by Ann Grech
“Nghunhn,” Con grunted as Katy went rigid. Levi knew the feeling, had experienced the tight clench of her inner muscles clamping down on him as she came. Her keening cry as she thrust her hips, riding out her orgasm had Levi tipping over the edge. Two passes over his cock with his precum-slicked fist and he shot his load, emptying himself onto her flat stomach. Sensation whited out, enveloping him in a tingling rush from head to toe that blinded him with its ferocity. Levi’s grunts mixed with Katy’s higher-pitched moans and Connor’s groans to create a symphony that made his orgasm linger, lasting longer than ever before. When Levi peeled his eyes away from the ecstasy written on Katy’s face, he looked over at Connor, to see him watching them with an intensity that had Levi itching to reach over and drag him on top of them. Instead, Connor shifted off the bed, moving to his jeans and getting the condom out of his wallet.
Sheepishly, he explained while rolling it down his length, “It’s been in here for a while. It’s still good though.” After taking a deep breath and blowing out, he added, “There’s always a risk of it tearing with my piercing.”
“Get up here, Connor,” Katy growled, making Connor tilt one side of his mouth up in a smirk.
“So fuckin’ sassy,” Levi murmured with a smile.
Connor settled between her legs and kissed her slowly again, mashing the evidence of Levi’s orgasm between them. Levi reached out and grasped Katy’s hand. It was about the only movement he could make after coming as hard as he did.
“Please, Con. I need you,” she whispered.
“Me too, Cupcake.” Connor lined up and pressed inside her silky folds, causing Katy to gasp and Levi’s cock to twitch. They were perfect together, so damn beautiful that Levi stared at the point they joined, wanting to remember every minute detail. There was no way he and Katy would ever be the same together again. Levi prayed that Connor would stick around—losing him might mean the end of everything he held dear.
He rocked slowly in her. There was no animalistic fucking going on; it was all fluid grace. Connor made love to her, fusing them together so completely it left Levi in no doubt that Connor had loved Katy for years. His whispered sweet nothings were meant for her ears alone—something just for the two of them. And that was more than fine with Levi. His heart swelled knowing the bond he’d seen grow had finally morphed into the one thing they’d both wanted, but had never taken.
“Cupcake, I’m close. Come with me.” She didn’t answer; instead, she tightened her hold on him, gasping as she went rigid again. His glides into her turned choppy, his breath stuttering as he cried out and rode the bliss of his orgasm. Watching them come together was by far the most beautiful, sensual thing he’d ever seen. The only thing better was watching the two of them fall asleep together, Connor the big spoon as Katy used his shoulder as a pillow.
*****
He woke spooning Katy, sharing the pillow with her, while Connor lay on her other side holding her close as he ran his fingers through her hair. Levi could see the remnants of their midnight snack sitting on the side table behind his friend, their wine glasses with the empty bottle no doubt still on the floor.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Morning.” Connor’s smile was relaxed, content for the first time in a long time. The lines on his forehead were gone; instead, he wore a sleepy, happy smile.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You?”
Levi closed his eyes and laid there quietly thinking about what the change the night before would mean to his and Katy’s relationship, to the bond that each of them had with Connor, and he smiled. Wanting Connor to be a part of them, for Levi to be able to express what he’d ached for, was something he’d struggled to admit to himself, but their night together was better than he’d ever dared hope for. It was everything he’d ever wanted. Well, almost everything. But he wasn’t quite ready to take that step—he might not ever be. “I’m good too.”
Connor raking his fingers through Katy’s hair didn’t stop, except now his fingers lingered, brushing them against Levi’s chest before starting again at the top of her head. Each touch sent a jolt of lightning through Levi. He really did want this, but he couldn’t help think of how Connor had left them before, and how he was just about to do it to them again.
“Why’d you run?” Levi asked softly.
“What? I didn’t run.” At Connor’s defensive response, Levi opened his eyes and raised one eyebrow. “Yeah, okay. But it’s not like I went far. I just needed some time.”
“You disappeared for six years. You had leave but only came back once, and you didn’t tell us when you were taking it the other times so we could meet you. You ran.”
“You’re right.” He sighed. “I was in love with someone, and it hurt too much to see her happy with another man. And it wasn’t like I had anyone special in my life to miss me.” His shrug infuriated Levi.
“Are you kidding me?” he spat in a much too loud whisper. “That’s what you thought?” He jabbed his friend in the shoulder and blew out a frustrated breath. Tempering his voice back to a level that wouldn’t wake Katy, he added, “Mate, you were special to Katy. And you’re my best mate. You’re special to both of us.”
Connor shook his head, the lines on his forehead appearing again. The light dimmed from his eyes before Connor looked away. “You two are special to each other. I’ve always been the tag along.”
The memory of a young, scared Connor resurfaced. Those days when he didn’t know what’d happened to his dad, when Child Services were trying to take him away and Levi’s parents had fought to keep him. Alone and unknowingly rejected by his aunt and uncle in the UK—Dr Stratford and his wife were apparently far too good to have their orphan nephew living with them—Levi had begged his parents to let his friend stay. He’d never forget his mum’s words, “He’s our family, Levi. Maybe not by blood, but that doesn’t matter. Family doesn’t give up on each other, and we aren’t letting him go. Hold tight to him, okay, baby.” Levi wanted to reach out and caress Connor’s shoulder, but he didn’t. Holding tight hadn’t worked before, maybe this time Connor needed to want to stay. “Is that what you think now? After last night?”
Connor shook his head, his gaze imploring. “You two’ll always have each other and I’ll still be jackin’ off in the spare room if I stay.”
Knowing he couldn’t say anything to keep Connor there was like a dagger piercing his heart. “You’re still leaving.”
“I don’t see any other choice. What happened last night…” He scrubbed a hand over his face and blew out a breath. “It’s not like we can keep going. You’ve got your job, and you guys are meant to be together.” Frustration laced his words, but he knew Connor well enough to know that there was no changing the man’s mind once he’d made it up. And whatever the result, Connor would follow it through. A longing as deep and fathomless as the oceans filled Levi. He wanted his friend close, needed him there. But my job—it wouldn’t be around for long if news of our threesome ever saw the light of day… yeah, there is that.
“It was her all those years ago, wasn’t it? You fell in love with Katy.”
Connor started to shake his head in denial, but the fight left him when he could no longer meet Levi’s gaze. Raising his eyes back up, he asked, “What gave it away?”
Levi huffed out a quiet laugh. “Your eyes follow her around the room like a freakin’ puppy dog. And instead of wild monkey sex, you made love to her last night.”
Connor flicked his gaze down to Katy and the adoration pouring off him made Levi want to wrap him in a hug and never let go. Connor’s whispered words struck a chord with Levi. “She’s easy to love.”
Levi grasped Connor’s wrist, stopping his motion through her hair. “Is that why you’re running again? Because you think you can’t have her?”
“Like I said, you two are the couple here. I’m the third wheel. You aren’t gonna want me here forever—you’ll wanna get married and have kids and, what… I’ll be the pathetic,
creepy mate the kids call uncle who lives in the spare room and is in love with their mum?”
“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know that? She loves you too.” The silence lingered between them, their gazes colliding. Levi could see Connor wanted to add something more. Hell, there was something he wanted to say too—what about me? Are you in love with me? Do you want me like I want you? But the words remained unspoken. He wasn’t brave enough to admit them out loud. Levi laid there for long minutes, just looking, taking in his fill of Connor and Katy, watching as Connor gently kissed her forehead, as the lazy smile once again appeared.
“Mmm,” Katy sighed, reaching out to Connor as she snuggled back against Levi, connecting them from chest to knee. “Last night wasn’t a dream, was it?”
“No, Cupcake,” Connor murmured. “It wasn’t. Are you okay with what happened?”
“Hell yeah.” Katy laughed a husky, sleepy laugh before Connor tilted her face up to him and captured her lips in a slow kiss. “I’m happy, but I’m also late for work. Again. I need to get my arse outta bed.” Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, she pulled Connor’s face to hers again and kissed him hard and fast. That sense of longing filled Levi again, pulsing through his body.
Levi then watched with amusement as she rolled over to him, climbing him like a cat. He went willingly onto his back, snaking his arms around her body to hold her close while she teased his lips with a barely-there kiss.
“I probably reek of sex, but I’m so late.” Katy slipped off him and, naked, she dashed out the room. Her chef’s whites, together with most of their other clothes were sitting in the laundry room. Five minutes later, she was ready and running out the door, slamming it in her wake.
“Damn, she’s like a hurricane when she’s late.” Connor grinned and raised his arms above his head, arching his back as he stretched out.
“You can say that again,” Levi’s laugh got caught in his throat as he swallowed his tongue, and stared at the rippling lean muscles of Connor’s abs and that delicious vee which led to a patch of dark hair nestling his package. Before his semi gave him away, he swung his legs off the bed and onto the hardwood floor. Connor climbed over to his side and stepped off the bed at the same time as Levi, but stumbled, falling straight into his arms. Reflexively, Levi hugged Connor close, holding the other man to his body.
“Ow shit, pins and needles.” Connor shook out his foot, and they looked up together, their gazes locking. So close and both completely naked, the air seemed to get sucked out of the room. The other man’s lips were barely a couple of inches away, begging him to sample them. But that was the problem. Once he’d had a taste, Levi wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. As much as Levi wanted that, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it, wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready. And where did that leave Katy? He’d never—absolutely no question, ever—leave her feeling like she wasn’t enough for him. So Levi did what he did best—he deflected.
“Thanks, Con. For making her happy, I mean.” He smiled at his friend and resisted the temptation to stroke his hand down Connor’s face. “I’m stoked it’s you she fell for. Anyone else and I’d have to walk away. That’d kill me.”
Connor leaned his forehead against Levi’s and squeezed his hips. “You really think she’s fallen for me?” The vulnerability in his tone wrecked Levi.
“Yeah, she’s loved you forever. I didn’t understand it while you were gone, but seeing her now—with you around—I know it.”
Connor exhaled, the stress visibly leaving his body as his shoulders relaxed. He nestled his head against Levi’s shoulder, hugging him tighter. The soft stubble on Connor’s cheek had Levi pulling him closer, while the heady mixture of Connor’s spicy aftershave and sex filled him with want. Levi breathed him in, savouring his unique smell. He had to give him this—the reassurance that he wasn’t alone, that Katy needed him too. That I need him. If only I wasn’t such a pussy. Their nudity, the contact between the two of them wasn’t about sex, it was comfort. It was love.
Levi kissed his forehead and whispered, “Please stay.” He ran his hands down his friend’s bare back and snaking his arms around Connor’s waist, he hugged him close in exactly the way he’d wanted to do in bed.
Connor closed his eyes and returned his head to Levi’s shoulder. His breaths were ragged, his voice breaking on the last of his whispered words. “I don’t wanna go.”
Connor
Connor stepped out of the steaming shower he’d escaped to after whatever the hell had gone down between him and Levi earlier. One minute he’d been trying to stand and the next he’d been in Levi’s arms. And hearing Levi beg him to stay, tell him that Katy loved him had pushed him to the edge. He’d wanted it, damn well craved it. He’d wished desperately that it could be a reality, but could it really? He’d been worried about everyone’s judgement, had told himself that it’d never work. How had anything changed? It hadn’t. Instead, he’d given into temptation. He was scared—terrified that their affair would leave him broken beyond repair. But like a sucker for pain, a total masochist, he couldn’t keep away.
“Hey, Con, what time’s your gig tonight?” Levi yelled from the other room. “If I can move after today’s filming, I’d like to be there.”
“Eight,” he called out, scrubbing the fluffy white towel over his hair, before wrapping it around his waist. Steam coated the mirror, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was going to shave; he was finally at the point of almost having a proper beard. “Whatcha filmin’?” he asked, walking into his bedroom and pulling a pair of shorts out of his cupboard.
“I’m doin’ a few specials on preparing for Tough Mudder,” Levi said as he came to stand in the open doorway of Connor’s bedroom. “DJ, our location manager, set up some exercises with the army, training at the barracks in the mountains. Should be fun.”
“Cool.” Connor hesitated before pulling off the towel and getting dressed. He had planned on heading to the mechanic’s shop to see if any of the parts he’d sent away for rust proofing had been returned, but one day wouldn’t make a difference. Levi’s bike was as close to being finished as it was going to get—another day or two and it’d be ready for painting. That bit and the assembly, Connor wanted them to do together. “Hey, I can come if you like. I was gonna do a few bits and pieces, but it can wait. I might be able to give you some pointers.”
“Yeah, great.” Levi’s smile lit up his face and Connor’s heart skipped a beat. With an excited grin, Levi asked, “Can we take your car up the mountain?”
Connor chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve been itchin’ to let her loose on the winding roads up there.” Deciding against the shorts and shirt, Connor retrieved his heavy-duty combat boots and camos from his cupboard. If he was going to help Levi, it would be from by his side.
*****
Closing his eyes, Connor tried to breathe deeply. Tried being the appropriate word. He could barely get a breath in, but even still, the smell of eucalypts and the damp mossy undergrowth wafted to him on the cool breeze. The light sprinkling of rain they’d had on the way up the mountain had given a chill to the wind and left everything smelling fresh.
The beauty of the surrounding scenery did nothing to ease him; Connor’s chest was tight. He fought to gasp in another breath. It was as if an elephant was sitting on him making him struggle to get air into his lungs with each inhale. Damnit. Fuck. Frustrated, he ground his teeth together as he tried in vain to steady his shaking hands. His heart beat hard, each pump vibrating through him.
“Lee,” he wheezed, unsure whether his friend would have even heard. They hadn’t even started the run yet. No, they were getting the grand tour, the director insisting they see the training village even though both the army and the location manager had already ruled it out for possible filming. He shouldn’t be struggling, but his mind teetered on the edge of a ravine into hell, and knowing exactly what was down there in its depths—the memories, the grief and powerlessness—scared Connor more than the war ever had.
He was already trailing behind the group, leaving Levi to his thing, when the memories crashed into him. Alert, panning his gaze, he looked through the windows of the empty squat building, to see another opening on the opposite side. Through the windows was an alleyway, the flash of movement there catching his eye. Connor reached for his gun, but it wasn’t there. Why not? Instinctively, he felt for his sidearm, but he wasn’t wearing his holster either. Or his body armour. Jesus fucking Christ. His heartbeat thundering in his veins, panic seizing him, every muscle in his body turning to jelly. Hide. Dizzy, he reached out trying to steady himself, but he went down on his knees. He was a sitting duck. Fucking target practice.
Gravel crunched underfoot and Connor raised his fist—the sign for freeze—as he tried desperately to get a handle on where the enemy was, but his unit didn’t stop—they kept talking… they kept walking. Frantic, he looked up scanning the rooftops, waiting for the inevitable moment he’d see it—the wink of metal in the sunlight. The gun that would end him.
“Fire at will.” His commanding officer’s voice rang through the quiet village. Connor’s muscles wouldn’t work. Everything in him screamed to take cover, but he couldn’t move. Like sinking down into a pool of quicksand, he was rooted to the spot. When would it happen? When would the lance of fire-like pain from the bullet tearing his body apart come?
“Connor, Connor.” The voice was familiar. Rob. No! Take cover. You die too. You can’t die. Molly doesn’t deserve to lose you, you don’t deserve to die. Please. Strong hands on his biceps shook him and instinct had him fighting back, warding off the enemy. He struck out, connecting with a hard body but a grunt was the only indication he’d even affected the insurgent.
“Con, you’re home. You’re safe.” The hands left his arms and cupped his face and Connor recoiled, shying from the blows that would come. They did that—the enemy would beat him to a pulp if they got their hands on him. But they couldn’t, could they? He was there, in the middle of his unit. They protected each other. Connor looked around wildly. Why wasn’t he protected? Bodies were everywhere. Blood stains seeping into the dirt, the pools of red flooding outward and turning a deep brown as the dust settled. All of them, gone. Mangled piles of limbs twisted into barely recognizable forms. A tortured cry ripped itself from his throat as he twisted, trying to reach his brothers and sisters.