I soon grew tired and melancholy. The streets were empty. The vampires weren’t coming out to play tonight. I decided that I would make my way to Angel Academy, just to see what the place was like in the evening. I had a vague idea that I wanted to sneak into Julia’s room to see if there was anything I could discover that might help me dissuade her from targeting me, but I think I just wanted to be around familiar surroundings. Things were always different at night, as well. I felt that the academy had secrets that would only be uncovered during the night.
*
The building looked much different, cast in the shadow of the night. The angel fountain was even more impressive and it seemed to come alive. Everything at night seemed more magical, as though spirits were conjured and an enchantment settled across the world. It was as though the impossible could be made real. I almost expected to see pixies dancing in the sky. It did seem a bit incredulous to me, that for all the fantasy creatures that could have existed in reality, it had to be vampires. There couldn’t have been something nice, like unicorns or fairies, no, it had to be the creatures of the night.
I walked around the building, careful to not set off any alarms or catch anyone’s attention. The windows were dark and foreboding. The doors were shut. The grounds were devoid of life and everything was quiet. I knew up there that the people I had met were sleeping. I wondered what was going through their mi
nds. Was Julia thinking of anything that wasn’t vindictive? Were Josh, Adam, and Troy thinking about me as much as I had been thinking about them? And what about the teachers…did they care that their students were bickering?
I ultimately decided not to creep into the building as everyone was sleeping and I doubted I would be able to rifle through any drawers without disturbing Julia. I also didn’t want to get a reputation as a creep, or betray my secret purpose in the world. I felt like an intruder this late at night. Nobody was supposed to be awake, but I felt more at home when I was alone. It was something I had always liked doing in the orphanage as well. It was so peaceful to have the place to myself. I could pretend that I was the only person in the world and it was freeing to not be beholden to anyone, to not have to worry about having anyone come to pick me and ‘save’ me from my life. Occasionally I would bump into another nun and they’d smile. Sometimes they would try to talk, but more often than not we would simply pass each other by and go about our business. The night was a time to be alone, a time to reflect on thoughts, a time to be at peace with the world. I used to love thinking about the future and what my life would turn out to be like, although I never expected it would turn out to be anything like this. Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have pictured myself being a Slayer. I often wondered what the nuns would have said if they knew the truth, for they were so devout in their belief. I didn’t know if they would even be able to acknowledge the existence of such evil in the world.